| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 12:40:15 PM | Does anyone have any thoughts on going back to an ex even though you doubt it will be any better this time around?
Has anyone here gone back to their ex and made it work? Anyone go back to their ex and regretted it?
What would make you go back to them?
 vs  | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 12:43:37 PM | | Let me put it this way: If someone goes back to their ex without resolving the issues that drove them apart in the first place, it will 99.9 percent of the time be a *waste* of time. | |
|
| |
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 1:15:34 PM | | After the issues that drove them apart in the first place are delt with then why not :) if not then there will bound to be another break up | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 1:21:43 PM | If you doubt it's going to be better the second time around - DON'T DO IT.
Period.
No if's, and's or but's.
And yes, I have gone back to an ex knowing it probably wasn't going to be better and it wasn't. Wish I had listened to myself and my concious.
DON'T DO IT. It's doomed to fail if you feel this way. | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 1:23:18 PM | Was the second time you hit your hand with a hammer any better than the first ?
Has anyone ever hit themselves a second time and felt better about it ... or felt worse ?
I'd like to know peoples thoughts.... | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 1:28:10 PM | Shouldn't it depend on why they are ex's in the first place?
There are circumstances where a second chance is warranted. | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 1:36:25 PM |
Shouldn't it depend on why they are ex's in the first place?
There are circumstances where a second chance is warranted.
I agree! Why so many negative people her that generalize? Sometimes we need to be apart to see clearly where we are very wrong about the issue that broke us up to start with. If there is still a shred of love left and they can communicate and compromise on whatever the issues were. then the relationship is worth it. Both parties are going to have to change something to make it work. But again, if there is love there, why not give it a chance?
If the love is gone, then no reason to even try. Not even for the sake of children if there are any. | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 1:37:47 PM | I did that once a year and a half ago, and we broke up the first weekend of December past. The matter is not of issues but of who you two are. I went back and we worked on all the issues but no matter how hard you try if it is a part of your nature the issues will return, subtle at first, but nevertheless return, and the relationship degrades faster than the first time.
The issue is really being honest to yourself and your partner. All romantisism aside, can you see youself happy for the rest of your life with this person? And you can't count on the person to change to make it work. You can't even count on yourself to do that!
Barring circumstances out of worldy control it is better to move on, and take the lesson with you! | |
|
uk28
|
Joined: 8/9/2006
Msg: 10 | |
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 2:19:50 PM |
If there is still a shred of love left and they can communicate and compromise on whatever the issues were. then the relationship is worth it
I agree..but I have to admit I'm cynical..only because people 99% of the time - people do not return to ex's for this reason.
They break up. Not too long after that..they get frustrated with being single. Then it's euphoric recall..ie: it wasn't that bad..we had some great times!
If you want to give it another shot go for it. It sounds to me as though you've already thrown in the towel on Round 2... | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 2:32:47 PM | | Im a firm believer that everyone deserves a second chance but only to a certain extent. It all depends on the circumstances of the breakup, what happened? how long did it last? was it good? was it bad? are the issues resolved out? etc..etc.. but those are the key things. But if the person was a complete jackass or a **** and depending on what they did to you to end it, yeah, not worth it, so it all comes down to how the relationship ended in the first place. | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 2:39:56 PM | | why'd you break up in the first place? that should be the deciding factor | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 2:50:19 PM | Oh yeah!
I go back to the Ex every year.
My favourite is the ferris wheel. | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 3:03:19 PM | | Ex's are Ex's for a reason...the same conflict will reoccur and you will realize why you broke up in the first place. | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 3:08:42 PM | Depends.
My ex and I broke up and then reunited 5 times over thepast 7 years. We finally moved in together and she moved out 5 months later. Too many issues never got resolved. We loved each other, but with a blended family and differing work schedules, and living in a small house, it was just too difficult. We were both very sad it didn't work, but we gave it a try. | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 3:25:04 PM | RUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN! I got back together with mu x about a year ago and I thought he would have grown up even just a smigeon, he had some pretty big life altering things happen..so I figure he must have changed! WRONG, and now I am having a HELL of a time getting out of it! DAMN IT!
On a more positive not I suppose it could work just never seen it happen thats all. good luck though! | |
|
kym02
|
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 17 | |
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 3:26:50 PM | | some people split up they try to meet new people but never find that special person, and others do but they look back to what they had before and think maybe things wernt so bad after all. because its easier to go back to what was comfortable, but like others have said on here if you dont resolve the issues that were there in the first place then it wont work out. but at least if you have tried things with the ex the second time round and it dosnt work then its probaly never going to work, so you wont spend the next few years thinking what if. then when your ready to find a new relationship that what if isnt niggling in the back of your mind and your not looking back, just forward so maybe its not a bad thing. you just kick your self for giving the jerk a second chance. i know i did | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 3:40:28 PM | | More and more I can understand why people do go back. It's familiar territory, whether bad or good, that's enough to send some people back. And judging from what's out there to date or get involved with these days, can't say I blame them. | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 6:00:04 PM | I had been married a total of 6 years, and me and my ex split up, and all that was needed
was for the divorce papers to get finalized.
But then after 7 months, she appoached me, expressing a desire to try again.
I said, O what the heck, we lasted another 13 years, and then we really did make the
divorce final! I know, hindsight is 20/20 but I wish I would have been strong enough
to have ended it at the six year mark.
So no, no second chances, unless, like other have said, the issues that contributed to
the divorce, get resolved rock solid! | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 6:19:04 PM | I knew a separated man that went back to his ex. She had an affair with his sister's husband. Go figure he still went back, even though she slept with his sister's husband over and over again. He said, get this, owed her.
Who knows why people go back to their ex's. Isn't between them and for them to figure it out.
For me no I wouldn't go back, when I am done I am done, I wouldn't leave otherwise. | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 6:38:33 PM |
going back to an ex even though you doubt it will be any better this time around?
after alot of soul searching and heartache... I am able to answer your question.
I love myself enough not to make myself eat chit.
I mean if he left, or I left or we left eachother it was because things were not well, right? and if nothing has changed and I doubt that it will be better this time around, then why the hell do it???
loneliness? get a dog...
horniness? get a sex toy...
it's what you know? you will forget and you will know new things...
regret? will eating more chit make you feel less regretful...
things can only work when both people involved work VERY VERY hard to make it work and are willing to change the things that separated them in the first place. it takes time, work, patience and above all.....love.
that's it. took me a whole year to figure that out. | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 6:39:04 PM | I have friends that I actually thought were in their first marriage but I later learned it was the second marriage to each other. They married very young and filed for divorce at least a half dozen times, with a cousin handling the case each time. The last time they changed their minds he didn't withdraw the paperwork so when they came to him again, they were divorced at lightening speed.
They spent a couple of years apart, grew up a bit, saw what else was out there, and realized what they had had with each other. They remarried and were going on at least 30 years the last time I talked to them.
If my ex had sought counseling when we split, I don't know if we would have gotten back together but I would have been willing to go to counseling with him, just wouldn't do it or let him come home before he had straightened out his issues.
I think it can work but as a previous poster mentioned, if the problems that led to the split haven't been or are not dealt with, a reconciliation will never work. | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 7:56:02 PM | FUK that, never have never will. Why resort to THAT? LOL. You don't know where an "ex" has been. YUK! | |
|
RJB888
|
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 24 | |
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 11:00:42 PM | OP:
Yeah I've tried that. Had a 12 year relationship that ended. We tried to work it out, but in the end.....well it's just the end. Have to move on and try to find happiness in life. | |
|
| Going back to the Ex!!!!
Posted: 1/9/2007 11:15:09 PM | | I would go back to an ex sadly because I think it's human nature that we want to think we can help them or change them, save their soul. I don't think once you give your heart to someone that you ever stop loving them but unfortunately you can only try your best to make them see why things didn't work out. In my case I fell for her before she fell for me and you only end up resenting that they led you on that far in the first place when they don't have the same feelings whether because of fear of being hurt. If you go into a relationship afraid to be hurt you just both end up getting hurt | |
|
Home
login 
