| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 1:09:02 AM | Curious, when it comes to words we use to describe ourselves and others, what does high maintenance mean to you?
I've seen it mentioned so many times in guy's profiles as something they aren't looking for, but I'm not sure what they're actually saying, except, there's obviously a negative connotation there.
Any enlightening thoughts to share? | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 1:32:00 AM | | I think that when they say they don't want somebody who's "high maintenance" they mean that they don't want someone who spends at least 30 minutes out of every hour looking in the mirror, or someone who constantly needs to be reassured how beautiful/smart/wonderful they are (by constantly I mean at least every two minutes). I've had to deal with people like that... they suck. Their egos typically have more gravitational pull than Jupiter, and they get very offended if someone ever dares speak to them without assuring them of how absolutely awesome they are. | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 3:14:41 AM | taking time to look good is one thing, high maintenance is another completely.
personally i think a high maintenance woman is like a high performance car. fun to look at, maybe even fun to drive on occasion, but you sure as hell won't buy one for the long term...always needing oil top-ups (compliments), premium fuel (only the best dinner when you're picking up the tab!), a good set of wheels (shoe fetish anyone?)...the list could go on.
give me a woman who takes a little time to put on a little makeup for a date, but who can throw her hair up in a ponytail and go for a walk/kayak at Buntzen Lake too. | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 3:15:24 AM | I think its self-explanatory.
High maintenance people take a lot of time, money and energy to maintain.
Personally I'm low to medium maintenance when it comes to how much cash I need to have a good time, and material things really don't impress me much. On the other hand, I need a certain amount of comfortableness from anyone in my life and I expect a lot as far as trustworthiness, loyalty and openness.
The high maintenance women I know, expect flash and cash! They spend a ton of time on their appearance and looks and expect to be rewarded for it with cash, time and attention.
Most guys I know get bored and frustrated with these gals very quickly, yet we are still encouraged to be more like them by the media and our peers.
Examples:
Oh no! I broke a nail. Honey come home and drive me to the salon in your porche.. right now!
I can't go to work today because its the only day I could get in for a pedicure.
My hair stylist is leaving town and I could just cry!
He didn't buy me everything I wanted for Christmas so I dumped him!
I know a couple women like this.. and I have to shake my head! | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 4:09:20 AM | To me, high maintenance is more than spending time doing her hair, makeup, outfit selection etc. It's about how much of your time and energy it requires to keep them happy.
A fish analogy:
If you wanted to have a saltwater pufferfish, you would need an aquarium, a heater, a filter, water conditioners, and you would have to pay attention to the temperature, the salinity, ph levels, etc. If you wanted to have a betta (siamese fighting fish) you need a container and some water.
Pufferfish are high maintenance. Bettas are not.
A high-maintenance woman is one that constantly needs reassuring. If you smile at your waitress, you'll have to spend the next 4 hours convincing a high maintenance girlfriend that you weren't trying to pick up the waitress, that you are happy in the relationship, that last weeks argument hasn't raised doubts in your mind, then you rehash that argument, etc. And then she brings it up the next day. And the next day. | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 9:46:45 AM | Puppy, I like this question. I understand what a man means when he says "high maintenance" but I also take it in context with his overall profile to get a sense of the type of person he is. If the profile also says "no baggage" and says nothing about what the man has to offer, it paints a picture for me rather quickly of the type of man he is. I almost never respond to these men if they contact me.
If the man were to describe himself instead of saying what a woman *shouldn't* be, here's how such a profile might read:
"Hi there! I've had some bad experiences with women so want to make sure that my next one is positive. I like it when my woman looks hot, but it can't interfere with my schedule. I like my woman to tell me that I'm hot, smart, funny and insightful regardless of how I act. It's not my job to reassure you--particularly in the beginning of the relationship. If I seem easily distracted, get used to it. I'm happy to shame you and criticize you, but if you try to respond, clarify, or dare I say defend yourself, be prepared for me to call you 'high maintenance' and carrying 'baggage.' Sure I have baggage, but my baggage is cute. That's what mom says. Come and get me--if you think you rate."
For me, I like nice things, but I am self-sufficient. I make my own way in life and simply don't want the drama of a man who creates it by using conversation stoppers like "high maintenance" and "baggage." Everyone has baggage. It's called life experience. And all relationships require maintenance. The terms are sadly used as weapons, not olive branches.
Just my cynical two cents. | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 10:22:43 AM | Everything said about HM women is my understanding and experience. I also appreciate that every situation has more than one perspective. Fortunately, you can usually spot most HM women a mile away, but occasionally there are the rare and prised Low Maintenance ones that only look HM. Unfortunately, it's a very risky and dangerous business in seeking those, for one may fall prey to the wrong type! (Can't I be cynical too? Or is that the exclusive privy of women?)
But what about for guys? My sister used the term to describe a guy once. When questioned what she meant, she only alluded to his pickiness (i.e. presumably of women), which makes no sense to me. Because I knew he guy as being both frugal and cautious (especially with his cash), is being HM for guys a euphemism/code word for "he's not going to lavish you with gifts/time/money/or whatever your want or whim is whenever you desire to make you feel like the princess you are"? It would be nice to get confirmation of this, in part because I think I've also been marked with that label. And yes, I won't put up with the antics of HM women, or at least unless I'm already head over heels - in which case, nail the coffin tight or pray for a miracle! | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 10:27:39 AM | if it takes longer then 20 minutes forget it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have better things to do then primp.....
less is more...
my 0.02 cents worth | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 10:49:27 AM | High maintenance women need a Sugar Daddy.
I am only one person's Daddy........ and she is 11.
If the profile also says "no baggage" and says nothing about what the woman has to offer (to a relationship), it paints a picture for me rather quickly of the type of woman she is.
That one can work both ways...... | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 10:51:34 AM | im like a combo of high and low maintenance........yes i like to look good when im going out on the town , it tkes me about 1/2 hr to get ready .......and yes i do like my bf to tell me im sexy, and how good i look ......but i tell him how good he looks all the time .
yes once a yr i want to go out for an expencive dinner , but i have np paying if i need to .
but now if were talkin going out to get wood or 4x4ing .....u can disreguard all that crap i just said ....
cuz then i want a case of beer , a gun , tent , smokes, and chainsaw, all ready to go in the back seat of the truck baby.......i put on the first tank top i see, and my oldest jogging pants , and ..........GET ER DONE. 
Oh , and i do like to get flowers every now and then ........ | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 11:41:45 AM | I dated this most beautiful lady some years back. Hair always done right and she had just the right shade of redish brown...she called it "auburn" and the reflection from it in the sun was WOW. Her jeans were always a major designer label and never, never, never would one see any pantyline on her butt. Her tops were cut just right to follow her figure. $200- pair of shoes and her nails...well you get the picture?
I loved being seen in puplic with this girl. Every guy would look at me and think, "What does she sees in him?" and every girl would be jealous of her look.
Only the best (meaning most expensive) restaurants she liked. All her clothes came from this or that boutique and only if this little shop was in. No sports for her. No camping for this girl. Dishes? I did the dishes...and the cooking...and anything manual. Come on now, a girl like that does not sweat unless she (meaning I) paid for it big bucks.
At first I put up with it but over time this became less and less fun.
Today I date this wonderful lady. She loves camping, gardening...we fight for who will do the dishes. We dance so mush that we sweat...she wipes her forhead on my shirt sleeve, love it. We have food fights. I (we) have lots more fun, laugh at ourselves everyday. Give me low maintenance anyday.
Doc Sage  | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 12:05:45 PM | high maintenace is someone who refused to get off their arss and get their hands dirty doing what ever is requsted of them
it's also, someone who refuses to leave the house without makeup, someone who refused to go in the rain for fear of messing up their hair, someone who spends an hour to get out of the freaken house
someone who is NOT spontaneous is fricken HIGH MAINTENANCE.
as well as someone who has NO get up and go and I'm not talking about push or pull starts either.
I 4 one hope that I am not high maintenance as these kinds of pple bug the crap out of me! | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 12:23:25 PM | It's about how much of your time and energy it requires to keep them happy.
Yes!
I am so bloody tired of those who define "high maintenance" according to outward and appearance and the effort put forth to get there.
If you have to try so hard to get along with someone that it makes you want to kill yourself - chances are, that person is high maintenance. AND the determinants of getting along with someone are not global, so you cannot attribute the title of "high maintenance" to every single person who doesn't happen to be spontaneous. | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 12:45:59 PM | Good points everyone. As DoNotGoGentle referred, from how it comes across in some guy's profiles, it does seem to mean more then how long the woman needs to get ready or whether or not she has expensive taste, but in other profiles there isn't much context to go on.
From the many profiles I've read with this stipulation in it, I've gotten the impression that if the woman is going to ask much from him (in a non-monetary sense) in a relationship, then she's high maintenance. I take this as 'you better keep questions and expectations to a mimimum and don't expect me to talk about stuff that isn't working for you or expect me to put work into a relationship'.
It makes me wonder, as so often I also see men referring to themselves as simple and easy going, and wanting the same in a woman. | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 1:04:59 PM | | I've been called high maintenance because of my hands (nails, rings, etc) but for me, that's the one thing I do for myself, once a month. I don't drink, smoke, or anything else like that so I indulge once a month. I don't need a guy to pay for anything in my life, I don't need one to be there 24/7. | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 2:34:48 PM | Its not just women that can be high maintenance, men can be it too.
Personally that crap drives me nuts. They worry about how they look, how they dress, etc.
I couldnt care less if I get wet in the rain, or not everything matches. I'm not out to impress the world. I'd much rather be concerned about my inside then my outside.
Its not that I dont care what I look like, but a bad hair day or an outfit that isnt right isnt going to ruin my day or put me in a bad mood. I also dont feel like spending my life getting ready. | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 3:03:30 PM | I like the comments about getting dirty. It's a really good bench mark. I've dug through tubs full of pig organs from freshly butchered pigs to get the pancreases for a rescue dog with exocrine pancreatic insufficiency in order to keep him alive, given mouth to snout to both piglets and failing puppies in order to revive them, have gone to the mall with *gasp* no make up and eat hot dogs from street vendors. BUT, I expect men to be kind and thoughtful. Those who aren't have referred to me as high maintenance.
Ironically, my last boyfriend spent more time worrying about his looks than I ever did.
Puppy, it sounds like you're getting very skilled at reading between the lines on profiles.
As for a sugar Daddy syndrome, I agree and that, too, goes both ways. Because I have a fairly good career there is sometimes an expectation that I will always be the one to pay. Pfft. | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 3:10:00 PM | I think we all have had a friend (or two) that is high-maintenance. We accept our friends for their good and bad qualities however I find that they are such a major drain on my energy that I can only take them in small doses. I can not date someone who is high maintenance though. It's a megadose of vanity to the nth degree.
I did a road trip with a friend and it took him two hours to get ready in the morning. It ruined the trip for me - meant we only had a couple of hours to sight see because I spent my time waiting. I'd cool off by going for long walks. All my suggestions about getting up earlier or showering at night were ignored. The friendship didn't survive the trip and the trip was cut short. What a surprise.
Also went camping with someone who spent two hours putting makeup on and expected everyone to cater to her! Her boyfriend was totally blinded to how annoying her behaviour was to the other campers.
I consider myself low maintenance and try to dress well. I just don't spend a lot of time doing it. | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/23/2006 8:56:27 PM | High maintenance:
Someone or something that requires a lot of time and effort with very little return. | |
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chinua
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Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 20 | |
| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/24/2006 12:51:15 PM | I work with a couple of high maintenance girls........they are always calling in sick because they didn't dress warm enough for work; warm clothes just don't look cute enough....everybody else wears at least 3 layers of warm shirts; they wear one(and usually white)- with full makeup, jewellry, and perfect hair.........to work in a Rona!!!
I say in my profile that I'm not high maintenance; which to me means that not every hair is in place (its naturally curly with a mind of its own) sometimes i just wear eyeliner; I almost always wear jeans. If its cold out; I dress warm. I can ready to go somewhere at short notice- just let me grab a jacket! | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/24/2006 1:05:44 PM | | I like to think high maitenance applies equally to men or women. I am certain we all know folks who fall into this grouping do we not? | |
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/24/2006 2:48:17 PM | For me high maintenance is what XCheryl said.....
a lot of time and energy with nothing in return
also includes the whole getting ready to go somewhere
I am pretty much wash and go and don't want
to be waiting for an hour(s) for her to get ready
I tend to be a bit on the spontaneous side
so waiting around just does not work....
....and yes, it does apply to guys as well
in terms of celebrity examples:
Paris Hilton and co.=High Maintenance
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| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/24/2006 3:39:16 PM | High maintenance, needs things done a certain way to your liking without much in regards to anyone else
Prissy.
Acting like a pricness
I've been described as high maintenace in a low mainteance way if that makes any sense.
I have expensive tastes in makeup and clothes.
I refuse to wear anything that isn't a brand name. But the only thing I wear are skirts, sweats,sweatshirts,yoga pants.
I buy lots of expensive makeup but will only really wear it 5x a month max.
I buy 200 dollar contacts which I'll only wear maybe 5x a month
For me i guess the only thing high maintenance about me is that I am materialistic
(good luck catching fish now jojobeans)
i HATE camping, i hate getting dirty, I coudln't stand having sex in the woods because i felt like some gnome. If anyone takes me camping, I'm staying at the closest inn. I hate fishing. I HATE THINGS DIRTY. im not a tomboy
But I'm low maintenance in the way that I can throw on sweatpants and go.
low maintenenace where i don't need people to buy me shit all the time, and can drive myself places.
I can go on a date to rotten ronnies and not care
but one time i was eating a hamburger and asked someone to put on my blush while i was eating..
And I won't eat my apples and cheese unless someone cuts them up for me...
... | |
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ya472
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 24 | |
| High maintenance ?
Posted: 12/24/2006 5:05:08 PM | High maintenance >>> needy
need the mirror
need makeup
need clothes
need house
need car, or three
need attention
need money
need shoes
need
need
need
etc
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