| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 11/7/2006 2:13:18 AM | I recently copped a real bollocking for basically having the attitude that having just broken up with my lady that I just wanted to be on my own for a little while.(Being on the rebound as it were) Well anyway basically because of this I haven't been going out much lately.
Now I ask is it too much to be wanting some time out after a break up? | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 11/7/2006 2:40:16 AM | | Actually it is a very healthy and normal response! Being alone will give you time to evaluate what went wrong, what can be done differently,and give you a chance to decide what you really want. | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 11/7/2006 2:48:00 AM | I have taken time out after a break up too. I find it's a good time to reflect and re-group my self. Nothing wrong with taking some time to spend on your own. Why not? We're not such bad company eh? I'm doing it right now in fact. A step back never hurt anyone.  | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 11/7/2006 3:08:38 AM |
Now I ask is it too much to be wanting some time out after a break up? Absolutely not... take the time you need to be comfortable with yourself before embarking on another relationship...
Each person has their own views on dating... some think it's perfectly ok to jump back into it soon after one has ended and others want the *me* time... just do what is right for you. | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 11/7/2006 3:12:17 AM | it's a good thing actually. there are too many people that slide from one relationship to another just because they can't stand being alone. being with someone is wonderful because you can appreciate the time you are alone, too. We are adults, huh?
love is something to fall in, not something to do. take time. | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 11/7/2006 4:50:53 AM | Here is my problem....In between relationships. Alone...I like alone; but I want to get my relationship back....dont want to move on........know what I did wrong and want to fix it.....afraid I wont get the chance, know I probably shouldnt even bother, but my heart is with him....no one else....How do you throw 4 yrs down the drain.......
When I divorced my ex, I had no quelms about it....he wanted out I gave it to him.....this time not so easy....but this time no one wants out but we cant make it work....
Do I just go out and try to forget? Do I sit around wondering how I can fix it? Because I wont do any good just not doing either.... | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 11/17/2006 7:30:21 AM |
it's a good thing actually. there are too many people that slide from one relationship to another just because they can't stand being alone. being with someone is wonderful because you can appreciate the time you are alone, too. We are adults, huh?
love is something to fall in, not something to do. take time.
That's a very valid point you bring up there. I know there's probably people out there who can fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat. Well I cant do that. They keep talking about THE ONE. Well with this young lady I thought I'd found her and I mean as in the girl I'd pop the big Q to. Thing is I only ever want to do that once in my life. Thankfully there was no bitterness about it. | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 11/17/2006 10:02:36 AM | i have been split up with my ex wife for 7 months now and i am loving it on my own. dont get me wrong its a bit lonely goin to bed on your own but thats a sacrifice i am willing to take. it takes time to find someone really special........................why rush??????? just keep smiling  | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 11/21/2006 7:28:21 PM | | Yeah if you dont keep smiling you just plunge into a low state of mind. But I just dont want to be alone perminantly. | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 11/21/2006 7:48:03 PM |
But I just dont want to be alone perminantly
You won't be. You're 26, you've got a lot of years to live. You're going to come across tons of women. Women have liked you before, they will like you again. Don't permit your mind to fool you into thinking that the way things are today are the way things will always be. Uh huh. If anything, the way life works is: Things Change.
Use your alone time to enjoy yourself and grow as a person so that you're ready when "she" shows up on the scene. | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 11/21/2006 9:08:21 PM | Some people go through their life jumping from relationship to relationship, because they are afraid to be alone. Be thankful you don't have that issue.
I think when you are in a long term relationship, it slowly turns everything from a "me" into a "we". You become someone else to some degree, based on the needs of the relationship and the expectations of your significant other. Ever hear employers saying that they would rather get someone fresh out of college rather than a long-term employee of a competitor? It's because once someone gets into a routine of doing things a certain way, it may or may not fit the needs of the next employer. In this case, the employer is your next girlfriend.
It's healthy to be idle and get back to the person you were before your last relationship. Then when you meet the right girl, you're going into it fresh. | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 12/3/2006 5:46:03 AM |
Ever hear employers saying that they would rather get someone fresh out of college rather than a long-term employee of a competitor? It's because once someone gets into a routine of doing things a certain way, it may or may not fit the needs of the next employer. In this case, the employer is your next girlfriend.
That's an interesting way of putting it. Just like changing jobs when you first start your thinking to yourself will it be the same? How different will things be?
It's healthy to be idle and get back to the person you were before your last relationship. Then when you meet the right girl, you're going into it fresh.
Well I'm not that much different that I was before. She did help me change my mind about younger women though. | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 12/3/2006 7:44:43 AM | ian1980au.....I know exactly where your coming from mate. I left my ex 7 years ago, and STILL feel I need time to adjust. Some wounds take longer than other's I guess. That's Life.  | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 12/3/2006 8:10:35 AM | Nay, nothing wrong with having a little reflective time on your own after a break up. Some people need a few hours, a few days, a few weeks to get your thoughts back in order. Personally, I just need a night or two of good red wine and some kleenex and I'll be back in the saddle as they say....  | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 12/14/2006 5:35:14 PM |
I'm really sorry to hear that man. I hope your able to find somebody. Cuz it's gotta be hard for you to say the least. | |
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| In between relationship. Alone
Posted: 1/29/2007 4:44:46 AM | | Also talking of trying to move on. But is it just me or do women seem to move on faster than men. In my case each GF I've been with moved on within a few weeks of the break up, while I'm still on the scrap heap | |
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