| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/4/2007 5:52:11 PM | I'm so hurt and confused right now. When I first met my boyfriend, I thought he was such a nice guy. He'd call me everyday to ask how I was & we'd talk about everything. He really seemed to be a good guy. The last two months he just changed completely.We stopped hanging out and the only time he wanted to hang out is if he wanted sex.I caught onto that quickly and if I wanted to go to the movies or somewhere that didn't involve us being in one another's home, he'd find a way to get out of it. Then alot of the time, when I called him he wouldn't answer his phone like he used to. But if I called him on a number that he didn't recognise, he'd answer it! This should have been my sign to let this go but I couldn't let go because there were still times when he'd be sweet and he'd apologise and I'd fall for it everytime.
Then he started only calling at night and the messages would be brief. He'd call me at all times of the night and he'd be out riding in his car. I'd ask him what are you doing out so late and he would never answer me. He'd always get off of the phone with me.Then he started saying things to ruin my self-esteem. Saying that I only think of myself and that I'm not as attractive as I used to be.He can be so cruel sometimes, telling me what I need to do with myself to look more appeasing to him. It made me sick. Then he'd call later apologising saying he was a jerk but he'd go do the same thing later on.
So I started to get smart. I took drastic measures and I found out his myspace and yahoo password.I found a whole lot of devastating things. He has not told me anything about him getting a record deal and working on an album. He didn't even share this news with me and I'm supposed to be his girlfriend. My boyfriend works in the music industry as a vocal arranger and right now he's trying to make it as a singer. He keeps his personal life a secret which I hate entirely. He's met alot of famous people and he may make it big but the jerk doesn't deserve it. He's very talented but his personality stinks and everyone thinks he's just such a funny good guy like I was fooled to believe.
He's been on numerous sex sites meeting up with all kinds of women and to make it bad, it seems like he talks and meets someone new everyday!!! In some of the messages he even brag about how good the sex was and all of the kinky stuff they do. I even thinks he's been with prositutes. There's one message from a lady and her screenname is ladybancock84. In the message it said " Sorry to have contacted you on your yahoo address but you left something here and you can return here to retrieve it, thank you." He's such a lousy creep and I'm so hurt and in shock right now. It makes sense why he hardly answered his phone and why he's been out all night cruising around. He's been with lots of women and probably even trying to talk to prositutes out in the street.
So I confronted him about it yesterday and all he could do was hang up in my face.I tried to call him back and text him to finish this and he won't even respond and answer me back which really hurts me and makes me even more angrier!I'm so disgusted and hurt, what makes it so bad was he was the one who came to me and sweet talked me at first in the beginning. I was really cool in being friends with him but he had to change on me. This is going to be sooo hard for me, I hardly have any friends as it is and when he was the sweet guy, I had found someone that was there for me but all of that changed. So here I am lonely hurt and confused over this punk. It will kill me if he makes it big as a singer and here I am left with nothing... | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/4/2007 6:47:09 PM | First you should have known something was wrong, next time don't ignore all the red flags...Secondly you had no business getting his passwords and reading his email. You knew he was cheating, but that gives you no right to invade someones privacy. The fact that you even thought of it should have told you there was no trust, no trust no relationship. I feel you was very immature in your actions. Be a grown woman next time and ask him bluntly, if he refuses to talk tell him you're done with him. Like one person has alreadys stated be thankful you didn't catch any std's . If i was you i would make sure and get checked if you haven't already....Have a nice day ! | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/4/2007 6:52:31 PM | umm what???? you got his passwords and read his personal stuff--not cool, but not unforgiveable..........but from what you've said there's no real proof of anything....these could be business contacts.......and i'm the last one to defend a slimeball........so i won't......but why didn't you just walk away in the first place? and now that you know all of this, you don't need anything else from this guy!! Just walk away  | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/4/2007 7:16:59 PM | I understand what I did was wrong but I got alot of proof. He's been actually talking to a whole bunch of females like I had thought. I understand what I did was extreme but he was driving me crazy. I lost my self respect and my self esteem getting involved with him, I feel pretty stupid and pathetic going through his stuff but at least now I have proof that my suspicions were true.
Now I am alone and I'm hurt and bitter. We have had sex before and we've always used protection. But now I'm worried about Std's because I've seen him talk to a whole bunch of women on sex sites trying to get sex. From the looks of it he is very promiscuos and that scares me alot. What are the chances of me still catching an STD with a condom being used?
Right now I'm very confused but I guess I will get over this in time... | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/4/2007 7:26:24 PM | Why are you even wasting your time thinking about this pustule of a human being? You have seen his true side,you have found out that he is scum...and yet your still thinking of him?I hope you aren't waiting for anyone to tell you to give him another chance...if I were you I'd get an STD test,and mooooove on!! If you spend one more second on this man,then you have you no one to blame but yourself for your misery.
I'm sorry to sound harsh,but you need to hear the truth. | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/4/2007 7:31:24 PM | you only did something wrong if you believe it was wrong for you. when he became evasive and you chose to seek the truth..alot of people will do as they see is right for them to get the answers that are required.
at least your way you got all the proof and the real truth you required. now you can deal with it all and in time heal yourself and the hurt its brought on you.
as for the std aspect..get checked...a condom or any other protection used is not always guaranteed or unfoulable. there are more ways than intercourse for them to be transmitted.
just believe in yourself and trust in yourself that you are worth alot more than this guy did to you and the deceptions he did.
he can go on to make great music by himself in a blackhole with his actions right now. be glad you will see the sun daily.
you are young and this will just give you more strength as you grow to be you and trust in your own instincts. | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/5/2007 1:05:52 AM | First off, I am sorry for what you are going threw...He is NOT a good person and as for him making it "big" as a singer well, he isn't making it big as a "human being"...
I know of lot's of people who have recorded albums and it doesn't mean a thing...
He really is a terrible guy and you are so much better off with out him.
His behavior towards you constitutes, "abuse"...His devaluing of you and manipulation
of your feelings is very abusive and just plain mean...He will get his...he is on a ego trip
and it will catch up with him...don't worry about this so-called record deal...It doesn't mean a thing...He has to compete with a big world here and there are plenty of talented people, who cut record deals and get absolutely "no where"...and he is no where, he is devoid of feelings and is a complete loser...you are young, learn from this and he will get his, i assure you he will...and if he comes crawling back, tell him to do us all a favor and commit suicide... | |
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mary27
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Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 13 | |
| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/5/2007 2:08:17 AM | The good thing about this is...now you know what a great guy dosn't do.Fish again lovely,so many wonderfull men out there.And even if he makes it big...who cares,how you are treated and feel are what matters.Money and fame are nothing, health ,happiness,and love are what life is all about. Take care sweet child and know you are worth so much more. | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/5/2007 3:39:43 AM |
I'm so disgusted and hurt, what makes it so bad was he was the one who came to me and sweet talked me at first in the beginning.
Apparently that's what he's doing with all the others as well. Player big time!!!
I'm so hurt and confused right now.
I can understand the hurt, but having a hard time with the confused part. Seems to me there is nothing to be confused about. He was a sweet talking player who used you, and by the sounds of it many others. Be thankful it never led to a more serious relationship down the line. | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/5/2007 6:42:36 AM | You are probably angry at yourself as well... "how could I be so dumb?"
I know its hard to accept that what you wanted isn't "real". Try to realize the red flags you chose to ignore... learn to trust your instincts next time.
If you ever feel the need to snoop into a guys stuff, you need to get out. | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/5/2007 7:19:44 AM |
So I started to get smart.
After he was basically ignoring you unless he wanted sex, and not answering his phone when he knew it was you that was calling, I think the smart thing to do would have been to forget about him...
Good luck moving on and finding someone else. | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/5/2007 7:44:06 AM | This will seem to be a little cynical, and so I'll say it is a generalization. But things like this are another example amoungst many I know of, where women seem to go after the wrong guy. I've seen more than a good number of threads here from guys who a nice guys and haven't had a date in ages. I'd be one of them too.
And the ironic thing, speaking for myself, is that I always seem to have good women friends who are married and who tell me I would make a wonderful husband and father. BUT, they're already married and seeing the shortcomings of the attractive hunky guy they married.... he doesn't help with the kids or around the house, calls home late, can't spend time with the family because of his "other obligations."
Meanwhile the guy like me and others who DO NOT look the part of "THE MAN" but who could be all those things can't even get a woman to say yes for a date.
And the sad thing 1UniquePerson is that this guy will probably find someone else quicker than you can change channels on TV. And that woman will feel he is such a wonderful guy and he'll do the same thing to her. Guess it's true, love is blind.
But like buying a used car, sometimes the guy who looks a little less than perfect is the one who always starts when you need him, always gets you where you want to go (albeit a little less stylishly) and gives you the best value for your investment. | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:10:43 AM | | theres Nothing you can do about what you are feeling. You are going to have to accept this pain and take the time to process it... and so forth. BUT, there is everything you can do about the rest. As has been said....whats to be confused about??? If you are still trying to find ways to let this guy off the hook... then that is some kind of insane thinking. This guy isn't capable of being held accountable. He obviously resorts to verbal abuse when pushed. Get away fast... and completely. And.... Let go of your resentments about him becoming successful (which he prob. won't anyway). They won't hurt him... but they will damage you considerably. | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:23:31 AM |
It will kill me if he makes it big as a singer and here I am left with nothing...
I was sympathetic with you - even though you cracked his private accounts, which is inexcusable - until I got to that last line. You deserve courtesy and honesty from this guy (and anyone), but do you really think you deserve his money?
Let me be clear. You don't deserve his money, no matter how devoted he might have been. Whatever impulse tells you otherwise is leading you astray.
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/5/2007 11:17:17 AM | I could really care less about his money. It came out the wrong way. I mean it will bother me that this guy will make it successfully when he doesn't even deserve it. I don't want him back but I'm really just bitter and hurt right now and that I didn't leave sooner.There were times where I would stop calling and he'd call me throwing that stupid sweet talk and he'd be nice all over again which I fell for.
What I find stupid is that I miss talking to him on the conversation level. There were times where we had good talks or what not and I miss that and I can't find that with anybody else. Other than that I really don't miss him at all. I'm finding it gets easier everyday!
I would like to find someone the total opposite of him. Right now I'm just going to work on me. Excercising and just focusing on me. If he do make it big, so what more power to him, he'll probably get his karma when that happens anyway. Fame doesn't bring happiness and the guy must be pretty miserable and alone if he has to meet different women everyday and prostitutes. | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prostitutes...
Posted: 1/5/2007 12:26:56 PM | Good on ya!
I'm glad money isn't an issue. And it sounds like you're planning to do the right things. I would only suggest that, since you find flattery and affection so irresistable, add them to your new regimen, but give them to yourself.
Affirmations can come off as goofy New Age or tedious church basement nonsense, but there's good to be had from telling oneself - out loud! - "I am so fine! I rock this planet!" Or whatever fries your bacon. Next time some smoove operator coos in your ear, you won't be quite so hungry for more.
Cheers!
Vulf | |
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| Boyfriend has been on sex sites & I think he's seeing prositutes...
Posted: 1/5/2007 1:01:32 PM | I have two things to offer you here, which as a disclaimer does not include all men:
#1: One of my buddies that I used to work with told me, "The only thing more exciting to a man than P*SSY is NEW P*SSY!" So, a man of this fabric will cheat with something far less than what he has got, because it is NEW.
#2: A lot of men respect their women too much to engage in what are considered perverse activities. Thus, they would rather pay a "slut" to indulge rather than to bring that to their own woman of their pedestal. Sometimes, it is about the risk of losing her, but other times, it involves treating her with respect, while not respecting the ones getting paid for it.
Either way, ther are a lot of issues that need to be examined here. | |
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