| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:16:31 PM | Is there anyone out there that has gone through the court system and found out the reality of trying to get either shared custody or joint custody of their children. If you have what was your decision and or details so I know if I stand a chance on getting equal time.
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Thanks
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:19:10 PM | | <----my older son lives with me..was his choice...my only thought on the whole matter is both parents..should do whats right for the kids..put the needs of the kids ahead of your own.... | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:19:58 PM | well over here in the uk dads dont have many rights when they split up with their partners..the courts always seem 2 lean more 2wards the mum,thats y we have the fathers4justice group
i hope all goes well 4 u & its nice 2 hear from a dad who actually wants 2 spend time with their children,i hope the court treats u equally x | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:20:47 PM | | Totally agree about the kids, but, if the ex doesnt want to play "fair" then what if any chance do I stand trying to get time (equal) with my kids? | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:22:21 PM | | you cant control what she does...just keep the focus on teh kids do what you can..with what time you have...dont use the kids as a tool to get back at her...just a thought.. | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:23:03 PM | Sorry all, Im in Alberta canada so if you have any background or experience from here please let me know.
Thx | |
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OLG
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Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 7 | |
| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:24:55 PM | keepontrying,
Hate to break it you, but the chances are slim to none. Mind you, that's in Ontario. If the mother decides to not play fair, you had better be prepared to hire a good lawyer and open your life up. Every little secret or private moment is fair game. I wish you the best of luck. I've been there and done that. | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:24:56 PM | | keepontrying, i would hope this is something you and your wife could work out for the sake of the kids. although courts sometimes will side with the women in these cases. i have seen people with joint custody. there was someone in the navy with me that had joint custody of his kids. she lived in cal. and he lived in connecticut. so it can be done. sometimes it also has to do with how good an attorney you have if she wants to play hardball. | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:25:10 PM | | hey man my brother's ex-wife is giving him trouble over his visitation. she has kept him form seeing his son for a year now. it's a pretty complex story, i'll tell it to you sometime if you like. if you get any good advice, let me know so that i can tell my bro. | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:27:47 PM | | Trying not to go through the system but how do you approach someone that feels she is a better parent and bases every thought on that? The kids deserve a mother & father until they decide otherwise so now what?...Any asdvice on approaching the situation would be great also if you have an arrangement what is it (time spent) | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:29:31 PM | Never give up!
My ex did and now he will have regrets for the rest of his life because he and his only son are more like friendly aquaintances than father/son!
Best wishes in your fight for your rights!! | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:30:20 PM | | thanks biz I will look into it, but real life situations and what actually happenend to those out there s really what Im looking for because the system doesnt always follow there own rules and I would like some personal stories, good, bad and then I can decide from there... | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:31:14 PM | | Hey ot...whats your story from a female perspective? do men stand a chance for equal access? | |
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OLG
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Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 15 | |
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warmth
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Joined: 3/27/2005
Msg: 16 | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 4:21:09 PM | He gave up because he's an ass!
Never had to fight for anything in his life and didn't know how to begin to handle a battle with his first wife...she's a pro!!
I took care of all visitation, childsupport payments, and travel arrangements.
We're also talking almost 20 years ago in south florida.....men really didn't have much of a chance then....
Things have slowly changed here in florida and now he's willing to fight....to have my girl live with him.
My only real problem is that he uses pot daily and has offered it to her in the past, his use has contributed to his methods of parenting being all over the place, nothing consistent.
Should men have more equality regarding their kids and access to them?
Absolutely!!!! To me a parent is a parent regardless of their gender and our children need both parents to be equally in their lives in order to feel fully loved and have true balance in the general order of things.
Gad!!! Didn't mean to go on and on and on........! | |
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OLG
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Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 18 | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 6:58:38 PM | I'm in the process now of getting legal joint custody of my step daughter. Her father, who raised her (with me) the last 9 years, died last summer and I have to keep in her life or she won't have much of one. My main goal, by attempting to get custodial parent is to walk away with at least joint custody. Then, when she runs away from her mother, which will happen, as it did with her two half sisters, she will have a place to go...to me. She won't be on the street like they were. The battle was supposed to be over a week ago. We've rescheduled for this Thursday, because she fired her lawyer.
It's all about the kids. Your strength is in continuously letting them know they are #1 in your life. Like, if you get attached to another woman, introduce them, but ask their opinions and talk about it. They deserve to know where they stand with you. That's the sort of thing that will keep you tight with them. My son has met my current POF bf and approves...YEAH!
I hated my son's father, but it wasn't right for me to alienate him from the **stard. So I actually helped pay for plane fares, etc... That's just playing fair. The fact that my son is NOT close to his father is because his father brings that on himself in his own way. He can never say it's because of me or my son.
You will be granted joint custody if you only ask for it. All she can do is attempt to say you were bad, evil, whatever. Unless someone can document physical pain inflicted, you will get joint custody. It may be costly - mine is, but it is worth every penny. Best of luck! | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 7:30:34 PM | Here's a case of the father winning:
I'm allowing my daughter to go experience living with her dad.
He's changing jobs so he can be home with her every evening and while it feels like my guts are being ripped out and stomped on, I'm going to do it anyway.
If I don't then there will be the usual nightmare battles in court and I can't do that to her.
She has to come first in my life while she grows up and I can't deliberately hurt her that way. She shouldn't feel like she has to choose and she does need to know her dad.
ASny advice? | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 7:36:08 PM | Ash...good luck dear. That little girl is very lucky to have you in her life....You make us women proud...Group hug... redneckgirl133 | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 7:38:02 PM | | hotbush you rule! I am a single dad with a 10 year old son. I have had him every outher week for the moast of his life, his mom just moved away ( about 7 hours drive time ) and it was the toughest thing I have ever done ( to let him go without a fight ) he wanted to go with her. I just hope and pray that one day he will want to be more involved with his dear old dad, for now I will have him for the summer and I will take what I can get . Thanks for leting a dad be a dad to his child, he may not say it but I know hw appreactes it. | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 7:42:53 PM | Hotbush...Everything will be okay...her dad is a man you once loved...remember???? She will be just fine and she needs to know her dad...He is a very important person in her life...and she will model all relationships she has with the men in her life after the relationship she has with her dad...He loves her too, and trust that she will tell you if she isn`t happy...I know this is very hard, because as women we have protected them their whole life...But now...it maybe time to let go alittle...I`m here if you need a soft place to fall...redneckgirl133 | |
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| Child Custody & Dads Rights
Posted: 4/4/2005 7:49:15 PM | | redneckgirl133 now you rule, there are a lot of deep thinkers here and that is a GOOD thing! | |
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