| Got a not interested can that ever change?
Posted: 11/3/2006 12:07:33 AM | Here is my predicament. I am a newby really to dating havent even been on a date in 5 years and im 23. And I have terrible social anxiety. I was talking to this girl that I like and basically got told that she is not interested, but she doesn't know the real me. The only time I can see her is in a public place in front of people we know and I get so nervous I end up being quiet and not being able to talk much. And end up with nervous body language. When I first started talking to her I am pretty sure she was somewhat interested but I guess my nervousness and slow action changed that. Now I am working on trying to get over this anxiety issue , if she notices a change in me over time what are the odds of her not interested stance changing to interested. this probably seems redundant but I wouldnt mind hearing what people have to say. Ill try my best to answer any questions if there are any.
Also if anyone knows how to get over a rather crippling social anxiety let me know. This sucks. | |
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| Got a not interested can that ever change?
Posted: 11/3/2006 12:11:58 AM | man imma tell you sometimes i get that way sometimes imma tell u from experience ladies do not like shy or unsure guys you change and i guarantee a change of heart.. just be yourself thats all anyone can expect of you but be confident.. good luck | |
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| Got a not interested can that ever change?
Posted: 3/11/2008 5:34:35 PM | | Be yourself. Get out more and get in more social situations where you CAN be yourself. Maybe she's just NOT interested? Trust me... there are plenty of women out there so don't limit yourself to just one at your age. Experience different women in different relationships. My best friends in life have been men and I have a good friendship with most my my "exes"... with the exception of one that I haven't spoken to since we split up! Life's TOO SHORT! | |
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| Got a not interested can that ever change?
Posted: 3/11/2008 6:19:44 PM | Start practicing in the mirror things you would say to this girl....practice makes good. Practice learning to overcome your shyness...this will get easier in time. Good luck!   | |
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| Got a not interested can that ever change?
Posted: 3/11/2008 7:16:11 PM | I had social anxiety really bad. You have to put yourself out there and be indifferent to whatever other people think of you. That has to be it, right?? Who cares what they think. Nothing bad is going to happen, whatever the fear is, odds are that it won't happen.
I used to use this trick. Might seem a little goofy, but if you look at things from the inside out... realize that it's YOU there inside, and everybody else on the outside is your simple reality. THEY are in YOUR world, not the other way around. You're in their world when you feel anxiety. Nothing is going to hurt you, dude. Stay on top, and keep them in YOUR world. Walk around everyday in YOUR world and who gives a crap about what other people think... just talk to people for no reason everywhere you go, anytime you see another person and remember that you're in YOUR world not THEIRS. Practice it and it really helps. | |
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| Got a not interested can that ever change?
Posted: 3/12/2008 4:56:14 AM |
if anyone knows how to get over a rather crippling social anxiety let me know.
Anxiety is a result of being too attached to something - in this case, to the concept of yourself and your ego. I'd suggest studying some eastern philosphy (Buddhism, Taoism or Zen, maybe) since they focus on detachment, letting go and contain methods for attaining that.
You really do have to get past it - there is nothing that will make you less attractive to a woman than to be shy and lack confidence. Even Hugh Grant, who is famous for his "shy, unsure guy" act, does shy and unsure in such a way that it communicates compete confidence.
Finally, she won't notice a change in you over time. She'll look at you as that shy guy for a long time, probably long after you aren't that guy anymore, then one day, WHAM, she'll notice.
Don't wait for her - get out there and do your thing. | |
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| Got a not interested can that ever change?
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:27:26 AM | Go out on your own..work on you to get over it.
I used to be painfully shy..got fed up with it..set a time limit of 3 months to go out alone and 'make more effort' to get over shyness.
It was hard..painful sometimes but it worked.
She will need to see a major change in you to change her mind..part of getting practise out there like I didis youwon't see her..you will come back a different person.
You have to want it enough though..I did and I stuck with it..did me the world of good. | |
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| Got a not interested can that ever change?
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:30:26 AM | | Go to a mall or a public place and force yourself to say hi to every woman you pass. When you are at a store or an eatery and the cashier or whatever says hi, instead of saying the usual half-hearted hi say "How you doing," "I bet you can't wait to escape this busy place," whatever is warm and different. Keep your head up and look them in the eye. Do these two things every day of ever week and soon you we become the extrovert you want to become. As another poster says, practice. | |
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