| Unhealthy Crushes
Posted: 8/1/2004 12:20:31 PM | I'm sure everybody has seen that movie "The Crush" with Alicia Silverspoon? My question here is mostly directed to the guys, but the gals are more than welcomed to share input. Guys: is there anyone in here that has had a much younger girl to have a crush on you and say that they are in love with you? Reason why I asked is that I know this girl that was/is in love with a former teacher of hers. Now, this teacher was like her 4th grade teacher....the plot thickens...this guy is probably at least 20+ years older than her. To this day, she still writes him letters...she is now 25. She had told me that every guy she has dated must live up to his standards. She sees this guy about once a year. I just think it's strange...she tells me they have never "done anything" together..that he is just one of her most influential figures in her life..but I just still think it's strange..I mean we all have crushes on a hot teacher at one point..but do we "fall in love" with our fourth grade teacher and keep these feeling for her/him for decades after??
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| Re: Unhealthy Crushes
Posted: 8/1/2004 12:32:27 PM | This subject makes wonder what is realy going on. I think thats more of an obsession. I have a female friend, she will do anything that you tell her not to do. If you try to stay away from her, she will fall in love with you. Realy confused me, that was awhile ago. I never had a crush on a teacher so I am not sure. I did date a 35 year old lady once, thought she would be more interested in a relationship. I was wrong, she was more interested in money, and sex. That relationship ended that same day.
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| Re: Unhealthy Crushes
Posted: 8/1/2004 6:52:52 PM | | He might just be a role model & and a point of admiration for her. Maybe not a sexual/relationship thing for her at all. | |
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| Re: Unhealthy Crushes
Posted: 8/1/2004 9:38:45 PM | Yeah however she specifically said at one point she was in love with him...and when she mentioned how much of a role model he was to her..you could tell by the look in her eyes that it was more than just a role model thing....and that any guy she dated couldn't live up to him..as he was the standard that all had to go by. I just think it's strange...
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| Re: Unhealthy Crushes
Posted: 8/1/2004 9:41:50 PM | | But then you never know, WHAT REALLY HAPPENED IN THE PAST. If she looks at him as a role model and also loves him, I'd say there is a reasonably good chance some Swept-Under-The-Carpet hanky-panky might have gone on also. | |
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| Re: Unhealthy Crushes
Posted: 8/1/2004 9:44:15 PM | Yeah could have...I mean though..I can't imagine....this was her 4th grade teacher..and he kept up with her all this time...which means he might have been interested in her when she was what, 9 or 10? Yuck!!!
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| Re: Unhealthy Crushes
Posted: 8/1/2004 11:27:55 PM | | Maybe "Teach" had a fetish of sorts. Better not go there. | |
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| Re: Unhealthy Crushes
Posted: 8/2/2004 11:16:30 AM | I dunno though, if it was a "fetish" thing for teach, then wouldn't he in turn "lose interest" when she got to be of age? I mean I have role model teachers, and certainly I have had teachers when I was in school that I might have had a crush on. However, Nothing that I would have held on to since the 4th grade. And when she had told me this, I was like..well I would like to meet this guy..sounds like he is a special person. But, she was quick to say that she would rather spend time alone with this guy...so it's like nobody can meet him.
You all don't think they have had a "sexual" relationship since they had met do you? I just think it's strange. And if this is the case, wouldn't her parents find out eventually? | |
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| Re: Unhealthy Crushes
Posted: 8/2/2004 11:17:28 AM | | I mean after all, she did tell me she was in love with the guy. | |
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| Re: Unhealthy Crushes
Posted: 8/2/2004 4:56:10 PM | I don't think anyone will ever know. But "Teach" may have become cognizant of a potential legal problem after his fetish wore off and smoothened things down and over.
Who knows. All speculative. | |
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| Re: Unhealthy Crushes
Posted: 8/2/2004 10:20:13 PM | ok wow this is a lot of repitition and craziness. If you dont mind how old is this girl now? you said something about her parents finding out and her coming of age. Do you know for certain she is not just making something up in a way that she wants an older man and would like you to know or for some other reason? Do you know if the teacher knows about this and if so why does he not say goodbye to her. As a psychology look at it, do you know of any problems as youth with dad, uncles, etc. i think i am out of questions. i know many lead bad places but i am a listener and try to know a scenario well before i analize it. and it sounds like you truly care about her and want to help her if you can.
Dragonthor | |
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| Re: Unhealthy Crushes
Posted: 8/7/2004 10:32:53 AM | I'm in the profession and I can tell you firsthand that we reach many kids (usually the ones we don't expect to affect) in profound ways, especially if they have been through trauma at home. I know of two students who have diligently kept in touch with my friend (both female, thank goodness), despite her distance and polite discouragement. Both are now in their 20's, married, and grateful to her. She is extremely honoured, but set up very clear boundaries as soon as an interest in adult friendship became an option. She had constant parental involvement while the girls were in highschool, basically lent an ear and befriended a couple of struggling kids. She still doesn't initiate any contact, rarely responds (except for things like congratulating the birth of a new baby) and hopes it will wear off. There was never a case of inappropriate behaviour, as she values her career and integrity. However, as adults, both women have said they love her and thank her repeatedly. Not to toot my own horn, here, but good teachers do make a big impact on some lives.
I just hope this man has been aware, sensitive and 100% clean. Anything less spoils the above mentioned gifts. It's a different ballgame for male teachers. I hope he's a pro. | |
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| Re: Unhealthy Crushes
Posted: 8/11/2004 11:21:18 AM | | I don't know...I mean hopefully at one point or another he had set her straight and said...look I want to keep track of you since you were my student, however I am not romantically interested. I think it's different with the male teachers though in my opinion.... | |
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