| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 11:50:25 AM | Shallow? How so?
Let me explain...
My company recently hired a young lady (19 going on 20) to work under me.
She moved to the city almost 2 years ago.
And in that time she broke up with a fiance, and have had several boyfriends.
The thing that gets me is she's complaining she can't find "the one".
All you have to do is look at her habits.
She goes to pubs and clubs hoping to find him.
And she always goes for the "hotties".
I can tell you this, most of the hot looking studs that goes to these places are only looking for one thing and one thing only.
You guessed it!!
But she claims she's not a slut.
And she also doesn't understand why these guys are such jerks!
All nice and friendly and first, and then turn on her as soon as they get a little action.
The thing that puzzles me is I'm one of the nicest guys she's met. She admitted it.
But yet, I'm not her type.
Too old (you think 33 is old?), and a co-worker.
I've asked her several times if we weren't co-workers would she think about it?
She hasn't given me a straight answer.
I don't know what is wrong with me, but I just can't attract women.
Especially in this bloody city.
If you're not 6' tall, muscle-bound, and have a wad of cash in your pocket that could choke a horse, may as well not leave the house.
Thus I'm looking else where.
May the Gods bring me luck on my search. | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 12:01:37 PM | PLEASE, there are so many women that way.....it's no surprise. But they're fast to call a
man shallow because he wants a woman with a nice body. I never figure out that one. | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 12:17:54 PM | Sorry but to a 19 year old 33 is old.
She did say NO when she said you were too old and a co-worker, it was her way of being polite.
When you keep asking and asking it makes you seem desparate and likely creepy.
Both men and women can be shallow. But really why would you date someone you did not find appealing. I would rather people be shallow then see them settle.
And if she is working under you, you behavior to her is completelely wrong. | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 12:27:28 PM | What's wrong with this is... this is a young co-worker and you know way too much.
If I was her and in her position I would have said something to management about your behaviour. And I'm going by what you wrote.
She is young and not tied down to anyone, I'm sure you were the same way when you were around her age.
BTW... she has clearly told you in other words that you and her will never happen. IE- venting to someone about her 'single' life and not taking you up on your offers is one huge hint.
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 12:29:59 PM | It seems to me there are really two issues in this post: a) that women are shallow; and b) that a pretty, young woman isn't interested in you.
a) She's a girl...she's young and having fun. When I was that age, I didn't look twice at 33-year old men either - especially if I worked "under them."
b) You're 33 and you want to find a woman who will appreciate you for who you are. She's 19 or 20 and is flitting around clubs, flirting with "hotties."
The question I have is, if you find her behaviour so distasteful, why do you even want to date her?
Good luck in your search  | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 12:34:11 PM | I don't follow. Are you complaining that good looking and rich guys get laid more often????
I would say ... good looking and fit women get more offers too. It's just a part of the natural selection. | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 1:09:10 PM | I really don't think this is what anyone would call SHALLOW.....she is young and full of herself..still a kid. Don't mess around with young things that can lead around like a dog on a leash panting and sniffing after her...You feel that since she hangs out at the pubs and clubbing it..her morals are open to anyone that crosses her path...
Sounds like she does have limitations and age has a lot to do with it and besides maybe her motto is...never mess around with co workers, managers...etc. GOOD GIRL!! | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 2:01:36 PM | So because she doesn't find you attractive that she is shallow, you do not have a prayer with her so she needs a negative label. I am sure there are women that you come across that you would never think of asking out let alone having a relationship with. Can they call you shallow?
Never get involved with a co-worker, anyway. | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 2:32:41 PM | I never understand how a man can state someone is shallow because of thier dating habits... men are no different...
Just because some man is a nice guy does not mean he is dating material...I find so many men on here complaining in emails about rejection,,,
My question is this if your not that attractive in the "real world" Do women have to jump all over you online....
Lets be realistic here...how do you take care of yourself....If you own animals.. not everyone is into what you are.... and lastly how mature are you..Instead of writing in a forum and complaining about some young girl's sexual dating habits .. you need to see what your doing to make yourself a delight to be with and a all around great person.
I hate the word shallow because its the saying "Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder"...most of us have wonderful personalities and are very compassionite...
However what draws us to someone is the "connect you get" and that has to be mutual..We cannot force another to love us...nor can I be forced to love someone..that happens naturally  | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 3:15:37 PM | | That’s not being shallow…that’s being 19...19 year-olds go to clubs, look for men based on looks (not all of them, but some do, just as some young guys do), and having several boyfriends and a fiancée doesn’t make one a slut. She’s young, hasn’t had a lot of learning experience, and still picks jerks…But at least she‘s smart enough not to date where she works…especially with someone she ’works under’…and you continuing to ask her about it could get you landed with a sexual harassment lawsuit. And yes, 33 is a bit too old for a 19 year-old, IMO…you were 28 when she was 14...and both then and now most likely had much more dating experience under your belt (no pun intended)…Perhaps you can’t attract *women* because you’re setting your sights on *girls* who haven’t done much living yet. Try looking for someone closer to your own age that has some interests in common with you and who doesn’t work with you. | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 3:24:15 PM | | She may be shallow, maybe not... but she's just not into you.. let it go.. She's too young and not yet ready to settle down with anyone. You are over her at work.. not fair to make advances to her in your position.. let it go and look for a more mature woman.. one who does not work with you. | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 3:32:22 PM | Let's see if I read this correctly ( It is Sunday so I don't have my thinkin' cap on). She's 19, she was hired to work under you, That must make you her boss/supervisor. If you continue on this way the only thing you'll be getting is a big old sexual harrassment complaint. Of course that could work in your favor because you would probably get fired then she wouldn't have a problem dating a co-worker.
Shakes head and returns to cookie baking. | |
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mar814
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Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 14 | |
| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 3:36:09 PM | | Maybe she doesn't like you because she picks up on how judgmental you are. And honestly, 33 is kind of old for a 19 year old. | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:29:12 PM | she sounds pretty level headed for a nineteen yr old-to know you don't go out with your boss.
the part i have a problem with is that you say she "claims she's not a slut" what on earth could you have been talking about that would make her feel that she had to justify herself in that way? she's 19. she's not a slut. you are her boss. leave her alone-and stop having these conversations with you or the previous posters are right-you're going to end up with a sexual harrassment complaint | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:26:18 PM | She is shallow because she didn't want to date you - a man almost 15 years older than her, and her employer since she is working under you - Sounds smart and not so shallow to me.
You sound like you are suffering from a bruised ego because she doesn't want you. And a damn good thing....have you never heard of sexual harrassment? Surely you can't be that stupid ....let me lay it out, even if she DID like you - you ask her out, you date her, you sleep with her, etc...things go sour, she can turn around and sue you for sexual harrasssment, even if it was consensual, becuase YOU are her superior and an authority figure at the office...all she has to say is she felt pressured and you are totally screwed, and do you think your company is going to continue to employ you should that happen? I don't think so!....time to start thinking with the brain upstairs!!! Oh, and find a woman your own age, not a little girl! | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 8:26:38 PM | If you're not 6' tall, muscle-bound, and have a wad of cash in your pocket that could choke a horse, may as well not leave the house.
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Croc hunter Steve Irwin was not muscle bound. He was about 5'10, not tall by any means. Towards his death he had built a bit of an empire but he still didn't have massses of cash.
But he had one thing. Celebrity!
Taken to an even greater extreme most of the actors on US sitcoms have not been glamourous. Nor have the likes of Dr Phil. But all of these men can pick and choose.
Once again they have celebrity.
You are right about the women being shallow. They are! | |
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goldn
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Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 18 | |
| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 8:33:03 PM | | lol...if she is so awful....why do you want her? hmmmm....could it be for shallow reasons.....like she is young and hot? hmmmmm....real thinker | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 8:35:49 PM | Dragonfly. Are we even reading the same posting.????
Lets just go through your sanswer shall we?
a) She's a girl...she's young and having fun.
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ON the contary Dragonfly. Go back and re read the original post. She is not "having fun" She has already said that she is seeking 'THE ONE' She isn't flitting the light fantastic. She is seeking the long term commitment.
b) You're 33 and you want to find a woman who will appreciate you for who you are. She's 19 or 20 and is flitting around clubs, flirting with "hotties."
=========================
You still miss the poitn m dear. This girl is grizzling she can't find a quality committed mature guy, around the bars when theres the perfect right man right under her silly nose.
Having said that it's obvious that this girl is way to childish for him untill she learns to sort out her life. | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 10:12:35 PM | ~sigh~
So much for trying to be concise...
Okay sparticuss...I'll expand...
a) The opening complaint of the OP was that women are shallow. My point was that she is young. Not all young people are past what more mature folks consider shallow.
She probably IS having fun until she realizes these guys are jerks. The jerks are responding to her for a reason. In her misguided attempts to find "the one," I doubt she's sitting like a wallflower with a sour look on her face. She's just naive and inexperienced.
b) Nope...I didn't miss the point, but I was misquoted. Actually, I said...
You're 33 and you want to find a woman who will appreciate you for who you are. She's 19 or 20 and is flitting around clubs, flirting with "hotties."
The question I have is, if you find her behaviour so distasteful, why do you even want to date her?
because the OP said...
But she claims she's not a slut.
It sounded to me like he has his doubts...so why would he want to date someone whose morals he questioned?
Having said that it's obvious that this girl is way to childish for him untill she learns to sort out her life.
No argument there...but again, why would he want to date her??? Surely he can do better! Unless the post above yours is correct.
This girl is grizzling she can't find a quality committed mature guy, around the bars when theres the perfect right man under her silly nose
A 19 or 20-year-old's idea of "the one" is often faaaaar different than a 33-year-old's. She's could be basing her ideal on media-styled "romance." A mature guy to her could be a 23-year-old who remembers to pay his cell phone bill on time (no offence to 23-year olds!).
While the OP is probably a perfectly nice man, who are we to assume that he's the "perfect right man" for her? Even he hasn't assumed that.
Whew!
It's still a case of the OP being frustrated because a girl he fancies isn't interested in him.
Meh...after reading the other posts, I think he could be facing a bigger heartache if he were to pursue this girl given his position at work.
A Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/Quanza etc to all, and to all a good night! | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 11:13:37 PM | She is a co-worker, works "under" you and is 19. You keep asking her out and she says no. Ever heard of sexual harrassment?
It doesn't matter that you are a nice guy. It matters that she doesn't want to date you. If I were to decide I wanted to date a man 14 yrs younger than myself who was not interested and, even though I am a nice person, whined about it what advice would you give me? | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 11:22:45 PM | Oh here we go again.....a guy calling a woman 'shallow' just because she doesn't fancy him! This has got to be the most overused word in the English language. People will give all sorts of reasons for why another person is shallow, but it always comes down to the fact that this person doesn't fancy them. That DOES NOT make them shallow.
What beats me is that the user of the word always has to come up with a string of reasons to justify why that person is shallow, instead of just coming to the real reason they think they are. she might just find you more attractive if you stop whining and act your age. | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 11:25:52 PM | I fail to spot "Shallowness" here **OP**
It would seem to me that by searching for "the one" she has many hidden meanings in that. I.E. The right fit, the right scent, the right attitude and behaviours. The "spark".
As invisible as it may appear, it sounds to me like she knows exactly what she wants without being able to define or express it. I believe she'll know when she finds it.
Interesting to say the least, but most impressive at such a young age.
YOU have what "A" woman wants, just not what "THIS" woman wants. Don't take it so personal.
Best wishes to all
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/17/2006 11:38:28 PM | I dont think she is shallow. Like most people say she is 19 yrs old.
No offence but you are OLD to her.
And i to think your way out of line to know and obsess so much about your employee.
Because she has no interest in you, you call her shallow
I think its creepy. | |
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| Women can be really shallow.
Posted: 12/18/2006 12:22:51 AM | | Man, I haven't visited forever and I see people are stil complaining about the same crap. | |
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