| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/29/2006 11:32:08 AM | What I mean is all these male posts that say for example "Men are visual creatures, women look to the heart". Well this is one variation. Another is "Men go for good looks, women go for power, money etc."
My personally feelings is that women are pretty simliar to men, and choose on looks primarily, although good lookers that don't put forth in other areas likely get the boot fairly quickly. I actually think it appears that women are even worse today, because they are the ones getting the offers (in most cases) so they can choose on best aesthetic criteria.
That last part is completely theory, but do those of you who don't mind being honest, I mean I already know with as many women have admitted that attraction is important, but can we put this thing to bed that guys care so much more about looks than women do? | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/29/2006 12:19:54 PM | | When I see men dating successful, potbellied, middle aged women with thinning hair, warm hearts and great personalities, I'll concede the point. Until then, I think it's safe to say that a majority of men are more hung up on looks than women are. *wink* | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/29/2006 12:24:51 PM | I'm shallow ... I'll admit to it. I notice outward appearance first. If that's all good, I look on a deeper level. Power and money don't do a thing for me though. Tall, dark and handsome is more my style. And brains. They gots to have some brains...and maybe a Harley... | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/29/2006 3:20:59 PM | | I don't personally go for "good looks", but let's face it, deeper things about a person are unveiled through their facial expressions, the way they move and hold themselves, their style - you cannot ignore appearance! Think about it - you can often see cleverness at a glance. It is nonsense to say, as many do, that it is somewhat shallow to be concerned about these things. One's entire appearance reveals volumes about who they are on the inside. | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:22:41 PM | | Aces - ready for the truth? Sure you can handle it? When we are young, women are as superficial about looks as men are. As we get older and have real life experience we find there is more to want than looks. There is personality, integrity, faithfulness, etc. These are the things most women find attractive as we mature. That does not mean we will settle for toads that are jerks. | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:46:03 PM | I think it starts with looks. What I find impossible to understand is the high expectations some people have. I've been on some dates with women my age with like 2 or 3 kids and although they were decent looking enough, they weren't goddesses by any stretch of the imagination and yet they left our date quickly later stating that I wasn't attractive enough for them. Now I may not be Brad Pitt, but I'm no ugly duckling, and especially compared to my date I think I was certainly not an embarrasment by any means. This has occurred a couple of times after having clicked on the telephone. And I look exactly like my pictures. So you tell me, ladies. What's the deal with that? Please and thank you.
NK. | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:50:49 PM | I will admit that I look at photos and want a man that I myself find attractive, but if you lined up every guy i've dated you'd see a lot of variation in age, weight, height, hair color, eye color, skin color....if was something about that individual person that i found attractive...maybe it was one guys eyes, or his smile...hell one guy i dated because his lips were just so suckable, and he had dreamy blue eyes....some of the guys others might not find attractive but the thing is, I did...and that's what counts...i need physical and mental stimulation....I can't tell you how many hot young studs, and a few older ones, have asked me out, or asked me to have sex...and i've turned them down...they just didn't appeal to me and it was probably the way they acted or something they said...it's one thing to be a hottie, but when the things coming out your mouth are disresptful or just stupid then i don't want to hang with you....
as for money and power, been there and done that...money doesn't buy happiness....that being said i want a man who can pull his own weight...who has a job he loves and is self sufficient...I dont want to support him any more than i go after a man to support me... | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:54:40 PM | Sorry, but I think that you women who say you want a smart man are full of it.
Maybe what you really mean is, you don't want someone noticably dumber than you.
Edit: that didn't come out right. What I meant was, you don't want a guy smarter than you or dumber than you by any appreciable margin. | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/30/2006 4:31:01 PM | I don't think women are any different from men in this recpect.
In all honestly, how many of you could say that if the ugliest person in world came up to you in a bar and asked you for a date, you'd say yes?
Good looks are what attract us all to strangers, initially. It's animal instinct and it's in all of us. Obviously any sustainable relationship has to have more than good looks to survive.
I do want a smart man. But I am happy to admit that I don't want anyone smarter than me simply because I do not want to feel stupid. I don't think that men want it any differently. | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/30/2006 5:21:03 PM | But Smith, if we are that honest, then we are immediately labeled as snobby b*tches and know-it-all's. Are men intimidated with a woman who can converse on an equal basis instead of just quietly sitting there batting her eyelashes at every word he utters, no matter how intelligent (or stupid) he sounds? 
I've been reluctant to put something like that in my profile because I'm afraid that men really don't want an intelligent woman. I've had men tell me that I'm very well spoken, but secretly, I'm wondering if it's a back-hand compliment - that I'm speaking more intelligently than they can understand. | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/30/2006 5:34:32 PM | >>But Smith, if we are that honest, then we are immediately labeled as snobby b*tches and know-it-all's.
Yep. And guess what? It doesn't help if you don't require equal intelligence in a mate.
Like someone just said, they won't want you because you make them feel stupid.
Lonely world, isn't it?
>>Are men intimidated with a woman who can converse on an equal basis instead of just quietly sitting there batting her eyelashes at every word he utters, no matter how intelligent (or stupid) he sounds?
Nah. At least, I'm not. I have a F friend who is a little smarter than me--I enjoy hashing out problems with her (we are both trained in veterinary medicine, and we talk about that usually). | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/30/2006 5:39:46 PM | ^^ Yes, I guess it is. So until some man comes along that is actually turned on by what I say (no sexual innuendos here) mine will remain that way. 
And I commend you and your F friend for the ease of conversation. It's hard meeting new people who ask what you do for a living but then don't really care to listen to details. Personally, I'd love to hash out vet-talk - although I'm not trained, I worked for one a few years back. I'm in close contact with my own vet ($$ - darn those sick critters!) and we enjoy being able to talk on an intelligent level. (Meaning, he doesn't have to dumb-it down for me to understand) | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/30/2006 5:59:22 PM |
Sorry, but I think that you women who say you want a smart man are full of it.
Well, we are even then. I think men who say they prefer a kind, good hearted, decent woman over hot bimbo are full of it.
I don't only want a smart men, I won't settle for anything less than a man who is brilliant and keeps me on my toes intellectually. I have my physical preferences and what I find attractive about men, but they go out the window when I meet a really intelligent man.
I have been known to consider discussion of physics as foreplay. Military history makes me moist. A man who codes cleanly in PERL? Oh baby! | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/30/2006 6:12:45 PM | Example. Some guy 15 years younger approached my on here, I asked what he wanted. He was a stud. Actually told me he was a male stripper in his earlier days. I was initially attracted to him, and thought oh what the heck go for it old girl LOL. However, as I tryed to carry on a conversation with him online he could not hold his attention on any subect or anything for any amount of time. Well my fantasy was destroyed within two or three attempted conversations with the man online. What a waste of time and effort on my part. Looks can only carry so far people.  | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/30/2006 6:14:55 PM |
A man who codes cleanly in PERL? Oh baby!
Ah, *taken*  , but I'm a firm believer in comments. I've seen some great code, with nothing more than a comment at the top, and I think its just plain old *ugly*. I'm a firm believer in commenting moreso than less, for the simple fact that even myself in the future will want to be able to follow my code.
But, on topic, looks only go so far. I would far rather take an intelligent woman who was "plain" than an "airhead" that was drop dead gorgeous. That being said, any woman that stimulates me intellectually is gorgeous in her own right, regardless of her adherance to what "society" thinks of her attractiveness. Geez, wouldn't anyone want someone they can hold an intelligent conversation with, over plan old looks?? | |
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| Do women believe what guys say about them when it comes to looks?
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:51:31 PM | | I have to admit, I go for looks first...but not in the way that you think. I am no beauty queen and what I consider good-looking is not the same as say Miss America. But there are certain atributes that I find attractive. Eyes, smile...it's different with each person. I don't like large bellied men, but I do like big men. funny, considering I'm 5'3". You can keep the whole money and power thing...I don't want a man to support me. I can do that on my own. But, if he wants to buy me a Harley.... | |
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