| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 4:33:21 AM | Wow, i had an interesting experience. A girl i met on another site and i had been talking for some time now and she suggested we meet up the other morning. Our online relationship seemed pretty amazing, very affectionate.
Well to cut it short, we did meet up, her pictures did not do her justice and instantly there was a lot of passion, ended up putting on a big show in front of a major mall entrance.
She wanted to go back to my place, which took a while, the whole way back she kept hugging me and we were saying really loving things to each other and seemed very happy, put on another show on the bus :P (never done that)
Got back to my place, the instant we get in the door she says quietly "yesss!" and within 2 minutes she's pushing me down and well, we had sex, for about 4 hours. Best ever for me. I didn't think what happened was even possible.
We cuddled for quite a while after that and we mutally decided that we were gonna be changing our status online. to taken....
Well after i got her on the bus to where she needed to go, she hasn't talked to me and is ignoring me. Won't answer her cell or respond to emails or msn msgs.
The thing is, we were sure we wanted to date before we even met in person. Just wasn't sure about the physical side, which ended up being amazing. I find her extremely attractive.
Out of my league attractive, i could say.
To be honest, a fair bit younger than me too. I'm wondering if maybe she just wanted to have sex with an older guy and when she got it, she had no further use for me.
But , she seemed so genuine in her love. I miss her very much, my friends, even the female ones are like "be happy, you did a hot young woman" and "a young hottie used you for sex, you go guy"
The thing i liked most about being with her, was the way we sat on the subway and how she wouldn't let me go. holding her. It made all the crap in my life melt away, i felt in those moments that life wasn't gonna beat me, that nothing could.
Now i don't know what to think.
I know life goes on and "theres plenty of fish out there" that i will be fine, but when you find someone you just have that much chemistry with...
Just wanted to get this off my chest and to hear what my fellow POFers think. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 4:52:43 AM | | Well, I think women have this happen to them all the time...I know you wonder what the...my guess is she is actually in a relationship in which sex is not the big deal...or she wanted your baby? | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 4:57:26 AM | hi i no were you are comin from ,i hav been let down this week by some one i feel for right from the start and it hurts a lot, they tell you what they think we wont to hear ,i no it is hard coz im tryin to do it my self and forget about the person .
we must tell our selfs we are better than them and some day will find what we are lookin for in a person i hope she hasnt hurt you to much and will make you think all of us ladys are like it coz we are not, there is the odd ones out there that are lookin for more than just sex and one day you will find her just dont give up hun just learn from it and dont jump in to bed to fast then you no, if they are willin to wait that they wont you for more than just SEX cant belive i am sayin this i should lison to my own advise i think, lol take care
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 4:59:35 AM |
Well, I think women have this happen to them all the time...I know you wonder what the...my guess is she is actually in a relationship in which sex is not the big deal...or she wanted your baby?
This is why i'm never part of doing this to women. I figured it would suck, but part of me as a guy always thought, it would be cool to be used for sex. It's not. Especially since i really have feelings for her.
She was extremely intense, without getting crude lets just say i've never seen a love scene in any movie as intense.
If anything good came out of this, it's that i can emphathise with women a bit better. Oh and my 20 year dry spell is now over lol
I just have this feeling, kinda like being homesick.... for her hugs...
Merry christmas to me i guess lol  | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 5:03:42 AM |
hi i no were you are comin from ,i hav been let down this week by some one i feel for right from the start and it hurts a lot, they tell you what they think we wont to hear ,i no it is hard coz im tryin to do it my self and forget about the person .
we must tell our selfs we are better than them and some day will find what we are lookin for in a person i hope she hasnt hurt you to much and will make you think all of us ladys are like it coz we are not, there is the odd ones out there that are lookin for more than just sex and one day you will find her just dont give up hun just learn from it and dont jump in to bed to fast then you no, if they are willin to wait that they wont you for more than just SEX cant belive i am sayin this i should lison to my own advise i think, lol take care
Hey thanks for the msg, i'm really sorry to hear you are going through it too, but it's nice to know i'm not alone in this. Helps a little. No i would never write off all women, but right now as stupid as this might be, i dont' want anybody but her.
Maybe the sex that soon was a bit of a mistake, but i really got caught up in it. Wanted to give her what she wanted, wanted to make her happy.
Good luck to you. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 5:23:01 AM | but right now as stupid as this might be, i dont' want anybody but her.
no hun it isnot stupied as i only new this feller a couple of days and i fell for him right from the seconde i met him you could say love at frist site it happens i felt so stupied that i let it happend and thought my mates would tell me im stupied but they did they realy stood by me, but if they dont wont us int he way we wont them there is nothing we can do about it but learn and cry not to put other selfs in this situation again
i was going to message you and see if you wont to chat as we are both in the same boat but because you got it on your ocuntry only it wont let me so if you would like to be friends and hav a chat drop me a line
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 5:38:08 AM | | I added you to my favourites. Tried to msg you but it won't let me, sometimes i come across someone on POF that my msgs just go into what i call the black hole. not blocked, they just go nowhere after i hit send. i know right away because it doesn't show up in my sent msgs. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 5:47:44 AM |
she suggested we meet up the other morning .......sounds like the hubby/b/f was off to work.
She wanted to go back to my place .......in case the hubby/b/f came home for lunch.
Sounds to me like she was after an 'intimate encounter' more than anything. Sleeping with a woman on your first meeting.....now really, you could get yourself a name for doing that.....women do!
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 6:04:50 AM | I seriously doubt a woman anywhere near your age would have hopped off a bus and nearly did you at the public entrance to a mall, unless she was getting paid for it. This tells me she was very young. How young?
Some of these very young girls missed out on love and approval from their fathers, and they are continually looking for it. They are affection starved and use sex and all the cuddling/affection that goes along with it as a substitution, but it leaves them feeling empty and sometimes dirty once they're away from the person....until the next one comes along. Sad really. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 6:14:02 AM |
she suggested we meet up the other morning
.......sounds like the hubby/b/f was off to work.
I guess anything is possible.
.......in case the hubby/b/f came home for lunch.
Sounds to me like she was after an 'intimate encounter' more than anything. Sleeping with a woman on your first meeting.....now really, you could get yourself a name for doing that.....women do!
lol i suppose i could. though i have a ways to go before i earn it. I just broke an extremely long "dry spell" that goes back longer than I care to mention. I've always hated women being labeled like that and now that i did what i did, i hate it even more so, it's a label given by ignorant judgmental people. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 6:41:27 AM | | Dude suck it up man....You were used for sex ..so what. You were nailed by a youger woman. You gave her what she wanted and had a good time doing it. The whole world does this. I would'nt care about what the other lame losers are saying. words are words and if some one wants to judge you thats there problem to deal with. People who are fast to judge are guilty them selves. Hey and it's normal to think about her all the time. She blew your mind. real wild cat eh!! | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 6:43:10 AM | | Give your head a shake! If she was out of your league attractive, ya you were used. What did u think you would have in common a girl that young. Ya sex would be about it. Men do it everyday, and women are always left thinking WTF. Oh well can use the moto, the only way to forget her is to replace her. (might have better luck with someone your own age instead of shopping for a trophy to show your friends) | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 6:57:37 AM |
I seriously doubt a woman anywhere near your age would have hopped off a bus and nearly did you at the public entrance to a mall, unless she was getting paid for it. This tells me she was very young. How young?
Some of these very young girls missed out on love and approval from their fathers, and they are continually looking for it. They are affection starved and use sex and all the cuddling/affection that goes along with it as a substitution, but it leaves them feeling empty and sometimes dirty once they're away from the person....until the next one comes along. Sad really.
As i said in my first post she is a fair bit younger than me. Shame that women seem to lose that as they get older. It was kinda nice. It wasn't crazy sexual, just very romantic. i've seen people kissing like that a few times in public. But it's never been me.
I can understand what you are saying about the rest, might partly explain her big change in demenour when she left. Seemed like she was distracted. But when she was about to get on the bus, she kissed me a few more times.
Now i have another element to think about, worrying about her meeting with someone that could be dangerous. :S | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:01:11 AM |
Dude suck it up man....You were used for sex ..so what. You were nailed by a youger woman. You gave her what she wanted and had a good time doing it. The whole world does this. I would'nt care about what the other lame losers are saying. words are words and if some one wants to judge you thats there problem to deal with. People who are fast to judge are guilty them selves. Hey and it's normal to think about her all the time. She blew your mind. real wild cat eh!!
Yeah, i'm sucking it up. lol It was an amazing experience. The ironic thing is, i haven't had sex in soooo long mostly because i was paranoid of the possibility of hurting a woman, by having sex without love. I never wanted to use for sex, but i ended up getting used for sex. I'm just gonna chalk it up to an amazing encounter.
Thanks for the words man. Those who judge weren't there and have no idea. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:08:34 AM |
Now i have another element to think about, worrying about her meeting with someone that could be dangerous. :S
Well, if she is using sex as a substitute for love that she's missed/misssing, it might take an unpleasant encounter before she wises up, or it might take a man who is able to take control and slow down the sexual part to make her know that she is worthy of love without giving herself up instantly.
Oh, and women don't lose their sex drive as they get older. lol They're just not likely to hop off a bus and start making out with someone they just met. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:12:47 AM |
Give your head a shake! If she was out of your league attractive, ya you were used. What did u think you would have in common a girl that young. Ya sex would be about it. Men do it everyday, and women are always left thinking WTF. Oh well can use the moto, the only way to forget her is to replace her. (might have better luck with someone your own age instead of shopping for a trophy to show your friends)
That was just me putting myself down, i don't do it very much these days, but i still slip at times. Replace her? Nobody could replace her, but i will move on.
She wasn't a trophy, not to me. I didn't care if anybody seen us together, but the way she loved to be held and seemed so content was nice. Her passion for being with me, that i could say how much she meant to me and it really moved her. I really liked that.
Someone my age isn't the answer. I'm not ready for what someone my age wants. I have been painfully shy my whole life and have only in the last few years really come out of my shell. I have to grow in some ways and i need someone who can grow with me. Not someone who's done it all or most of it already.
Plus i look young, and so does my mom, she looks like someone my age should look and i always get people thinking i'm no older than 23. So when i'm with someone my age, i feel like i'm with one of my moms friends.
My energy level is off the charts too. I'm very much like someone just discovering life. I also want kids, but not for a while yet. Something most women my age have already done and don't want to do again or never want to do.
Call me evil or whatever, but i don't want someone with kids already.
I'm picky, yes.... But i wouldn't do anybody any favours if i wasn't true to myself.
I will have to say though that i fully agree with your words for most guys. i'm not what you call typical though. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:28:49 AM |
Well, if she is using sex as a substitute for love that she's missed/misssing, it might take an unpleasant encounter before she wises up, or it might take a man who is able to take control and slow down the sexual part to make her know that she is worthy of love without giving herself up instantly.
Oh, and women don't lose their sex drive as they get older. lol They're just not likely to hop off a bus and start making out with someone they just met.
I know and that scares me, i care about her very much. I wish i could protect her from it. :S Slow down the sexual part? Something i should have done. Maybe i could have been the one to break the cycle. :(
LOL i know women don't lose the sex drive, but become sooo reserved about it. Well the women i dated my age were anyhow. I'm a passionate person, passionate about who i'm with and i want who i'm with to be passionate about being with me.
I'm a romantic, i like the idea of running into each others arms and forgetting the world around. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:46:26 AM | Well, you're probably right about the reserved part, publicly anyway. Otherwise, we're animals. lol
If she's totally blocked you, there's nothing you can do. Don't be a stalker man. :) But if you do have a chance to chat again, take her somewhere fun and public....indoor rock climbing, roller blading, putt putt.....and enjoy her without the sex. Yeh, I know it'll be tough and she'll likely be climbing all over you again. Have somewhere you absolutely have to be after the "date" so you can resist, but make it clear you are really into her (not literally) and want to see her again. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:51:00 AM | I told her i wanted to take her out somewhere nice, spend the day together out somewhere.
She hasn't blocked me at all, but i have decided to not contact her for a week or so and then if she hasn't contacted me, send her one final email. Letting her know how much i care about her and that i hope she's going to be careful about things and that i will always be ther for her if she needs someone.
I would be just fine not having sex, in fact the part i cherished was us just holding each other. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 1:27:01 PM | OH buddy...I can relate,I was in a relationship where we were friends with benefits,and all I was there for was for her, to lik n go. well that was ok until I started getting feelings for her, we tried to get into a relationship and through time i found that she had little to no respect for me. I was hurt alot. long story short, if sex is all your hookin up for then stay with it.dont think a relationship can be built on sex, it dont work,your never respected after. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 1:33:53 PM | I have also been used. Its awful. Especially when blanked afterwards. I go searching for answers and i dont get them. I feel like a stalker. its so degrading.it really puts me of getting involved again.
I dont believe us women we made for no strings. I cannot detach from any physical stuff. Any tips on how to detach? | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 1:51:23 PM |
Its unfortunate...but it happens....and btw...welcome to "our" world...
Exactly! I definately agree with that. It hurts like hell when there are feelings involved. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/14/2006 3:10:27 PM | | Maybe she didn't realize how old you are. I guess you are just a piece of meat to her and she discarded you when she was done. There are worse things that could have happened, so quit crying about it. | |
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