| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:29:21 PM | I had been dating a guy I met here for about 3 months. It turns out he's married, and his wife is pregnant. How did I not realize that he was married, or lying to me? Why is it so easy for these f'ing creeps to lie to me, and use me?
How can men be so slimey? | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:31:35 PM | | That sucks, but the first thing that came to mind was, maybe he picked up on your vulnerability because you advertised it in a thread like this one. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:34:49 PM | | I've never posted in the forum before. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:36:27 PM | Damn, there goes my theory.
Ummmm....
I have no idea. Maybe you just forgot to visit him at his house, to see if he had a family there? | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:38:06 PM | Maybe the picture of your breasts on your profile led him to believe that you were an easy slut.
I have a big chest too, but I don't advertise it, or the rest of my body for that matter.
If you are selling meat, men will buy meat.
You get what you ask for. Have a little more respect for yourself, and maybe men will have a little more respect for you too. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:40:55 PM | | Well I think there's lots of slimy guys out there there's lots of nice ones too. Try to have better judgment next time and too bad for his wife and kid perhaps she should have had better judgment too. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:42:13 PM | Don't feel bad. You are still young and haven't been duped by a lot of men yet. Not enough to hone your instinct anyway.
After you have run through a few more clowns like him, you will start to see the signs.
Sounds great, doesnt it? lol. You know the truth is everyone could tell you what to look for but it seems every generation is doomed to relearn everything themselves.
Stick around the forums, and learn from other people's mistakes. But don't just read the women's experiences. Women do it to men also, so make sure to keep an open mind and read the men's stories too. It's not just a gender thing when it comes to cheating.
Good luck. btw you look great. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:45:28 PM |
Maybe the picture of your breasts on your profile led him to believe that you were an easy slut.
I have a big chest too, but I don't advertise it, or the rest of my body for that matter.
If you are selling meat, men will buy meat.
You get what you ask for. Have a little more respect for yourself, and maybe men will have a little more respect for you too.
though i wouldn't have put it quite like that, i do agree with the user that posted this because that pic does send the wrong message. buddy is still a slime ball. one thing i am confused on - you dated for three mths - clearly you never went to his house or had his home phone number, otherwise i'm sure you would have figured this out sooner? that would have been a red flag for me honey. better luck next time. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:51:24 PM | Well isn't this the support I was looking for.
I did go to his apartment. Honestly, I never really saw any sign of a wife, even looking back on it now. His place was always a bit of a mess, and never had any food around. And he used his cell phone as his main line. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:58:11 PM | They have no business attacking you for the pictures on your profile.
Maybe he had an apartment in town and his house was someplace else. Did he have big bucks? If you switch to dating poorer men who live in their cars, you can tell if they are single by looking in the back seat.
I know, I am no help, either. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:05:07 PM | I just don't see a link between the picture and being purused by a married man, as so many here have seen. I do believe the OP needs to be a little more questioning about people she dates.
The cell phone should of been a dead giveaway, granted some people use them as home phones more and more, in the world of dating it should raise a red flag.
Op the support you are looking for is right under your nose, if you read all the posts carefully, and learn from your mistake. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:07:32 PM | | Sorry that you are hurting,these are the types of mistakes we make in our 20's and learn from them. You aren't dumb,he took advantage of you .I'm not one to judge anyone about their pics either. I wish you the best. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:10:07 PM | Maybe you didn't/don't ask the right questions.
Didn't care to hear what he had to say?
In retrospect...what did you miss?
Think about it and remember...move on and catch the right  | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:16:23 PM | OP, did this guy have a public picture on his profile? If not, that should be your first clue. Never date a guy who won't put his pic up for public viewing on his profile. They always have some kind of lame excuse for not doing it, just don't fall for it. If you meet a guy and his pic does not look like him, again some lame excuse is usually given, then run.
-Jim | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:24:00 PM | | Try not to let it hurt you! It doesn't matter how you look in your profile pics--he shouldn't have lied to you and disrespected you like that. I bet that he was taking you to one of his friend's apartments and acting like it was his place. I'm sure that you aren't the only one that is victimized by him, if it wasn't you... it's would have been someone else. Think about what he's doing to his wife and family. MOVE ON!! Consider this a lesson learned! | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:24:47 PM | I agree with cougar 99 there is nothing between the pics and dating a married man. People say all kinds of things especially when they don't know what to say and this thread is appearently no exception to that idea.
I think that we all have made mistakes in the past similar or identical to this one. Sometimes we live our lives like conducting a movie, we script the plot, choose the characters and watch our movie play by. In other words we are blinded by our own thoughts and needs at the time. Don't be so hard on yourself. We all make these mistakes but it's up to us to learn from them and see situations the way they really are not how we want them to be. Good luck! | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:24:51 PM | I think it's easy to be swept away, you take people at face value, never dreaming what they tell you could be a lie... After all, you tell the truth so you expect the same..
Sometimes you're just not paying enough attention, or you deny facts because you don't want it to be true..
Maybe little signs were there and you didn't pick up on them.. Whatever the case, you can't blame yourself for his lies.
sorry this happened to you..
Ps. I looked at your photos, I liked the picture of your cat. Your photos have nothing to do with a married man playing games with you.. That could happen to anyone | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:37:30 PM | | I am a little curious though....how old was this man? Since you are only 21...most men around your age range are not getting married these days....let alone having kids? It may explain alot of things. Perhaps you got yourself caught up with an older man...who took advantage of your young vulnerable age? We all make mistakes...and hopefully we learn from our mistakes. Put it behind you....and proceed with caution next time round. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:46:36 PM | Men are human. Humans are often slimy is why. Why? Sorry, not writing a book here. Sleepy. Run a search on the net on the issue. Tons of info. Much of it better than what you'll find here.
I'm too stupid to know how dumb you are. I don't know how obvious or not the guy being married was. There are good con artist out there. That could have been it. You did find out btw. If you were still being fooled this thread wouldn't be here. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:52:46 PM | | You are not dumb. And regarding your picture nothing wrong with it. The best thing you can do is to learn from the experience. Next time, be very cautious. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:56:02 PM | Ifind it really sad, yes some men are really slimey, but you can't tar us with 1 stick. Some of us are really honest and up front.. i hope you end up with a great life and he gets what he deserves..  | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:59:46 PM | uhm, Hello, why do you post a picture of your tits if your not looking for meat? common, are you really not taking responsibilty here??? I have nothing against the picture, but it kind of shouts this message to me " hello, I am a desperate woman with very little confidence, so I am an easy target for abuse or use" well , I could be way off, it is just the feel I get. I think the first real question you need to ask is , what do I want,,,really really want, then go from there,,Good luck, when It comes to love I suck, so all what I said is probably wrong any way.
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 6:04:50 PM | It does not matter how your photo looks, you could show your boobs or not. Most men on these websites are married and 99.9% are just looking for a booty call. Telling this women that showing her boobs makes her look like a slut is wrong. She is only showing her cleavage. It is wrong to label anybody. Go on somespamsite and you will see alot worse. There are men on there showing their private parts.
I met a guy last year at a restaurant, I was wearing jeans and a sweater and he asked me out. But I sooned figured out he was married.
Most men lie and most men cheat. That is a fact. And it really does not matter how you are dressed because most men are just looking for a booty call anyway.
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 6:16:19 PM | I wish there was a site to post all of these married men who lie to us women about being married. We could put their names up there along with their photos. And hopefully their wives would see them.
My advice to you is not to have sex with him until you can find out more about him. Usually if a man wants to have sex right away he is not looking for a relationship he is just looking for a booty call.
These dating sites do not screen anybody or do background checks and it makes it alot easier for married men to cheat on here because they can be discreet.
I would like to know what he goes by on here so that I will make sure not to contact him. I have met enough married men in my life. One other thing...when they say they are separated on here...their not. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 6:22:11 PM | | Innateplanet your mean comments to strawberrysab was just crap.Sexy pics gets a man attention thats why so many women post them.Your just jealous she has the body you dreamed you had and you missed the whole point of what she said.As I said on at least 2 other threads in here I bet half of the women in POF are dating married men and don't even know it.I always laugh when I hear women say they can tell if a man is lying must be a million posts in here of women getting played so so much for being able to tell.Strawberrysab your not dumb or gullible if a guy is a cheater and is good at it he knows what to say or do to get sex.In the future If I were you I'd get his home number,place,see his place and talk to people who know him.I could tell you more but then the married guys would give me a hard time,lol | |
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