| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:21:08 AM | | I got married pretty young. I was married for ten years. I experienced different things sexually with my ex only. I was married with children and obviously, I am not a virgin. So, the question is: Why do men ask about your past and then get angry? Do you tell them or don't you and is it any of their business? | |
|
ya472
|
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 2 | |
| |
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:31:54 AM | | Looks like you've got a special one... It doesn't matter what you did before with your life, except that you should keep the same tempo with your family. This is so fun to see how people do not get the meaning of life. I wouldn't ask everything about the past life of my girlfriend... especially when half of her life is gone... I would appear more like a psycho man... looking for each details of what she did... and playing the control freak in punishing her... sorry, this is sick to me... | |
|
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:38:13 AM | Many people view one's past as the absolute indicator to who they are at the present. They do no take into account hat people as well as times change. In some case people don't but I would like to think that most people will at the very least.
Men in general if they are coming out a bad relationship or have been burned in the apst have a hard time accepting anyone for thier past as they have not accepted thier own and let the past be just that the past. Thye would rather hold you hostage for the decisions of your past then accpet that they have made you the person you are and that they like who you are rather than the person you were in the past.
It is a sad place to be and if you are in that kind of a situation my advice is to shut that door and look for the open window that most likely opened shortly there after ....
 | |
|
ulao
|
Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 5 | |
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:41:14 AM | Great question.!
Most men fear certain answers. Some ask just in hopes they will here what they want to here. It's a bit like the "am I fat" question. Growing up will fix this nothing else. I think I was like that around 18 or so when I did that. Best advice to him, is don't ask what you are not prepared for. For you, either Lie ( I don't suggest that, but it's a option) or just ask him "Why would you want to know something like that", "What we did we did, we learn from it, lets move on and make are own memories" | |
|
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:41:27 AM | Most men want sexually experienced virgins.....
Men will never stop competing, measuring in the shower, etc.... we need to think we are the phantom lover of our generation and will never even consider the possibility that someone else in your entire past could have rocked your world like we can.
Basic male insecurity... | |
|
| |
| |
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:50:42 AM | Sorry Pal, I've never wished a virgin... because the virginity is not a pleasant experience. Maybe for the dominator it is a good experience. The same type who is going to ask about the past and get angry...
There is no competition in making life miserable to a woman. The insecurity... cannot be compare to a sick minded male. | |
|
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:51:58 AM | I never asked. She said she was a virgin and I believed her. Of course I had occasional doubts. I mean, she had been married before for some 20 years and had three children, but ... lol
Why would I or anyone care? She chose to be with me now. | |
|
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:52:21 AM |
Why do men ask about your past and then get angry? Do you tell them or don't you and is it any of their business?
My answer also applies to women asking about her man's past.
It's a stupid question. One ought to get a sense of their partner's past just with common sense and their current experiences. Also, if your partner offers the information, fine keep your ears open. Otherwise, if one has doubts about their partner's past from just learning about them, why are they together with them? That's my $0.02. | |
|
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:52:29 AM |
Most men want sexually experienced virgins.....
Men will never stop competing, measuring in the shower, etc.... we need to think we are the phantom lover of our generation and will never even consider the possibility that someone else in your entire past could have rocked your world like we can.
Basic male insecurity...
I fully concur! | |
|
| |
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:55:18 AM | EastSideEddie ...
Damn well put ... Although it is a big thing for the average male to wrap his head around ... The fact that he is not the greatest love she might have been with ??? How could say something like that ???
But if he really cares and wants to be that person then he is going to analyse it and try to be the best that he can be for her. And that is still an honourable thing to try and be. But if he goes too far than it is not cool either ... So it all in moderation and communication to make that one work ...
| |
|
| |
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 11:02:32 AM | Probably for many of the same reasons that women do it. ;) I have two guesses/theories.
I think one of the reasons is that when two people first meet and fall for each other, there's that phase where everything is perfect; they don't have morning-breath, their farts don't stink, etc etc. But as time goes on and the honeymoon phase ends, each person starts seeing the others' imperfections. And having a.... what shall we call it.... colorful sexual past is for many people off-putting. For example, most guys would think much less of a woman who admitted to sleeping with her college football team at an after-game party, just as most women (I think) would find it very unattractive if a guy talked about how he worked his way through a brothel one night. Yes, I understand that these are extreme examples, but I'm using them to illustrate a point, which is that for most people engaging in these extreme activities is unattractive in a mate. So when a person learns about things in the other's past with which they're not comfortable, they respond negatively.
One of the other reasons is as somebody else already said, insecurity: Al and Betty are in a relationship. Al learns about Charley, somebody in Betty's past. 'A' may fear that 'B' will either have stronger feelings for 'C' (I think more of a concern for women) or that 'C' was better (more satisfying) in bed than 'A' is (more of a concern for men).
EDIT: A clarification on my first point: the line between what is "acceptable" and what isn't changes for each person, depending on their own experiences. So your yardstick may be very different than your partners. | |
|
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 11:11:51 AM | | Some questions are appropriate, such as asking a person to get STD tested, but beyond that -- it's really up to you what you reveal based on the nature of your comfort level and what you feel is acceptable. | |
|
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 11:13:22 AM | I should clarify, I used the word angry but it is more like they start analyzing.
Do you mean angry, or analyzing, or judging ?
Are you confusing the words ?
We men are analytical beings often times and we are often capable of thinking about something without personalizing it. Just because we wonder about you doesn't mean we are judging you.
Any man who would judge you or get angry with you over your past sexual peccadillo's is an obvious bum and needs to be avoided.
Personally, I don't care what any woman does with anyone else, or what she used to do with someone else. Other peoples sex lives are the most boring thing in the world. I really only care about what she does with me. Or, doesn't do, which is most often the case. | |
|
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 1:51:49 PM | Some NOT ALL some men get that - I wouldn't call angry - but that wierd uncomfortable "I'm happy I asked but darn it! I don't really wanna hear it cause it makes me uncomfortable" type of look.
It's funny, cause then sometimes they'll ask AGAIN - and then it's like "wait wait stop don't tell me anymore!"
I've never been married, no kids plants or pets. I'm 32 and yea - do I have stories - so if you don't wanna know - don't ask or you might just get "uncomfortable" ha ha ha
However, serious side - sometimes things just aren't meant to be told and I do believe those items fall into the "it never happened, heck no way buddy, or hey now it's none of your business" category. Judgement call. I figure if it has ANYTHING to do with sex - leave as much out as possible...
*shrugs* | |
|
daisie
|
Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 20 | |
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 2:03:49 PM | I think people who ask questions but don't want asnwers are basically retarded.
But that's allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll cool......when this happens it tells me A LOT about him and personally I'm not into datin no retarded guys....so it's a good red flag and signal to prepare to ditch him.
ON the other hand, a lot of your life is your personal private business. YOU determine where your lines are.....jsut because some dork asks you questions does not mean you have to answer. I'm not saying to lie, but you can politely and FIRMLY let him know that some things are not open for discussion. Again, if he has a problem with that........good warning sign for you...prepare to ditch!!
Unless you like psycho drama kings. I DO NOT!!!!
 | |
|
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 2:11:04 PM | My standard response when asked is "I don't talk about other relationships with ANYONE including you. It's a privacy and trust issue between me and anyone in my past and I'm not in the position to betray that trust." So far it's worked well and that is how I honestly feel. If a man kept on insisting on asking I'd tell him to take a walk.
 | |
|
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 2:14:07 PM | Like Serenity, I have a standard answer: Why do you ask?
I don't kiss and tell. It's pointless and is used for argument later on. I used to give honest answers, but soon discovered that men seem intimidated by the men in my past ~ no need to go that route. My men friends are constantly whining to me about "her" past lovers. It's simply a wasted conversation in my opinion.  | |
|
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 2:16:27 PM | In any situation we are all dofferent and our past histories are also different,As for me i feel that what happened in my past is no ones buisness in fact not even mine anymore as i truly dont want to remember and it has been 5 years now and in this time it has faded so much,But if the new person in ones life would like to ask vice versa if things are going ok and we both have a great understanding and great ears and thought,then theer should be no reason for anger hoping its not towards you,Plus i feel yesterday was then today is now tomorrow is not heer yet so what will be will be,Tis time to be mature and all grown up and enjoy the time we have left,After 44 i feel life is way to short for past thoughts and anger,i hold no anger i just wanna get on with my life,
live for today,
shiloh | |
|
Zain.
|
Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 24 | |
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/5/2006 2:24:39 PM | because he heard something he didn't want to hear stupidity on his part really. If he didn't wanna know he shouldn't have asked. I would not be interested in hearing about my gf's past. regarding things lik sex. It's information I really don't care to know.It also would be a major turn off if she just started telling me about her previous sexual experiences without me even asking her. I just think it's really tacky.
"Most men want sexually experienced virgins....."
That sounds like an oxy moron.. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
