| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/9/2006 10:42:06 AM | THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
No really I just had the pamphlet hand delivered to my door! It’s a world wide message and everything! (man….that’s a lot of pamphlets!)
I must share this vital news flash!!!!!!
“What is False Religion?”
“Are you distressed about crimes committed in the name of religion? Do the warfare, terrorism, and corruption perpetrated by those who claim to serve God offend your sense of justice?”
Does it really piss you off when homophobic religious leaders get caught having 3 year affairs with male hookers that they bought drugs for? Or religious leaders that go on television and claim they need a million dollars or God is gonna call them home?
(ok I added the last two – felt the pamphlet needed a little punching up; hey it’s all about sales baby!)
“How will false religion end?”
“Picture the scene. A harlot (false religion) is sitting on the back of a fearsome beast.”
Hey there!
“The beast has seven heads and ten horns.”
Now wait a minute…..this beast (leopard thing) has seven heads and 10 horns? Come on there’s gotta be a genetic principle under Darwin that says generally beasts with multiple heads will have an equal number of horns…and I’d bet it’d be an even number of heads to! Anyways….back to the harlot!
“She dresses in purple, uses incense, and is exceedingly wealthy.”
HEY! How you doin?!……ah, nah she’s a cat person.
“Soon though, an amazing event will take place. The ten horns that you saw, and the wild beast, these will hate the harlot and will make her devastated and naked,”
HEY NOW WE’RE TALKIN!
“and will eat up her fleshy parts.”
HEY NOW WE’RE TALKING R RATING!
“and will completely burn her with fire.”
And then there will be explosions and a big car chase scene with Bruce Willis trying to snare the beast thing!! Movie to be called Die Hardly My Ass!
“What must you do if you do not want to share the fate of false religion? Now is the time to flee!" (see ya!) "But to where? Not into atheism, since it’s future is also bleak.”
Now let’s pause a minute…..bleak? Just bleak? Doesn’t that sound like, well on the grand scheme of religious teachings that will save your immortal soul…atheism, while it has a future, it just really doesn’t look good, kinda sucks, ya might want to rethink….it’s really very bland. (I’m digressing again aren’t I?)
“How to identify true religion”
well isn’t it the one that delivers pamphlets door to door? Wait there’s a book…
“the book Holocaust Politics, says if more people practiced versions of what (insert name of said religious group) preach and practice, the Holocaust could have been prevented and genocide would scourge the world no more.”
If only they had pamphlets in the thirties.
I wonder if Jon Stewart knows about this?
Yea I know…I’m gonna have to smoke a turd in purgatory for this one; but it’s a slow news day.
My apologies if anyone’s sensibilities were offended…..I’m gonna go chase down the delivery people and see if they got more free stuff! | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/9/2006 11:21:51 AM | I read it and I want to sign up!! Which religion has the purple lady riding a pissed-off yak?? I got an offering check ready to mail right now!!!
P.S. Oh, hell, in retrospect, they might be talking about me. I wear purple and my Toyota might be considered a fearsome beast. It doesn't have ten horns, but I have been known to use its horn in traffic. I also admit to occasional use of incense -- but I don't inhale!!! | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/9/2006 11:42:42 AM | Yea, but I didn't want to offend. Offered for entertainment puposes only.
God has a sense of humour too....just look at the platapus. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/9/2006 3:44:16 PM | I got this one, too. More entertaining than the stuff they usually leave at my door.
atheism, while it has a future, it just really doesn’t look good, kinda sucks, ya might want to rethink….it’s really very bland
As bland as sitting on a cloud for eternity strumming a freakin' harp? I think not. Better oblivion than that. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/9/2006 4:25:16 PM | | I got the pamphlet too. I was surprised the lady didn't want to come in and discuss it like the Jehovah's used to do. I threw it out after I read it, I agreed with the Jehovah's when it mentionned today's politicans using religion to promote hate on the other side of the world. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/9/2006 6:40:03 PM | | I got one too, but, darn, I was doing a Costco run when they dropped it off. If I had known it would be so entertaining (thanks Barf Boy!) it wouldn't have gone straight to the recycle bin. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/9/2006 6:55:56 PM | Oh god has a sense of humor.....I mean c'mon....How else could you explain RuPaul and Courtney Love.......He has a wicked sense of humor as far as I am concerned....LOL....
Reminds me of my grandfather....in his 80's he would invite the Mormons in and then argue their religion with them......Never step into an old histroy teachers lair....lol....I think he enjoyed the sport of it all. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/9/2006 9:24:12 PM | They only come to my door if they don't know me. Twenty years ago, I was invited to attend one of their Sunday services. I behaved myself during the service, but afterward there was a little....... incident. They never invited me back, I never heard from that particular JW again, and none of them ever came to my door again until just recently.
Although many people lump them together, Mormons are a different story. I should know; I used to be one. Yes, been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I'd never go back, but it was what I needed at the time.
It's too bad that scruples always held me back from founding my own religion. There's good money to be had - and it would aid the world domination plans considerably. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/9/2006 11:41:43 PM | Like Ron Hubbard and Scientology?
He's doing well for starting a religion from pure fiction. Has a lot of celebrities endorsing it too. Not bad for a science fiction writer.
I don't believe in religion. Religion is man reaching out to find God or a god. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/10/2006 4:06:52 AM | I don't believe in religion. Religion is man reaching out to find God or a god.
Not to be disagreeable (moi?), but don't you really mean you "don't believe people should be followers of a religion", or you "don't believe in a supreme being of some kind"? Believe me, there are religions. ;) And if we aren't seeking/learning/exploring, aren't we just stagnating?
Extremes are what sadden/frighten me. Blind, bordering-on-fanatic followers of a religion that never question what it preaches, and never stop to listen to their own heart... those are one group of extremists.
And then there is the other extreme... those that believe in nothing, no curiousity about our creation, no thought to our inner spirit, no belief is anything, no attention paid to that small inner voice that one might think of as a soul.
I'm not a follower of any particular religion myself, only because none of them fit my particular beliefs, which are constantly evolving. But I do try to respect the beliefs of others... and as long as my 2 or 3 Jovy friends don't start shoving that pamphlet down my throat, I'm pretty easy to get along with. Thanks for the warning!  | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/10/2006 4:17:45 AM | What I mean is, I don't believe in a man made concoction of a belief system. Man's attempt to define their spirituality.
What I do believe in, is truth and truth is something that is always in front of us, yet most of us don't see it. It takes careful analysis or many things, challenges what we're taught and opens up whole new reality we otherwise wouldn't be aware of. The only way it can be differentiated from some sort of dillusion, is that its the only thing that adds up and has no holes. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/10/2006 2:44:48 PM |
It takes careful analysis or many things, challenges what we're taught and opens up whole new reality we otherwise wouldn't be aware of.
Sure, but how many will make that kind of effort? People go for the quick fix, the easy answer, and don't care if it's true as long as it makes them feel good and spares them the pain of thinking. Kurt Vonnegut suggested a church to be known as "The Church of God the Fairly Competent," in which members will tell comforting lies to one another. He meant it as a sarcastic comment on religion in general, but isn't that what all religion is based on? People prefer a comforting lie to a harsh truth, and that's the harsh truth. It's the truth that made "prophets" like L. Ron Hubbard and others possible.
Apocryphal story: At a science fiction convention, Hubbard was supposed to have said to another writer, "I've had it with busting my butt for three cents a word. I'm going to start my own religion and make more money than you ever dreamed of." And he did. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/10/2006 2:58:14 PM | Right.
Everyone seems to have an opinion on it, but so few of them have studied it enough, objectively, to really make a semi-informed opinion.
Yeah good old Ron... I've read up on Scientology. Wow. Its the weirdest religion out there. I would take a SciFi writer to be able to invent it. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/11/2006 6:02:13 AM | Objective study is the reason I (eventually) walked away from the church. From all churches.
Just a passing semantic whim..... if the title of this thread was "The End of ALL Religion is Near" it would mean the same thing. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/11/2006 3:05:27 PM | I was raised in a Catholic family,but like anyone else i just started beleiving in my own way,where is made sense to me,because there is alot of the bible or relegion alone That i do not understand no wish to understand,I feel as long as I repent for my sins and pray to him on my own time,and play nice with my life,I will be granted forever happiness.I feel reading on what men have sat arround and said what they think happened in a book is not really what I want,or stepping into gods house to pray and be judged by the person next to me because Im waearing my leather jacket.or I have a shaved hrad.
Also god said there shall be idols,but if we pray and like some relegions preach to every one they see(come get saved jesus will take you) what is the diffrence form me being home asking for forgivness or some dude who went to school and was told he understood the bible enoguht to tell peple about it.what makes him better then me on who will save me or not be saved.If god loves us for who we are and he is the creater as long as we beleive we are saved.perhaps IM to shallow but its my way of thinking and understanding the way of crist. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/12/2006 5:56:48 AM |
I want to start a religion based on eggs
If I start one, it will be based on chocolate. Imagine communion with chocolate milk and Oreos.... that alone should win me a few converts. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/12/2006 6:45:42 AM | How about you two join up and make it chocolate eggs? Then convert me first, please!
People I've known for years will ask me what religion I am, or if I'm a Christian, and I'll say I'm just a follower of my own beliefs, my main one being "Do no harm" (which, yes, I stole). And their eyes grow round, and they back up, and they nearly shriek as they exclaim "You're a WICCAN!!"
Um... no, I'm not. Unless you consider a belief in a similar credo, and believing somewhat that we have internal and earthly spirits that guide us through life... but many religions have similar beliefs. Why are people so fearful/mocking of other people's beliefs?
Yeesh... I haven't sacrificed a goat in my life. Although I do have a small basset hound who might not make it through the weekend, but that has nothing to do with religion. | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/12/2006 11:00:46 AM | I hear ya, Heckcat; I get the same thing all the time. "An it harm none, do as ye will" is my creed (love the juxtaposition of absolute responsibility and absolute liberty), but that doesn't make me Wiccan, as most people assume. Some of my beliefs are similar to Buddhism, and some are even influenced by christianity, and so what? It's still mine.
Since Ophelia wants Easter to replace Xmas, I think chocolate eggs would fit in very well. All we need is a feel-good doctrine (I'm working on that), a charismatic, well-spoken front man (hey Fauz, you busy?), and a pile of money (oh-oh) for startup costs, and we're in business.
I'm not sure, but I think it was Robert Heinlein who said, "Praise the Lord and pass the collection plate!" | |
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| THE END OF FALSE RELIGION IS NEAR!!!!
Posted: 11/12/2006 6:19:39 PM | Our symbol (and sacrament) is the Cadbury creme egg, we worship on Tuesday evenings for 20 minutes, the day of the Super Bowl is considered a holy day, and God resembles a fuzzy bunny who lays the eggs.
Oh yes, and peace and love to all, and all that kinda crap. Except of course for those heretics who don't believe as we do. Blasphemers!  | |
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