| my thoughts and images
Posted: 11/14/2006 11:30:12 AM | Hockey in the park
We played hockey in the small park around the corner from our apartment. I had nicknamed our place the NBF (Nothing But Fun) Apartment two years ago in an effort to soften the blow of his mom and I separating. He was in tears the day I broke the news to him until I mentioned the benefits of an all boy’s house, posters of sports teams in the living room, hockey and dodge ball throughout the place, eating wherever we liked – even in front of the TV. The tears didn’t stop for long, of course, but they were never as strong as that first day.
The park sits alongside a river that hugs our place and that we often stare at from our large living room bay window. It was there that he was silent for a little too long one night. “What’s wrong?” I asked but sensed the answer. “I wish you and mom would get back together…” “Listen,” I replied softly, “Your mom is much happier and I am much happier.” We had pride in ourselves at how well we were cooperating with one another and that we had remained friends, anything to make it easier on him. “Yes, but I am not happier,” he muttered as a matter of fact and without emotion. For only this, there was no reply; no hug to give or ball to throw him that would bring a smile.
The weather was brisk but comfortable on this Friday night and the ice was all ours. No work or school the next day and not a single other skater now. The park provided us the perfect amount of light, two old streetlights and nearby cozy porches lit up the early evening, two “real” nets and not a cloud in the sky. My son was rosy cheeked and eager to show his dad a few things.
An hour passed and we collapsed at centre ice, gloriously spent. Breathe pouring out of us like dragon smoke, we lay on our backs and gazed at the stars, hundreds of them twinkling down at us. Spreading our legs, we practiced making snow angels. I don’t know if too many intermissions in the NHL are spent contemplating the cosmos but that is what we did. It seemed very natural and I wondered how many people had looked at the sky here in this park and discussed eternity. I asked my son, “What do you think is on the other side of those stars, buddy? Where do you think all that blackness ends?” Not giving it much thought, he returned the question, expecting me to give him an answer. “Offsides is when…Gretzky was the greatest…Boston is my second favourite team…”
“No one really knows…We can only guess.” And he looked at me and sensed I, nor anyone else, really knew .His opinion was as valid as anyone else’s and he offered it to me, for free. A gift more valuable than he will ever know. We lay there talking, quietly, two dragons. Until enough heat had left the two of us and he again moved me to action.
Game two in a lifelong playoff series was about to begin. A son who makes his dad skate a little faster every year in order to lose to him 10-9. A dad noticing that his boy was really beginning to understand hockey, and who was surprised by other thoughts he was now capable of. I would indeed, I noted, have to learn to skate faster for him. The sounds of our excited shouts and laughter echoed from the ice and were carried by the river past NBF into the night. | |
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| my thoughts and images
Posted: 11/14/2006 11:45:21 AM | | Very nicely done. It's too bad that children get hurt when going through a divorce, but happy parents are better capable of better parenting. That's my opinion anyhow. | |
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| my thoughts and images
Posted: 12/13/2006 11:10:27 PM | my son received his first long hug
last week from a girl at ten
i was not certain exactly
what a 'long hug' was but
i am certain it was
not his idea
though
i have noticed him recently
tied to a string
by the shy smiles of those
in pink formerly shunned
but he seemed to enjoy it,
looked no worse for the
experience
and i hope his luck continues
----------------------------
"when did you get your first long hug dad"
grade six (i lie, but aware of where we are going)
"i'm i grade five"
then you better slow down romeo (i tease)
and you better not tell mom
"why"
she will be jealous that girls are hugging her boy
"yeah right"
(yes.right.)
---------------------------
we kind of laugh like old friends
but not yet i think
not yet
not yet my little romeo
and i am jealous too
so i grab him and get my long hug
one of us
it is safe to say
really enjoyed it
really needed it
the other looked around
and then
seeing we were alone
i think he enjoyed it too
perhaps needing it
a little less | |
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| my thoughts and images
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:14:13 PM | It was June. How fitting. Sun dress and summer suit weather. A fine day, and a fine wedding under the canopy of sprawling cottage and manicured lawns with the forest wrapping us all like a big green blanket.
The water crept up to the shore, almost peeking in at the hundred or so guests. We all were familiar with each other and the conversation and drinks flowed freely.
My date and I had reached that third or fourth date threshold with anticipation and the kind of giddiness reserved for teenagers. And we were beginners , really, both of us stung by pasts of failed relationships and the confusion of finding ourselves single and wide eyed once again.
We had yet to make love, but I had felt her body next to mine twice before on good night kisses that lasted a little too long, perhaps a little too short. Long enough for her to fell me too, growing with the promise of having more time. With the promise that the time might soon be right. We had a room at a little bed and breakfast and even though we had discussed sleeping arrangements before embarking; she flirted with me upon entering, "Where's my bed?"
The anticipation we were both feeling and the beautiful setting made every minute of the night ones we wanted to experience. Watching her dance on the wooden floor under the tent made me glow with happiness. Her legs in her flower printed white dress were strong yet feminine, reminders of her tales of university volleyball and her on and off training for the 10K run she wanted to get to "one day soon". Her brunette hair, usually very business like and tidy was flowing freely, just past her shoulders, tanned and glowing in the little strings of yellow lights.
"Lets take a little walk, I need a ten minute break, do you mind, me taking you away from your friends for a bit?" she asked so sweetly I would have robbed a bank for her if she was asking that.
"Of course not, my head is a little fuzzy, and these stars tonight deserve to be looked at." Did I really just say that? Was I really this goofy? She didn't mind. In fact, she agreed, kicked off her black shoes, held them in one hand and teased, "Get me my drink, mister."
"Taking in the night! " I called out to everyone and to no one and we slipped out of the tent and onto the lawn, and then to the cool sand. We tossed our shoes to the grass and gently we entwined fingers. After four or five minutes of silence the lights and echoes of voices seemed to blend into the crickets and sounds of the waves whispering onto the beach.
"Having a good time?" I already knew the answer.
It was an interesting question, nonetheless. Failed relationships take their toll on many people and for us, there were children and other loved ones that, even while we were hurting, we had to make sure were Ok.
For ourselves, we rebelled against the loss by searching for personal endorsements from relative strangers. In the months that followed my break up, I had had three lovers, she two. We wanted more than physical affirmations of our worth however, and this lifestyle slowly lost its appeal. Unhappy buddies continued to search the bars for the “one”.
I preferred to find myself. To get my feet under me. To find out what makes me tick , and what I want from a partner. And, we both worked so damned hard. Hours at the office followed by housework and weekends filled with children and drop offs, movie nights at home became our sanctuary.
And then. Her. Exploding, really, into my life. A simple call from an old friend, she was thinking I might be perfect for a friend of hers, an accountant. “Hmmmmmm, an accountant, sounds wonderful, does she come with her own abacus? Come on Jill you know I am an artsy kind of guy.”
“Don’t be such a goof all your life, she is hot. Dare I say too hot for you.”
And, she was. Gorgeous, I would say though, not hot. Not yet, but I was curious; just how far down would she let her hair?
Our room beckoned, only a few more hours, and it would be one am. Time then, to head back to our fireplace, our sunken tub, our king sized bed…
“Just check this old tree out!” she exclaimed, “ I think it is trying to say something to me.”
“Really, and what is it saying?”
“Let me check, it doesn’t want you to hear.” She teased and pressed her ear to the big old oak.
“You won’t believe this…he says you should take me.”
“ Take you where?”
“Take me.”
And with that she turned and pressed herself, facing me, against the tree. One moment, then another. My mouth kind of opened, but I stepped towards her and, without saying anything, took her by both hands and slowly turned her around.
Lifting her hair, I pressed my breath against the back of her neck, my lips hesitating just above her skin. As I breathed slowly on her I whispered, “You smell nice, I have wanted to be this close to your neck all night.”
Placing both hands on the tree, she arched her head. I kissed her, softly, then rougher, my hands sliding up her bare arms, then tracing back down harder and slower. I was in no rush, savoring the taste of her sweat and perfume and the natural smell of the summer night. Her dress was cut low, almost to the tip of her cheeks and I kissed her down her spine. She was tensing for me, enjoying my enjoyment. I kept whispering “ I have wanted this…”
When I finally lifted her dress and exposed her thighs to the night, she turned to face me and rubbed her fingers through my hair. “Pull my panties down.” She said firmly.
Her neatly trimmed hair and butterfly vagina opened for me as I was guided to her. Not wanting to enter her, I kissed her form side to side and down her leg. I could feel her wetness and taste her desire. Finding her clitoris, it was like we French kissed for the first time. Faster and slowly, faster and slowly. My hands firmly fondling her ass and sliding up and down her back and legs. She offered no direction verbally but her breathing and hands told me what I needed to know.
Her orgasm was long and I felt it begin from her fingertips and end at her toes. She was in control of the tempo and when my tongue finally became too much for her she pushed me softly away.
“You’ve done that before.”
“Yes, but not like that, not with you, not with us.”
Standing up as she got down. “No.” I said, and lifted her to me, kissing her full on the lips. “I just want you.” | |
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| my thoughts and images
Posted: 2/21/2007 8:30:00 AM | | Thank you first for weaving these beautiful tale, but mostly, for sharing them. Don't ever give up on writing. | |
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| my thoughts and images
Posted: 2/22/2007 7:08:29 PM | | Thank you for leaving your words behind - lovely stories and poems written with heart. | |
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| my thoughts and images
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:33:58 AM | .
Maybe we have to meet a few wrong
people before meeting the right one so
that when we finally meet the right
person, we will know how to be
grateful for that gift.
When the door of happiness closes,
another opens, but often times we look
so long at the closed door that we
don't see the one which has been opened
for us.
The best kind of friend is the kind
you can sit on a porch and swing with,
never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best
conversation you've ever had.
It's true that we don't know what
we've got until we lose it, but it's
also true that we don't know what we've
been missing until it arrives.
Giving someone all your love is never
an assurance that they'll love you
back! Don't expect love in return; just
wait for it to grow in their heart but
if it doesn't, be content it grew in
yours.
It takes only a minute to get a
crush on someone, an hour to like
someone, and a day to love someone, but
it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades
away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright. Find the
one that makes your heart smile
There are moments in life when you
miss someone so much that you just want
to pick them from your dreams and hug
them for real!
Dream what you want to dream; go
where you want to go; be what you want
to be, because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things you
want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make
you sweet, enough trials to make you
strong, enough sorrow to keep you
human, enough hope to make you happy.
Always put yourself in others' shoes.
If you feel that it hurts you, it
probably hurts the other person, too.
The happiest of people don't
necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
Happiness lives for those who cry,
those who hurt, those who have
searched, and those who have tried, for
only they can appreciate the importance
of people who have touched their lives.
Love begins with a smile, grows with a
kiss and ends with a tear. The
brightest future will always be based
on a forgotten past, you can't go on
well in life until you let go of your
past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so that when you die,
you're the one who is smiling and
everyone around you is crying. | |
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| my thoughts and images
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:09:22 PM | | How very 'profound' and 'true'. Clearly you are not merely a motorcycle lover. | |
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