| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 3:16:49 PM | I had a date with a great guy last week. he asked me out the next day & well circumstances prevented us from going out again. since then... he doesn't call, doesn't reply to my emails & doesn't really chat on msn anymore. I'm worried that I'm in the process of scaring him off.
(& no I didnt' talk about marriage or having his babies on our date :P)
I'm seriously trying to back off b/c I really like this guy & don't want to push it too much. since I know that will scare him away. It's been a long time since I've felt like this about a guy & I don't want to screw it up.
so my question is...what can a girl do to get or keep your interest without seeming pushy, clingy etc?
is it better to pretend I don't care?
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 3:36:35 PM | The holidays are upon us and everyone is busy. The ocassional and simple email or text message would keep me interested. If you have plans (if not, make some:) for a quick coffee or something simple call him and say you could use some company if he has time. You really have to be yourself and like you said, not pushy or clingy.
Best of luck
JMO | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 3:49:29 PM | You are not in the process of scaring him off, he just isn't interested. If you don't see that from his actions then step back and take a closer look.
Why do women feel the need to find ways to keep a man interested in them? Why would you want someone who isn't one hundred percent into you?
Cut your losses and move on otherwise you are going to waste time and energy setting yourself up to be hurt. | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 4:03:23 PM | ^^^^ 100% agree couldn't have said it better myself.
The guy is already...... GONE.
Move on! | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 4:30:17 PM | screw him. if he did not have fun after the frist date throw him back in the water...you could always be crule and leave a commit for him saying he is a sucky dater or you could just throw him back. your choice. | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 4:50:47 PM |
You are not in the process of scaring him off, he just isn't interested.
WRONG WRONG WRONG
he is interested ( he did ask to see you the next day - if he wasnt he wouldnt ask ) but took your unavailability the wrong way -- like you were not interested - making an excuse
call him or email and say " lets go here on so and so day and have some fum -- pick up from my place at so so and so time " bet he shows up early to pick you up | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 4:58:46 PM |
I had a date with a great guy last week
One date & then
It's been a long time since I've felt like this about a guy
what can a girl do to get or keep your interest without seeming pushy, clingy etc?
is it better to pretend I don't care?
Do NOT let him read this. | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 5:12:51 PM | It only happened last week? People ... yes, even men ... have lives. Give him another week. You made it known you're still interested ... unless you turned down the second date in a way that he took as you not being interested. "Gosh, I would but that's CSI night."
How do you two know each other? How did you originally hook up? That will strongly determine what you might want to consider doing next. | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 5:17:36 PM | well the circumstances that prevented us from going out the next day where his circumstances not mine.
& I was curious about that. if he wasn't interested why would he invite me out the very next day?? but at the same time...if he was interested...why hasn't he tried to reschedule? | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 5:22:20 PM | I agree with the man down under, he is definitely interested. The trick is to recover from your clingy behavior. If you have already tried to reach him more than two times, that's potentially bad news. I would give it 5 days and then see if he would be interested in doing something really cool, like a concert or something you might both like. If you keep bugging him, you will just drive him away. If you do find something any other guy would like, shoot him an email instead of calling and give him a week's notice, make some excuse like you'll be busy for a while but thought he might like to join you at this cool event.
good luck! | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 6:09:54 PM | well I have invited him to a party I have Dec 1st.
but he may not be back in town by then :(
so I guess I just have to wait until he shows up or....a few days after the party invite him to do something.
but now...what are some suggestions of something cool to do??
cuz the showing up naked thing...doesn't work for me. (he has roommates -so no bj at the door) | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 6:45:53 PM |
You are not in the process of scaring him off, he just isn't interested.
WRONG WRONG WRONG
he is interested ( he did ask to see you the next day - if he wasnt he wouldnt ask ) but took your unavailability the wrong way -- like you were not interested - making an excuse
call him or email and say " lets go here on so and so day and have some fum -- pick up from my place at so so and so time " bet he shows up early to pick you up
I disagree. If a guy is interested then he will do everything possible to make sure the girl is fully aware of that whether it is via phone, email, text messaging or in person. His actions are saying "you are not worth the time it takes to respond".
So what if he made a date for the next day.... he cancelled. If his cancellation were valid then in that moment he would have rescheduled. | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 6:48:49 PM |
well I have invited him to a party I have Dec 1st.
but he may not be back in town by then :(
so I guess I just have to wait until he shows up or....a few days after the party invite him to do something.
no dont do anything else now except find another guy
you inited him and now he shows indifference - now i will agree with others he isnt interested otherwise he would have said -- see you there etc
under NO circumstance invite him too anything else | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 7:17:33 PM | Yah and my goodness he's the one who cancelled??? I thought it was OP who probably cancelled.
Man and they say guys need things spelled right out LOL.  | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 7:19:29 PM |
otherwise he would have said -- see you there etc
he did say that. he said that he should be back by Dec 1st & if he is, he'll see me at the party. but unfortunately...I'm thinking he'll either be jetlagged or something will come up & he'll have to stay away on business for a few more days. (pesimistic side of me) | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 7:38:00 PM | It sounds to me like he was trying to let you down easy, but utterly failed to get the point across. Or you're experiencing creatively constructed memories.
I met a woman years ago through Yahoo dating (side note: avoid it like the plague). We met once, but she was not my type. I told her that we should go our separate ways, as I didn't see any future with her at all (yes, it was that obvious). Her reply was, "But we can still talk, right?" After a few rounds of this, I just said, "Sure", and got caller ID.
She spoke to my answering machine for 3 years before finally giving up. | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 7:56:30 PM | well I gave him an out on several occasions. I've told him I value honesty about all else.
& if he wanted to let me down easy...he could have taken the cowardly way out & told me in an email. but his last email to me was "I had fun & we will definitely do that again"
so........I'd like to think I'm not that dense. but why do guys tell you one thing when they don't really feel that way. I mean I would respect him more if he was just honest about things. | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 9:38:33 PM | From what ive heard, he is interested.
Email him or call him and say something like.
"Im free on these dates and these times, would you like to go out to dinner or a few drinks or something? I had a great time and i also would like to do it again.let me know what date and time suits you best and i'll see you then"
That lets him know you are still interested and also gives him the freedom to make plans when he isnt busy, what ive learnt is that guys need their freedom, i made a big mistake with the father of my unborn child by not giving him his freedom and now we dont even live together anymore.
if he doesnt meet with you again, then he isnt interested.
Guys are weird creatures, but so are women and guys dont like to show their feelings too much. if you do meet up, just act as though its a fun "friend on friend" catch up or something, if he sees that you are just trying to be a friend then he might think to himself "hmm shes acting like a friend, i wanna be more then that" and then he might make more of an effort to be with you.
Good luck with everything :-)  | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/26/2006 10:15:51 PM |
If a guy is interested then he will do everything possible to make sure the girl is fully aware of that whether it is via phone, email, text messaging or in person..
So, if a girl is interested than she also will do everything possible to make sure the guy is fully aware, right? I mean, this has to work both ways, right?
Why should the men always be the ones to stick their necks out? Can't the woman at least ACT interested? I hate this notion that women should just sit there and look pretty and judge men by how desperate they can appear.
If his cancellation were valid then in that moment he would have rescheduled. .
I've been canceled on several times recently. Ya, have at me if you want, but does this mean they're not interested if they cannot immediately produce an alternate date?
OP, do what ever you want, but at least give the guy a chance to say what he really wants before you kick him to the curb. And don't pretend, either. Nothing good can come from false pretenses. | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/27/2006 12:16:55 AM | thanks Jeff.
He obviously knows I'm interested. I think I've done all I can.
& I'm 100% sure his reason for cancelling was valid. & now he's away on business. (also valid)
so he couldn't very well reschedule for a date when he wasn't sure on when he would be home. but I guess....now I'll play aloof & wait for him to come to me. as hard as that is.
thanks all | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/27/2006 4:44:20 AM | I agree sometimes people get busy. I had an experience I thought this guy was the "total package" and I told him we would meet for a coke and if he wasn't interested exit. This guy stayed all day with me and he said a lot of wonderful things that led me to beleive there would be more dates. I never heard from him again. My attitude (and it all is about attitude) was this man saved me from a problematic relationship. If he was that spineless who needed him? Also we women need to be careful we are not trying to prove to the man we are good enough for him. Don't watch what he says watch his actions. IF a guy doesnt call you back and you are getting depressed then take time out from dating. You should keep your options open.
The right guy for you.....you wont need to ask how to keep him interested....he'll be interested in you and you can be you.
Remember your not alone in being single thats why we are all here. Hold out for somone special : A man that is worth your tears but wont make you cry.........
Hugs to all, | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/27/2006 6:07:22 AM | well I have invited him to a party I have Dec 1st.
but he may not be back in town by then :(
so I guess I just have to wait until he shows up or....a few days after the party invite him to do something.
no dont do anything else now except find another guy
you inited him and now he shows indifference - now i will agree with others he isnt interested otherwise he would have said -- see you there etc
under NO circumstance invite him too anything else
I agree...I once went out with a guy I met on POF...it SEEMED like we had a really good time...had a really nice talk and whatnot...anyway...HE asked ME what I was doing the next weekend...and he said he would call me because he wanted to see me again. All I did after was e mail him telling him I had a really good time, and was glad to finally meet...and he replied saying the same, and that he would call me later in the week....AND HE NEVER DID. Now I really dont care that much, but I just thought it was very rude, since he is the one who initiated a second date in the first place. If I am not in to a guy, I certainly don't ask what he is doing the next week. Anyway, moral of the story is don't wait around. If they don't call, find someone else. They should have had the courtesy to let you know if they aren't interested. You deserve better. Hope that helps a little, and good luck! | |
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| how to keep a guy interested?
Posted: 11/27/2006 7:13:04 AM | If he's interested, he will be there Dec 1st, regardless of what condition he is in or he will let you know. Cut off contact with him. If you don't see him or hear from him, it is time to move on. But you will have learned a valuable lesson, so it not a total loss. There are many more fishies out there...
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