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 Brooksie123
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 1
First MessagesPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
So what kind of first message email from a guy catches your eye??

Chris
 sammy salt
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 2
First Messages
Posted: 1/3/2007 6:20:14 PM
Talk like you knew someone your whole life, and you might get one back.
 belly18dancer
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 3
First Messages
Posted: 1/3/2007 6:30:53 PM
wow how many times have i answered this same topic today...it's so redundant

but here i go again, actually read her profile and choose to mention something you found interesting in that email...

and if she hits read/delete, it means, she is not interested, so don't sweat it and move on ....
 Brooksie123
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 4
First Messages
Posted: 1/3/2007 6:35:17 PM
lol - I agree with you there, but it's funny - I get way more emails sent to me as a first message than I do as a first response.

It almost seems like it's best not to post messages!! lol
 bedroomiis
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 5
First Messages
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:07:41 PM
Here's one that I got that caught my eye....truth or dare?
 MissIntellect
Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 6
First Messages
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:11:18 PM
I delete all messages that say "What are you doing on here?"
Rolling my eyes lol
 Brooksie123
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 7
First Messages
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:12:31 PM
lol - or what brings you on POF - lol I hear ya - but what would 'catch' you?
 talista
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 8
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First Messages
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:32:13 PM
he he, an e-mail in general catches my eye...because I do not have a picture up.

Hence I know they are genuinely e-mailing for my profile, and not for my picture...unless it is someone with an obscene Asian fetish.

But that is another thread.
 digital_shot
Joined: 12/27/2004
Msg: 9
First Messages
Posted: 2/5/2007 8:57:07 PM
Hows this for a first message.

I emailed someone and sent them praise for a well written profile. What reply did I get???

I got Blocked by this person.

Now I know that I am definitely the better person and she is not worth my time.
 DentedKnight
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 10
First Messages
Posted: 2/5/2007 10:23:32 PM
Hey Brooksie, not sure if it will help, but here are a couple of pointers...

1) Women will look at your pic. If you are fat, scary dude, it's all over (not you)
2) The tag line on your msg is critical. Must be intruiging, original, and somewhat whacky. Think highschool.

3) If your first paragraph doesn't tie the tag, your profile and what she is kinda interested in all together think "Read Deleted". Women are great, but they have short attention spans where relevance is concerned.

4) Avoid "Hey Baby." and other such nonsense. Syntax and spelling are important, well more so than grammar anyway.

5) READ her profile. I mean the bits about, "I go to the gym", "Must love dogs", and "Want a man that respects me". Direct marketing is all about targeting the right audience.

6) Be clear, succinct, funny, and direct. Harder to do in print than in person it is true, but if you can be clear in print, there is an expectation you can be clear in person.

Just a couple of pointers off the top
 smith2267
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 11
First Messages
Posted: 2/6/2007 12:31:30 AM
>>I do not have a picture up.
Hence I know they are genuinely e-mailing for my profile, and not for my picture

Gee, I hope I don't accidentally tell everyone you're pretty and blow your cover...OOPS! Damn. Now I've done it.
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 12
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Posted: 2/6/2007 3:47:20 AM
Dor me, I like emails that are more than making a comment about my looks or body. Those I read and delete. I like emails that are more than asking me for my MSN or giving me theirs. Those I also read and delete. I like emails that show intelligence, good humor and have comments about my profile.

First emails can be hard so I am not that hard on people when it is their first email.

~Carrie
 smith2267
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 13
First Messages
Posted: 2/6/2007 5:53:04 AM
>>First emails can be hard so I am not that hard on people when it is their first email.

YOu're not?? You sound pretty picky to me.
 DreamGurl2007
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 14
First Messages
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:14:56 PM
I'm going to repeat what most have already said:

[u]Do's[/u]
Spell check.. no one is perfect, but come on!
READ HER PROFILE FIRST!!
*if she mentionned her name... don't ask her for it!
*if she doesn't have any pictures... don't comment on how nice her smile is!
Show some personality... in my profile, I request a joke be sent with any message. No joke = no reply, plain and simple.


[u]Dont's[/u]
"how are you?" or "Hey baby, wanna f***?" or "s'up?"
if you say pretty much nothing in your message and your profile is blank ("will fill this is later").. DELETE!
be original.. don't copy paste the same message to 15 women and expect all of them to reply ("Hi, I came accross your profile. you seem like a very down to earth person. We should chat sometime.." You get the idea..)
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT include your phone # or email address in a first message. This tells me you're either very pushy, or just plain desperate.


Just my personal opinion!!!

Hope we're helping!
 summerbout
Joined: 9/20/2006
Msg: 15
First Messages
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:49:29 PM
Ha-ha. What about second e-mails.
A man wrote me, a brief e-mail , telling me how fun IMing is, and wanting me to open a yahoo IM. I wrote back and told him e-mails are also fun, and that I didnt have Yahoo IM on my computer.

He wrote back called me hon, and signed it Love Ya, With his Yahoo e-mail address. LOL

Called me honey after a couple one-liners, and signed it Love Ya,

Read-delete.

It sounded kind of sleezey to me.

So dont call her honey and dont sign it Love Ya, when you dont even know her.
 sweetnsourgal
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 16
First Messages
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:49:48 PM
A genuine response to something that they may have read in my profile is always nice, or a funny play off something I wrote that makes me giggle. "Wanna chat!" doesn't freakn cut it!
 just_Kats
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 17
First Messages
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:54:19 PM
I can only agree that reading my profile from the beginning to the end and being able to prove it in the first email will actually gain my respect... as it's probably not an easy task..

don't go for quantity.. it's not true that the more emails you're going to send, the bigger your chances of someone responding..
qunatity is the key.. pick up things that make a profile of this very girl different from all the others and use it in your email..

and one more thing.. ^^^ the joke in the email;) don't try it with all the girls.. just those, who request it.. :)

... and don't get disappointed with the lack of answers.. it really isn't personal..
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 18
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Posted: 2/6/2007 2:54:54 PM
The consensus is pretty much to read a woman's profile and make a comment about it. If I am interested, this will catch me and you'll get a response which makes it clear I am interested. If I'm not, I will return e-mail with thanks but I won't return the interest.
 TearsAreCool
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 19
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Posted: 2/6/2007 9:47:17 PM

So dont call her honey and dont sign it Love Ya, when you dont even know her.


Excellent point, sweetums.

Forever yours,

TearsAreCool
 Mikedude83
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 20
First Messages
Posted: 2/6/2007 11:43:35 PM
Since messages are timestamped, would a woman notice/care if I send a first message that proves I was up ridiculously late at night, like right now? I mean does it affect the first impression?
 xinix
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 21
First Messages
Posted: 2/7/2007 1:09:35 AM
dentedknight an' dream-gurl just about say it all -

i get very tired of this:
"hi baby" - i'm a woman -
"wozzup" or "what u up to" - up te no good? -
"ye wanna chat" - ummm, why am i here?
"do ye feel horny?" - absolutely no
"have ye got msn" - no way!!!
"hi - asl plz" - why did i bother with a profile !?
etc etc etc . . . yawn


i'd answer te everyone if they'd have something te say,
a real reason fer chattin' tae me - i can be intellectual,
i can be humorous, i can be interesting, an i can be just plain fun -
if you are.

incidentally, i never block anyone . i answer all my posts,
but first liners are so important te target an impression
 TheDancingQueen
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 22
First Messages
Posted: 2/7/2007 2:21:23 AM
If it was me, I would write 5 very good stock emails. Decent sized ones that were interesting and humorous. Then I would do some small edits and a little tweaking based on the person's profile.

Then I would use those same 5 emails over and over again. My thought is the first five emails, everyone talks about the same things anyway, might as well have it all scripted out ahead of time so you can copy and paste.

If you can get past 5 emails ,then start writing on your own to that person.

If the purpose of these sites is to save time while getting results, I don't know why people don't use stock emails/templates. I know some people get offended by that, but that's only because it makes them feel less "unique" and less "special"

I would rather talk to a guy who did a bang up job of making five extremely well written and planned scripted emails than talk to someone who kind of muddled around trying to make an impression.
 GreatAttitude
Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 23
First Messages
Posted: 2/7/2007 4:56:04 AM
Mentioning something I've stated in my profile. This tells me that he ACTUALLY read what I had to say.

HUGE points in my book. Not that I'm keeping score you understand.
 ihmmy
Joined: 6/3/2006
Msg: 24
First Messages
Posted: 2/7/2007 1:48:40 PM
As others have said...

Pull something from her profile to comment on. If she lists one of her favourite musicians and you like their music too, ta-dah you have something in common to talk about.

Spellcheck! A few errors are normal but if it's unreadable, it gets deleted.

For the love of jebus, say something more than "hi how r u? U r pretty, call me". Give them something real to respond to, because a simple "hi how are you" just results in "I'm fine ok bye". Say something engaging, talk about politics or music or something that can result in a real conversation (obviously tied into her profile)

Humour can be good, but be careful to not be to mocking of one group or another. I went on a date with someone who started making very deprecating about a group of goths who walked by... without him knowing that many of my friends dress as goths (not always regularly, sometimes just to go out to the bar, but still...)
 itsallinthesoul
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 25
First Messages
Posted: 2/7/2007 5:34:59 PM
I got a truly amazing first e-mail from a man recently....he commented on my profile and then actually told me about himself but in a really humourous kind of way. It was more than just a couple of lines of hey babe (I am not anyone's babe yet) or hiya sexy (that does not qualify as a compliment to a woman)....it was obvious that he put some thought into the e-mail and more importantly....it was UNIQUE and grabbed my attention. In his second e-mail to me following my reply to his, he used my name no less than 3 times in the e-mail which is also something that can grab a woman's attention. Whatever you say, be original and true to who you are....if that isn't enough to attract a woman's attention, you and she are probably not compatible anyway.
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