| Ode to a Porcelain Bowl
Posted: 1/14/2007 9:58:10 AM | The bell tower tolled a midnight stroke,
Eyes opened as peals sang through the snow—
Pressure-busting bladder, time to go,
As yanked from the pleasant dream, I awoke.
Did my business with my eyes still clamped closed,
Pushed the handle, but there was no flow—
A clink, gargle, a flood of H2O,
A gush over-rimmed the porcelain bowl.
Fled the wash to pen a note—“toilet’s broke,”
Then watched in horror as it overflowed,
There could only be one way left to go—
I grabbed the plunger and went for broke!
Despite my best intentions, nothing
I did could stem that damn overflushing.
I prayed to Moses, I prayed for a drought;
Any old plague to break the flood would do—
Then the waves washed into the living room;
To any deity listening, I raised a shout,
“Please end this nightmare, God just let me out!”
I raced the flood to the computer room,
Hit the breaker not a moment too soon;
Someone asked what the noise was all about…
Eddie screamed while the bowl kept flooding out
The door, a growing stream beneath the moon,
As in my head I saw the costs balloon,
Head low, I sloshed to the corner to pout.
The tower rang into the night so cold,
Dreams were flushed beneath the porcelain bowl | |
|
| Ode to a Porcelain Bowl
Posted: 1/15/2007 2:04:11 PM | didja try shutting off the water valve?
bless this bowl of porcelain
that flushes out what we can't hold in
the gleaming white,so bold
holding water oh so cold
it is quite a reserviuor
the dog may drink
hidden behind the door
the whole room may stink
but we cannot igore it's humble call
alone and bolted to the floor
we can't be witout it at all
hidden behind the door
to be without it would be numbing
it takes a lot of flack
thank godfor indoor plumbing
don't forget the plumbers cr**k | |
|
| Ode to a Porcelain Bowl
Posted: 5/21/2007 11:13:48 AM | In abject humility,
I kneel down before thee.
With churning gut
And spinning head,
This is where my sins have lead.
To this Porcelain God I cleave
As I begin to purge and heave
No one to hold back my hair
The dog looks at me
and in disgust, says he,
"You know I drink from there!"
 | |
|
|
Home
login 