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 es138
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 1
Cold Responce vs. Read/DeletedPage 1 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
When emailing a stranger on here... of course we'd love to get a glowing responce, but with that asside, would you rather get NO RESPONCE or a COLD REPLY??????

I'd prefer a Cold Reply honestly. "You're ugly, You're Not Funny, Smokers make me sick," etc.
It would make "browsing" on here a little bit more substantial, and a little less like putting a message in a bottle.
 qt_tibbs
Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 2
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 1/6/2007 4:41:24 PM
Well if I take the time to write to someone... I think they should as well! Even if it's a thanx but no thanx kinda deal!! Even when I do reply to someone that isn't my "type" or whatever the case may be... I can show that much respect of the person. I've told several ppl in the past on here thanx but no thanx... and One guy asked why!!! I found it humorus & we chat now once in awhile... but he still knows he's not mym type!! LOL

But some ppl out here think their all that!!!! Joking!!! .... LMAO All joking aside, it takes 1 min to say sorry!!! So yah I prefer a "cold reply" to nuttin' too!!!
 PetLover99354
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 3
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Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 1/19/2007 6:27:09 PM
I think it is totally disrespectful of other people when you don't reply back. I ALWAYS sent a reply. I think people who don't are rude. Most of them would disagree. Most people claim they believe in and follow the golden rule, but the reality is that most do not. Replying to someone is an example of that. When you contact someone you wish a basic reply. No one wishes to be ignored. Therefore, people should reply to others the same way they wish people would reply to them when they make first contact.
 partynugget33
Joined: 11/29/2006
Msg: 4
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Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 1/25/2007 1:41:35 PM
cold responce way better than being treated like junk mail.
 fisher222
Joined: 1/8/2007
Msg: 5
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Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 1/30/2007 8:53:36 PM
My opinion is that we are all adults and presumably have been taught how to be polite by our parents. Therefore, I see no reason not to kindly tell someone that you are not interested and thank them for writing.
 Leb4life
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 6
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 1/31/2007 3:09:02 PM
From a Seattlite:

The Sad truth of it is, that 100% of all the girls I have E-mail in 3 years of online dating never even said a thanks but no thanks, and I agree, both men and women can take 30 seconds out of their day to few 2 sentences and say its not your fault and reasure him or her that that speical someone is one their way, and they could suit him or her better than you could, not that its true, but really its all about connecting. I always tell my connections I am not intrested in, I dont feel a connection and its not your fault and its mine, because thats the truth, after all I am severing this connection. I think it should be a rule in online dating to provide a polite thanks but no thanks, it really would make the person who is being rejected feel alot better, because you at least found the time to write.
 Come2pass
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 7
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 1/31/2007 8:07:32 PM
Don't you worry, after a while you become numb to everything

As far as what kind of response do I want to get? Well, the way I look at it, to reply to someones message is one of the easiest things in the world to do . It takes two minutes out of your day and it shows respect toward your fellow human being.

All a person has to say is, sorry, I don't think we are a good match. Good luck in your searches. Ok, that took me approx 9 seconds to type. It's all about respect. I get the feeling the folks who don't respond to you have no respect for themselves, much less anyone else.

Ok, I'm done pissing and moaning and I feel better for it
 Leb4life
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 8
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/5/2007 12:38:45 PM
well wait a minute, not everyone works that way, and no we are not a minority even women complain that men dont even give a thanks or no thanks, so really I think a civil decline should be apart of the internet dating game, especally if we take the time to write alot about ourselves and really reflect on their profile, I mean that can be tiring work and then we get the cold shoulder. I mean even just saying thanks but no thanks is enough to make me feel good and confident because they took the time to at least think about me just alittle. Its better to be told rather than not be told at all, because in a sense that even crushes someone more, I mean its just like asking a girl out in a sense and then after you muster up all your wisdom to hit on her and she does even react, save for that read deleted response which tells you in your own cruel way your not of intrest to them.
 galdar34
Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 9
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/12/2007 2:37:42 AM
If i got mail and was not interested i would tell them so, and i would like them to do the same.
 rustmouse
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 10
Cold Response vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/15/2007 10:26:44 AM
Frankly, I could go either way. Some people, who send me a one-liners, have one-line profiles and simply aren't putting any effort forth don't get a response from me. I'm not 'all that', nor do I expect that, but so little effort on their part really doesn't justify any on my part.

Others, who put some serious effort into their replies, deserve some sort of response, preferably more than "Thanks, but no thanks!". I've developed some good friendships that way, and I still correspond with them years later.

Then, there's the third type (women see this more than men) where you feel any response will wind up with you having to get a police escort to shake them off of you. (Nothing says "I love you" like a restraining order). Yeah, no response necessary, it's kind of like the homeless crazy guy who feels you would understand his situation and could sympathize with his plight against his alien overlords (is our tinfoil helmet on just a bit too tight?) so he buttonholes you on the bus. You just hope your silence will make them go away...
 FUNGIRL07
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 11
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/15/2007 12:24:36 PM
When I message some one I prefer a reply back it does not take much time to respond, but of course a nice reply is the way to go. There is no need to be rude, we are adults after all... at least I hope so
 svbob
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 12
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 2/24/2007 9:45:37 PM
My guess is there's a 50-1 ratio of men to women....at least desireable women. So the "attractive" women get a ton of attention and can be ultra choosey. You better have a great portfolio or you get the Read/Deleted.

I belong to one other dating site and get a fair number of "flirts"....then when I send a message back they go absolutely cold. What is that all about?

I would rather someone say "anything" than just delete. I've only been doing the on line dating thing for a few months (was married for 12 years prior) and so far I am not impressed.

The forum aspect is good....but that's about it.
 guynamejeff
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 13
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/3/2007 6:35:24 PM
Here's my advice. Let go of the "waiting for a response" thing. Don't look at a profile as a potential partner. Look at it as a potential friendly email from you to her. Just say something nice/clever/fun/argumentative or whatever, but press send and smile that it was fun. You might even consider deleting the sent message from your outbox so you don't obsess over when it's read.

I really enjoy the site, but it's only because I stopped falling in love with profiles. Too many broken hearts that way.
 crabstuffing
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 14
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/4/2007 10:21:14 PM
I think if people actually stopped and READ all that is in a persons profile, they wouldn't have this problem. I am very clear on who I am, what I'm about and what I'm looking for yet I still get inundated by the absolute opposite of what i'm looking for.
In the past I have sent the "thanks but no thanks" responses but that seems to be the green light for chatting. I've also been insulted and had people be very rude to me, and that is something you don't want to do with me. I can be horrible.
 Bubbles27
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 15
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/5/2007 12:35:37 AM
No respones is better than someone being a total jerk for no reason.
 MtLoopHiker
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 16
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/8/2007 8:41:01 PM
MOST of the time, I get nice responses from the people I write to. I think it's because I genuinely feel I have something to say when I write, rather than just reacting to a cute pic. The vibes do come through.

Then again, most of the people I write to are steady contributors to the forums, so they're more comfortable replying to me, anyhow.
 opticalnoise
Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 17
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Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/9/2007 10:48:57 PM

My guess is there's a 50-1 ratio of men to women


Your right in concept, but the actual ratio is more like 3 to 1 and 4 to 1 depending on the area.

You know what's funny, I used to get emailed about once a day. And sometimes I would honestly not know what to say. I will feel sort of overwhelmed and I will end up postponing it then the next thing I know a week has gone by and it would be awkward to respond. I hate that.

So yeah... a no response but didn't delete it is my way of saying 'I wish I knew how to respond to you.'
 Leb4life
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 18
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/12/2007 11:33:47 PM
easy for you to say, after all your a woman and even if a guy turned you down you can always rely on the norm of guys walking up to you and talking with you. I think the norm is more pointing twoards a polite decline and it should be done to at least forclose on the connection, if a guy or girl gives you crap about it, hey thats what the block button is for, you tried to be a good sport about it but I know some guys simply just cant understand no.
 ImJustMeKevin
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 19
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Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/17/2007 2:30:24 PM
Yea Read/Deleted sucks but I have 5x more read with no response what's that about I wonder?

Kevin
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 20
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Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/19/2007 2:21:10 AM
I'm 20 pages behind and I get 10-15 emails per day and this isn't the only site I am on, so what do you do in that instance? I actually like having a life too! LOL

M
 stenomage
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 21
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Posted: 3/19/2007 12:32:39 PM
Hey, Evrybdy ...

You do know, of course, that that "life" stuff is really overrated, right?

--gdw
 msteeca
Joined: 3/13/2007
Msg: 22
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/19/2007 7:22:03 PM

I'm 20 pages behind and I get 10-15 emails per day and this isn't the only site I am on, so what do you do in that instance? I actually like having a life too! LOL


I seem to hear things like this quite often, and in fact many women's profiles say more about who they don't want messages from than about who they are. I suppose if I were getting that many messages every day it would all look like spam to me too.

I used to write long introductory emails to profiles that impressed me, and then become frustrated when I did not receive a response. Now I just keep my emails short, and either try to write in something witty or ask a question I think she might be inclined to answer.

Maybe she'll open my message before deleting it. If she does, I want to have a short message staring her in the face that she can read in less than a few seconds.

Either way it won't bother me much if there's no reply because I only spent a few minutes on the message anyway.
 guynamejeff
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 23
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/19/2007 7:25:18 PM

I'm 20 pages behind and I get 10-15 emails per day


I think that filters are the answer to this. Would you really want to correspond with someone on the east coast? I bet a radius filter would help.
 CiscoPirateCat
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 24
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/21/2007 5:45:49 PM
I was just about to send a greeting to evrybdy but reading these posts struck a cord with me perhaps Im prejaded, but it does seem impossible @ times. One of the guys said it best when refering to the ratio (men:women online) and the mathmatical probability that you could actually get a responce or you might actually meet someone Its staggering! Well thats all the gloom I can take for now, one thing we do have on the east side is sunny skies ( Im gonna go ride my bike!)
PC
 guynamejeff
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 25
Cold Responce vs. Read/Deleted
Posted: 3/22/2007 8:01:21 AM
Nah, it's not impossible at all. Now, if you want to send one email to the hottest chick you can find and wait for a date, ya you're dreamin. But just enjoy being friendly with lots of people and you might be suprised how things end up.
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