| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/12/2007 5:51:33 PM | | Met this guy thru plentyoffish,chatted for a couple of weeks via email and hit it off extremely well. we met up and again despite both being nervous, hit it off and both liked what we saw. I did not sleep with him right away all though we did sleep in same bed on the first date. He said he thought i was a perfect babe and i couldnt beleive i had finally met what seemed to be a genuine adult male who was honest. But i noticed how self conscious he was which made me nervous. anyway have to say he was the worst french kisser i had ever struck in my life. sorry guys but thought that by 41 he would have picked up some tips. anyway i thought i could work on that over time, when we did have sex he showed some potential but foreplay was approx 5mins b4 main event and then all over in 5mins. ok i thought not had sex for awhile he said so understandable. next time complete disaster, tried to give him some guidance as to what i liked, (gently and as tactfully and kindly as i could) but he just went back to what he was doing and then again 5 minutes foreplay,no kissing,and he couldnt maintain erection and he just said "must be trying 2hard". I was prepared to still continue with relationship and thought sex could improve in time with communication. he just backed off completely, stopped answering my texts, and then eventually said he no want serious relationship after all. Now i cant help feeling it my fault even tho frends say it him with problem, i was prepared to try to work things out, good sex can take time to develop. so I would appreciate any feedback please. | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/12/2007 5:59:21 PM | | From what I can infer from your post, the guy was too self conscious and must have totally embarassed himself after the sex thing. He got out because he didn't want to make a fool of himself anymore. Alas, he would have done better if he was willing to learn. Which ofcourse means that none of it was your fault. Well, may be. Did you taunt him for being a lousy love maker? | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/12/2007 6:03:26 PM | | It sounds like he ended it because he started to catch on that he couldn't exactly get the job done and that was a little hard on his ego. If you were tactfull and nice about giving guidence then it wasn't your fault or really his either, it just didn't click soon enough. Don't feel bad, it wasn't and isn't your problem at all. | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/12/2007 6:04:25 PM | | It sounds like he ended it because he started to catch on that he couldn't exactly get the job done and that was a little hard on his ego. If you were tactfull and nice about giving guidence then it wasn't your fault or really his either, it just didn't click soon enough. Don't feel bad, it wasn't and isn't your problem at all. | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/12/2007 6:09:30 PM |
Could be that he's really shy and embarassed about what happened and maybe he isn't all that experienced.
I'm sure this thread will help his self esteem.....since he is on here.... | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/12/2007 6:10:40 PM | i would tend to agree with shyguy...
well if youre a half full glass type of person anyway....
otherwise id say hes just a selfish type of lover...which clearly you are not...while its too bad things didnt work out.. if he was half the man he pretended to be well i think he would have known that he had a good thing...
but he walked...so i wouldnt loose too much sleep over that one... | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/12/2007 6:37:11 PM | [I'm sure this thread will help his self esteem.....since he is on here.... ]
And I bet he's real happy that you've pointed that out.
If you are going to date people from POF then you should know that if it doesn't work out that you may be discussed here. | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/12/2007 7:51:58 PM | In my experience and talking to other people, usually the first sexual contact is with the KISS. If the Kiss was already lousy, then the chemistry was off. I mean, you can meet someone with intense chemistry and you know already, before off hand that the kiss is going to be so intense and addictive.
But then again, sometimes, you can have chemistry with someone and the first time you have sex is always lacklustre...and there is a logical reason for this : You are just learning each other's bodies. But in your case, you did try to make it work, by being sensual and asking him what he wants and so forth...but it still wasn't working.
There's your answer : the sex is bad and well, you shouldn't be too upset if he wanted to move on. It's not your fault...the chemistry just wasn't right. | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/12/2007 8:18:18 PM | Oh honey, it is so NOT your fault - you let that guilt stuff go right now!
My ex was a TERRIBLE kisser!
He kissed like a kid in junior high...hard lips and a lot of tongue thrusting. bleccchhh
But he seemed like a nice guy and because I had always been complimented on my kissing felt (like you) that there was some potential and that I could work with him.
Well it took me about a year to get him up to par on the kissing.
The other stuff...well...
anyway, after we were married it didn't take him long to revert back to his original style.
So, really, consider yourself lucky. How could this possibly be your fault that HE lacks experience and finesse? If anyone truly wants to be a good lover they can be. It really doesn't take that much effort. And from your description he wasn't even half-trying to please.
Yes - I agree with you that sex can get better and better. But if it isn't good to start out, it really isn't going to get better. Trust me. I spent a LOT of years believing as you do.
Maybe there is a lesson here for you...
I hope I learned mine.
Star | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/12/2007 8:58:20 PM | | I feel for ya sistah. Chalk this up to experience. At least your date didn't come in his pants before you got to see it...lol (read my post it will make u feel better). | |
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MISS13
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Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 13 | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/13/2007 10:53:10 AM | He was so emabarassed and afraid that it would happen again. I don't think it was your fault but will have to say that if it happened to me I probably wouldn't be back either.
From what you said about forplay he wasn't much into kissing, touching or, oral so he may not have thought there was anything else he could do. | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/13/2007 10:59:52 AM | OP:
Who cares?
The guy sucks in the sack. You pointed it out. He effectively said, "So?".
You didn't suck, he did. Let it go. Perhaps next time you will hook a guy that is decent to you, and has some control over his Johnson.
Hope that helps. | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/15/2007 8:11:12 AM | | excuse me but why be so ****y? and fyi i did talk to my frends, but wanted feedback from a guys perspective. and no i did not try to humilate or put him down in any way regarding what happened between us. | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/15/2007 8:17:16 AM | | excuse me but why be so ****y? and fyi i did talk to my frends, but wanted feedback from a guys perspective. and no i did not try to humilate or put him down in any way regarding what happened between us.just read your next post, apologies extended, maybe i being too sensitive about this. | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/15/2007 9:12:22 AM |
[I'm sure this thread will help his self esteem.....since he is on here.... ]
And I bet he's real happy that you've pointed that out.
If you are going to date people from POF then you should know that if it doesn't work out that you may be discussed here.
classic | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/19/2007 11:36:25 AM |  Thanx 2u and others for feedback, it has helped. do feel i handled things the right way, over it now. guess we just not click enuf for him to want to try to improve things. oh well never mind. life goes on. | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/19/2007 11:43:27 AM | | i over it now, and your feedback much appreciated. pity i not 10years younger and u lived in new zealand. ever thought about getting cloned,lol. the world need more men like u:yay | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/20/2007 9:36:37 PM | I think he ended it because he was lousy at sex, and couldn't take constructive critiscism.
That being said, sex is always the best between 2 people that are comfortable. Nerves can really effect what ends up happening, so I don't expect too much at first, but if he can't handle a gentle nudge in the right direction, you're lucky it's all over. | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/20/2007 9:53:17 PM | He was just more a d!ck than his d!ck was to treat you that way.
If not for bad lovers you'd have nothing to compare and appreciate when you get a good one. | |
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| Did he end it because the sex was lousy?
Posted: 1/21/2007 1:30:13 AM | | no such thing as bad sex for a man. That's a stupid reason to dump anyone. If you care about someone you can learn how to please the other. | |
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