| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 11/25/2006 10:05:23 AM | i was thinking the guy i've been seeing for a year is bi polar, but a well informed member of pof clued me into that he is probably suffering frim borderline personality disporder.
i looked it up on NIMH and it sounded pretty accurate as to what his bizzare behavior is about.
i dislike labels in general, and the approach of medications as being the answer, so was curious if anyone had any experiences to share on the subject. | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 11/25/2006 10:18:55 AM | a professional must diagnose bi-polar disorder
not you, or "well-informed" members of POF,
and it is not a "label' it is a actual illness.
.........and a thread search turns up tons of threads on it | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 11/25/2006 10:30:25 AM | i typed it in and nothing came up
but thank you for the links even if it did come with a shitty and judgmental attitude.
i understand it is a disease, but my approach to diseases has a wider base than just psychology and western medicine viewpoints. | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 11/25/2006 10:34:55 AM | I found this one, but there's not a whole lot there.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1078702.aspx
Edit: Here's a link to a message board on an external site that deals with it:
http://www.bpdcentral.com/nookboard/
Good luck! | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 11/25/2006 10:47:14 AM | I am in my last year of psychiatric nursing.I know about borderline personality due to school, but also because of personal experiences with someone very close to me. I could read the criteria out of the DSM IV, but so could you.
These people are unable to have a stable relationship. They see you as either all good, or all bad (when you disappoint them). They will tell you that only you understand them. They have an innate ability to make you feel guilty and responsible for their existence. They are extremely personable, but highly unstable and often make frequent suicide attempts. Drugs and alcohol are usually a problem as well in order for them to numb out to their intense feelings...
If you want to know more, just email me. | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 3/30/2007 7:47:47 AM | How can I help the BP in my life?
Explain all the logal reasons for the BP doing what you want/don't want. Repeat.
Explain all the emotional reasons for doing so. Repeat.
Make threats for the hundredth time. Do not carry them out. Do it again.
Pay no attention to your own life. Fixing the BP is what matters. Then you will be happy.
Wait for a miracle to develop in its own without clinical intervention. You never know.
Ignore behaviour you find totally unacceptable. A person like you wouldn't love someone capable of this, so it can't really be happening.
Keep changing yourself according to the BPs wants and needs until you make them happy. If they are unhappy you must not have changed yourself in the right way. Try again. Repeat.
Stop asking for anything in the relationship. Stop talking. Don't let the BP know what you think. This will avoid a variety of fights and work in the long term.
Remember, no one will ever love you as much as the BP. They have demonstrated their love repeatedly. And no matter what they do, they are not responsible for their behaviour (after all, they have Borderline Personality Disorder). No one will ever love them as much as you do or be able to change them and make them happy.
Seek professional help from people who know less about BPD than you do. Do what they say even if your intuition tells you it is the wrong thing.
When your friends and family all tell y0u the same thing about how negatively they see the relationship and how worried they are, ignore them. They don't understand how wonderful the BP really is and how great the relationship can be. Don't try to remember the last time it was like that.
Never question the essential rule of the relationship: the BPs needs are more important than yours, or even those of your children. It is your responsibility to make things work and your fault if they don't.
..... etc.
Source: bpdcentral.com/resources/library | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 3/30/2007 8:06:58 AM | | It may help you to understand this issue to say it slowly with special emphasis on the Personality DISORDER. Bizzare is an understatment but if your the type that likes roller coaster rides as a daily thing in your relationship, it could work. | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 3/30/2007 11:53:46 AM | | My experience is that it's a serious psychological problem -- potentially psychiatric, and I don't have any answers in regards to how to tolerate someone with such a problem. I know of no good solutions. | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 3/30/2007 12:09:04 PM | Im going to start pretending to have tourettes syndrome.So that I can cuss in wholly inappropriate social settings.
**** **** SUCK A DIK !!! WHORE WHORE ! Just practising. :D
Ummm reverend U are kinda scary  Jack  Whos winning dood ?
Ummm thread related.U should really recommend professional help 2 your friend.And/or get a stungun.Cuz their deal sounds kinda freaky.Plus U never know.When U might need a good stungun :D  | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 3/30/2007 1:39:26 PM | I do have some information which might help you in regards to your boyfriend. However, like other people have stated, the only one who can correctly diagnose your boyfriend is a professional.
BPD affects about 10% of the population and unfortunately it is one of the most difficult and troubling problems in all of psychiatry.
A person who has BPD shows a wide range of impulsive behaviours, particularly those that are self destructive. They are highly unstable emotionally and develop wide mood swings in response to stressful events. People with this disorder often feel abandoned and alone.
I could go on and on including the treatment for people who suffer from BPD but I don't want to write a novel on here and/or put everyone to sleep. If you would like any more information please email me and I can share what I know with you.
Just a note to those who are curious, I did research into BPD to decide if it was a speciality I wanted to get into when getting my Masters degree in Clinical Psychology.
Good luck to you! | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 3/30/2007 2:11:11 PM | Since you did not include anything that he,s done, it leaves little to comment on.
If his behavior has changed recently, it could be because yours has to.... discussing something like this with friends and people online is very disrespectful to him....at the very least you,ve shown me that you have no consideration for him. | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 3/30/2007 2:25:11 PM | I have worked in mental health for 10 years
Bi-Polar means Manic Depression and have looked after many clients who have been caring and lovely and have held down relationships and full time employment.
Its a illness that can be treated by medication mainly lithium.
Lithium controls moods so the manic periods and depressed periods are not severe and in some people disappear.
I dont understand sometimes why some people are so ignorant to people with a mental health illness afterall 1 in 4 suffer from depression at sometime if their life.
Its a very thin line............ | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 3/30/2007 2:41:51 PM | I'm a mental health professional. People with Borderline Personality Disorder are difficult to treat, live with, understand. I wouldn't take the word of a well informed POF member about someone's diagnosis. It takes an experienced clinician to evaluate someone face to face to make that diagnosis.
Bipolar disorder and BPD are very different disorders, but can have similar symptoms.
BPD occurs much more commonly in women, tho not impossible for a man to have it, it's less likely. | |
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lorie1
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Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 17 | |
| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 3/30/2007 2:49:03 PM | Hi,You might try googling up on the subject.
As far as I know,it is what happens to persons that have deep issues,and havent recieved help for them.It accounts for real moodiness,and what seems like they have different personalities,or,dont seem to relate to you,in a way that is consistant.
If I were you,I would not see this person ,you will be in for alot of stress. | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:18:09 PM | Bang on right on your observations- I am in year 3 of recovery from a 5 year relationship with a nurse with the disorder.. It took me quite a long time to assess the root problem, and when I finally did hit on the symptoms of BPD, she had nearly every one.. Splitting, dishonesty, risk taking, gambling, and most of all an inability to visualize responsibility- a real peter pan syndrome down deep. In my opinion these personality types appear to be so seemingly well adjusted and able to mask the deficiencies in a superficial manner with everyone else in their lives, no one sees the problem in toto.
But if someone is actually trying to build a healthy relationship it is impossible. I kept the final letter she left as a reminder- you just can't change the spots on this type of problem- love won't do it, and the damage they do to people who are close is very destructive.. live and learn, hopefully.. | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:22:43 PM | if you think the person actually has the medical condition called borderline personality disorder, you need to refer to a professional. one good place to get info is the Merck manual of diagnosis and therapy (it's online, look it up). that'll give you some idea of personality disorders and their traits.. but again, a mental health professional is the person you need to ask for advice.
i was raised by someone who has strong traits of both histrionic personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. the personality disorders are much more complex than people realize, DO NOT take the word of an PoFer, go to the professionals. | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:17:59 AM | One difficult aspect of being close to someone with BPD is that the victim may refuse to see a professional. This happened in my case, my former SO became terrified whenever seeing a psychologist was brought up and made all kinds of lateral movements to prevent it from happening. Most of us tend to shun the labels such as BPD, so I spent years seeking the magic key to a stable relationship that just did not happen. A trained professional can pick these types out of a crowd, however. My mother is one, and she analyzed the situation without further ado, based on a few visits.
It is very important to note that we all have our "moments". Everyone acts irrationally, expresses anger, shows jealousy, changes moods, becomes depressed, etc., on isolated occasions. The difference between BPD and normality is that a BPD sufferer does not check oneself after commiting a booboo in a way which prevents it from happening again. I often received apologies for the excessive, destructive behavior and verbal and psychological abuse from my former SO, but after a time, I responded by insisting upon changed behavior, not apologies for repeated behaviors. She was incapable of going for long periods of time without an overwhelming desire to escape, and she blamed her SO for making her life miserable. She repeatedly left me and sometimes with other men. She became overwhelmed with rage and attacked me viciously, and then filled with shame for doing so. But she could never acquiesce to getting help.
I suspect that there is a little BPD in all of us, just that some people have the little monster in the driver's seat. When that happens, having a committed relationship with that person is going to be full of sadness, failure, tragedy, unless that person tries to deal squarely with his/her issues. Most of us are not so brave.
My completely unauthoritative recommendation to someone in a relationship with someone with BPD is to make a commitment to counseling for both parties a requirement for a continued relationship. I don't know if it would have saved my relationship, but at least it would have saved years of suffering, because I would have recognized that so many things that were happening were not my fault a lot earlier. A relationship with BPD sufferer can be very hurtful. | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:52:25 AM | When I was in college, I had to watch a movie "Girl Interrupted" for an example of that. Actually an extreme example. I think that it is also a book. Good luck to you.
-John | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:56:39 AM | | excuse my ignorance on this... but is borderline personality disorder the same as personality disorder?.... if so then I have this.... I was diagnosed with personality disorder some years ago... yes I agree with sassy that I have often self harmed and taken serious over doses over the years... last time being two months ago... as for "these people are unable to have a stable relationship"... I can't agree with that... yes it is difficult for the partner to witness someone with pd... but it is not impossible to maintain a realionship... you just have to work harder at it... I am getting married next year,he understands my mood swings and self harming,he has read all my medical records and reports and excepts that I will be on medication for the rest of my life.... BUT IT IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE to maintain a stable relationship.... yes he has witnessed my terrible moods which occur out of no where and yes it upsets him... but with the right help and medication I am a lot calmer now.... I took myself off all medication earlier this year telling myself I didn't need these pills to live... two months ago... I proved myself wrong... I understand that now and will remain on them... as long as you recognise your problems and get the right help and treatment... NOTHING is impossible... just a bit harder.... | |
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| borderline personality disorder-any info?
Posted: 12/29/2007 8:08:59 AM | You don't even make sense. If I sort of get the gist of what you are talking about, you are talking about Multiple-Personality disorder.
That was to message 23 | |
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