| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/22/2007 2:01:06 AM | I'm curious, how do Wiccans on this site approch dating? Do you tell your prospective partner right up front what you believe? I'm an a realationship with a non-Wiccan, he accepts me and my beliefs. How has other's expierences been with dating a non-Wiccan?
Bright Blessings | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:37:28 AM | Not wiccan, but pagan none the less. One of the first topics brought up by me when I first met the one I fell in love with was my religion. She is Athiest, however accepts, no, encourages me in the path I currently follow, and I her chosen path.
Hope that made sence lol.
TK | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/22/2007 5:54:55 AM | I am not Wiccan, but I definitely have "alternative" beliefs..... which include some Wiccan components in them. I do not hide my beliefs, nor do I flaunt them.... but I do make sure that anyone I date has an open mind. I once dated a man who truly thought he could accept my beliefs, but a few months down the road, found he could not. We are still friends, but we both realize that discussing beliefs is "off limits" for us.... we will never agree, so we agree to disagree. I used to think that I could be in a long term relationship with someone who was not of similar beliefs, but at least accepted mine..... I don't think so anymore.
My beliefs are very deep within me, and are very much a part of who I am and how I live my life.... and my partner has to share that with me, considering it is such a huge part of ME. I am fortunate to have found that in my partner, and it has been a large part of why it is working for us.
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/22/2007 7:29:13 AM | If the subject of religion comes up...you discuss it openly and w/o prejudice.
beliefs whether in an ethereal being, science, or simply the belief in nothing can be quite strong for people...so its important to respect all beliefs, and understand that our own is not the only way of life. | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/22/2007 9:55:18 AM | Not wiccan myself, but pagan.
It's a topic, yes, and should be brought up early in the relationship.
But generally I would be dating someone fairly open minded and tolerant of my own spiritual path. So I don't usually go for a born-again christian, orthodox christian/jew/muslim.
I have had an agnostic boyfriend in the past and he was quite tolerant. He felt comfortable in his own approach to spirituality, and encouraged & supported me in my own. He joined in rituals, not because he believed necessarily what I did, but for the whole social/community aspect. | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/22/2007 2:16:05 PM | I'm not Wiccan, but rather am an Anglo-Nordic Heathen... mostly Anglo-Saxon, but you have to default to the Norse lore a fair amount (though perhaps less than some people think).
To answer the question, no, I don't make a point of telegraphing my religion. I do wear my Thunor's Hammer openly, which usually leads to questions, et al., and I make no effort to hide my beliefs, but I did my "tour of duty" many, many years ago and it's just not something that I think needs to be thrown "on the table" right from the get go.
My ex learned of my beliefs quite fast once we got serious, and while she wasn't much for all the highbrow aspects of the beliefs, she was nevertheless a very festive spirit and embraced the seasonal blessings, knew the deity names and general character, and must have picked up at least a thing or two during one of my monologues.
There are different levels of dedication at which people interface with an ethnocentric folk religion like Teutonic Belief, and the social/cultural level is as viable as any other. Perhaps even more so, considering that that is the level the greatest number of people can connect and interrelate at.
Most people though, in my experience, seem to be put off by the mention of religion, as a result of preconceived notions. I personally can't blame them, and generally tend to be a bit suspicious of anyone that makes too big a deal, too early on about their religious persuasion myself. Damn them preconceived notions, huh? | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/22/2007 3:10:04 PM | Not Wiccan, but very upfront about my Pagan beliefs, thus my net name and the contents of my profile.
I stopped trying to date outside the Pagan community many years ago due to problems I encountered with non-Pagans unable to accept my beliefs, trying to convert me to their particular POV, and/or disparaging mine.
I don't find it creates a problem if the man in my life has a different *Pagan* belief system than mine or is agnostic, but I have found it to become a problem, sooner or later, if he is a member of an Abrahamic religion, or a strong atheist. The one exception to this was one wonderful man who was a Sufi. Alas, there were other factors that made our relationship a short-term one.
Would I totally rule out a non-Pagan as a possible relationship partner? No, but I would definitely think thrice--and encourage him to do so also--before moving beyond a casual dating/friendship level. | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/22/2007 3:53:58 PM | I'm with Mars on this - I don't proclaim it wherever I go. I don't wear a big piece of "pagan bling" but a small symbol of my own path (Baltic).
In general it's not a problem for me to date a non-pagan as I am not usually attracted to overtly religious individuals - the ones who wear their faith on their sleeves, and that includes other Pagans. If an individual insists on wearing a pendant the size of a hub-cap, doesn't matter what their path is, I am not interested. For me, spirituality/faith is very private and personal.
I don't necessarily declare my path on a first date, but then usually on a first date you can get a general feeling with regards to the individual. | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/23/2007 11:24:09 AM | | "pagen bling" or any kind of religious 'bling' is tacky. I'm definatley not talking about pushing your beliefs on people, just curious how people react when you tell them your beliefs, some people think pagen and Wiccan's are way 'out there.' | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/23/2007 1:52:00 PM | lol Druie... "Pagan bling". I am officially stealing that phrase.
I'm Pagan not Wiccan, although I do enjoy some of the teachings. I have it in my profile under interests. I get alot of "So what's Paganism?"
I like to slip it into the conversation early on somewheres. Usually during the 'so what do you like to do/what interests do you have' conversations.
I don't really care if they have the same beliefs, but they need to be tolerant of mine. | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/23/2007 5:31:08 PM | | I have alternative beliefs that dont fit any real category and I have found its best to just not talk about it! | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/23/2007 7:40:48 PM |
I have alternative beliefs that dont fit any real category and I have found its best to just not talk about it!
Ditto.
And on a related note... I can't really say as I've ever had a problem arise from dating a non-Wiccan. | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/25/2007 6:13:58 AM | I would have to find someone who was very open minded if not pagan/wiccan/alternative. My faith is a huge part of me, i would find it difficult to be with someone who didnt accept me for who i am and all that comes with me (faith, envirionmental concern and veganism).
And yes i do feel its important to be open about such issues early on in the relationship, though i dont believe in preaching or trying to convert anyone and hope they wouldnt try and do that to me either. | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/25/2007 9:24:18 AM | | so... although religion is a big part of everyone it is all relitive one of best friends is wiccan, we enjoy our little debates on religious belifes. because really if you can't butt heads and forgive and forget about it none of it matters. my wiccan friend is dating a roman-catholic, and another buddy o'mine is athist and is dating a jehovas witness. the only awkward part for either of them is that their GFs parents haven't been informed of their significant others belifes, to care about what god some one belives in is to care to much about the insignificant, while to just co-exist together is the only important isn't it? but oh yeah i guess im pagen, but i was always brougt up to belives what goes around comes around, so blaw i forgot where i was going with all this, sorry. | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/25/2007 5:48:34 PM | I'm an agnostic, so all religions seem a little "out there" to me :)
Seriously, I wouldn't want to date someone who jumped on every bandwagon that came along, or who embraced a nonstandard religion just to freak out others (like her parents, for example). But if she was sincere in her beliefs, and didn't try to convert me, then it wouldn't be an issue.
BTW, I don't put up with anyone trying to convert me--including christians. | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/25/2007 9:00:32 PM | I am very honest and open about my beliefs. My POF profile states I am Wiccan and not wanting to be "saved" or converted. I don't wear austentatious Pagan Bling (LOL that is the second time in one day I came across that the first time today was on a pagan podcast site from Ontario). While I have not always been Wiccan or Pagan I have found that eventually religon does come up. If you are looking for a serious long-term committment anyway. Talk eventualy will lead to worldviews, religon and if a potential partner has been found then it most likely will have to be discussed. In my experience some folks can work it out and others can't. So I am up front if it looks like it has the potential to go beyond just coffee dating. I have gotten mixed responses from both POF messages and in face to face meetings. Datingwise for me it hasn't really worked well outside of Pagan/Wiccan circles. As much as I cared for the person I was not going to convert and did not want them to.
BB
Drew | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/28/2007 2:35:09 PM | My path is Wicca based but I dont call my self Wiccan. Im too eclectic for that. I dont really advertise my beliefs but I dont hide them either. I do have Wicca, and Paganism listed in my profile. If it has casued someone not to contact me,I do not know. I have no problem dating some who is non-pagan. Not too many single pagans were I live so I dont have much of a choice! lol
As long as they are open-minded about spiritual stuff it is ok. I have that in my profile too. Most of the time spirituallity dosent seem to come up in conversation but if a relationship progresses far enough it eventually will. Sometimes it is better to be up front about it. I did that once. Asked a guy on our first coffee date how he felt about dating a Witch. He nearly fell of his chair! lol  We have become very close friends since then but are not really dating. He says he is not ready for anything serious. oh well.... | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/29/2007 11:22:11 AM | I was baptized Catholic, but work with a Lutheran Church which my father's side of the family is very involved in....yet I practice and believe in Wicca and Shamanism. When invovled in relationships, I look for someone who is very open-minded or has similar faiths. I dated one Christian guy who didn't agree with me or my beliefs, and tried to have me converted to Christianity within a week of dating. Needless to say, the relationship ended fairly quickly. (And yes, he was a fellow pof member).
I think having a partner who is open-minded is the key. Only certain people can handle this information, and those are the only people that I tell about what I practice. My mum recently saw my tarot cards and witches tarot book - she had all kinds of questions. I had to lie and tell her I only dabbled and researched into it. The key is getting to know your partner. If they can't accept you for who you are or what you believe in, then obviously he/she is not the match for you.
Gypsy | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 1/31/2007 9:12:34 PM | | I'm just a guy who lives his life but life is about meeting people who might not belive or do the same things as everyone else, life is about learning and seeing new things. I'm not even sure what a wiccan is but if you find someone cute and vice versa than whats the harm in meeting for a cup of java? | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 2/1/2007 7:54:14 AM | I strait-up tell people when I meet them online... my screenname here portrays that I am "Pagan" as well as my screennames or profiles on other websites do. I'm "open" about it online to begin with, so usually those who talk to me are OK with it from the get-go; but in person I keep it to myself. The general public does not need to see my pentacle, I've got it and I wear it for me... because I am a Pagan man. I am for myself, not for others... so I don't flash any religious identification in public.
As for dating non-wiccan (I'm going to use non-Pagan since I'm not Wiccan). I've only ever had one girlfriend and she was "neutral" and I don't want to talk about her because of the way she left me...
However: I have a friend who I would call "Pagan" but she is hesitant to claim the name... and she dates a Christian male. This guy is and has been openly accusing her and me and all our like-minded friends of "satan-worship" and yet she loves him... I don't understand that...
I've heard many stories of marriages falling apart because of the Christian partner telling the kids that "Mommy" or "Daddy" is "going to hell because they worship Satan" when the Christian partner knows full and well that we don't even believe in Satan...
I've also heard a few stories where the Christian partner turns the children against the Pagan parent and then turns against the Pagan parent altogether... to the point where the Pagan has to litterally divorce and "leave" the entire family they had "never to return," children and all because of "hatred" the Christian partner created against the Pagan partner...
I wouldn't stay with a person who thinks I worship "evil" or Satan... or who is a member of a religion which promotes this idea.
Just my p.o.v.
--Chase | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 2/1/2007 5:59:32 PM |
I wouldn't stay with a person who thinks I worship "evil" or Satan... or who is a member of a religion which promotes this idea.
I completley agree with this. If someone thimks someone is 'evil,' I can't see a relationship going anywhere.
About this....
I've heard many stories of marriages falling apart because of the Christian partner telling the kids that "Mommy" or "Daddy" is "going to hell because they worship Satan"
My maternal mother used to tell me that my Dad was going to go to hell because he wasn't a born again christian. To me, that is NOT something you tell your kids. I can only imagine how bad it would get when a parent tells the kids their other parent 'worships the devil!' How ignorant and cruel to the poor kids! | |
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rucira
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Joined: 3/18/2005
Msg: 22 | |
| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 2/28/2007 1:18:28 AM | | in my case its pretty obvious. If it comes up , i tell them, so far ive never gotten past that level. im looking for another wiccan or pagan man to date!!!! ONLY | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 2/28/2007 4:01:57 AM | | I'm Wiccan/Pagan and have always been open about it. My husband isn't but he respects my beliefs. While we did get married by the JP in December, we'll be have a handfasting this summer, at his suggestion as he knows it is important to me. | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 2/28/2007 10:45:56 AM | MSG 123 "what's up with all the women RUCIRA WROTE:billy lives in a garage at his moms place and has hep c, refuses to test for hiv and is only looking for casual middle of the nite encounters. hes homeless, jobless, and an opportunist. his photos are ten years old. women friends? he sits alone , forevermore.beware . he is a heart breaker and has no clue how to treat a woman. He has no women at all......msg 223 "LONG HAIR ON OLDER WOMEN" RUCIRA WROTE:LONG hair is for pulling and no one should cut their hair.
BILLY s hair is actually quite grey though , with split ends and he needs a hairdresser desperately. he needs a woman desperately too, but has severe intimacy issues.
tHIS WOMAN IS OBVIOSLY MENTALLY ILL and I am demanding the posts be deleted forthwith!! and she be banned forthwith. I am contacting a lawer.......
i HAD A CUP OF COFFEE WITH THIS PERSON AND SHE WANTED TO OWN ME!!
Gives wiccans the title EVIL DEVIL WORSHIPERS. I hope she is happy now!! | |
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| Wiccans and dating...
Posted: 2/28/2007 5:58:07 PM | | So because of one bad apple you are calling all Wiccans evil? Come on...be realistic. You can't peg an entire religion and give it a bad name because of one person. And chances are, she was into bdsm if she wanted to own you, so I guess all those people are bad too huh? | |
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