| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 12/7/2006 10:14:58 AM | What would anyone do when they {HONESTLY} think their friend may be dating an indiv. that just seems to have a lot of secrets to hide? I care a lot about my friend (our sons are also in the same class at school so it affects them too) and only want the best for them (whether or not they want to take it that way). No I don't want their significant other either. Not what this is about. Gut feeling just won't go away about this. Thanks 4 your in-put on this matter.
 2 you all | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 12/7/2006 11:04:36 AM | | She's only dating him right? I don't think this is too huge a threat unless you suspect these "secrets" are dangerous. Everyone has secrets, respect his, he might turn out to be a decent guy. Gotta have more evidence than a gut feeling. My "gut feelings" don't serve me to well. | |
|
| |
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 12/7/2006 5:34:06 PM | I learned a long time ago that you should always keep your opinions to yourself. When I was 21 I told a very dear friend of his girlfriends infidelities. She had actually confided in me and told me straight out she had cheated on him on many occasions. He had been in great despair and even told me all he wanted to know was the truth and that is when I told him. Later she had then spun things against me and he put aside our friendship in favor of marrying her. I'm not sure what became of them, but I have never spoke to my best friend since. Best thing you can do is support your friend and keep your mouth shut.
God Bless | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 12/7/2006 5:51:06 PM | Absolutely agree that you should stay out of it, been there and done that.
The ensuing madness that will occur if you get involved is not going to help anyone, and you'll probably lose a friend in the process. | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 12/8/2006 5:03:52 AM | I have to agree with the others,,,,UNTIL,,,you get something more concrete that is absolute proof and then if i were you,,i would tell your freind. You know your friend better than any of us and i know mine and i know for a fact that if i had absolute proof that the man she was dating was involved in something illegal or was married or something along those lines,,she would definitely want to know and not be kept in the dark only to be humiliated later on.
If his 'secret(s)' were harmless like maybe he liked to wear womens underwear (lol) or something else that wouldnt put her life in danger or hurt her,,id not say anything.
Good luck.  | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 12/8/2006 2:27:51 PM | For all who responded... thank-you! I have not gotten involved and I will let them learn the hard way if necessary. I will always leave my door to friendship open and should it be a hard lesson to learn.... I won't and never will pour salt on an open wound.
I too want proof before i jump the gun on the matter. Out for now | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 12/8/2006 9:29:10 PM | One can never be too careful. Ive always found that my gut instinct is right.. especially when it would come to something with my children when they were younger. I was right on the $ EVERY time.. (with me.. Im not so good at that gut level thing- cuz my emotions get in the way).. but when it comes to others..my instincts are much better! Im sorry- dont mean to re-open this.. but... I dont think it would hurt a thing for you to do some subtle checking on your own. Do a background check on this person.. WITHOUT telling your friend. If nothing else.. you may spend a few bucks to give you piece of mind and know your friend is safe. Much better than sounding the alarm without cause, and risking a friendship. If you DO find something.. THEN deciding how to handle it is another topic...  | |
|
| |
| |
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 10/19/2008 7:33:52 AM | OHH.. i rarely like the ones my good friends are dating..
I dont tell them they shouldnt be dating that person..
I may say.. eh.. dont like him.. but love you kinda thing. But never make it personal.. Dont pick him apart.. ive said things like.. "you can do better.. but im glad your enjoying yourself"
My friends know i can still get along with said guy.. even if i think hes a buttwipe. | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 10/19/2008 8:13:02 AM | ahhh.....when we are in the 'middle' of a relationship, we don't always think straight.....our friends try their best to 'enlighten' us......but we are not always listening....'we know better' 
I TG for all my friends who have used up their 'wet blankets' on my behalf......too bad I just threw them in the dryer......
Your friends really DO have the 'best perspective'......and I so appreciate all those I refused to listen to..... | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 10/19/2008 12:35:23 PM | Hmmm....... there are 2 answers here....
If you are a man..... normally means it's not our place to get involved.....
If you are a woman..... well the network of women needs updating, doesn't it? Chances are it won't be a secret for long.....  | |
|
| |
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 10/19/2008 4:54:30 PM |
tony, tony, tony.....are you implying women talk too much? jo
Well too much is relative. Women talk more than men in general. So nope not implying at all. A fact is a fact  | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 10/20/2008 7:45:36 AM | OP:
Personally, I'd start casually pointing out where there are things that make you go "Hmm". Like, "I wonder why he doesn't talk much about work". Or, "I wonder why he always likes to keep his tuesday's open." These are just enough to get the neurons firing for your friend, but not accusations or "prying". Your friend might get the idea to investigate a bit and find out where the skeletons are. Or, she might find something truly endearing that makes you both feel better. | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 10/20/2008 8:28:54 AM | tony, what am i going to do with you? we need to talk. and let's talk a lot
ahahahahahahahhah
 jo | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 10/20/2008 8:51:32 AM | | Do you ever notice.. when your talking to some men.. they get this wierd look in thier eyes.. and they go into autonod mode? you hear.. mmm hmmm.. mmm hmmm.. at all the right moments.. but somethings wrong in the eyes | |
|
| |
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 10/20/2008 9:57:37 AM | | If we have that weird look in our eyes,nodding and saying uh huh all the time....what do you think it means! Your probably doing all the talking and it's probably all about you ,we probably can't get a word in edge wise and your going on and on and on and on. What was the question? Oh yeah,we are nodding cause either we are undressing you with them crazy eyes of ours or we are thinking about getting a gun and blowing our heads off because of the relentless jabber whew..I feel better. Next quetion...got anything Jo. | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 10/20/2008 5:40:06 PM | OMG
UM that could get a few ladies ready to attack....
But I think blowing your head off might be a little drastic.... | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 10/20/2008 6:00:11 PM | ed and tony, i could never harm you guys. i guess i could use the bait and switch method...
 jo | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 10/21/2008 2:26:08 PM | Oh and what would that bait be? and what would the switch be?
I have never much fallen for those bait and switch deals. | |
|
| Very concerned friend here
Posted: 10/21/2008 4:16:28 PM | | well, i could be nice to you (bait you), then once i got a hold of you fishies, i'd switch into jekyll & hyde mode. you know how some women can be jo | |
|
Yma67
|
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 25 | |
| |
Home
login 
jo
