| "So, why aren't you dating anyone?"
Posted: 11/13/2006 12:44:05 PM | Can we take a minute to talk about this question? Does anyone else hate it?
To me, this question is directly related to Family Reunions. Man...I love my family to pieces, but if I had a quarter for every time I was asked why I wasn't dating someone while attending a family function, I'd be able to pay off a significant part of my student loans. 
Seriously though...Its puts me in such an awkward situation, and I feel like I'm making up excuses...(I'm focusing on school right now, I'm busy with my internship/clubs/volunteering, It's not the right time for me, There's no one my age that I'm interested in...etc.) I hate feeling like I'm almost apologizing to THEM for not dating! It's even funnier that my "excuses" are generally my real reasons, and not avoidance tactics...
Oh yeah...I also love it when people tell me I WOULD be able to date someone if I "lowered my standards". HA!
So, lets talk about why YOU aren't dating anyone! | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 12:57:43 PM | NO! I don't wanna talk about it!!
I usually tell them that I just have terrible taste in women and
no longer trust myself to pick one out!
The truth of the matter is.......I just havn't found the person that
I want to date....and also wants to date me......I mean long term
anyways......I do go on a date or two every now and then! I don't
enjoy "dating", I'm not good at all at "the game", I don't like to
approach strangers or "hit on" women, and because I don't do much
socially I don't meet a lot of new people. I guess when you get right
down to it.......I havn't made it enough of a priority in my life.
THERE.....I said it.....it's all my fault, I'm too picky, I'm not trying
hard enough, I'm not "getting out there"! Happy now???
  (mooning smiley) <----since they don't have one | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 1:03:00 PM | Very happy :)
Thanks so much for your imput...and I agree with your reasoning! Its all about the way things are prioritized...and what is more important will fluctuate at different times. (Hence my "excuses" of school, internships, clubs, etc.)
Good luck - you seem like a great guy! | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 1:04:17 PM | Question: So, why aren't you dating anyone?
My typical answer: I'm defective. One leg's longer than the other. They won't have me.
^ Usually puts an end to that discussion. | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 1:12:40 PM | | Don't worry about them, you will find the right person one day...and your family, they mean well. I have had my share of this too. | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 1:13:50 PM |
Oh yeah...I also love it when people tell me I WOULD be able to date someone if I "lowered my standards". HA!
HA! is right. Forget that. I've been told the same thing. No way. I am single for a reason, because I know what works for me, but more importantly, I know what won't work for me. I've learned to answer family with obvious avoidance. After a while, they quit asking.
Kat  | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 1:19:41 PM | Ha ha ha - sorry, a bit off topic here, and I haven't come up with any good answers to the question, but it reminded me of a friend from years back ...
She had not long since given birth to child #1 - and within no time family and friends were asking her and her hubby "So - when's the next one due?" She got so fed up with it she started telling people they weren't able to have any more, just to shut them up. It worked too - word spread, and soon people just looked at them sadly and kept their mouths shut.
So, I'll have to check back here and see what hilarious answers have been given to such a redundant - and downright rude - question.
 | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 1:25:24 PM | | I usually just reply by saying that I am waiting for one of my cousins to give in to my requests... hehe. (works real well if you hold a straight face and really act serious about the responce) | |
|
| |
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 1:41:48 PM | | I just haven't found the right guy to date seriously yet... I could be guilty like some of you though in making excuses, not putting myself out there properly...maybe I'm just too damn set in my ways...hell if I know! LOL | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 1:46:37 PM |
So, lets talk about why YOU aren't dating anyone!
I recently discovered I was gay. And I've known all along that I'm homophobic so that's why I don't have a boyfriend(or girlfriend, in your case).
If you can manage to keep a straight face while saying it, it should shut them up for a while. | |
|
ya472
|
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 12 | |
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 1:52:58 PM | People who want and desire to have children, cannot understand people who choose not to have children.
Same with dating, relationships, new cars, homes, X-Box, or new shoes, what is desirable for one is often not practical or desirable for another.
Who cares !
 | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 1:57:27 PM | | They no longer ask me and I do not volunteer details of my love life to all my family - only a select few who remain positive, can offer constructive advice and do not nag me about it. | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 2:03:03 PM | burkeyquirky...Good question!
First of all, whats a date? Secondly, no memory of dating. Thirdly, I don't want to date just "anyone". And finally I don't like that word...date. I want to do some good times with a person I like and who likes me.
I have been asked and it is uncomfortable...like "what is up with you anyway?" I usually respond, why do I need to be dating someone? I'll go on to say I am happy why ruin a good thing?
The question insinuates there is something wrong...with me. And granted I have issues but having a date is not one of them...thank God! Like I have to be with a man to be a whole person. I have lied to counterattack the "O ok nobody wants you...thats it huh." look.  | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 2:05:39 PM | burkey:
So, lets talk about why YOU aren't dating anyone!
You know, a few times a year I go through a phase where I feel like it'd be great to be with someone and be in love and all that great stuff. So, I start contacting women, go on a few dates and that sort of thing.
Invariably, it just gets tedious, it's expensive and it's time consuming. There is little payoff besides sex.
I like who I am. I like my space. I don't want to be in relationship just because I can be in a relationship.
So, I end up doing whatever the hell I like. If I meet someone someday, great. If not? I've saved a whack of money and enjoyed myself anyway.
Cheers.
 | |
|
ernb
|
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 16 | |
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 2:21:01 PM | | OP...I hear it all the time too, but the one thing you didn't mention was when they add "what's wrong with you?" That's the question I hate the most, and I get quite pi$$ed off about it enough that I choose not to answer rather than tell them to go do something to themselves that is anatomically impossible, if you get my drift. Why does there have to be something wrong with you if you are not with anyone...some of us are doing quite nicely on our own, thank you very much. | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 2:39:36 PM | Ya know, that is a good question. I guess I am one of the lucky ones, my family doesn't ask those things. If I was dating or "seeing" some one of significance.....they just assume I'd let them know. If I say nothing, they say nothing.
I get it more from friends. Last time I was asked, I just looked my friend straight in the eye and said........." I think I'm turning Gay"......kept a straight face and all. She has since never asked me again............LMAO Like many have said.....It's damned annoying. I am NOT defective, nothing is wrong with me, and I don't think I need to defend myself as to why I am NOT "seeing" or dating some one specific. None of their business far as I am concerned. I just figure IF and when I am "seeing" some one.........I can tell them then. Don't need to be asked every bloody week that for sure. oh such is life........... | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 2:47:01 PM | | OP, I think 22 is too young an age to feel defensive at family reunions..I think the family members who ask you that are bored, and are hoping for some vicarious thrills, and are just teasing you (teasing is the way many people get their kicks at family reunions). I agree with the other posters that I would probably say something so outrageous that the questioning would be stopped immediately... | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 2:48:58 PM | My answer to that is usually "Because I have standards."
That usually shuts them up because you can't really argue with that. | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 2:50:17 PM | I don't have any of my relatives ask me why I am not dating, but a lot of the people I work with are always asking me why I am not dating anyone.
It isn't that I don't want to(ok, I really don't but it seems it is the only way to get to where I want to be), but so far the ones that ask me out, I am not interested in at all.
The ones I am interested in never ask, and no I am not asking them!!! | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 2:54:36 PM | | i hear ya. my family pesters me about my lack of a relationship........as to the reason i am not dating: well i guess i am not very good at it. lol | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 3:00:35 PM | It's not in my nature to follow silly laws, but to break them. That especially goes for the laws of attraction.
I have recently realized stressing over loneliness makes being alone less fun. So, now I am just trying to win the lottery. Women will follow once I achieve that more reachable goal. If not, I'll buy really cool shit and wave it in their face while they slave at their jobs.
| |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 3:05:21 PM | It basically comes down to this..........
I'm not interested in the men who show interest in me and the men that I'm interest in don't even know I exist as wave a flag at them! hahahhaa
With all the "reasons" or "excuses" as posted, I'm in school, havn't meet the right person, too picky, etc....
I've accepted the fact that I'm single, I'm the real Briget Jones....
Thanks for reading and good luck
Cheers! | |
|
ksue44
|
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 24 | |
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 3:07:22 PM | OP - I wouldn't sweat the small stuff about family asking why you have this and that in your life or even if you don't have it. It's your life not theirs. When they offer to pay your bills, then perhaps family has the right to ask questions. There's a bit of busy bodies asking questions, then there are those who really want you to have the best in your life. You do what's right for you.
Your question brought back memories of why I hadn't remarried. I've been divorced since 1987 at the ripe young age of 31. A couple of years after the big "D" my Mom asked me when I'd get married again. I told her the only way I would is when I get to wear a black and white tuxedo to the wedding and could look like a penguin! Hmm, they've quit asking!
It's kind of like when I was married, we'd be asked if we could have kids. My response was "I want us to live like Ma & Pa Kettle, have a 30 acre farm, I could stay home and raise our 12 kids". To watch people's eyes get huge, it was totally priceless! Have fun with their questions, after awhile, they'll get the point. | |
|
| So, why aren't you dating anyone?
Posted: 11/13/2006 3:13:36 PM | My relatives used to say to me after my divorce:"you need to find a nice woman" and I would say "I thought I did but she turned out to be Satan"... now they don't say anything and accept it.
It sucks not having a companion to share the holidays with but I guess I will find joy in a bottle
signed,
Mr.Sunshine | |
|
Home
login 
