| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 3:00:39 PM | I have carried on online only conversations with 10-20 women
over the last year and a half.
I have learnt about their dating cycles
IE
they are dating a guy,they break up,they are dating another one etc
Me, and a lot of my men friends seem to have a much less of a dating /intimacy cycle
with much longer time between partners..........
Have any of you in cyberland noticed this trend too?
What does it say?
thoughts?
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 3:02:50 PM | it tells me what cums around goes around  and if i am living a healthy life without too many hangups and a full plate I wood not notice such things  | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 3:11:58 PM |
Have any of you in cyberland noticed this trend too?
Oh, please! You didn't really ask that?! This is a friggin dating buffet! Heck, as long as there's some tasty lil morsel to taste, they'll be lots and lots of tasting.  | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:01:29 PM | I think that is kinda my point............^^^^^^^^^
the more I learnt about how many men some ladies had dated in the last year,the less interested I became
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:29:06 PM | I have had about 3 dates in the last year and 3 months. I broke up with my last guy a year ago November. I got very busy and the stresslessness of my new freedom was hard to let go of. I worked many hours and spent the rest of my time with family. Even taking my long free time to go on a vacation or two.
There is always long periods between my relationship - not usually this long but again - the freedom is nice.
I never did feel the need to "have to have' a mate. Having one was NEVER a big priority.
Everyone is different - maybe if you saw a larger cross section of individuals then your statical theory may sway differently. | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:31:16 PM |
the more I learnt about how many men some ladies had dated in the last year,the less interested I became
Are you sure these are dates or just first time meetings... I've had alot of those, but they certainly don't qualify as if "dating" someone. | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:40:01 PM | I went on a coffee date recently...........
I found out I was
'date/go see # 3' .......THAT WEEK
as in she had 3 such meetings in a week,sorta job inteview style.
I gotta be honest it was a bit of a turn off
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:50:33 PM | Hey, it's easier to find dates on here, and honestly, if you are the third 'date' in a week, obviously 1-she's not ready to get serious , or 2- she didn't hit it off with the other guys... no need to be turned off, unless of course she was having more than 'coffee' with them 
edit: a guy that 'appears on 185 favorites lists' may worry me as a date  | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:52:48 PM | they are dating a guy,they break up,they are dating another one etc
Me, and a lot of my men friends seem to have a much less of a dating /intimacy cycle
with much longer time between partners..........
Have any of you in cyberland noticed this trend too?
What does it say?
thoughts?
I think everyone has their own pace when it comes to dating He/She,what ever
some are desperate some aren't some are fussy,some are patient
it all depends were you are on the food chain. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:55:33 PM | Here's my thoughts about how the sexes have their cycles (picture this on a 2 seater bicycle)
#1 - women pedal forwards
#2 - men pedal backwards
You wonder why we ever get anywhere? We're hardly in sync | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 5:02:16 PM | | I'll take quality over quantity any day. My number one pet peeve with online dating is that there really is too much choice and people for the most part aren't gonna invest too much time into something that doesn't knock their socks off right away. Sometimes it takes time and patience for things to work, sadly most people aren't willing to take or give the time needed for things to grow. | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 5:12:35 PM |
as in she had 3 such meetings in a week,sorta job inteview style.
I gotta be honest it was a bit of a turn off
That does seem like alot... don't know how someone makes that much time.
But when someone emails me, I would never think to ask "how many women have you emailed this week"?
I really don't think this is something that should be discussed really, but why would I care? This is all a process of meeting people and looking for someone that you'd like to become more than just friends with. | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 5:17:18 PM |
My number one pet peeve with online dating is that there really is too much choice
I think what you mean instead of choice is competition?
Time and patience is exactly what it takes. (your words) Don't be discouraged. | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 5:20:41 PM | some people, men and women, are 'serial' daters and just don't stay single for very long. you can't expect people, by nature, to not take up romantic opportunities. girls also have a pattern that's more like serious relationship, rebound guy, singledom, relationship, rebound...rinse and repeat.
i'm not turned off if a guy has dated a lot of girls. if he's still single he obviously hasn't met the right one! | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 5:25:35 PM | | Some people date just to date, some don't date if they're not meeting people they're actually potentially interested in. | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 5:26:29 PM |
girls also have a pattern that's more like serious relationship, rebound guy, singledom, relationship, rebound...rinse and repeat.
exactly this is also my point
I would look back at a year in my life I might of dated A woman maybe 2
a lot of my female friends follow the above pattern
I do the math and say ewwwwwwwwwww
she could of sucked face /had sex with like 6 men in the last 10 months
it is a bit of a turm off
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 5:36:04 PM |
I do the math and say ewwwwwwwwwww
she could of sucked face /had sex with like 6 men in the last 10 months
Thus, you have proved my opinion that math is bad for relationships...lol Sorry...had to respond.
I can't say I've seen much of a pattern, but then again, most of the women I've been talking to are either broken up and pondering lesbianism, getting married, or just simply don't talk to me about their past relationships unless they are interested is dating me...
But, honestly, I'll take your "girls also have a pattern that's more like serious relationship, rebound guy, singledom, relationship, rebound...rinse and repeat." statement, remove the "rebound guy" for the sake of being an optimist, and hit post... | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 5:37:58 PM | Hey Guitarman 100:
If you want to know the truth, then look to the "Great Sages of the Ages"...and this is what they'll tell you...
If a woman/women are on a "dating cycle" it reveals the following:
1) They're locked into a pattern of behaviour they can't get out of.
2) They're prone to using men instead of committing to them.
3) They can't evolve beyond the "visual" and superficial.
4) They are lying to themselves and to others (especially in regards to relationships and intimacy).
5) Such women are "parasites" and can easily be spotted by finding out about their past relationships...if they go from one partner/dating/relationship to another without significant time in between, then avoid them.
If you want to find an "evolved" woman who is beyond all of the above, than you yourself must be "evolved" as well...remember it takes two to tango... | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 6:02:17 PM | I think if you are willing to succomb to this idealistic thought...then is will most certainly become reality.
Why not go out on a limb and break the mold? Take a risk and flatter some one you are truly interested in.... | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 6:20:53 PM | Well conversations with 10 - 20 women in an year and a half, for one thing, really isn't that much to come to any conclusions of dating cylces. Were the women of varying types, ages, races, life styles, religions, single, divorced, married, economic status, etc., etc., ect.? How many other people did you interview to come to these conclusions? Your experience as you said is yours. I think many others would come to different conclusions according to their personal experience.
I love the way so many on here leap to conclusions after a bit of chatting and talking and even dating. lol.. It can be very entertaining.
I, personally am NOT in any cycle. Matter of fact, I took a brake for it all for a while because in the last 4 years, and two six month relationships each, I find the dating scene for ME, very lax, too easy going, and men out there do not seem to want to commit much in my age bracket. But I that is MY experience, and I have no idea if its a pattern or not or a cycle, lol...
Seems too, from what many say in the forums, that different areas of the US and Canada have different patterns of dating, what the results are and successes. (I was thinking about moving to Canada.. hehe, just kidding.)
So all in all, I don't think we see any cycle at all. We would have to have a lot more input to come to any type of conclusion to support what you have seen.
Happy fishing everyone! 
Linda | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 6:21:14 PM | Not all women have "dating cycles" and I have as many friends who do vs dont. I think its an insecurity issue as they cant be alone and would rather have someone.... anyone... around. For those of my friends who dont go through that, they are rather choosy (no I dont accept the too picky argument) about who they get to know and they take the time to make sure that the people they let into their lives are the type of person who adds something to a relationship (whatever that might be).
Some posts I have seen on the forums indicate that you should get out and meet as many people as possible so 3 people in one week is perfectly ok to them as there is nothing implied in meeting up. Yes I agree its a bit like an interview when you wind up just sitting at a table with a drink.
Question- If you have been here a year and a half and have been chatting with 10-20 people (lol- you have lost count!) then isnt that also a lot? In comparison, since July I have only talked to 3 people beyond the initial emails and of those I met 2 but I still chat with the third person whom I have never met.
Thoughts? GM100- I would say that might be an indicator of the kind of women you are choosing! | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 6:34:38 PM | | I can honestly say that I notice this trend more in men than I do in women (serial dating and "relationships"). In fact, many of my female friends have often wondered the same thing, but in reverse - why it seems that many men can so easily go from relationship to relationship, or woman to woman, without taking any time for themselves, or deciding what they really want in a relationship, or staying in something long term. Maybe the reason that women do it, is the same reason that men do, and if I ever find the explanation to that phenomenon, I'll let you know! | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 6:39:19 PM | | In cyberland there are many cycles. I note the full moon and strange behavior. You maybe attune with another cycle but the full moon is one I am attune to. | |
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| Intimacy cycles--- of men and women
Posted: 1/22/2007 6:43:15 PM | Well GM, you really need to define 'dating'. You also said a gal you met was on her 3rd (you) coffee meet of that week. A coffee meet isn't a date. Some people know very quickly (within seconds) of meeting someone if they are compatible or not - doesn't mean a relationship will work, but just compatible. It's just as if you'd bumped into 3 strangers. Yeah, you've maybe chatted online, but you really need to meet someone to 'know'. So a lot of people, men and women are looking at it like that. Some have the time to meet that many, some less, some more. Doesn't mean she's kissed them all, or even had a good time with all.
I know some men that do the same thing you're wondering about. Not everyone does it, but both sexes do.
DATING is a completely different bowl of soup. Dating implies kissing to me - at the least, so, that's the girl/guy I'd be wary of. A bit too 'on the make' if you know what I mean. jmo. | |
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