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 JeepGuyinCo
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 1
Girlfriend wants to get pregnantPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I've been seeing this gal for almost 3 months and about a month ago she told me she plans on getting pregnant very soon. (That is with or without my help! She was planning on artificial insemination.) I nearly dumped her. She was planning on this before she met me. The trouble is, I don't want a kid at least for another year or two and she doesn't want to wait that long. (She is 36 and has health problems and was told not to wait.) Dammit, I don't know what to do. She absolutely refuses to wait until i'm ready. My mother thinks I should just let her go and find someone else my own age. I really like her and i'm thinking of doing the job of knocking her up so to speak. My mom is gonna flip though! She says she doesn't mind footing the bill for all the medical bills and child care. But dammit this is not how I wanted to start my family If she doesn't want to wait until i'm ready to be a dad, then does she really love me? Just curious what others would do if they were me. She is a great gal and really deserves to be a mom, and i'm sure she would make a very good one.
 Vaporous
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 2
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 5:36:40 PM
dude having a kid is a serious thing.. if you personally dont think your ready then dont have one just because someone else wants to... i have a 15month old right now.. i loved the mom and thought we would be together for ever haha but thats only in fairy tails these days... now im paying 500$ in child support for 18 years..i was totally not ready and im still trying to adjust to this whole thing ... but lemme tell you again... PLEASE think about this.. dont let someone talk you into this if your not ready.. because this is a lifetime thing
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 3
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Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 5:39:17 PM
("Jaded mode" answer:) And this is a problem why? Biologically, isn't this the underlying point of dating? If you're not willing to live up to that, then why are you out here?

OK, so not wanting that this minute is one thing, but as your deferral of this is only "a year or two," compared to the next 20 years of raising a child, isn't there room for compromise. Who told her not to wait; a doctor?

There's got to be more to this story than you're letting on.
 Sigi
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 4
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 5:43:33 PM
Op...your profile says....


Just curious. I have a baby doll already, and one is enough for me! Of course, a little "quality hang out" would be nice every now and then, hehe.


^^ says enough....

But anyway...she doesn't need your sperm, if she was planning already on artificial insemination...
 Sombient
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 5
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 5:46:13 PM
OP, you and this women are 10 yrs apart in age and have been together a very short time to be talking about baby-making! You've admitted to feeling mature enough to handle fatherhood. You're choice of terms, dump, knock-up...seem to support your contention that your not ready to be a parent. Frankly, you don't sound ready for marriage or permanent partnering either.

Do this woman a favor, let her go, gently. Explain that you are not yet ready for family responsibilities. Follow your mothers advice, get someone your own age, with similar immediate lifestyle objectives (eg, not family building).

I think you already knew the answer to this question, eh?
 c note
Joined: 12/24/2005
Msg: 6
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 5:50:47 PM
Look...if you are willing to procreate with a woman whom you merely "really like", despite this not being the way you want to start your family...seriously, give your head a shake. And I don't mean the one between your legs.

She sounds selfish. I've heard that having a child can remedy this affliction. Let her have her baby, but do not provide her with your demon seed. You will regret it...maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life.

Casablanca - a highly touted source of advice.
 JeepGuyinCo
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 7
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 5:51:32 PM
Remember, most people my age are married or starting families right now anyway. Its just that I wanted to be MARRIED first AND I wanted to be able to support my family fully. My girlfriend has the funds to fully support the child. Being the guy of course I feel it is my responsiblity to support this child financially since she will be bearing all the physical burden for it.
 shondale
Joined: 10/23/2006
Msg: 8
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 5:53:29 PM
I see both sides of the issue here. Bottom line, however, if you're not ready, then you're not ready. Period. Tell her what you told us, and if she's mature then she'll handle it well.
Now, if you do want to help, perhaps you can get some sort of contract - that this is her own doing, and that you won't be responsible for child support, etc. Of course you're also risking your "right" to be a part of this child's life if you do that.
If you don't want drama, then the best thing to do is go your separate ways.
 blinders
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 9
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Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 5:58:49 PM
RUN. there are some things that people need to compromise on, like what colour to paint the kitchen, what kind of car to buy,etc. but when it comes to creating a life, you both better be on the same page and equally excited about it. long after the current girlfriend has had enough of your company, you'll be paying (financially and emotionally) for the next 20 years....and just think, you can avoid it ALL by cutting her loose NOW. let her try to get support from the turkey baster she'll need to plant the seed without you....
 fr0gkiss3r
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 10
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 6:07:53 PM
Actually, the average age a man gets married nowadays is 28. You'll have plenty of time until then to build up your finances and find a woman closer to your age. If you have a child now, you might not have the time or energy to enjoy being with your current girlfriend. I would advise parting ways so you two won't ruin each other's plans for the future.
 SOBEIT19
Joined: 10/15/2006
Msg: 11
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Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 6:09:41 PM
ummm what's missing here is a wedding, comittment, love.. RUN! unless you wish to be refered to as "sperm donor" and have to pay child support..
 stubobb
Joined: 1/24/2005
Msg: 12
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 6:23:13 PM
Don't do it!
Three months?
90 days?
You don't even know her yet...well yeah you do, she's desperate and is willing to steamroll you. You definitely don't need that. She's shown her colors.

This is important stuff, if you have to be forced into fatherhood you're not going to be able to do it well and enjoy it. Everything will be shrouded in resentments.

Been there, done that, it faaking damn near broke me. I really miss that particular piece of my soul...

Bail...now!
 sum1reel
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 13
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 6:26:22 PM
at Jeep


My mother thinks I should just let her go and find someone else my own age.



^...........dude, listen to your mother (while you still have the chance).....she is right on the money!.........once you get her pregnant, your life will never be the same.....and it will be done on her terms not yours!

her goal is to get pregnant so it seems........and it doesn't seem to matter with whom....so you are just a means to an end.........once she has her baby then you'll see her true colors!
 kmhstx
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 14
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 6:32:04 PM
Think of this baby....if this is not the way you want to start a family then DON"T DO IT. this is someones life you are playing around with here. I'm sure there are some aspects to your gf that are great, but her pressuring you to be a father is not good. Think about this clearly. You don't even know if you are in love with her, you've only known her 3 months, and you want to knock her up, because she's pressuring you...and she already has health issues?
 caseyp553
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 15
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 6:39:41 PM
DON"T DO IT!! You'll be paying child support and health insurance for 18 years. If she truly loves you she'll wait until you both are sure that you'll stay together. Being together for almost three months is nowhere near long enough to get to know each other. It will be unfair to the child when you split. If having a child is that important to her let her find some other sucker.
 loveisclickaway
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 16
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 6:41:40 PM
YOUR MOM IS WILLING TO FOOT THE MEDICAL BILLS??? HOW OLD ARE YOU 13?...RUN LIKE HELL
 JoePAMN
Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 17
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 6:54:09 PM
If you say you're not ready, then you're not ready. Bringing a child into the world is the biggest responsibility you will ever have, and not something you should take lightly. If this woman is ready & willing to have a baby, leave her to it, but unless you plan on being there with her and the baby, you're better off getting clear of her. Its not about her, its about the potential child you and her might have. I had a son at a very young age, and while I wouldn't trade him for the world, quite honestly I wasn't prepared for all that being a father meant. I did my best by him, but I would have been a better dad if I had waited and been sure I was mentally, emotionally and financially ready.
 guitarman100
Joined: 8/25/2004
Msg: 18
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 7:04:48 PM
dump her..........now
 johnglc
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 19
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 8:11:57 PM
She sounds selfish.Dump her.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 Sadie415
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 20
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 8:11:59 PM
Let her take the shot and keep your pants zipped.
 Magickman
Joined: 1/29/2005
Msg: 21
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Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 8:36:23 PM
Unfortunately, the girlfriend sounds like a wackjob. She wants a baby? Let her go to get a sperm donor, and find yourself a woman who is on the same page as you are.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 22
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 8:39:32 PM
OP - When in doubt, don't get preggers. You don't seem to be 100% certain that you want this child NOW, so that right there is all of the more reasons not to do the deed to bring a child into this world. Also, dating 3 months, is a sure guarantee that this woman will eventually be a single mom. The child deserves more. You'd be wiser knowing this woman for at least another year. When you bring children into this world, they are a precious gift and deserve the best. At this time, this situation doesn't afford a child the best.
 MrKerry73
Joined: 11/16/2005
Msg: 23
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 8:43:41 PM
When I got out of my nasty divorce, I reunited with an ex girlfriend from HS, we met and hit it off and all was doing great until her cousin had a child. Her being a year older than me and never married with no kids, put me in kind of a dilima. I was not ready to be a parent again and she was pushing me to get married and me to father a child. Well, My marriage, still fresh in my mind made me set her free to find what she wanted. Well, I can do the dating and committment thing, but I am not ready to be a daddy again....

Ever since then, I try to date women that already have children, I do not want that "I WANT TO BE A PARENT" pressure...
 smitten2meetu
Joined: 11/16/2004
Msg: 24
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 11:02:11 PM
Dump the woman, one due to not being able to tell you about what her needs where from the start. Why are you with a woman who is older and has medical health issues, and doesn't care about your needs, fear or concerns about your choices....Run fast and don't stop...

If you're not ready, don't do it, until you know in your heart that this is what you want to do. You will regret this, if this lady doesn't work out, she turns out to be psychopath or jealous lady and you must deal with her for your entire life, all due to knowing her for 3 months, thats 90 days.

Get real and let this woman go, and if you feel bothered or unsure, seek a therapist, but until then, use a condom, when having sex....

Good luck
 artista
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 25
Girlfriend wants to get pregnant
Posted: 11/27/2006 11:14:08 PM
RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOUR wants are IMPORTANT.


Is this the type of woman you want to give the privilidge of raising your child to????
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Girlfriend wants to get pregnant