| funny text messages
Posted: 11/29/2006 2:47:09 PM | | Do anyone know any really funny text messages? | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/29/2006 2:59:29 PM | | In regret to say it but there is no such thing as a funny text message. Text messaes are not in english, they are not a viable means of comunication. When not talking face to face you loose non verbal communiication. When not talking voice to voice you lose verbal inflection and dialect/accent, therefore texting is not a form of viable comunication, for now. | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/29/2006 3:07:12 PM | I heard that Scottish Power had been taken over by a Spanish power company.They have already laid two pipelines from Spain......Hose A and Hose B
Aqua....Rubbish! | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/29/2006 4:33:18 PM | | 20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one a***hole is now holding his mobile in his hand | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/30/2006 12:49:29 AM | Got this one Via Text....
A lil Girl hurt her finger on a pin... came screaming to her mother and said 'Quick I need cider'.... The Mother asked.. 'What do you need Cider for ?' The lil girl said... 'Well my older Sister always said... When she gets a prick in her hand.. she cant wait to get it................. 'Inside Her'!!!!!
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/30/2006 2:11:52 AM | send to men only
a girl was granted two wishes by a fairy,she asked for big t!ts and a tight c**t, so she was given 38dd's and your phone number  | |
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pj987
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Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 7 | |
| funny text messages
Posted: 11/30/2006 1:00:15 PM | mummy where do babies come from?
"well daddies make a liquid called sperm and put it mummys tummy"
"do mummys swallow it"
"only if they want a new pair of shoes? | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/30/2006 1:11:57 PM | 1 day U'll B surprised 2C me, beside U.
U+Me Laughing
U+ME dreaming
U+Me crying,
U+Me holding on...
2gether just U & Me
sitting in a fooking Mental Hospital
But i'll still love U M8 even though i wont know who the fook you are!
another one just arrived on my fone
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says "U want 2play magic sex?"
she says "wots that?"
he says "we go 2 my house and fook andthen... U disappear"
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/30/2006 1:15:08 PM | you've got class
you've got style
a gorgeous ass
and a sexy smile
your voice cold wake a heart from slumber
oh. bolloxs sorry wrong f*cking number
too feckin short........................................................................................................ | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/30/2006 1:19:39 PM | | funny as fcúk sporting will deffo be sending that to a few guys i know .... | |
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Morinn
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Joined: 2/24/2006
Msg: 11 | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/30/2006 2:06:31 PM | News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo...
1 was caught watching tv...
another playing football
and the third one was caught reading this txt message. | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/30/2006 4:00:07 PM | Why did god invent orgasms for women?
So they can still have a f***ing moan even when they are enjoying themselves!!
Zookeeper says 'Paddy, the gorilla's on heat. I need someone to have sex with her, will you shag her for £500?
Paddy replies, 'i will on 3 conditions. 1. I dont kiss her. 2. My family dont get to know and 3. give me a couple of weeks to get the cash | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/30/2006 4:11:41 PM | If god created man then who the fook created a woman .. THE COUNCIL??
Who else would put a shithole next to a play area ?
xx
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/30/2006 4:15:31 PM | Men are like squirrels...always trying to get a nut!
Men are like.....Mini skirts ~ if your not careful they will creep up your legs!!!!
Men are like puppies...there your best friend when you give them a treat, but other wise don't know who you are.
Men are like ...Chocolate Bars... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like ...Snowstorms... You never know when they‘re coming, how many inches you‘ll get or how long it will last.
Men are like money .....
here today gone tomorrow....
Men are like buses,
You spend ages waiting for one then they all come at once.
Men are like public bathrooms either taken or full of shit. | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/30/2006 4:21:17 PM | Jack and jill went up the hill
so jack could lick jill's f*nny
Jack got a shock
and a mouthful of c*ck
Cos Jills a f*cking tranny | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 11/30/2006 4:27:59 PM | OMG I spat on my screen then
Men are like... roses.
You have to watch out for the pricks.
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| funny text messages
Posted: 12/1/2006 3:15:10 AM | how do you make 5lb of fat look attractive?
put a nipple on it
in a recent survey,100 men were asked what they enjoyed most about a blow job?
99% of them said the 10 minutes of silence
whats the definition of a **stard?
a man who f*cks you all night with a 2" c0ck and then kisses you goodbye with a 12"tongue
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| funny text messages
Posted: 12/1/2006 3:38:01 AM | Im a creature,Im in your phone
Im having sex with your fingers
RIGHT NOW!!
I know you like it cause
your SMILING!!
Send me to someone else
Im still HORNY..;)
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| funny text messages
Posted: 12/1/2006 2:32:36 PM | How do you know Santa's a man?
Coz he turns up late, eats your food, drinks your booze  empties his sack.
Only comes once, then ****s off before you wake up | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 12/1/2006 2:57:54 PM | some nice ones there
Murphy calls to see his m8 Paddy who has a broken leg.
Paddy says "Me feet are freezin m8, could you nip upstairs and get my slippers ?
No bother Murphy says as he runs upstairs.
Paddy's 2 stunning 19yr old daughters are sitting on their beds.
Hello girls, your dad sent me up here to sh*g ye both !!
"feck off ya liar" they said
" I will prove it" So he shouts down the stairs both of them Paddy ?
"of course, whats the point of fecking one !
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Miss~T
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Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 22 | |
| funny text messages
Posted: 12/1/2006 2:58:07 PM | | Can i post one about an old granny or will it get deleted | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 12/1/2006 3:03:19 PM | I wanted to send you something, beautiful, kind, attractive, funny and sexy to cheer you up.
But the postman told me to take the stamps of my *rse and get the feck out of the postbox !! | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 12/1/2006 3:04:22 PM | | a reasent studdi haz chown thet peapel hoo aar fukin amezing in bed r krap at spalling !!! Q:how do you get a fat bird into bed? A: A PIECE OF CAKE | |
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Miss~T
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Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 25 | |
| funny text messages
Posted: 12/1/2006 3:15:06 PM | OK, hope this dont get deleted.
Why is a pork pie like a pensioners fanny?
Cos u have to bite of the crust and lick out the jelly before you get to the meat.
Sorry its rather discusting my mate sent it to me | |
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