| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 1/20/2007 5:29:42 AM | | Hi there, I am 41 years old and I dont understand just because a woman is big most guys turn away from them. Not all of us are nast and trashy.Myself I dress nice and I'm clean.I have a great personality and I'm a well loved person.But to find a guy that I kike is hard to do.I'm not going to settle for some old ugly man when I know I wont love him and I want to be attracted to him to.All the people I know say hang in there you will meet a man when you least expect it...well Im tired of waiting..come on guys give us a chance.Dont judge a book by its cover,read the pages first.And if your looking to just get laid then crawl up a chickens ass... | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 1/25/2007 5:20:04 AM | | personally i think there are MANY guy's who do, and i myself am one of them! i normally avoid the thin "annorexic looking" women as much as possible. i used to be a large person myself (over 290 pounds and @ a cumfy 184 now) and i've found that TYPICALLY the thin annorexic looking women are shallow, stuck up and cant turn away from mirrors (let alone hold up a conversation). myself (and MANY other guys) actually are interested in the person, not the looks of the person. growing up as the heaviest kid in the ENTIRE COUNTY i can rant and rave on this type of topic for hours (was never able to find a gf till i dropped below 200 pounds @ the age of 21).... but i'll stop for now | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 1/26/2007 8:04:21 PM |
Hi there, I am 41 years old and I dont understand just because a woman is big most guys turn away from them. Not all of us are nast and trashy.Myself I dress nice and I'm clean.I have a great personality and I'm a well loved person.But to find a guy that I kike is hard to do.I'm not going to settle for some old ugly man when I know I wont love him and I want to be attracted to him to.All the people I know say hang in there you will meet a man when you least expect it...well Im tired of waiting..come on guys give us a chance.Dont judge a book by its cover,read the pages first.And if your looking to just get laid then crawl up a chickens ass...
Ok, do you see the irony in your post? You're wanting to know why most guys turn away from BBWs, then a few sentences later, you're ranting about how you're not going to "settle for some old ugly man when I know I won't love him and I won't be attracted to him." Uh, hello!?!? Do you not see any contradiction at all here? If you're not attracted to "old, ugly men," what makes you think all men are going to be attracted to a big woman? Attraction has to go both ways. Some men like big women, some men like slender ones. Some of you women are ok with a guy who's "ugly," as long as he has other qualities like kindness, personality, humor, etc., while others won't even give a guy a second look unless he's real good looking, or has lots of money, etc.
Anyway, good luck in your search, I hope you find what you're looking for.
Tony | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 1/27/2007 8:31:36 AM | You know, I have found across the board it is not about my size or outward appearance. It is about the way I feel toward myself. If I am happy with me, I present that in my attitude and the way I carry myself. This draws people in to me. If I am feeling bad about myself, then I carry myself completely differently and no one comes close.
If you are confident, and hold yourself tall, looking the world in the eye, there is a whole wealth of men out there who will be attracted to you regardless of your size. You have to believe you have something to offer that person. Physical is just one element.
Michele  | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 2/19/2007 10:46:45 AM | | Hello, pretty picture btw. With the exception of High School (too many years ago to really remember), I've rarely dated anyone under a size 16. I have found the BBW's tend to have fewer hangups for the most part, and are comfortable with who they are. Otherwise someone's body size doesn't matter to me. Personality, and the ability to hold an intelligent conversation are the most important thing in a relationship to me. | |
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kmm56
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Joined: 1/24/2007
Msg: 7 | |
| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 2/27/2007 4:38:26 PM | Thank you so much Atlanta_hot_bbw!
Today I got so angry about men. Like the start of this thread, I too wanted to know why this is! I was prepared to write this angry post about boys that never grow up. I've emailed several "men" on POF, just a quick e-mail saying hi. Most of them never answered. Only one or two did. It made me feel like we were in grade school and "omg, the fat girl talked to me". I was only trying to be friendly, because I would like to make friends here too. Mostly I made a cute reference to their profile, something funny, you know?
It seems that most of the men are after the same thing they were after when they were 14. The pretty thin ones. Wow, I am 50 and I guess I thought we had gotten past all that crap.
Also, have you noticed that most BIG men put "a few extra pounds"? They never say they are fat or BBM.
Anyway, thanks for giving me another point of view. Now I just need help with my profile.
Karen | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/8/2007 8:35:35 AM | Well I think most men only want a BBW cause they think we are easy, of course that is just my opion. But I have been a larger woman my whole life, people think its easy to up and loose weight...........wrong! anyone who has ever been larger knows how hard it is. But anyhow, except for my ex most men who are interested are looking for sex, and if you do sleep with them you never hear from them again. I just dont understand either why it is that most to all men have to have a hot little sexy thing on thier arm, if they only knew that BBW know how to treat men alot better then most of the little hotties! Just becuase we dont look as good in a bikini doesnt mean we cant satisfy men. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/12/2007 5:05:14 PM | Gee its so funny to read some of these posts...
Women tend to think that its all about us men who want the skinny woman.
Try it when the guy is chubby or just plain ole fat....we cant get a date for nothing because all the women only want the skinny guys ...ever notice how many larger women are even with the skinny guys? Doesnt matter how we are on the inside or how high we hold our heads ...we still get shot down before a chance by shallow women of all sizes. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/12/2007 8:57:00 PM | | You got it Bishop. Larger women are worse than skinny women about not giving bigger guys a chance but then gripe because they think their discriminated against thats such a joke. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/13/2007 10:02:22 AM | why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Some men do like larger women. Some don't. Chalk it up to preference and move on.
Women tend to think that its all about us men who want the skinny woman.
Try it when the guy is chubby or just plain ole fat....we cant get a date for nothing because all the women only want the skinny guys ...ever notice how many larger women are even with the skinny guys? Doesnt matter how we are on the inside or how high we hold our heads ...we still get shot down before a chance by shallow women of all sizes.
To bishop, it always astounds me (I'm a bigger gal myself) when I hear a large woman say "I want an athletic guy, because fat men gross me out". Can you at that point chalk it up to preference? No. However you could if she simply said "well it just seems to be what I'm attracted to". Again, I'd never fault someone that's athletic saying to me "well I'm attracted to blonde haired blue eyed beach bunnies", I would fault them and be offended if they said to me "Fat people revolt me." There's a huge difference in the delivery and the sincerity.
Having said that I've been bigger my whole life and have only ever dated thin...athletic or guys with a "tiny tummy". Is it because I descriminate against larger guys? Nope, not at all, I've been attracted to a few. But it doesn't mean we have connected emotionally or in regards to our personalities, and the guys I've dated have approached me. No larger guy has ever approached me, if he had...who knows if we would have clicked. So don't just assume that because you see a big girl with a smaller guy on HER arm, that it's because she's two faced and shallow. As with males/females fat/thin if you aren't outgoing, people generally won't give you a second glance, regardless of what you look like.
Well I think most men only want a BBW cause they think we are easy, of course that is just my opion.
Meh I'm a bigger girl myself and I don't think that. My thin girlfriends get approached constantly for the same thing: Sex. It isn't just the "big girl syndrome", it happens to ladies of all shapes and sizes. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/13/2007 1:38:09 PM | Here we go case in point ....do i go with politically correctness here or blunt honesty in my eyes?
The corrrect response ....women in general want the atheltic men...its a proven point many times over inthe general numbers...
I am not trying to out or point fingers at an one person jsut in general from my experiences as a fat guy AND from reactions and what women say overall also.
Now be damned PC....Sweet Treat you yourself in the response directed to me said that you only have dated thin guys...and yet it always comes down to the outgoing stuff...well maybe gusy just get tired of rejection also and quit.
I think in my own regards i just dont go chasin after women in general and look for friends more than pickin up a potential date...that way they know me first hand and not my size. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/13/2007 5:35:51 PM | The corrrect response ....women in general want the atheltic men
Please point an actual statistic that states that.
I am not trying to out or point fingers at an one person just in general from my experiences as a fat guy AND from reactions and what women say overall also.
Ok in "Your Experience". Well guess what? In "my experience" most men are ***holes that are only looking for one thing: Sex. Guess what? That's JUST an experience and does NOT speak for the masses. You can't lump a whole group into one catagory simply because you've had a seperate experience. And if you do? Than I feel really sorry for you.
Sweet Treat you yourself in the response directed to me said that you only have dated thin guys
And if you cared to read further I also stated they were thin, athletic and some with tummies, having also been interested in larger guys. I also stated the ones I have dated has been because THEY approached me. I've never gone after a guy, EVER. If a guy wants to get to know me, than he should approach me. And many MANY women feel the same way, in my experience with women 
and yet it always comes down to the outgoing stuff...well maybe gusy just get tired of rejection also and quit.
Ok..but than who's fault is that? Who is the one letting society dictate their happiness? Who is the one that is letting everyone else decide their fate? YOU are. No one else. Thin, pretty girls and hot athletic guys get rejected to you know. Rejection isn't just a "fat persons disease".
I think in my own regards i just dont go chasin after women in general and look for friends more than pickin up a potential date...
And that's totally cool if that works for you. But you seriously gotta give women the benefit of the doubt sometime too you know. Not every woman looks at an athletic guy and thinks "damn..I want that", and not every woman looks at every bigger guy and says "damn I don't want that".
BTW, your 2nd picture in your profile is a nice pic of you, I'm not sure why physically you'd have a problem meeting women. Maybe you just need to change your attitude about women first, we aren't all gold digging shallow hussies you know. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:00:24 PM | | Like it or not he's right Sweet I've approached larger women and they'll turn you down faster than thin women any day. They tend to be even more shallow and self centered. It is a fact so get off the high horse stats mean squat and you know it. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:21:32 PM | Well you are right on the part that its not a scientific study ...
but im supposed to go and ask each and every woman ...nah cant or wont do that darlin.
Just am making a general observation within my means.
Ty for the compliment....you are a very attractive lady also.
I think its just that men and women are totally diff on lots of things and see things in diff views.
I dont want to get into a debating match at all on here.
Thats why i never said person A said this or that in the first place..
No need to take things on a personal level at all...we are al here for the most basic and desirable thing ...communication. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:21:53 PM | Like it or not he's right Sweet I've approached larger women and they'll turn you down faster than thin women any day. They tend to be even more shallow and self centered. It is a fact so get off the high horse stats mean squat and you know it.
Again honest, that's your opinion and your experience, and I think it's sad if anyone groups a bunch of people based on gender, race, religion, physical size, etc based solely upon their own experiences.
I'm not on a high horse by any means, I simply pointed out that it's not cool, or accurate to group everyone into one catagory because you've had an experience with certain people. If you decide to..that's fine, it's your choice to do so. But I really feel bad for you and anyone else as a fellow human being if you do. Between your profile calling the ladies out and saying "you play too much" and bishops profile saying "I'm short, I"m fat, I have bad habits..."etc no wonder women aren't falling at your feet. Regardless of your size, women don't generally like people who are negative, to themselves or to others.
Just am making a general observation within my means.
And general observations are fine, like I've said if I wanted to generalize, I'd say all men are assholes looking for sex and sex only..but guess where that gets me? No where. It would make me miserable, withdrawn, and taking on the "woe is me" mentality, to which I refuse to.
Ty for the compliment....you are a very attractive lady also.
I think its just that men and women are totally diff on lots of things and see things in diff views.
Thank you for the compliment. Women and men are different and do view things different, it's a given...but I see many women on the arms of bigger men, moreso than I see men on the arms of bigger women.
I dont want to get into a debating match at all on here.
Me either...that's why I'm outta here.
Goodluck to you all. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:36:35 PM | I think with all things that we each look for that special something. With some people they look for that outside wrapping. There is nothing worse than a man who is focused on having a size 5 or less. Eoesnt care taht she hates herself and the world. Some bbw can shoot you down quick and not be nice people. That is the nature. Uglyness comes in all wrappers so just because I am big does not mean that I am easy, smelly, or hatefull. People who take time to get to know the person are happier with themselves and want someone who complements them. Not someone who is a trophy catch. I dont base alot of influence on looks as much as can he make me laugh. Does him walking into the room with me make my heart race and my breath halt. Does he want to hold me and love me. Does his passion match mine. Does the goals we have match. Then I would not care about his looks as long as he is clean.
IMHO | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/13/2007 8:44:54 PM | | Bottom line is Sweet you act like its the guys with the problems its not. The women are as bad or most are worse. I put that on my profile tonight because I've had enough most women dont even bother to respond to a letter which their choice but not dont witchy about it, at my age I've seen the worse from women and continue to every day; especially those around my own age the younger women are actully more accepting normally but then we guys get called dirty old men if we date them. We can't win. Women like to play the woe is me card but dont like it when they are challenged or corrected. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/13/2007 9:44:55 PM |
why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Some men do. Only the worthwhile ones are the ones who're willing to consider the totality of a woman. Size matters, but not as much as some folks like to think. Quality, baby.
As for crawling anywhere, that's just funny!  | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/20/2007 4:26:44 AM | Wow...Some of the things said here are crazy. Ever thought that maybe the dependency factor or attitude has something to do with it? I am a big girl myself and I don't have a problem with finding men who want to date me, I find ones that can't hold a conversation. That's a big problem for me, if you can't hold a decent conversation I will not waste my time with you. My biggest problem keeping men is that I am very independent. Men apparently don't like the fact that I can change the oil in my truck or can change a flat tire or get out in the yard and work. I guess because I am so strong on my own and don't depend on them that it bothers them. It's not that I don't need them...it's just that I don't need them to do everything for me.
I thank my father for that because he raised me to be this way so that when the time was here that I didn't have someone that I could take care of myself. I had to learn how to work on a car before he would let me drive and he said this "I don't ever want you to be stranded somewhere because you can't fix a flat tire".
I hold my head high because this is who I am, the right one is out there somewhere and maybe I've already missed my ship because I was working in the yard...who knows. But what I do know is that I won't sit and gripe about not having someone, life is too short and although I'd love to share that with someone I'm not gonna let it get me down or turn me away from all men. I've made a lot of great friends but the "relationship" factor was just not there for us. I have found that they are NOT all the same even though you may think otherwise. There are some great men out there. Good luck in your search. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/27/2007 8:43:07 AM | | Hey lookin 4 myprince,the problem with guys is their egos,what else could it be.Don't get me wrong,there are guys out there that do like big women,your problem is finding that guy that do.I think that there are guys on this site that do like big women,but won't admit to it.But one thing,I hope you do find the right guy that'll make you very happy. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/27/2007 8:59:46 AM | Hey lookin 4 myprince,the problem with guys is their egos,what else could it be.
Oh a few of the following could be issues:
- Attitude
- Confidence (or lack thereof)
- Personality
- Sense of humour (or lack thereof)
- Seriousness (or lack thereof)
- No attraction (physically or otherwise)
- Smell (Not stereotyping at all, but I don't like a smelly person...do you?)
- Emotional issues
- Baggage
- Demands
- Bossy/Pushy/Princess like
You get my point, right?
I hate when fat people use their fat as an excuse and think that no one likes them simply because they are fat. And what's so wrong if a person passes you by because they aren't physically attracted to you? I'm sure everyone has done it, myself included. It's human nature. So what if someone doesn't like you for who you are, move onto the next person who WILL like you for all that you are. The following is a general statement not pertaining to any specific person: Maybe you lack in other areas and that's why people aren't interested? | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:24:35 AM | I have been attracted to all kinds of men in all shapes and sizes. For me, it is more about chemistry and not the looks. I have started out having a guy as a friend because we "clicked", but I might not be intimately attracted to him, but found myself becoming attracted as time went on and I got to know him. I truly believe lasting relationships are based more on true friendship than love. Love chages over time, but I think you have to truly LIKE the person you are with. My parents were best friends. They really liked and respected each other. They liked doing things together and were secure in their relationship. They also loved each other deeply, but that love changed and grew with time. Let's face it.. looks change. You need more than that to base a relationship on.
I have hesitated going out with really good looking men in the past simply because I lack confidence sometimes and wonder why they are asking me out. I have been the butt of too many jokes on the fat girl to always trust that a guy who is "hot" is actually interested in me. I have gotten better over time as I have learned to love myself as I am, but every now and then, that insecurity comes to the surface. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 3/31/2007 11:30:25 PM | | I have always been a bigger woman. I can honestly say that I feel more comfortable with a larger man. In my experience, and I stress, this is just my experience, I have found that smaller men seem to think that if they take me to dinner, this constitutes an open invatation to sex. I try to look at a person from the inside out because a person can always change the outer appearance, but the inner beauty almost always stays the same. | |
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| why dont men want a bbw who is a damn good woman?
Posted: 4/2/2007 4:28:33 PM |
With some people they look for that outside wrapping. There is nothing worse than a man who is focused on having a size 5 or less. Eoesnt care taht she hates herself and the world.
While I can totally sympathize with you that not being desired by those who you like completely sucks - it doesn't make their preference intrinsically wrong. Are they missing out by having such a narrow focus? Perhaps. But that's their problem, not yours. And just like its possible to find a sunny and pleasant bbw, the same disposition can be found in girl with runway looks.
Personalities vary as much as body types, and while stereotypes are often rooted in a generalized truth, they can't account for anyone individual, and to assume that all skinny girls hate themselves is just as ignorant as assuming that all BBWs are smelly and ****y.
People who take time to get to know the person are happier with themselves and want someone who complements them.
Awesome. Use that. The thing is, we all have attributes that some people will see as flaws - sometimes its an automatic dealbreaker, sometimes its not. If it is, let it go. His preference is not your problem.
Personally, I like petite girls. Preference. They're the ones that will automatically catch my eye - that's the honest truth. They're the ones, that, all other things being equal, I'll approach first. Your job when you want to attract someone's attention is to unlevel that playing field - give him a reason to pay attention to you.
Be bubbly. Tease. Evoke interests. Smile. Definitely, smile. Because if I don't know you find me interesting, why am I going to talk to you first unless I'm already enamored?
Oh. And even if you don't agree with me about a person's right to have a preference, think about this - which is more productive: complaining about how you wish men would act, or altering your behaviour to evoke the reactions you want from men? | |
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