| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 7:28:40 AM | I have noticed that the men I don't want to be with are the one's calling me 10 times a day, even after telling them just friends. The one's I like and try to be with by being available when they call or email, tend to run. This happens even if they contacted me first. can anyone tell me what I should do. Im thinking about ignoring the one I like.... | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 8:16:38 AM | Me personally? I'm not attracted to women who play the hard to get game...
If they make themselves available to me, and I like them, I will move forward. If I like them, but they want me to jump through hoops, goodbye...
Some men probably like the chase...
Maybe the guys you like simply don't reciprocate... If they are interested in you, can't see why they would run...
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domo32
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Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 3 | |
| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 8:19:24 AM | im not more attracted to women that are hard get I pefer a women who hits on me and shows interest just for the simple fact that. In the past i have been friends with girls and hit on them and thought they were interested and they werent so im not hitting on anyone first for a bit at least till im desperate lol  | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 8:30:04 AM | When I read the profiles of women, one recurring comment that many of them make is that they don't want game players. Isn't playing hard to get playing a game? If so, then why is it alright for women?
I personally don't want a woman to play hard to get. Either she's interested, or she's not. Don't lead a guy on by playing the hard to get game. You might end up missing out on a really decent guy. If a guy runs when you show interest, then he wasn't interested in "you" to begin with. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 8:52:42 AM |
but he contacted me first?
If he was truly interested, he would not run...
Either these men are not interested, or are playing games... Neither of which you want, right?
I can't speak for these men, but sometimes on these sites men get so frustrated emailing women and getting rejected, they feel the need to step down a notch, and contact women who are lower on their personal attractiveness meter. Then they talk with these less attractive women and eventually lose interest because there simply is not enough attraction...
It's happened to me a few times... You try to settle for something less than what you want, to at least be able to talk to some women, but you realize it's just fake, and not what you’re looking for, etc... | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 9:11:51 AM | Games bad.
Sometimes what appears to be a game on one side - "hard to get" - is actually borderline indifference by the other side. Sometimes its not a game or facade.
That said, I have no interest at all in that stuff. It was fun in high school. But I've graduated. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 9:41:55 AM | | I'm a busy guy,so I have no time for women who play hard to get. I'd rather have someone who truly wants to date. It's unfortunate though when guys don't take the hint. If a woman tells me she's not interested in dating,that's it. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 10:03:15 AM | Well, I toss two little things in here.
You say "the ones I like and try to be with by being available when they call or email". I hope you don't mean that you're sitting there waiting by the phone for them to call, because for myself anyways I don't really want a woman who is sitting around patiently waiting for me to call... have a life, do what you want, if you happen to be there great, if you aren't thats ok too. But don't try to put a guy on a 'pedestal' by being the "stereotypical" (does this really happen) woman waiting by the phone getting upset because he doesn't call. Most guys don't want that.
The 2nd one, to the same quote... if you aren't around, and he calls, and leaves a message, are you calling back? Or are you sitting around waiting for him to call again? If I call a woman and get her machine and leave a message, and she calls me back, and genuninely is interested in getting together, etc, that would be far more of a sign to me that she's #1, got a life, and #2, wants to try and fit me into that life. Rather than the above, which is more giving the impression that she wants to "make me her life".
The former has tones of desperation/dependance, the latter speaks of independence and yet desire to have you in their life. Neither is "ignoring" the person, but they send very different messages. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 10:14:15 AM | Playing hard to get is game playing and a waste of time.
If they're interested in you by just being yourself then that's who you want to be with.
Bottom line, no need for a big long explanation.
It's just.....that......simple !
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 10:29:17 AM |
I can't speak for these men, but sometimes on these sites men get so frustrated emailing women and getting rejected, they feel the need to step down a notch, and contact women who are lower on their personal attractiveness meter. Then they talk with these less attractive women and eventually lose interest because there simply is not enough attraction...
Am I now to assume any man who contacts me has lowered their personal attractiveness meter (code name: PAT) ? The perverts who contact me aren't even attracted to me? I don't know whether to laugh or cry.... | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 10:36:02 AM | It sounds like whatever you're doing is all backwards.
Let the guy know you like him...don't beat around the bush. Just tell him...get it off you're chest. You don't have to confess your undying love to him. Just let him know you like spending time with him. After that...then go about your business...balls in their court. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 11:49:59 AM | Am I now to assume any man who contacts me has lowered their personal attractiveness meter (code name: PAT) ? The perverts who contact me aren't even attracted to me? I don't know whether to laugh or cry....
It's another thing to think about... It's happend to me on many of these sites. You start emailing the very attractive women first, then work your way down the PAT (lol) as time goes on, as the rejections pile up...
I bet there are women out there who do the same, want to talk/email because they are lonely, etc... And end up leading a guy on...
Code name PAT, that's friggin priceless! | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 11:59:31 AM | Every woman has had a man pursue her, only to lose interest when she tries to be available to them all of the time. A woman will overcompensate, giving everything to a man she barely knows, without having him invest much in the relationship. Woman tend to want to please, and she will give blindly because she wants so much for her attentions to be reciprocated. Many times she will go along with what we think her man will like or want because she wants to keep the relationship at all cost. Every woman, at some point, has been there.
Men need a mental challenge and a mental challenge is a woman who does not appear to be too needy. This isn't about how to play a game or how to manipulate someone. This is about whether you are genuinely needy, or whether you can genuinely show him that you'll be an equal partner in the relationship. It's about whether you are capable of holding your own in a relationship.
What would happen if you let him know from day one that you are willing to bend over backward? He'd think you're desperate, and he'd want to see just how far you'd be willing to bend. It's human nature. He'd immediately start to test the waters. The more malleable you'd become, the more he'd expect you to bend. He'll instantly perceive you as a Duracell batter, as in, "Just how far will she go? How much can I get out of her?"
Overcompensating or being too eager to please will lessen a man's respect; it will give the kiss of death to his attraction, and it will put a time limit on the relationship.
If a woman were to chase a man in a black nightie, first he'll have sex with her..and then he'll run. Why does a man run from a situation like this one? He runs because the woman's behavior doesn't suggest that she places a high value on herself. The relationship is new, and the bond between them is relatively shallow. Yet she's already dealt him her best card.
The fact that she is willing to overcompensate to a virtual stranger immediately suggest on of two things. He'll either assuem she is desperate, or he'll assume she is willing to sleep with all men right away. Or both. What gets lost is his appreciation for her extra effort. Once a man begins to lose respect for a woman because she is willing to subtly devalue herself, he will also lose the desire to get closer to her.
When you are playing the role of "the friend" (to a guy you aren't attracted to) you won't kill yourself to impress him. This is why he falls in love with the girl who doesn't serve a four-course meal. You give him a bowl of popcorn, and he says "boy am I special!". it doesn't matter if it's pasta with Ragu topped by a meat-ball you picked up at the orner deli. He'll say "This is the best pasta I've had in my life!" Now he feels like a king. And the only difference is the amount of time and effort he had to invest, First! He didn't get it all right up front, and he appreciated it more.
So bottom line is...In general, the mental challenge has to do with whether you expect to be respected. It also has to do with him knowing that you're not afraid to be without him. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 1:21:19 PM |
Every woman has had a man pursue her, only to lose interest when she tries to be available to them all of the time.
This is just so wrong. I'm not saying its not accurate that a guy loses interest after pursuing a woman, but it has nothing to do with the availability of the woman. Just read what the men have said in this thread. Granted, it's not a big sample size, but not one man has said they are interested in women who play hard to get. Understand this: guys do NOT want women who play hard to get. If they lose interest in pursuing a woman, there is some other reason. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 1:39:01 PM | Goodness....how can people judge when someone is "playing a head game/playing hard to get?"
What about those people who are shy? Some come across as being stuck up, others as not interested.
Then there are the people who have had a major change/upheaval in their life and are trying to get their sh*t together....are you going to judge them as game players because they don't have the time/energy to reply to your email/phone call?
There is something to be said about a person who tries to make a connection once or twice and then gives up. There is also a thing called HONESTY....something that seems to be lacking in our society (sigh).
Think about it.
Cheryl | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 1:44:46 PM | | It's not a matter of "playing hard to get", it's a matter of self respect. If a woman shows a man, she Barely knows that they are just waiting for their call, or their e-mail, ... or that the world revolves around Him, then men lose interest ,because they have lost all respect. It's all about maintaining your respect, and your life, which doesn't stop because some cute guy has entered the picture. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 1:45:04 PM | | I think there are equally both men and woman that are attracted to people who are emotionaly unavailable. There could be a multitude of reasons for this but I think the main reason they are attracted to this type is because they are afraid of committment. If they were to chase a man or woman who was emotionaly available then they would have to pick up the ball or bolt. Chase a man or woman who is emotionaly vacant and it's a safe bet you'll never have to deal with the committment issue. What is a relationship without any level of committment...a dead end and exactly what people who have maturity issues are looking for. | |
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fflyer
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Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 20 | |
| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 1:46:02 PM | Play is the key word here. Is the woman playing games with the man or is the man the one playiing games with the woman. The again it may be it is all nothing but a game. If I meet a lady who sees to show interest in me, and I realy like her I will respond in a respectable manner. If I show interest in a lady first and she responds by indicating a similar interest then I see a good foundation to build from. It is all a case of both partiens being on the same page and really have a mutual degree of interest. If both parties are being honest, have a similar levels of interest and still plays games is either not really serious about developing a relationship or already has one and is simply exploring new options. ladies respond in a way you feel comfortable. If he is the right guy, he will show his equal interest. Just don't smother him. There is a difference is showing interest and making your guy feel like you are a blood hound in heat. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 1:51:39 PM | If they want to play headgames, it shows a bit of immaturity on their part.
The only thing I can suggest is be black and white and upfront.
If they don't like what you have to say than that could be part of answer.
If you are to the point with them than they will either be to the point with you or you won't hear from them again.
Anyway you go about it you will get your answer.
Dee | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 2:11:16 PM | Reasons for a man to lose interest:
1) She's clingy, insecure
2) She's a 'drama queen' (creating drama, even if there is none)
3) Doesn't feel she's really interested
4) Thinks she's playing "games"
5) She's focused on money (golddigger)
6) Constantly finding "flaws" with him, and telling him.
7) Personality wise, you don't mesh, and he's just plain old not interested.
I'm sure others could add to that. Note that "playing hard to get" is going to fall into either #3 or #4, either way he's going to lose interest.
#6 I suppose could be "lack of appreciation".
I remember hearing somewhere "men want to be appreciated, women want to be cherished". | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 2:17:56 PM | | I'm not more attracted to women that play hard to get. They're probably attached and misrepresenting themselves and not capable of saying they're totally not interested. They just lead guys on to feed their ego and play to get the guys goat or waiting for the guy to offer money. If there is no chance and it will never happen, it's not hard to say and should be said. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 2:32:19 PM | Don't you just love it when a woman pretends to be an expert on a man?
"Men need a mental challenge and a mental challenge is a woman who does not appear to be too needy."
Needy is one thing. Playing games like "hard to get" are for children. Relationships are for grown-ups.
"If a woman were to chase a man in a black nightie, first he'll have sex with her..and then he'll run."
Firstly, why a guy would be wearing a black nightie is a bit of a peculiar image, but hey... whatever floats your boat.
Point is, though, that it's no secret that a good man likes a woman who is confident in herself. That confidence may very well be evidenced by her taking the sexual lead. If that means a first-night toss, then so be it.
In short, what I read from delivered1's post is the old, "Treat'em like dirt and they'll treat you like a queen."
A good man won't tolerate such nonsense. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 2:58:55 PM | Nowhere Man
Notice the word "ALL OF THE TIME"? Definition: Lack of self-respect, if she is willing to dedicate all of HER time to someone she barely knows.
travellingbug:
Pay attention here kid, what I said was “This isn't about how to play a game or how to manipulate someone. “ and then went on to say “If a woman were to chase a man in a black nightie,(you might want to wear it, but sorry there bud,… it’s on HER) first he'll have sex with her..and then he'll run. Why does a man run from a situation like this one? He runs because the woman's behavior doesn't suggest that she places a high value on herself.”
Now I know this could be a tough one for you, travellinbug, but the word of the day is “Value yourself”, girls. If you are jumping into the old sack with someone you barely know, whether you’ve known him for one month, two months, three and so on. Get to know each other before you start dedicating your life to someone you Don’t Know and aren‘t Married to! Value yourself, Don’t sit by the phone. Value yourself, don’t rush out the door when the schumuck decides that he Suddenly wants to go out at 10:00 at night. (translation “you’re back-up”). This is about respecting yourself, learning to value yourself and how to stop rushing into something with someone that you’ve just met! It’s not about Games and Definitely not about treating people badly.
In short what I read from travellingbug is that He does Not know how to read a clear cut sentence without slicing and dicing it so that it sounds like the muck that he wants to hear, nor does he have the comprehend how to court a woman, or treat her with the God given respect she deserves! | |
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