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| Carless in Seattle, er, Vancouver
Posted: 1/14/2007 2:28:39 PM | Hi everyone, it looks like there are some really smart and helpful people here so I hope someone will give me some advice.
I am a graduate student living in Vancouver while I go to school. I live two minutes from my classrooms, and like most students my cashflow is limited. Therefore, I don't feel that owning a car here would be either necessary or financially responsible.
It does raise questions for dating, though. So my first question is, what is the etiquette when it comes to dating using buses - is it better to meet at someone's house/appartment and then go together to wherever the date will be, or meet there? Or does it matter? More importantly, what about after the date? Will she expect (or want) me to take the bus to her stop, then get back on the bus and go home? Saying goodbye at the bus stop seems very unromantic given that it's so public.
And second, will women even date a guy who doesn't have a car? It seems that men are supposed to arrange things for the date and to be self-reliant; will this be a turn-off, especially if she does have a car?
Thanks in advance. | |
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| Carless in Seattle, er, Vancouver
Posted: 1/14/2007 2:38:10 PM | Chances are the women you might be dating are also students and taking the bus. You're working towards a goal and your future. University is not easy and anyone who faults you for not having a car at this time in your life should be kicked to the curb.
In terms of bus etiquette, the nice thing to do is offer to ride home with her (unless she lives 30+Kms away) but at the very least go with her to her bustop and see she gets on the bus safely. You sound like a sensitive chap. Good on you. 
WD | |
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| Carless in Seattle, er, Vancouver
Posted: 1/14/2007 2:56:45 PM | OP "And second, will women even date a guy who doesn't have a car? "
I think the average woman would find it off-putting, if you did not first prepare her for this eventuality instead of 'springing it' on her.
Translation: introduce the topic gradually, and then sell the advantages, such as
- more date money for her meal, vs you two brown bagging it with your leftovers.
- not having to worry about fending you off (unless you like getting frisky on buses)
- heh, maybe she'll even buy that you're an environmentalist
OP "Saying goodbye at the bus stop seems very unromantic given that it's so public."
Whyever would you greet/say goodbye to your date at your bus stop? A gentleman picks a young lady up and escorts her back, from and to her home. | |
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| Carless in Seattle, er, Vancouver
Posted: 1/14/2007 4:50:30 PM | You are probably best off meeting her wherever the date is suppose to take place. That way you aren't put in the ackward position of dealing with transportation issues. She also isn't put a position where she feels she has to drive you if she drives. Meeting at the location takes quite a bit of stress off when using public transportation. You also have the option of sharing a taxi ride home afterwards if you can financially swing it (especially in bad weather).
Just because you are a student using public transporation doesn't mean you can't "date" it just requires a bit more forethought in making it more comfortable for the other person. | |
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| Carless in Seattle, er, Vancouver
Posted: 1/14/2007 8:39:25 PM | Do you want to date someone who will dump you if you don't have a car? It sounds like that wouldn't gel with your values.
I sympathize. I hope to never own a car. But I realize that my wife will probably want one. You can always get a "family car" if things become serious and she insists on rolling, rolling, rolling. She will understand if she loves you. | |
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