| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 6:22:49 PM | | I recently met a couple of girls online, both attractive women, and both seemed very excited about meeting me for the first time, more excited than I was it seemed. Anyway after the dates they both seemed as if they lost A LOT of interest in me and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. Then tonight I am talking to the most recent one on the phone and she tells me that in a lot of my photos I don't look like myself. I asked her a couple of times if this a good or bad thing? and she just replies by saying you just don't look the same in some of them. I am a little concerned now. It's not like I am enhancing these photos or anything! In fact two of the ones she mentioned are two of the most recent ones so its not like I am using old photos either. None of my photos are more than 2 years old. Also they are all purely just snapshots that my ex-girlfriend took of me, nothing professional looking about these photos at all! The only thing she told me is that I look skinnier in person. Anyway I really don't know what to do. She has me thinking that I look better in my photos than I do in person. Is it possible women are being disappointed once they meet me cause they don't think I look as good? Or am I just being paranoid. What do you think? Thanks. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 6:31:25 PM | If it were a "good" different, she'd be raving at how much better you look in person or how she's pleasantly surprised, or how your pics don't do you justice, blah, blah, blah.
If she doesn't elaborate on what she means when she says "you look different", it means she is disappointed and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you. Sorry. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 6:31:47 PM | | They were deluding themselves... it has been said that the strongest aphrodesiac is the human mind.. and they were hitting on a dream, not on you. So when they saw that you put on your pants one leg at a time, just like the rest of us, it was a letdown. Don't sweat it, there are thousands of similar ones out there, shallow as a drop of spit, and they all judge you by your photo. They aren't worth obsessing about, and they did you a favour by letting you know immediately. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 6:45:40 PM | There's the ole "the camera adds 10 pounds" joke in there somewhere, but lets not go there 
I would tend to agree with what was posted above tho. If they were viewing you as better in person than in your photos they would probably be complimenting you instead of just leaving it as "you look different than your photos"
If someone is going to stop seeing you based on just that, then I would just happily move on and look for someone who's looking a little more than skin deep.
Key | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 6:50:24 PM | | I wouldnt invest my valuable time to even ponder what these women thought If I were you. Both obviously are quite superficial In their perception of a what makes a great guy. I doubt any of us continue to be a mirror image of out photo after posting It. We get haircuts, we gain and lose weight, face adversities in our lives that effect our appearance. That was no doubt, a tough pill for you to swallow but one that ultimitely benefits you In the longrun. When women question If I look like my pics I tell them " On THAT day, I looked EXACTLY like that!" Good Luck Jeff. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 6:50:35 PM | Obviously, it is bad. She decided to meet you. She would not have done that if she didn't like the photo. So if she thinks you look different in person, then it was different to what she originally liked.
The fact that she would have the nerve to say that, means one of two things: Either your photos are a complete lie, or they are not, and she is a rude, uncouth biatch. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 7:01:49 PM |
That was no doubt, a tough pill for you to swallow but one that ultimitely benefits you In the longrun.
Yes it was but I will say it isn't the first time its been said. My ex told me the same thing and I met her online but we stayed together for almost 2 years, and would still be together if I hadn't broke up with her. I guess I might just have to stop the online dating thing cause honestly I think I look the same in all of my pictures. I just can't figure it out. I don't even fix myself up for half of these pics. Most of them I haven't shaved in 3 days, my hair is shaggy and I am wearing my work out clothes! haha I guess that must be attractive. From now on I won't shave before I go on a date. | |
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uk28
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Joined: 8/9/2006
Msg: 10 | |
| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 8:39:52 PM | | Yes. I would also put up several different kinds of photos. Sometimes people do look different. If they have nice selection you can get a better idea overall. Regardless, why don't you ask one of your friends to have a look and be honest. Much more objective. Either way, I wouldn't sweat it too much. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 9:00:41 PM | Why would anyone bother to contact you? With the number of eligible men here, its a mystery anybody would answer an query of interest from you.
Your profile doesn't say jackshit! No photo, 'prefer not to say' for just about every category, and zippitydoodah for profile description (which you forgot to fill in 'later').
I suppose you could have changed between 23 and 25. More likely, if you don't bother to shave or dress for a photo, you aren't going to look the same as when you show up groomed for a date. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 10:19:21 PM | Your profile doesn't say jackshit! No photo, 'prefer not to say' for just about every category, and zippitydoodah for profile description (which you forgot to fill in 'later').
ummm I am not looking for people on this site. I only use POF for the forums. I use myspace and others for online dating. So that is why it says prefer not to say and fill in later, cause I have no interest in looking for people on this site. If you would have paid attention it says I am only looking for friends on my profile too but I guess you didn't pay attention. Not too smart are you?? Next time use your head before you bash someone. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 10:25:45 PM | | It's always kind of ironic when a woman tells a guy he doesn't look like his photos. This stuff usually comes from women who change her hair style, hair color, clothing style, makeup preferences, dietary habit etc. To me that means appearance is more important than substance to her. Don't lose sleep wondering if this is bad. It's good--she weeded herself out of your dating options--you can move on to a woman who is less concerned about WHAT you are and more concerned about WHO you are. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 11:07:57 PM | BowledOver....I'd have to agree with you on this one for sure. I always thought I looked the same as I did on my pics, but after meeting a few girls they all have said how my pics don't do me justice.....it was all news to me.
jefoo2:
Don't worry about it though man, theres a girl who'll appreciate you for you out there somewhere. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 11:11:23 PM | | so much for pictures huh? Pictures to me can be deceiving, not saying that in your case this is a bad thing. But for example I found out with pics you can take good and bad depending on lighting and angles, colors you take them, now what i am getting at you might have shown them a great picture of yourself dthey blew you up be fabio or something and when you didn't look like that they were surprsed that's all, hell that might have thought you looked better in person, personally I prefer good old fashioned face to face that way there are no surprises. | |
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kame
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Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 18 | |
| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 11:23:03 PM | | Why dont you buy a Quick Cam and connect it to your computer they dont cost hardly anything ...you should update your pictures at least every 2 months if not more ...a persons looks can change alot within 2 years its best not to be putting ones on that old. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/29/2006 11:56:40 PM | I agree, only current pictures should be on profiles - preferably only a few months old; definitely no older than one year.
I agree with what has been said - some women are shallow and are attracted to a picture. Let's call it what it is. It doesn't mean that you are guilty of fraud, it means that the women you are meeting didn't feel a connection once they meet you and you should simply accept it. I wouldn't sweat over it though or get paranoid. Remember, not all women are like that so don't judge the entire pond by a few. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/30/2006 12:52:22 AM | I have to agree ~ older photos are never a good idea. People change and some change drastically in a couple of years (depending on lifestyle, age, diet, exercise regime, etc.) Current photos and don't post your "best" pictures.
I think the saying: Undersell and over-deliver is the right idea. I'd much rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed. JMO  | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:30:36 AM | Superficial?... Cmon people... in a Utopian world... we'd all be with partners for the pureness of their heart.... but that isnt the case. People want to be with a partner they find attractive. It's just the way it is.
If she isnt saying anything GOOD about you looking different... let me tell you... shes isnt finding you attractive..
The fact your pictures are 2 years old says alot... get them updated... Im of the mind I dont want to see pics that are more than 6 months old.... We're in a technological era... it can be done.. there are no excuses. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:51:55 AM | Agreed. :)
What she means is she is not finding you attractive but is too polite to say it out loud. You should be glad that she's telling you this cuz it takes away any awkward misunderstandings the two of you might have later on.
In addition, since more than 1 girl have told you that you look different in your photos, it's probably time for new pictures! :)
As the guy ahead of me has already mentioned, this is the age of technology! Old pictures have no excuse!
Good luck and happy fishing! :D | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 12/30/2006 8:13:07 AM | | I seldom meet anyone who looks exactly like their pics on here. A few actually have looked better. Most look worse. Maybe they choose flattering camera angles to post. I think possibly the problem is your personality isn't the same. It's hard to convey your true self chatting or e-mailing. You're probably just being paranoid about the photos. Or maybe they're just shallow and were expecting Prince Charming. | |
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| Is it bad when she says I don't look like myself in my photos?
Posted: 9/14/2008 12:12:30 AM | | I think it's bad if the OP takes it as such. It's a matter of self-perception and how you handle others' opinions. If you're sure within yourself that you don't let it distract you from what's important, thats more relevant than what someone thinks of your looks. | |
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its her perception and/or expectations that are bad 
