| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 12:00:41 PM | | i really need peoples views on this as its a big thing in my life at the mo... me and my x havent been together since our son was 2 months old and since he left he has been coming round to help me with him every other day in the week and saturday and sunday ive gotten used to this and feel its great for my son to see him that much , now hes turned around and said other guys only see their kids once every 2 weeks and he wants to do the same im fuming as i know his friends have been telling him what he should be doing..i dont know what to tell him a part of me wants to turn round and say well dont c him at all then and a part of me wants him to stop thinking of himself... please help! | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 12:08:10 PM | £$&$%$*(*(. Is all i can say about him.
My ex will not let me anywhere near our daughter. i am having to fight just to see her.
don t let him do it he ll regret it.
But at the end of the day it s his decision and there is little you can do about it | |
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Miss~T
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Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 3 | |
| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 12:10:08 PM | I was in the same position as you last year. However we ended up in court, not my choice, but as the courts sees it as the childs right to know both parents, so in the best interests of your son its wise to allow as much contact for your son. My son sees his father everyother weekend, saturday sunday and monday. We share birthdays, christmas and he has 1 week at easter and 1 week in the summer holidays.
Can i ask how old your son is now? | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 12:10:54 PM | i wish that i could see my kids more than the one day a week my ex deems to allow
it sounds like your ex has been subject to some peer pressure over this decision
either that or he has started to hear the pub calling
i wont make any suggestions as to what you should do , as i was on the recieving end of someones advice to my ex and it was a painful time for me
all i can say is i hope he sees the error of his ways and comes to his sences . he will miss so much of your sons growth and development , and you can never get those times back
hope it all works out for the benefit of you all , but especially your son . | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 12:15:17 PM | | my son is 16 months old ... have to write more.... yea i sympathise with you all it must be hard seeing ur kid short times i could never ever wait 10 days to see my son it would be my worst nightmare i dont know how he could possibly wanna do this on his own accord | |
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Miss~T
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Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 6 | |
| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 12:19:06 PM | | At that age there not old enough to make any desission for themselves, i would just give your ex his option and leave it at that, his loss. | |
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zips
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Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 7 | |
| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 12:24:09 PM | my ex decided beer was better when i was 16 weeks pregnant...he came back when my son was 5 months old (we were only friends and not together as a couple). He started to see his son once a week, and then started to let me down. He eventually decided when my boy was 11 months old, that he didn't have time to see him and hadn't bonded with him (no shit sherlock) and walked away. I work with him and see him most weeks......we don't talk.
The one thing that really grips my poo is that he has 2 older daughters who he sees every tues/wed and has them to stay every other weekend.....what a prat.
I have to say i don't give a stuff...he gave me something amazing and he the only person missing out...all he gotta do is ring me and he can see his son....BUT I WON'T BEG HIM.....my son is worth more than that. I never say anything bad about him to my kid,,,it will be for him to amke his own mind up about his dad as he gets older!!
some people cant see what they have....so sad is all i can say!
zips x | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 12:34:53 PM | im sorry but speaking from a mans point of view , i cant understand how any man would not want as much contact as possible with his children .
it upsets me to hear about a mother who is prepared to bend over backwards for the fathers benefit and he stays away
as they say , it takes two to tango , it takes two to bring a life into this world , and if given the chance it should be both parents that raise a child either together or seperately | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 12:44:43 PM | | i could never be away from my kids for more than a week,it would drive me mad,my daughter is a proper daddys girl,she round here all the time.My son lives in lincolnshire but i still see him often....i cant understand why some men seem so disinterested, they r their kids too | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 12:55:52 PM | i see my 14 yr old daughter every other weekend and in emergencies.love the time i spend with her and although i know that i cannot see her during the week,i phone her every other night.
sometimes life really sucks................ | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:01:37 PM | havin bought up 3 children on my own because their dad seemed to think more of his girlfriend
i now have 3 children that are angry at him for not havin a back bone,it seemed to affect my son more,my 2 girls are of the opion his loss,because he has also missed out on 2 wonderful grandchildren | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:04:24 PM | Bet fathers for justice wouldnt be impressed, arent men wanting to see thier kids more, not less
And from your post hes saying he only wants to see your child every other weekend!!! which is far less than hes seeing now.
Mine doesnt see the twins at all, never has really, but it was just a quickie after all  so
didnt expect him to be hands on | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:15:01 PM | I realy can't understand blokes that don't bother with their kids. Is my single most admirable achievement being a father. When I first left them I was heartbroken. I couldn't function without them. Thankfully they were old enough to dictate to their mother their demands for access. God bless em.
I hope things work out for you. It's his loss at the end of the day. Any bloke can father a child, but not every man can be a dad | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:26:23 PM | My ex has our daughter every weekend fri/sat/sun one week and sat/sun the next week and so on. That way was decided through the courts though as he origionally took my for bloody custody  on the grounds that he was better than me !! As much as I hate the b*s*a*d, since my little girl was born did he never show no interest to her or want to see her and play a part in her life. My advice would be you can't make your ex's decisions for him over whether or not he wants to see his son. I personally wouldn't try and prevent him from seeing him either as it could turn nasty. Talk to him and see whether you can't work out a routine between the two of you and whats more do so so it benefits your son. Good luck !!! | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:35:23 PM | | My ex emigrated to New Zealand 3 years ago. he's not seen the kids since. they've had 1 phonecall ,one letter and 2 postcards off him in that time. mostly bragging about what he has over there.He sends xmas and b/day cards and money.He did used to pay matinence a pittance of £135 a month for 3 kids.Now he says he can't afford it.His mother lives in Cyprus and comes over 3 times a year to see her other 3 grandchildren in Kent.Shes not seen my kids for 4 years.I've never stopped any of them seeing the kids and i never will. | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:48:22 PM | Give him a week and he will be ringing you asking to see his son.
Not all men cut and run as your ex has already shown, he wants to be part of his childs life and he will miss him if he has seen him so many times a week..
As you said yourself, its his friends that have planted the seed in his mind. Not something he came up with himself. | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:50:00 PM | What a fooking Knob if you dont mind me saying...O yeah i only want to see my child every 2 weeks because all the rest of the knobs in this country do it that way, because they r too busy with thier social life.
Well you tell him when he can see him if he wants to try and be the big man throwing out demands at when he sees his child, show him whos boss i say and simply because he tried to do it to you first, that child should be the 1st thing on his mind in a morning and the last thing on a night, he should want to spend as much precious time with his son as possible, i swear some people dont know how lucky they are .... when my x tried to do this i told him how lucky he was to have a son as there are people who would lose thier most prized possessions, thier arms, thier legs, just to have a child .... Let him know how it is and dont be scared of putting your foot down at the end of the day your the one looking after your child and wanting the best, not some part time Dad who cant be fecking a***d !!! .. xx
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:51:54 PM | | My ex and I share the responsibility of our children 50/50 now, this was something that did not happen overnight especially when we where establishing our lives apart. We have worked really hard to endeavour that they are our main priority no matter what. I could not imagine a life without seeing and being a part of their life,as I know he could not either. | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 2:04:50 PM |
As you said yourself, its his friends that have planted the seed in his mind. Not something he came up with himself.
Can't be much cop if he's so easily swayed. As far as I can tell there's two real reasons for the "occasional weekend" model- the woman's been a b!tch and screwed the guy over access through the courts, or he works long hours, she's out of work and it's simply pointless for him to have the kids during the week because they'd just be at before- and after-school clubs anyway. The other reason is that the guy's simply a jerk and wants to wash his hands of them. Just because a lot end up in that position, it's not generally by choice and both those who think it IS a normal choice, and those who listen to it down the pub, are at best naive.
I have mine as close to half the time as possible. During a normal week I have him a little more than half the time, but because her family's overseas and she takes him over for some holidays it evens out.
It's not really worth arguing over. If he wants to be a jerk, long term as everyone else has said it's him who'll lose out. If he doesn't want to spend time and you make him, then it'll suck for your son. | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 3:10:45 PM | Lovelyblonde, as an absent father to my son, I am with you 1000% hunny. I have not seen my son in three years, and after 14 court battles, winning 14 times, and still she does not comply with the order, I have come to realise that the order is not worth the paper it is written on, only to prove to your child later in life, you put up a fight, legally.
Your ex is sick. Im sorry, but I am an active campaigner for the "Fathers for Justice" group, and you ex should be grateful for the fact he has an ex that will not stop him seeing his son.
All I think about every day is Benjamin, my son. He is now 7 years old. 
I am so bloody angry at your ex . Does he not stop and realisewhat he is doing?
Children need both parents, and absent fathers statistically only see thier children once a fortnight. Not through choice, its the minimum the law allows, against a mother who opposes the mans request, so yes you ex is right. What he does not understand is MOST men would not choose once a fortnight. They would take ANYTHING and EVERYTHING given.
His actions if he goes ahead are selfless, selfish and hurtfull, not only to his son, but to you, and to every father who does not get to see his children, and not through choice. (approximatley 2 million) (stats by fathers for Justice)
God only knows I wish you were my ex, at least Ben would be in my arms every other day. A child needs to see BOTH parents at least three to four times a week to maintain a strong bond, recent studies have proved.
The mums (Or dads) who have custody and prevent their ex from seeing thier children (except in exceptional circumstances such as at risk or violence) are sick and need help. You are hurting your child, not your ex partner.
SO three cheers for Lovelyblonde, HIP HIP HOORAY, HIP HIP HOORAY, HIP HIP HOORAY 
We needs more mums like you ! TOTAL RESPECT GIRL ! | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 3:57:52 PM | my ex has his children,
6pm friday night to 6pm sunday night EVERY OTHER WEEKEND!
and not a bloody minute more, my sons think he's a twit which suits me, cause i don't need to slag him off! but my 10 year old daughter is very angry, cause he spends more time with his step daughter, and when she is there the other one hangs round so my little un gets no quality time with her dad
some men are so stupid!
tell your ex if he does'nt want to take advantage of the open access you've allowed him, then to take you to court and let them decide whats fair! | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 4:52:35 PM | My ex sees our son whenever they both like, its once a fortnight at the moment, thats been since i lost my mum my son and i wanted to spend more time together as i was working full time at that time
Men who dont want to see their children, as far as i am concerned are losers. My ex would love to see our son every week but my son wants to spend some weekends with me. He takes him on holiday for 2 weeks every year and has him for half of each holiday.
I am lucky i suppose, i have a fantastic child and a fantastic ex | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/25/2006 5:36:13 PM | | i split with my ex when my daughter was 2 years old (she's now 19) and i used to see her at least twice a week as i worked shifts back then. We used to take turn about at christmas and basically i could see her when i wanted. i think men should keep in touch with their kids as they may regret it later in life | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/26/2006 12:48:54 AM | It would be very easy to at first say "What a selfish tosser!" and compare him to something undesirable you'd find on the sole of your shoe, but the harsh reality of being the parent without residency rights is that it is a heart wrenching and lonely experience.
The guy obviously sounds like he is trying to be a good dad but missing out on early morning's/late night's might sound absurd to parents dealing with teething toddlers, kids with coughs etc but those semi asleep hugs with your child can mean so much. Also he may feel he is growing apart from his child as he is heading towards the 'the terrible two's' and may find this frustrating and not know how to deal with it.
Encourage him to keep it often as possible but you cant do any more, he has to do it himself. If he doesnt show up in the right frame of mind it will be detrimental to your son to see him and quality not quantity. I no longer count the days every week I spend with my son but I do make sure he has a happy life and he knows who his daddy is and how much his daddy loves him.
Short answer not less than one not more than 3 (Csa would cut her money if I had him more than 3 days a week) | |
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| how often does ur ex see ur kids
Posted: 11/26/2006 1:19:16 AM | he we are tarred with the same brush,again.some of us dads would love to see our children more.we are not all social butterflies,or beer swilling knowalls.i dont live locally to my ex,so the arrangement of every night or a few nights per week is not practical.my daughter is 14 and has a very mature outlook.she knows the score and we have quality time,not some rushed hi and bye thing.
its hard enough to be parted from your child,and the wrenching of emotions is agony,but we have to try for the sake of our children to hide that and live as normally as possible.
oh yes there are shits(male and female)but we are not all the same. | |
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