| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/2/2006 8:54:58 PM | Ladies, I have a little problem that shouldn't be defined as such. The difficulty at hand is my eloquence - which, combined with my age, makes me seem disingenuous.
I am under the impression that 18-year-olds shouldn't be articulate, self-knowledgeable individuals with good taste in lifestyle, as well as women. MTV, experience, and even profile reviews on this very site have put the idea in my mind that if I don't slobber over busty teenage bimbos, then I don't have a chance of winning anybody over...
I know, I'm thinking too much, but I would like some opinions that steer me in the right direction:
I wonder if there is a market for honest-to-goodness mature, caring, articulate teenage men...
You'd think I'd be public drool-magnet #1 from the female reviews... but when I message them, they think I'm too good to be true...
This is a nightmare! Can anyone help me out on how to cope with my problematic advantage?
>_< | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/2/2006 9:22:05 PM | | I'm not being sarcastic. I'm serious, and you're all sorta acting as living proof of it... | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/2/2006 9:26:46 PM | | ....good luck man...you are next to mission impossible...best thing you can do (and statistically more probable to succeed) is hang out in places that intelligent teenegers might hang out...library, coffee places, bookstores... | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/2/2006 9:37:50 PM | I am so glad that someone posted about this topic...
I'm not 18, I'm 22, but I face many of the same problems from the female prosective.
I don't really have an answer to your problem. But I assure you...There are women out there who are attracted to intelligent, articulate, self-knowledgeable males. And, it seems that these males are very hard to find. I am sorry that you are having a problem attracting women. Your eloquence would definitey be a turn on for me!
Unfortunately, many people don't prize education as much as they should. Don't let it get you down, and don't change who you are and how you present yourself. I promise you that you will find what you're looking for eventually.
If you're ever in the mood for an intelligent or verbose conversation, please feel free to send me a message.
Good luck! | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/2/2006 9:39:09 PM | Thanks for the advice. I probably won't have an easy time following up on it, though... I'm looking for women, not teenagers. I've never been to any of those places and seen any sign that women there were interested in being approached by guys... And trust me, I look...
Again, thanks for the effort. It's a response, at least...
[EDIT] In response to the newer response, which wasn't there when I started this reply, I say the following:
Thanks! I've always felt like a rare quantity, and the reassurance is comforting, to say the least. I intend to take you up on your gracious offer.
*yells* If anyone is smart, they should show it as much as they would show their cleavage or their musculature if they were proud of that. */yelling*
In short: thanks. | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/2/2006 9:43:12 PM | You're an anomaly, in that you're developed well past the bounds of most average teenagers.
This will be a painful transition for you, if you find the company of your peers annoying as they experiment with drinking and drugs ("DUDE! I'm, like, SO WASTED right now!!").
I feel your pain. You'll be in a great place in a few years in college, if that's any consolation. There, women will find you deep. | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/2/2006 9:55:35 PM | I'm in college.
Community college.
>_<
Bad idea!
Ophelia, I'm well aware of the stings you can bestow upon someone, so this kind gesture is very touching. Thank you.
[EDIT] Then again, the women who happen to be adults taking on classes again are drawn to me... And I've started to gain a reputation in my classes as a genius...
*rubs hands together* | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/2/2006 10:37:27 PM |
Then again, the women who happen to be adults taking on classes again are drawn to me... And I've started to gain a reputation in my classes as a genius...
*rubs hands together*
LOL! Watch out man, self-gratification and arrogance might transmogrify you to Dr. Evil...take a look at my sorry sight! :-) | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 1:10:06 AM | Wow... and here I thought I was the only like that at that age, LOL. I'm twenty-seven now myself, but way back when I was in high school I had the same problem; I was far too eloquent, well-spoken, well-wannered, mature and what not for my age. As such, I can personally relate to what you must be going through.
I'll admit my experiences in secondary school were rather disappointing and sorely-lacking in the relationship department, and I sincerely wish I had some sort of awe-inspiring bit of wisdom to help you through this discouraging time, but alas, I have no such advice to give.
Honestly, I simply just sucked it up and went through it. That's pretty much what got me through. And like others in this thread have already made mention of, it won't last forever, friend. Soon enough, you'll be around like-minded women that will find these traits rather attractive. You just need to give it some time, is all...  | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 2:39:06 AM | I'd rather keep my super-high standards and be super-happy with the result, thanks...
Seriously though, thanks for the attempt to cheer me up 
^_^ | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 8:46:47 AM | | So...Do you still feel like there isn't a market for men like you? You never know, things may literally change overnight. | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 9:23:45 AM | Well here's the thing.. Being articulate is one thing... Using as many big words as you can and talking as if you have a stick implanted in your butt is completely different. Intelligence is great... But when not discussing intellectual things lets try and just talk like a down to earth person...
Seems to me that you are trying to come off as a very mature young man. Which is great... Teenage girls always talk about finding a guy with some maturity... But every girl just wants to have fun.. And listen to you talk like jeeves all the time isn't so much fun.. Again... Down-to-earth and intelligent is the key..
And don't tell me you don't have your nose up in their air... Look at the last line.. "my problematic advantage".. Which basically means that you are the greatest but no one else appreciates it so it's a problem for you... Oh and I love the lines about being too good to be true... I'm sure thats all you ever hear... Maybe this is an attention seeking post just a bit?
My biggest conclusion. You are lacking somewhere... And the lack of picture tells me its probably in the looks area... Maybe even more in the crotch area... So hey... Just stop overcompensating. | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 11:09:28 AM | ^^^^^ Ha ha you're right, where's the delete button for this one?? There is something wrong with this kid, my advice would be to go finds some friends, real-live friends. Talking like you do is going to get you nowhere but laughed at and picked on. Go have some fun, talk like normal people when you are around normal people. When you are around educated people, there's your chance to do all the nerd-talking you want.
SG | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 11:29:30 AM | ^Some minor things involving demeanor. You seem to carry yourself well. You've got spirit. Nothing to be ashamed of. But try to realize that some people will want to take you down a notch because you seem quite confident. Some classify this as arrogance. This will happen more and more.
It always seems that very confident people or very weak people are singled out for punishment. Just play your hand close to your body in strange crowds and don't take what other people think too personally.
And make sure you take time to account and appreciate your advantages, before you find yourself surrounded by your disadvantages.   | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 11:33:46 AM | | Smiling... A Confident person doesn't need to state to the world how great they are.. If someone is telling you that their shit don't stink then it is because they are insecure. They want to tell you they are the best because they think you can't determine that yourself. This is not confidence. Confidence is never spoken.. Arrogance however is... | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 12:23:08 PM |
I am under the impression that 18-year-olds shouldn't be articulate, self-knowledgeable individuals with good taste in lifestyle, as well as women. MTV, experience, and even profile reviews on this very site have put the idea in my mind that if I don't slobber over busty teenage bimbos, then I don't have a chance of winning anybody over...
This comes across as arrogant as hell, wether or not it's true, complaining about it and acting sanctimonious is just annoying.
/cynical mode on
Don't expect college to be much better, and don't go after the genius reputation, it will get you the girls, until finish helping them with their homework.
/cynical mode off
If you are as mature and eloquent as you seem desperate to get across then trooper up and just bear the burden.
And lastly, anyone can use linguistic skills to try and show off how intelligent they are, but the actual challenge isn't using big words, it's knowing when to use them, and when to talk at more relaxed level. If you are trying to show off by talking about your views on novels based in dystopian societies to some random person, you are just going to bore them.
It really just seems like you are coming across as "I'm so much better then these neanderthals around me, why don't the women recognize my greatness and flock to me?"
The real solution may be as simple as finding a less abrasive way of behaving. | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 12:45:43 PM | well put, fieryredhead. i've found there's a reverse correlation between the adamance with which a person claims they're charmingly intelligent, and the actual degree to which they ARE charmingly intelligent.
my advice: stop trying so damned hard. | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 12:46:23 PM | I know fire. I think he has heart. But he needs some life experience. To be honest my first instinct was to cut him down too but I waited a bit because there was something I liked about his attitude.
You'd think I'd be public drool-magnet #1 from the female reviews A little over the top.
reputation in my classes as a genius... Or they are amused by you and don't know how to respond in kind.
Self flagellation helps when you're a sperm but after that, it makes people a little squirmy. Nobody wants a sperm in their face. | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 1:23:17 PM | I'll admit, I was partially letting off some really annoying steam.
I'm sorry for being arrogant. I don't like being arrogant.
Honestly, I am insecure deep down. I'm insecure that I'm just a fake. A non-person because of my disability.
I don't need reports of overcompensation for small penis size or accusations of being arrogant. That's honestly a downright immature thing to do, and accounts for as much insecurity on the giving side as it may point to on the receiving side.
I use big words because they're better for explaining how I feel. If they're too big for you, then don't blame a fake Napoleon complex for your own taste in speech. I don't mind if you ask me to tone down my intellectual language, but avoid crass. It's just stupid, inconsiderate, and mean.
Thanks, above post... Your patience is very kind and hopefully worth it.
I want to be humble, and I'll try harder. I ask that you all do the same.
-_- <--(whew!)
[EDIT]: If you're gonna make comments about my lack of pictures, then at least check my profile to see if I can explain it (which I can, thanks...) | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 1:28:07 PM | OP, just look at it that some simply can't appreciate you...they're used to goofy-acting, immature, low-hanging ripped jeans and backward hat dressers, who think a date is 'hanging out'. Eventually, you'll find one that appreciates you for who you are, and it will be worth the wait...but be prepared to meet a lot of frogs along the way ;)
(speaking from experience, and I'm still waiting ;>) | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 2:37:25 PM |
I'll admit, I was partially letting off some really annoying steam.
And I've had the same urge to make a post very similar to this, but I don't, and there is a reason why, it comes across very poorly.
I use big words because they're better for explaining how I feel. If they're too big for you, then don't blame a fake Napoleon complex for your own taste in speech.
Well without getting into the wonderful internet problem of 'I drive a porsche have 1600 on my sat and make 200k a year pitfall' lets just say your assumption is laughable and leave it at that. There's a huge difference between using words because they come naturaly, and using words because it's your badge to intellectual elitism; you were coming off as the second when the tone of the rest of your post was considered.
I want to be humble, and I'll try harder. I ask that you all do the same.
It's not an issue of being humble, it's an issue of being honest with yourself. Every time I think about making an angry post about the complete lack of response I get. One where I would list off everything that makes me an excellent catch, I'm honest with myself and remind myself of the reasons I'm not the perfect catch.
People are not all irrational, if you are alone chances are there is a reason, be it shyness, body image, personality, lack of confidence, or one of hundreds of other things. | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 3:30:18 PM | To the folks who have been trying to look deeper than mainstream psychological bull will take them: thank you.
To the folks who are trying to generalize me, I simply have to tell you some things...
First of all, I *do* naturally use larger words than most. It actually makes sense. It's called vocabulary, and it's quite useful if you want to make a succinct point.
You ever think I might know what I'm talking about?
By the way, I didn't list everything that makes me an excellent catch. There's more, and you're not gonna hear it.
intellectual elitism? And what am I hearing from you right now, if not psychonormal elitism?
There is such a thing as respect. I was showing it to you, trying to apologize for my own ill behavior, and you flung it across the room as if it came out of your ancestral monkey's anus...
And you think I'm the elitist here? I'm just pissed at my misfortune! You guys are rubbing it in! Nice job guys, you're derailing the thread! *applause*
You mention how special you are for never giving out a cry for help... That's a weakness, folks; a disorder of the ego: obsessive anti-dependency. It's not independence or individualism. It's cowardice. Chew on that for a while... | |
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| The Price of Being Suave...
Posted: 11/3/2006 3:34:21 PM | Sweety.. I don't have problems with big words. I am very intelligent.. I also know about a simple word called appropriate. Yes.. Sometimes we need only speak in certain ways when appropriate... Not all the time...
As far as me saying you are compensating. Well you are.. Plain and simple. I never said what it could be. I only gave speculation that it could be one of those two things... What you are actually over compensating for only you know..
And explain all you want why you don't have a picture. Those excuses are a dime a dozen. There is absolutely NO reason to not have a photo. walmart picture disc $3... Look into it. | |
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