| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 3:36:15 PM | How would you feel about this situation?
You are dating someone for say about six months, everthing is going very well and you believe this will be the person will be the one who you will marry. He lives in a modest house, drives modest vehicles, and makes you believe up to that point that he has a modest job with a modest income. One day he brings to your attention that he has something to tell you that he has not been totally honest with. Turns out, he does not work, but instead is in the top 100 of the wealthyest people in america. He didn't want to lie, but was afraid of finding someone that was only out for his money. | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 3:45:14 PM | | I could understand his situation. Can you imagine how hard it would be for him to find a woman who was true to him if everyone knew how rich he was? Think about the situation if it was you that was that wealthy. If everyone knew you were that wealthy you would have every guy out there trying to be with you. | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 3:45:59 PM | Oh my thats a toughy I hate liars to the core but damn he has a point If I had money like that I would prob do the same thing he did.
Unlucky for me I will never have that prob and can be truthfull about all the money I dont have.
I say give it a chance besides I dont think i could pick a better thing to get lied to about.
 peace | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 3:46:21 PM | not that big of a deal really...it's the person u love not the pretense they presented....
lie's are not all black and white....there are grey area's... | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 3:47:18 PM | | What he did is quite noble...real, genuine affluent people never display their riches in such vulgar manner. I never understood as to why some men think it`s flattering to show off their money. | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 3:51:10 PM | OP " in the top 100 of the wealthyest people in america. "
Run, don't walk, away from this one.
a) he's not the one you fell in love with at all (duh!)
b) he's assuming there's no woman of character out there that can see past his money (kinda degrading to your gender, when you think about it)
c) if he's deceived you once, you can reasonably assume he's more than capable of doing it two or more times (clearly, deceit is part of his nature). I'm thinking, of many possible scenarios, he's not even be really rich but likes to say he is to get a rise out of the naive. Or, being rich, has 'twisted' him.
His real interest may be something you never want to find out about.
One last thought: if you like to be 'kept', it might be a good match. | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 3:53:59 PM | | He is a great guy, just something that was very hard to swallow. It's kinda like now trying to find out who he really is. He hasn't lied about anything else that I know of, just what he had to to protect finding out about his money. He has houses in othere countries, private planes, but noone would ever know. | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 3:59:03 PM | I don't see a problem with what he did.
Like it was mentioned earlier, lies are grey areas, the motivator behind them is what matters.
Geez, this would be most gals dream come true, what gives? | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:00:58 PM | | sorry DonINVictoria i have to disagree with you here...i think this man is simply protecting himself from goldiggers. he was the one that told her he has the money once her intentions were known. it's not as if he was hiding it and she found out, he did tell her when he was comfortable. he has no obligation to disclose his financial situation to her at all, he lives modestly because he chooses to. does anybody display their bank records to people they are dating. i say he is a man of character for telling her at all. | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:04:10 PM |
he has no obligation to disclose his financial situation to her at all, he lives modestly because he chooses to. does anybody display their bank records to people they are dating. i say he is a man of character for telling her at all.
Very good point.
When you are getting to know someone, it does take time for things of this nature to be discussed, if they ever even do. And like you said, why is he even obligated? | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:04:49 PM | he's assuming there's no woman of character out there that can see past his money (kinda degrading to your gender, when you think about it)
Spoken as a true feminist...
If you think about it, this is quite the white lie. The guy wanted a woman to fall in love
with him for who he his and now that he as told you it could be considered as an honor. It
means that you are now at a point in the relationship where he trusts you enough to let
you know...
People, in general, are truly shallow when it comes to money and such things. You just have to have somebody die in the family to see how many filthy fights break out over the inheritance to see how really decent people react when it comes to money...
Where does this risks to endanger your relationship would be the true question here. Will anything change besides you guys being able to afford more luxuries? | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:06:55 PM | You are dating someone for say about six months, everthing is going very well and you believe this will be the person will be the one who you will marry. He lives in a modest house, drives modest vehicles, and makes you believe up to that point that he has a modest job with a modest income. One day he brings to your attention that he has something to tell you that he has not been totally honest with. Turns out, he does not work, but instead is in the top 100 of the wealthyest people in america. He didn't want to lie, but was afraid of finding someone that was only out for his money.
Hmmm, usually it's the other way around, guy's will come off as being wealthy to impress a girl only to find out months later that the man of their dreams is waiting on tables at Denny's. | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:07:49 PM | Tells you that this guy is very down to earth - he HAS the money - he wants the important stuff - emotion, connection and intimacy first. If he`s as wealthy as you say, well money really has no significant value for him - but for those who don`t have it, money is very prominent. He has to protect himself first to see if the woman wants him for him - goldiggers are everywhere these days.... boy has to be careful.
I can empathize with him. If he had lied about his age, martial status or intentional decieved you on something else - well that might make you think. But you`re in the relationship and not me - so I can`t say what would be a "deal breaking" issue (lie) for you.... | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:10:42 PM | I would definitely be lying if I say that I am not intrigged, and it would definitely be a plus ....who am I kidding here? Yes, I would understand why he does that, and if we were still together, I am sure he knows by then that I am not after his money. I really respect anyone who can manage their money well, and base on what you describe about him, I am sure he does.
See, if it were me who has all the money, I'd do the same thing. Cant trust people with my money!!! | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:15:10 PM | JMHO the man had no reason or obligation to disclose his financial standing. Sounds like a person who is tired of the gold diggers and wanted someone to make sure that they wanted to be with him and not his money.
Personally I applaud such a positive display of character. | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:16:05 PM | OP..right in your profile:
I don't like rich show off type guys. If your interested please drop me a line.
Do you blame him? I can't imagine what it would be like to try to find a true partner when money is involved in that way...it must be extremely difficult at best. Had he been honest from the get-go (which I also think is his business until he feels ready to tell you), you would've bypassed him if you live true to your word... | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:29:55 PM | | people say all the time that money isn't everything. But most people I know that have been divorced are because of money problems, lack of, or being able to deal with lack of. I have no problems in my life right now that money couldn't take care of. I am really questioning myself though, we have only been together for six months, I whole hearted believe he is the one, but what would I turn into with that type of wealth? Pray to god I would turn out like him | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:51:48 PM | | Let me put it this way.If I were to win the lottery tomorrow,I would do the same thing.You want a person to want you for you and nothing else.Although my idiot friends would probably blow my cover! | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:55:16 PM | I would imagine to make the top 100, that would take $1 billion or more these days. I would expect someone in that position to be able to have a VERY good explanation for how they got there.....meaning, if it's a young guy, to say that he's the son of the founder of Home Depot or something along the lines of that.
If it's true, I think he's probably got very good intentions. I tell you what, if I won the lottery and suddenly had a huge fortune and being single, I'd live my life that way too in fear of someone wanting to take advantage of me.
If he can't really explain it though, he might be lying to you to try to gain something? Keep in mind, it's IMPOSSIBLE to know you're in the top 100 and not know how you got there. | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 5:20:45 PM | I agree... if this guy shows any evidence that his claim is legit, I'd be happy as pie with this little lie. There's obvious reasons for it. I've made plans for this kind of future each time I bought a lottery ticket (I went through a phase and bought a dozen or so of them over a couple of years.) In all of my fantasies, I stashed it all away courtesy of Switzerland after investing the appropriate amount appropriately and hiring someone to do that right, and would only expose it to the one person that I would find who I could live forever with... if she didn't come, then I would never expose it.
But I'd probably be too greedy to live too modestly. I'd at least have some nice things. I wouldn't walk around like a billionaire or anything, but certainly self-sufficient. I wouldn't pretend to work unless I had a wife and kids on the side. (just kidding, geez.)
But then again... you can't really be RICH these days without a nine figure salary: for the first time ever, the 400 richest people in America make at least $1 billion | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 5:43:53 PM | This is a very smart man.
For him to tell you, it shows quite a strong level of trust.
But don't be upset when he asks you to sign a pre-nup. After all...you had NOTHING to do with his accumulation of wealth.
I also wouldn't consider this as untrusting or untruthful. That is someone protecting their assets from a potential bad apple. Single parents do it all the time with their kids...not allowing the person they're dating to meet the kids until they're sure he/she is the ONE.
Only his baby is his bankbook. No difference. | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 6:29:28 PM | i would feel fortunate  and would hope this volunteering of information has something to do with our future TOGETHER  | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 6:44:09 PM | I got news... People with that much money don't travel in circles that are beneath them. If you're worth millions, you'll spend your time with people that are also worth millions.
I find this all very hard to believe. Everyone knows someone worth millions... Some are married and some aren't but unless you're a former Miss USA, I can't believe that a guy with that much cash would try and hitch your wagon.
If I was worth millions, I certainly wouldn't be hangin out at Apllebees mackin on the waitress. That'd be stupid. And if I did happen to have that happen; and I did wind up with said waitress; I'd have an air tight pre nup, a numbered bank account in a tax haven, and a house someplace else with no extradition treaties with any country in North America.
But that's just me.
I'm sure it can happen. I'm just saying that it's highly unlikely. The one thing that all people have as part of the very fiber or their being is to "move up." The smart money says that every person here does not want to "marry down" as opposed to "marrying above your class."
Yeah, yeah... I know, I'll hear all the shite about me being materialistic, but it's quite the contrary. I believe that all people have an inherent need to move onward and upward and finding a partner with a similar or better education, income, and family fortune is what people similarly strive for. Can anyone imagine "settling" for less than you already have? It's ludicrous. There's no percentage.
Sometimes things like this happen. I just find this thread very suspect. | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 7:04:21 PM | | I actually went through a pretty similar situation, except my boyfriend was not nearly as wealthy. It was at about the same point in our relationship,about six months, that he confessed to me that he would inherit well over a million dollars. I understood his reasons and actually took it as a touching milestone with us: The moment he really knew he loved me and trusted my love the same! | |
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| Has money, but you wouldn't know it.
Posted: 1/18/2007 7:33:30 PM | Huge difference between a million or two and the top 100 in America. Hell, in assets alone I'm sure many people stand to inherit nearly a million dollars from their family.
One million isn't alot. In fact, it sure aint enough to retire on nowadays. Just sayin'. | |
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