| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 6:31:59 AM | I read the posts & there seems to be a theme running thru most of them.
You meet a guy/girl and all is fansastic & then for whatever the reason it ends and here we are again single?
Why is it so hard to meet & stay with one person for 'life'? | |
|
| |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 6:54:47 AM | Too many fishy's out there.
There is always a better one waiting in the next window,,,,,,, | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 6:59:08 AM |
Why is it so hard to meet & stay with one person for 'life'?
There is indeed something mysterious about it . . . Somehow the average life of a person is longer that that of a relationship, while the average life expectancy of people has increased, that of relationships has decreased. However it is not quite clear to me whether having more than one relationship during a lifetime is good or bad . . . At our early lives we may need some trial and error, later people may change, and with them their relationships also change . . . Things become probably more stable at an older age. The important thing is not to get old alone. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 7:00:23 AM | Most people really dont know who they are, much less in what they need in a relationship. Unconscious motives rule thus a lot of people making the same mistakes over and over again. We live in a competitive society and use pretty much the same style in looking for a mate which is extremely inappropriate in matters of the heart. I am often amazed how cruel people can be to one another. People who have shared thier bodies together , a life, maybe even shared vows and made children and cannot even be civil to one another and speak so disrespectful where they are the mother or father of thier children. What is boils down to is basic respect. I like to date, because it really doesnt take too long to see what is someone really about. The respect coming from getting to know the person without the distraction of being sexual with them. When you become sexual, you bond with that person, even if he/she is not right for you. Thus unhappiness. Havent you known in your heart this person is not for you, but you still want to be with them even though they make you miserable? Everyone, Everyone has had that experience. Whether it be our intimates or our family members where we are bonded to. True happiness comes from within. I learned this the hard way, folks! Much love to all and happy fishing! | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 7:08:35 AM | These days women are also out bringing home the bacon & have to cook it too, look after the house, the kids .....we do it on our own , we are so set in our routines we have put our lives in that we dont want someone to come along a ruffle our feathers, or take up that little bit of "ME" time we have . I work with several single women & we work nights & weekends & we have done this to raise our family & have a nest egg. They all say the same thing, "change" ... I am quite comfy the way my life is, do i really want or need someone?? .As we get older we do not accept change as a good thing , but rather a stumbling block.I can go where i want , i can come home when i want, i can buy what i want ,i can talk to whoom i want..... I can do whateva i want & yes noone to stress me out about it.
Dont get me wrong i do miss a manly figure but some of my findings have set themselves on a pedastol ... & fallen off very quickly, & we end up right back where we started, making us a harder catch the next time around..  | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 7:26:50 AM | Some of us have made it past that point of "I need to get married " syndrome that happens to singles after college,maybe, or establishing a career and became comfortable in who we are. So as we wise up and realize we don't miss marrying the H S /college sweetheart the personality we develop gets tuned finer and finer, unless there are problems (i.e. drugs,etc) and the selection of potential partners for life gets narrower and narrower. And if you're like me and didn't buy a house 20 yrs ago and starved to pay for it, you're probably wondering how you're going to buy one w/o robbing an armored car.     | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 7:34:18 AM | #1- This is a disposable society. You dont like something about things you have, you throw them out and get new ones.
#2- Women are not as dependent upon men as we were 50 years ago, so there's less motivation to stay. Women have adjusted rather well to this, but men seem to be lagging behind there. She's not gonna wait on him and cook, clean, pickup after him, and all t hose things that our grandma's did for grandpa.
#3- Everyone seems to be very jaded and 'burned' by past relationships, and they are afraid to put everything into one because it'll just end badly.
#4- Instant gratification. How many people think a relationship would be worth it if they had to wait til they actually got to know the other person before they had sex? And I"m not talking about just til the second date, either... | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 7:35:09 AM | | Because most humans are boring, become way to predictable and require an enormous amount of maintenance... eh' | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 7:42:14 AM | | because aur life cycle is to long / and trust me you are not the same persen you were 10 years go. if you eccept,""change" you will be more happy ,there is man that feel the way you do.and man that can never be the way you are.you will find your equal ,have Hope and just be happy.great tings to happen you have to put some work to happen? | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 8:50:08 AM | I'm curious about something...just how many people on this site are actually single? I have a hard time believing everyone is...maybe 50% of them?
What do you think? | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 9:23:11 AM | That's the problem. We meet people "WE" think are perfect in the beginning of a relationship but quite often we IGNORE red flags, we let the relationship move too quickly and in the end we become blinded by love and/or lust.
The red flags are always there. I am guilty of ignoring them myself hoping they would go away. They didn't and I paid for it.
The good thing is I am disciplined enough now to know NEVER to ignore them. It takes more discipline to walk away from a relationship you know is bad for you, but those who can and do are much better off in the long run. | |
|
be150
|
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 13 | |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 9:29:26 AM | "Because most humans are boring, become way to predictable and require an enormous amount of maintenance... eh'"
Jobs are also the same but you stick it out. Or don't you?
I just think the idea of the 'disposable society' is right on target. Yes, that is what we have become. Everyone gives up way to easily because we can get the next and then the next until there is no next any more. We are not willing to do what it takes to keep a relationship, and it takes a lot of work.
It is very sad. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 9:56:10 AM | | Absalutely!! I an very guilting of the ignoring of the red flags that is probably why I get in to deep & fail. I just try to give people a chance .The flags we think are little things at the time turn out to be the things that spoil the whole relationship. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:17:11 AM | ""Jobs are also the same but you stick it out. Or don't you?""
Very solid point, but I dont bring my job home with me, and a job is something we NEED or we cant survive. You can survive alone. Part of my point is, people being boring expect the other to entertain them and give them the big answers for everything,I guess they never learned to think on their own, and in this way they become predictable and simple, which in turn becomes the boring part,"yawn"... I have yet to give up, i've just become disgusted with the whole thing, but like any other human I continue the quest to find a mate. However, as time passes I hope we learn from past relationships and how to "interview" without really doing it. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:31:29 AM | your exactky right jub.....some woman get so into the same routine that after a while they say hey.......why do I need that pain in the ass? | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:34:08 AM | well its not for lack of trying.. i have been single/ divorced 7 years and there are so many game players and such out there.. im just lookin for one good guy.. Sweet N Louisiana  | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:45:12 AM | | I choose to be... besides.. at this stage in life.. if im going to get into a relationshipp.. i want a great relationship... untill then.. hopefully i can enjoy some nice dates.. and make new friends. | |
|
| |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:57:53 AM | IN my case, she passed away after 31 years of a great marriage, so I am again single! and not likin' it at all.. 
 | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 11:21:23 AM | HI
To some up what most people seem to be saying on here is that in getting married they have had the three rings??? and now they are a bit cautious
It was an engagement ring 
Then it was the wedding ring 
and finally SUFFEring 
  :roll | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 12:38:48 PM | Because many people are extremely picky, set in their ways, often are skepitical of the people who are sincere, and would be good to them. I understand it to some degree, but ultimately if your serious about meeting someone, b/c going through life alone, is not the most comforting feeling for most, you must be willing to take a chance.
In all honesty, since breaking up with the person I was with, b/c she was wishy washy too, after having a consistent stream of responses on some other sites, I have been receiving next to nothing, except scams, or mail order brides. I have actually done better on this site lately. I am still dating a person I met here, but its one those very slow prospects, but she might be worth waiting for, we have been out 3 times, but in a month. But its not real serious by any means, and time will tell.
All i can say is many people, and we all have preferences, are expecting, or looking for someone, or something that does not exist, there are no fairy tales, or its so rare you have a better chance at winning a $50 million lotto. Real realtionships take 100% from each side, everyone wants to be with someone they find attractive, but looks are only part of it, and they do fade. I have been told by many that my troubles are not for a lack of looks, perhaps height. What I do lack, I dont have that "sweep you off your feet charisma" intially, but people who have stuck with me, find I am for real, am one of the best listeners a woman will ever find, have a sense of humor, personality, and know how to get it done in the bedroom. But, I think intially I lack that insta charm, that why I have struggled, usually its the people that come to me first, that I hit it off with. I think a lot of the guys with that, are the ones who turn out to be the guys you dont want.
At the risk of sounding arrogant, theres no reason I should still be single. I am not the best, or best looking guy to walk the face of this earth, but I lot give some one, and I hav always been faithful. A lot of it is my fault, for taking all this for granite up until 2 years ago, so I got in the game a bit late. I learned the hard way, but I know one these times it will happen, it will be the one, and you will never see me on another dating site again. You can take that to the bank.
Thanks! | |
|
Home
login 
