| Please help i've got to see my ex tomorrow.
Posted: 12/21/2006 4:01:32 PM | Hi sorry to keep bothering you all but i need you help.
Me and my bf split up two weeks ago. He dumped me out of the blue. So me being me came here to live my best friend. I haven't spoken to him but i've spoken to his mates cause i needed my house keys back.
I found out off his mate that he's been seeing a girl who he said he didn't know. Thats not the problem though. The problem is i've got to meet him tomorrow and get my keys back and give him his stuff.
He called me the other night demanding that i call him back or he'd burn my book collection.
I didn't awnser the call cause i wasn't ready to deal with all that shit.
But thinking about seeing him tomorrow is making me feel so bad i'm shaking all over i'm really not sure how to handle tomorrow.
Please help.
Michie x x
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| Please help i've got to see my ex tomorrow.
Posted: 12/21/2006 4:18:44 PM | Play it friendly. Not friendly in a I-want-you-back way, but in the way you're friendly to, say, a taxi driver who has to take you 20 miles. Friendly in a way you are to someone you don't know and whose opinion you don't care about.
Do not talk about the past, why you broke up or any possibility of getting back together. Refuse to get into that conversation full stop. If he gets shitty, just look at him unemotionally and silently until he runs out of steam. Then shrug as if his words mean nothing to you anymore. Do not retort. Some people get shitty with thier exes because they want to inspire some sense of emotion (even anger or upset if needs be) because, deep down, they still want to feel emotionally connected. Deny him this.
Look I know thats way, way easier said then done. Just make sure you have all his shit together ready to hand straight over - keep the contact as brief as possible, then cut this man out of your life ruthlessly and completely. He had his chance and he blew it.
Good luck. | |
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| Please help i've got to see my ex tomorrow.
Posted: 12/21/2006 4:33:05 PM | Simply show up at the meeting with at least two of your girlfriends.
He'll be intimidated by them and won't give you any grief.
Just give his stuff back, get your keys and go have a few drinks with your friends !! | |
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| Please help i've got to see my ex tomorrow.
Posted: 12/21/2006 4:43:25 PM | | I agree with Passing Knight's response...be civil and easygoing about the whole thing. Don't give him the pleasure of seeing you upset and emotional. He may wonder why you're not upset. The truth of the matter is if he is already seeing another girl 2 weeks after you broke up, maybe he wasn't really worth having in the first place. I feel bad for you and as cliche as this sounds, time does heal. You take care. | |
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| Please help i've got to see my ex tomorrow.
Posted: 12/21/2006 7:19:37 PM | I've got to agree with some of the other posters here, have a friend go for you or go with a friend or two yourself. From the sounds of it, emotionally it would be very trying on you, you don't need more stress and pain.  | |
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| Please help i've got to see my ex tomorrow.
Posted: 12/21/2006 9:26:07 PM |
OP:
The problem is i've got to meet him tomorrow and get my keys back and give him his stuff.
He called me the other night demanding that i call him back or he'd burn my book collection.
I didn't awnser the call cause i wasn't ready to deal with all that shit. But thinking about seeing him tomorrow is making me feel so bad i'm shaking all over i'm really not sure how to handle tomorrow.
Instead of picking up your keys, shouldn't you just change your locks (don't tell him) and pickup the books later when he isn't threatening to burn them? | |
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| Please help i've got to see my ex tomorrow.
Posted: 12/21/2006 11:59:01 PM | | Biggest thing i think you need to do is bring someone with you, and make sure he knows that too because that way you are covered and you will have support, Also make sure he knows that you record all his threats just in case he ever follows thru with one! Drop this guy and run away fast! | |
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| Please help i've got to see my ex tomorrow.
Posted: 12/22/2006 7:40:56 AM | Do Not Go Alone!
If you possibly can, take a male that your ex likes and respects. Maybe your brother or cousin or anyone non-threatening to your ex. He is much more likely to behave himself then.
If your ex is abuse, ask the police for an escort, they would much rather come with you than have to come once you are in trouble.
I agree that you should change your locks -- today if possible -- there are lock smiths that will come right to your house.
If this is all too much for you, don't go at all. No possessions are worth this much anxiety.
I also have to see my ex before Christmas, I have his stocking. He is not acting like your ex but it is still going to be hard to go.
Good Luck to You. Merry Christmas! | |
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| Please help i've got to see my ex tomorrow.
Posted: 12/22/2006 9:13:55 AM | michie..........go see him, get the keys back and the rest of your things. take a girlfriend with you, not a guy. the last thing you want him to do is feel threatened. talk to him as if you were talking to any of your friends.....nothing sexual, nothing flirtacious, just a friend. don't lead him to believe that there may be a chance on getting back with you, not even if you wanted to get back with him. set a plan on what you're going to do, what you have to collect, what you have to say. once you have everything that you've gone there for....be a true friend, wish him merry christmas (not sarcastic). if he can see that the 2 of you can talk as friends (whether you like it or not) he would learn how to deal with things better without threats or anything.
happy holidays.
~anna~ | |
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| Please help i've got to see my ex tomorrow.
Posted: 12/22/2006 9:49:50 AM | | Yeah definately dont go by yourself cause if your ex is yelling at you and being harsh like that then you definately dont wanna go alone. I made the mistake of going to see my ex a couple weeks after we broke up to retrieve some old stuff and i wish i brought a friend because it would have stopped me from yelling at her and freaking out on her when all she would give me was grief for being there and wanting my stuff back. so yeah, dont go alone. | |
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