| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/16/2006 8:38:47 PM | | I have been in constant touch with a woman who I really like. She emails me 2-3 times a day. She seems to like me too. She is very religious and I made the mistake of telling her I'm down on religion right now because of a streak of bad luck. She responded by saying she can't date me but we can stay friends. Is she wrong by saying that? How can I get her to date me without becoming a priest? | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/16/2006 8:58:06 PM | Let her Save You...that oughta work!
Seriously though...would you really want to date a woman who is so religious and you obviously aren't at all? I can understand a few small differences not making a difference but this is kind of a biggie to a lot of people....unless you're prepared to accept her religion and all of it's offerings..I wouldn't even bother...
That'd be like a body builder dating a couch potato...or a cop dating a person in jail..you're just asking for it.... | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:07:20 PM | | organized religeon is packed with non-christian people. a lot of people assume that if you go to church you are a christian. not true! many people who go to church go to free themselves of guilt or to look like a good person. it's your free will to decide weather or not to be a christian. it's your choice weather or not to go to church. personally, i believe in God, but i wouldn't judge someone else because they did not. for one thing, the bible says not to! but it also says not to be involved in people who are against God. (like cross-burners and mass-murderers) anyway, she should appreciate the fact that even though you are not christian, you are really into her! it's not often that a guy will stick around once a chick mentions God. unless he is christian also. i think that she should have at least given you a chance. who knows, as sarcastically said, 'she might change you'... but that is her mission, right? dont involve yourself in something you don't believe in just to make someone else happy, you'll be miserable and gain nothing. i think she should give you a chance and maybe after a while of dating, then decide. because you may change your mind, too. i say everything is worth living once! | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:29:13 PM | | First, never trust a girl from Michigan...GO BUCKS!!!! I have to disagree as I've been down this road before myself. Religion is a very important part of the "majority" of the people living on Earth. It's suffice to say we all share different beliefs(ie Christian, Muslium, Hindu, Judiasm, whatever) However, it doesn't change the fact that those who have a belief in something do so for a reason. I was born and raised Catholic yet I don't agree with everything of the Catholic faith. On the other hand I think that a person should take a firm stance on something and defend there beilief(s). So in my case I still call myself a Catholic. That's what people of good character do. Lets assume for the moment that this girl is of good character...she therefore should have a problem with your lack of religion. I'm not saying she should judge you for it but at the same time she has a legitimate reason not to date you. In the end if your truly down on God or whoever you used to believe your higher being was then maybe she's in your life to bring you back. If you'll never share the same religous beliefs as she does it could result in a great deal of heart ache down the road. | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:39:51 PM |  you have to respect her wishes, obviously religion is very important to her and she is not willing to share her life with someone who does not share her beliefs. Hang in there and be a friend, she could change her mind. | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:52:05 PM | | JNdrummer, I read your profile and you seem like a pretty good guy. I think you are smitten with this woman. You are looking for a way to get her to date you without becoming a priest (your words). This is a lack of respect for her as a person so you really do not deserve to date her. As you do not share common interests I take it your interest stems from lust. If this person means anything besides that to you, you will accept her offer of friendship. | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/17/2006 4:08:59 AM | If this girl bases her life on her religion, then that would be a major issue for her. You didn't mention how involved or dedicated she is - but equal "yoking" can definitey be an complication. There would be a day-to-day living problem as far as interests go, because you would be living a totally different lifestyle.
By staying friends with you, I would say she respects you and possibly hopes that you can reach some common ground in the future. Stay friends with her and see which way the wind blows. Sands do shift sometimes. Best of luck to you!
Goldi | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/17/2006 5:56:34 AM | | If belief in God is at the core of her person, governs their actions, etc., then of course she wouldn't want to be with someone that didn't understand and share that belief. What I'm curious about is if it's a deal breaker for her, why she didn't bring it up earlier. Nevertheless, she doesn't want to be w/someone who doesn't share her way of life, and you have to respect that, even though you don't like it. | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/17/2006 6:10:21 AM | | Yes, to some their faith and religion is the most important thing in their lives. Having someone around telling them how stupid their beliefs are wouldn't work that well. | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/17/2006 10:24:33 AM | I don't think she is wrong for saying she cannot date
you because of religious reasons. Her faith is very
important to her, and I am sure she would only date someone
of her faith, and who would go to church with her, etc.
It is better you found this out now, then to get together and
find out you cannot stand each other because of the seriousness
or her faith and lack of your's. | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/17/2006 12:07:46 PM | | At least she enjoys conversing with you. I've run across one example where since I'm not a deacon or the like I was deemed unsuitable. So it can even be a barrier between otherwise like minded persons which surprised me a bit. | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/17/2006 12:25:28 PM | | It's not an "is she wrong or am I wrong" issue... it's what's important to her and she is being upfront and honest about that. I say have an open and honest discussion on the entire issue, and if you can't come to an aggreeable middle ground and it's a deal breaker for her, then it is what it is. Best of luck. | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/17/2006 12:26:54 PM | I'm non-religious, too and wouldn't date a man who's religious, because it just wouldn't work. Maverick spirituality - Yes! Organized religion - No! This is one area where two people have to be pretty much on the same page or a relationship won't work. So, let her go.
Ninki | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/17/2006 1:13:59 PM | | I don't really remember what it's like believing in god, it was so long ago. But I do remember that it was a different viewpoint on life, and for those who truly believe, I can understand why she can't see anything between you two. I know some very nice very religious people, and there are so many references to how god affects their life during any given day that it would drive me nuts. So I can kind of understand the reverse. It really depends on each person; but if she says she's not interested, I'd respect her wishes. If you do believe in god, and at the moment are just having a brief excursion away from religion, perhaps see if she'll invite you to her church and maybe you'll find your way back to being comfortable with it. | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/17/2006 1:14:46 PM | You say you are down on religion "right now" - you don't say whether or not this is the way it has always been - if you have emailed each other two to three times a day, I would think by now you would have established certain things - like faith.
As Dreamboat says, bad luck doesn't stem from God. Bad luck is just that - bad luck - it has nothing to do with God. We make our own choices and sometimes they are the wrong ones.
If you are normally a religious person, that is fine - but otherwise, try to understand her perspective. I do have friends that in their dating days, would never have considered dating men that didn't have the same beliefs they do. One of them is so glad she stuck to her guns - it is very rewarding to be able to share your faith. The other - well, her hubby is currently studying with JWs so she is pretty upset as she is christian - this has become a real bone of contention - you really do need to be equally yoked - it is important to the one who is serious about their faith. | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/17/2006 1:28:48 PM | | Someone who has strong religious convictions will often be opposed to being in a relationship with someone who is not religious. I can't say she is wrong for turning you away for this reason. It's going to happen. For some it's not that different than saying you won't see someone who does drugs or drinks. | |
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| Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down?
Posted: 11/17/2006 1:29:35 PM | | First of all, JWs are Christian---they believe in Christ Jesus. I would say to move on because there are too many differences between one who is extremely devout and one who is non-religious.......The possibility of friendship could work if neither one tries to wiggle their way back into a romantic relationship----hard to do if there was sex already in the picture. | |
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