| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/12/2007 10:24:40 PM | Over the past year or so I've gained some weight, because of high cortisol secretion (cortisol levels go up under stress, and I was caregiving an elderly parent full-time for a while). I am quite open about this on my profile, yet feel as if people don't believe it even when explicitly told, because they clearly expect to meet a slim person and become disappointed in the end.
It is hard to know what else to do in this case, besides being open and honest; pretend you had a platonic female friend in this situation, what would you tell her -- try to date now, or look for friends only and date after the extra weight has come off?
Inquiring minds want to know. :) | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/12/2007 10:39:32 PM | If a guy is into you and wants to date you as is, then cool. Let him know about your goal and perhaps the two of you can do it together.
Some people are into specific body types, don't let it beat you up. And plus, who doesn't like someone who is open and honest? I do!
As for what I would tell her? Is that even possible for a guy to do? Tell a girl something? lmao. If she wants to date and work on it, then go for it. A guy that sees a woman making an honest effort will be behind her 100%.
So I hope you go for it | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/12/2007 11:36:07 PM | Body type is a preference...
That being said, the vast majority of guys like thin and or toned bodies.
There are also guys who prefer more 'rubenesque' figures.
If you want to expand your options, go to the gym (which will relieve some of the stress as well).
If you are comfortable with your weight, understand that some guys - may not be. | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 12:42:09 AM |
If you are comfortable with your weight, understand that some guys - may not be.
I understand that. But it's a little frustrating when my height and weight are explicitly spelled out in my profile and guys ignore that; while I'm sure there are people who mislead people into thinking they are thinner, I'm not one of them.
Oh, well... I've taken down the head shot so hopefully my profile won't be discounted so much. And thanks. | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 1:16:22 AM | More important than weight or body-type,
is that you're comfortable being you, and
being able to show confidence.
When the right guy for you comes along,
he will love you for who you are. | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 1:22:13 AM | | Have you considered looking for a like-minded guy with similar goals. You could end up getting yourself an accountability partner that could help you get fit quick and at the same time, you could be sculpting your very own Bronze God. | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 2:18:58 AM | Why not do both at the same time?
Also, it's not how much you weigh, it's how much you look like you weigh. I hesitate to say that, because I doubt a woman is ever going to be happy with her body. But, it's the eye of the beholder(s) and not the scale that's important.
I know I weigh more than I look. Where is it? I don't know! But apparently I'm smuggling 20-40 extra pounds somewhere. | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 3:48:49 AM | Good Lord lady
<div class="quote">5' and 124 lbs.
I'd say you'd be hard pressed to find a guy who's gonna care about your weight with those numbers.
If it's a problem tell him you'll work it off with sexercise. | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 7:10:55 AM | No need to wait. If you are upfront on this (i.e. telling them that you're NOT a barbie doll), there's no point beating yourself up, it's on him if he's disappointed. Remember, you're just dating for now, and not exclusively, either. You never know, you may miss out on something if you aren't on the lookout... | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 7:48:52 AM | | first of all put some new pic's up of what you look like now, that will screen out all the people that are not interested as for the pre warning of your body why do it, you should judt be your self and not feel the need to give any excuse to being over weight, if you your self feel uncomfortable about the excess weight then join a gym lose the weight then post again new pic's up! | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 7:51:31 AM | A body that is mostly lean tissue and less fat looks more attractive, healtheir and fit than a body of the same weight that is mostly fat and less lean tissue.
Interesting how many times during a divorce or breakup, people naturally lose weight from the anxiety. It's like nature's way of getting you back in shape to re-enter the mating game. | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 8:03:48 AM | I would never suggest that a female friend loose weight FOR a man. If you're
not comfortable with your weight, loose it for you. (although at 124 I'd think
that there must not be all that much to loose) Otherwise you're likely to gain
it back when IN a relationship. If a guy has a problem with that weight before
dating you, he probably won't like it after. | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 10:42:48 AM | | contrary to what many women think, some men enjoy a full figured or curvacious woman. the women that i think is the most beautiful woman in the world has a few extra pounds. this is a turn on to me. i think a woman should be soft...not hard. to answer the question, i guess it depends what you are looking for in a man. if the guy really likes you, the extra pounds won't matter. | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 11:05:14 AM | Yes.
By all means slim down, so you can fit back into that size 2 before you start dating.
ARE YOU INSANE????
With your height and weight you gotta be in a size 7 or 8 depending. Most "A Few Extra" girls on here are in the size 14-24 range. Go ahead. Date your heart out. If you are already commited to losing a couple, like maybe 10 lbs. just for you to get back to where you were, then fine. Do it for you. Any guy that actually thinks you NEED to be back in a size 2 or thereabouts are just plain not worth having. Seriously. | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 16 | |
| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 1:40:18 PM | OP: My weight is constantly going up and down. I've never had problems meeting men/dating...but I think that has more to do with having an outgoing personality and not letting my weight "bring me down". And, to say you are only going to date after you've lost weight---that is definitely not a good idea! Get out there and show people how great u are, no matter what size your body is!! I was on medication that made my weight sky rocket!! But, I didn't worry too much about it 'cuz I still remained the same person on the inside. I feel for ya OP, but...dont let this stop you from meeting ppl. | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 4:02:51 PM | | If you're into each other then the weight is not really an issue except for health reasons.....I went on a date with someone from this site and the woman flipped cause she sat I was too heavy for her.....I showed her a 3 year old picture of me......when I was skinny......in uniform......before I went undercover and had to fit the part.......then her opinion changed but I couldn't get my head around someone so object orientated and body concious. I moved on and still haven't found someone but still looking.Weight and over-weight is relative. | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/13/2007 4:09:26 PM | because of high cortisol secretion (cortisol levels go up under stress
don't cause more stress on yourself by worrying about it...about 6 months ago i decided to just be myself and be happy with that and what do you know...I have lost 20 lbs now...no diet..just being happy  | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/14/2007 4:03:11 PM | I personally am continuing with my weight loss crusade. Heck for the first time in my life, someone actually accepted me for what I was!!
I also want my body and metabolism to work more efficiently.
In the end, no matter who you date or dont end up with , etc, YOU are the ultimate beneficiary of any weight loss. | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/14/2007 4:19:13 PM | | My ex is happily engaged to someone else...... I am close friends with her. To tell the truth, we both, if asked, would say we still love each other. I do still find a perverted pleasure with her new fiance...... He's NOT attractive! More money? yeah, but...... I was 190 lbs when I was with her, now I'm less than 170. If he ever becomes "broke"..... he's just going to be another log on the fire... I'll still be funny and intelligent....... | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/14/2007 5:17:02 PM | I say start as friends (since the best relationships start as friends anyways) and see where things go from there. If you meet a guy who is interested in you as a person, they wont care what weight you are at.
I met a guy on here after being single for many years (because of my weight issues - mostly) and he looked past the weight to see what a great person I am. We have been together for almost 5 months now and he loves me to death. He doesn't even notice the weight and either do I anymore.
If you want to take the weight off -- good for you. But DON'T do it for the guy. If he doesn't fall in love with you for the person you are, then he is not worth it to begin with.
Good luck
Single_lady | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/14/2007 5:36:12 PM |
If you are comfortable with your weight, understand that some guys - may not be.
*********
I understand that. But it's a little frustrating when my height and weight are explicitly spelled out in my profile and guys ignore that; while I'm sure there are people who mislead people into thinking they are thinner, I'm not one of them.
Oh, well... I've taken down the head shot so hopefully my profile won't be discounted so much. And thanks.
By the by - when I posted the above comment, I didn't mean YOU specifically, I just meant females who are considered overweight. I don't think I was focused on your picture as much as answering your question. From what I remeber of your picture - i doubt you'd be 'discounted.'
Men are visual creatures. So putting a picture up will definitely increase your responses irregardless. | |
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| Lose the extra weight before trying to date?
Posted: 1/14/2007 6:44:35 PM | You can try to date now, some guys like chubby women.
If you wait until you lose some, you will have more guys to choose from.
Not politically correct, but true.
Wait, 124 lbs? Ok, that is not chubby. Maybe you have problems with self image. | |
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