Renda
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Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 1 | |
| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 2:27:39 PM | Is it abnormal not to be a teeny bit jealous?
For instance, my boyfriend says that he never ever gets jealous. I asked him if he would be a teeny bit jealous if I dated other men, and his reply was no. I am not a real jealous person, but I would get jealous if he dated other women. Any views on this? | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 2:31:19 PM |
I asked him if he would be a teeny bit jealous if I dated other men, and his reply was no then I'd say that he doesn't consider himself to be your boyfriend | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 2:32:16 PM | If you've got a boyfriend, why do you want to date other men....... | |
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Renda
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Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 4 | |
| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 2:35:34 PM | | I don't. It was a hypothetical question. | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 2:41:29 PM | My hypothetical question is why did you ask him that? If he is your boyfriend, then he should be concerned. | |
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Renda
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Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 2:43:07 PM | | He said he never gets jealous. I was just trying to see if that would make him jealous, or anything would make him jealous. I just do not think it is normal to have absolutely no jealousy. That is all. | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 2:44:29 PM | | BOTTOM LINE HERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he lied | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 2:57:12 PM |
I just do not think it is normal to have absolutely no jealousy Jealousy is an insecure childish emotion.
Some people are mature, and secure enough, that they don't get jealous.
Perhaps your boyfriend is the type who:
if he seen you dating other men, he wouldn't get jealous, he'd just boot your ass out the door and move on.
If you were my girlfriend.........
I'd likely boot you out the door, just for asking if I'd be jealous when you dated other guys.
and BTW,
I don't believe the age on your profile.
This is something a niave 17 year old would ask | |
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ya472
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 9 | |
| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 3:02:15 PM |
I asked him if he would be a teeny bit jealous if I dated other men
It TOTALLY amazes me when people need to TEST their relationship with these self-destructive questions and comments.
It causes me to move on, because any lady that asked me that question, is NOT INTO ME !
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Renda
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Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 3:25:37 PM | | I guess what precipitated my asking him that was the fact that he said I could date other men. I totally love him and what even consider that. It just befudled me that he would suggest that knowing my feelings. | |
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lmnop
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Joined: 12/11/2006
Msg: 11 | |
| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 3:33:03 PM | If you are dating and exclusive, why on earth would you ask him such an absurd question?
If I were on the receiving end of a question like that, I wonder seriously reconsider the exclusiveness of the relationship. | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 3:34:32 PM |
what precipitated my asking him that was the fact that he said I could date other men.
well if he was the one who said you could date other men, before your asking if he'd be jealous......
I'd have to re-state what I said in my original post in this thread:
he likely doesn't consider himself to be your boyfriend
Move along.
Fnd someone who wants to be your boyfriend.
A guy who wants you to date others, obviously doesn't want to be. | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 3:41:09 PM | .and then if he does get jealous it's like..........."omg!...he's always jealous!....I hate this!....."
...and women wonder why us guys tune it all out after awhile with NFL fooball?
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 4:13:08 PM | | Hiya, no its not Abnormal, my b/f is the same way, he dont care what i do and i dont care what he does, he stated once " If i wanted to cheat on someone i wouldnt be with them in the first place " which i hold the same quote towards myself today! but ill admit i do have a jealous streak sometimes, because alot of our friends are female, or when we go out etc, but some people are just like that!, but i find it weird that you asked him that if you dated other men he wouldnt be jealous, that would be a red flag in my mind, because if he answered he didnt care if you dated other men ( or did he say just hang out? which is diffrent ) that is an entirly diffrent scenario, and that pretty much is telling me, if he dont care if you date * other men, whats that stopping him from dating other women? ? i would just talk to him again and clarify what exactly hes talkin about ! good luck! | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 4:19:39 PM | I am not a jealous guy. I have had girlfriends who have had many guy friends. I don't mind when they hang out.
However, if she said she went on a date with one of them or made out with one, I would be very upset and jealous.
Take your boyfriend at his word and date other guys. Oh, and break up with him  | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 4:56:38 PM | Like almost every other single thing, it's a bell curve. Some people are insanely jealous, most are capable of small to large degrees of jealousy, and some aren't jealous at all. This can be strongly influenced by the degree of security someone feels in a relationship; how secure is yours from his perspective?
There are a few other possible motives for his behaviour. He could be completely immature and having heard that jealousy was negative is saying he doesn't feel it at all. He could have a secret fantasy of you shagging another guy but can't articulate it directly. He could think you're bluffing and is calling you on it.
Really, it's impossible to say with the information provided what your b/f's motives are, but it's not abnormal just unusual to not be capable of jealousy.
Cheers,
Mike (asexuality: now that's abnormal) | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 5:09:45 PM | | I concur with this response! Your "boyfriend is an insensitive jerk" Move on. But, before doing so ask yourself how secure you really are. Are you going to wallow around consuming your every thought about his answer? or are you going to accept the fact that he's an idiot and find a decent guy. There are many it appears on this site---find one that matches your profile and your profile to him. Good Luck | |
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RJB888
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Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 18 | |
| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 6:21:49 PM | Yor testing him. STOP it. If my bf OUT OF THE BLUE said he wouldn't care if I dated other men. Then that is a sure sign he DOES NOT consider himself my bf. So the next day I'd be out dating someone else, but I'd let him know I have another date before I kicked him to the curb.
My view: YOU ARE STUPID! | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 6:44:31 PM | Jealousy is overrated. I don't experience the feeling and find it odd when others describe it. Maybe I'm abnormal.
I do know it irritates the guys I date because I don't display the jealousy thing. Like when they glance at other women, then, later ask me if it upset me that they look at the women or have female friends, or females chasing them (especially the ones who I know for a fact have em chasing them)..I say Nope and I mean just that... Nope. | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 6:54:57 PM | Renda...
I think what your really asking is this...'how much do you care/love me' ....that behaviour is typical of someone with a low self esteem....we tend to 'test' the other person and all we want is for that person to say..."its okay sweet heart I love you and no other"....I say 'we' because I also have low self esteem.....and slowly its getting better but there is plenty of work still to be done...
There is a great book on low self esteem by Marilyn Sorenson..."breaking the chains of low self esteem"...when I read it it was like reading my life....I refer to it often as I go through different issues and its just a process that takes time.....
Hope I have been helpful....
from Down Under | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 6:57:57 PM | | I think everyone can be jealous. It depends on whether you feel secure in the relationship. I also think some people "play" the jealousy game (a.k.a. make you jealous) to control you. Your guy probably knows you love him, and he feels secure. If you're very secure, you don't worry if they're with someone else. A bit jealous is OK. But, if they make you really jealous--they are not the right person for you. Run! | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 7:01:08 PM | rj888...
ease off....far out...she didnt ask you to give an opinion what you percieve her to be...just the situation she was in....you dont know what sort of a person she is...and what sort of past she has had...we all work through different issues at different rates.....and we ALL are a work in progress..... | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 7:03:43 PM | He said he never gets jealous. I was just trying to see if that would make him jealous, or anything would make him jealous. I just do not think it is normal to have absolutely no jealousy. That is all.
I didn't think women played games a 56 years of age....
OF COURSE HE SAID IT WOULD NOT BOTHER HIM....He knows you want a reaction out of him and he told you "no it would not bother him" and now you are posting on this site...
Hate to say it, you're little game didn't work.. | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 7:04:30 PM | | Gamez ~ Gamez ~ Oh the gamez people play. Life & relationships are so simple az long az respect iz applied. And you dist him hun. | |
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| jealousy
Posted: 12/24/2006 7:06:07 PM |
ease off....far out...she didnt ask you to give an opinion ????
she asked for people's views in a public forum | |
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