Musyc
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Joined: 12/12/2006
Msg: 1 | |
| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/22/2007 9:09:59 PM | Alright, well here is my deal. I was living with my old girlfriend for 3 1/2 years, and we were going out for almost 5 years. She broke up with me and blah blah blah long story short. 2 Christmas' ago we used my best buy card to buy some presents and she even purchased my christmas present with that...lol Then she got sick and was on stress leave but her company informed her later into the leave that they made a mistake and what they paid her will be deducted from her next pay in installments and she will not be getting anymore stress leave pay...so we needed to cover rent to I covered from my credit. Now she left and hasnt' paid me back. I know she owes serious money, but I do as well. I have talked to her and she agreed that we would pay half of the overdraft for rent since we shared everything and she would pay for the best buy as well. About $1400 total. This was in the summer. Now it's January and I asked her after christmas and she said she would if she could. then she blocked me on msn. I let it go for a bit, and emailed her again asking whats going on with the money situation and saying I'm not a creditor but just because i'm a person I shouldnt' be put on hold, I have interest building up and this was 2 christmas' ago. so I'm going to wait for what she says...but I was wondering what are my options?? Do I have legal rights? Or will I lose my money...has anyone else gone thru this...what happened...i don't want ppl saying this is a lesson and all...that isn't going to help me with the money.
Thanks! | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/22/2007 9:20:32 PM | | Nothing you can do to get the money from her. The cards are in your name, it's legally your debt. I know its not what you want to hear, but thats the way it is. | |
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Musyc
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Joined: 12/12/2006
Msg: 3 | |
| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/22/2007 9:23:22 PM | | Thanks for replying...thats what i thought. but she did agree by email...does an email hold up in court? | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/22/2007 9:35:20 PM | | yes, an email will hold up in court. they have at least 5 cases a week exactly like this on judge judy. I suggest you sign up for her show and sue the girl. you'll win I think. | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/22/2007 9:41:38 PM | I haven't been in this situation, but I think you do have legal right (but I'm no lawyer). An e-mail might hold up in court, but I would try to get other evidence. Definetly keep that e-mail, though. The cards are in your name, yes, but it's considered a loan. My guess is that she would either deny it ever happened (which she probably wouldn't do) or go with the defense that you gave it to her as a gift. At that point it really depends on the judge. I'd say go after her legally. You aren't going to get the money so you have nothing to lose. You don't even talk to her anymore, so why not go after her. Any information that you can draw out of her that she did accept the money from you and did depend on giving it back would be a big plus. Try to voice record her or something, and if you do make sure you tape the whole conversation. Anyway, good luck. You can always send me a message on my profile if you have any other questions if you want more opinions.
-Drew- | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/22/2007 9:44:30 PM | OP " what are my options?? Do I have legal rights? "
File a Small Claims Court action, I believe in your area, they now go up to $25,000.
Very useful to know: where she lives, works and banks (in case you get a judgement, service and collecting can be a game in itself, otherwise). | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/22/2007 9:56:21 PM | | It's some past Christmas from some years ago that she used your card to buy gifts. It's only now that you've broken up that you're trying to get her to pay on it. Well, unless you have something from her in writing where she's stated she intends to pay you back, you've got nothing to stand on. Same goes for the rent. You'd have to prove these were loans, and you're not going to be able to do that, because if they were loans or if being paid back at the time was part of the deal, years would not have gone by without you seeking or getting some payments. A judge will easily see that you were in a relationship living with someone, you financed her some which was OK with you at the time because you expected the relationship to continue and it's only now that it hasn't that you're trying to get the money back. | |
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Musyc
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Joined: 12/12/2006
Msg: 10 | |
| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:40:29 PM | 1. it's not years ago. chritmas 05 that was a little over a year. We broke up in April 06. We've talked a few times since then about this money issue. She had said she was going to and I had given her some time as I knew she was struggling and I was being nice and letting her get on her feet. But now it's been awhile and she blocked me after she replied back to me 2 weeks ago.
2. I'm not just asking cause we broke up. At the time I was going to school and she was making the money. I overdrafted from my account.
3. she owes my mother $200 for an aerosmith ticket...and is behind in all her payments and has always been...so that should show something against her
5. i'm not really seeking legal advice really...i'm lookin more for advice or if anyone has been in this situation so I know where not to go or where to go. i don't want to go to court for this, but if i have to then thats a story so i want all my options | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 9:34:32 AM | Free legal advice might be available in your area, if you check the yellow pages.
Personally, I'd send her a registered letter detailing the debt, reminding her of her agreement from the emails that she agreed to pay you and your expectation of immediate payment.
If that doesn't spur her into action of some sort, your next step would probably be court.
And, when you do go, use the registered letter as part of your evidence, along with the copies of the specific detailed bills, the emails, any attempts you made to contact her to collect the debt, including, how you did it, the dates, witnesses, phone records, messages left on answering machines, etc. Watch a couple of court tv shows if you aren't sure what to do and how to act in court.
Be very clear in any written complaints, stick to the point, use good grammar and spelling, don't go on and on about things that don't pertain to the issue and don't embellish or puff up the facts. Dress appropriately when you go to court and make sure that you are very organized. Practice what you would say to the judge, so you won't be nervous. Stand up straight, don't chew gum or do distracting things, and don't start an arguement with the other party. Make the best first impression that you possibly can.
Be honest, stick to the facts. Be very detailed. The more information you have, the better chance you have to prove your case in court. Good luck! | |
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ya472
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 12 | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 9:54:06 AM | In your post you mentioned that at the time you were going to school and she was making the money? Does that mean she was paying for everything?
I am not a lawyer yet, and I am articling in criminal law so I don't know too much about this, but just from common sense I don't think you will get too far with this. The only thing I can see you can do is going to a small claims court, which will take months to get a trial date, so you won't get the money right away and from what I ready the judge is probably not going to grant you much if anything, because you were in a relationship and you were really sharing the money, can you imagine what would happen to the legal system if every couple that broke up went to court for some money that they had "lent" to their partner while they were in a relationship and living together?
Good luck | |
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RJB888
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Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 14 | |
| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 11:13:12 AM | I would seek legal advise on this. You can call legal aid (if there is one near you) they can give free legal advise.
Maybe small claims is the answer. I personally know someone who pretty much was in the same situtation. They had all the credit card statements, and emails back and forth between them. He was awarded the money plus court costs. BUT he sought legal counsel before hand.
I would strong advise you do that. POF is not a legal center. | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 11:21:19 AM | | If you have proof there is always small claims court. It usually deals in amounts under $5000.00 | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 11:32:50 AM | You could talk to an attorney,and/or file in Small Claims court.
But I have to tell you, simply by common sense and reason, that unless you can produce more documentation than a couple of emails, the court is going to see it as a quarrel between former lovers,and may not even HEAR your case. I cannot swear to that, of course,but that would be my guess.
This just goes to further illustrate, that you need to be careful about loaning money, or co-mingling funds in a cohabitation situation. And you might want to check the laws of your particular state, province shire or country about when(if ever) a cohabitation becomes a common-law marriage...
This is gonna sound harsh I know, but if you loan money to a relationship partner,make sure you won't lose your own shirt if you never get it back.
The other thing that crossed my mind, is that if this gal has been off work and is struggling financially, you know you can't get blood out of a turnip! If she hasn't got it to give, what are you gonna do? Take her rent money so she winds up out on the street?
Cindy O | |
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xamo
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Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 17 | |
| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 11:52:09 AM | | You can try small claims court...buteven if you win, there's no legaly binding enforcement of the payment.....This is a lesson! use it to to help you with your future money, because your present money is unfortunately f&*ked...and speaking more generally....we don't HAVE to spend money we don't have on Christmas etc.) everone likes nice stuff, but it is always the thought that counts for better or worse... | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 11:57:57 AM | | Honestly you can take her to court but in all reality you know she is not giving you the money. Especially if she has her own debts and does not even pay them. I would just instead of wasting anymore time and money- cause it is not free to go to court. I would move on and NEVER do that again! Very sorry that happened to you though! | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 12:15:44 PM | I'm not just asking cause we broke up.
Nothing you just posted changes anything. You don't have a leg to stand on. You have a piece of paper with her signature on it that specifically states she's to pay back for these things or not?
Listen, part of my education was as a paralegal. So I'm not giving legal advice by saying this, I'm just saying that it's commonly known that a court is going to require some real evidence that this was intended to be paid back, and not just a matter of a relationship gone south. So far, it sounds like the latter. You're saying that it was understood that her purchases for Christmas of '05 were to be reimbursed to you, but there's no written documentation from that time where she's agreed to that understanding, and by April of '06, when you broke up, there is no documentation of you ever seeking any such re-payment which you would've done, had you both that agreement.
It's only *after* the relationship was over, in the summer of '06, that she allegedly, aaccording to you, agreed to pay you back for a bunch of things, yet there still isn't any agreement to be shown, nor has she made any payments so as to confirm that she had made such an agreement. If she did verbally agree at that time, that's not going to hold up in court if she denies it.
That all makes it look like you let it slide during the relationship, and now that the relationship is over, it's now that you want to get paid back.
So, yes, it looks like you're seeking this because you broke up.
You might, just might, be able to get her share of the rent money, if you can prove she was regularly paying half of it all along back then, but more than that, I doubt it. Good luck. | |
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RJB888
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Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 20 | |
| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 12:57:50 PM | I'm not sure about other states, but in Michigan once you get a judgement from small claims, and they don't pay you can go after state income refunds, you have to put a lein on their refund.
I worked in the medical field, I was in small claims court once a month getting judgements against patients that didn't pay their bills. Once we recieved the judgement and they didn't pay within the time stated in court papers we put leins on their state refunds. I would get calls from people having fits about it. All I could say is pay your bill, and the lein is lifted. So glad I don't work there anymore.
When I was in court I listened to many people trying to collect money from others they lent to. They had to have concrete documentation, and emails that stated monies would be paid back were allowed. That's why I really suggest legal advise. | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 1:07:04 PM | | You can check with a lawyer...even though it's on your card, you two did have a verbal agreement...a letter from a lawyer may be all you need to get her to start paying. Write everything up - what she owes you for rent, the card, etc. - and go see a lawyer. | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 3:29:13 PM | | You can get some sort of 'Admission' from her either by recording her conversation or by email or chat. Then take her to small claims court. It doesn't cost much to do that. | |
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| Money from ex!!! Help Please!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 5:59:33 PM | | The issue truly is it is non secured debt. Which makes it very hard to collect. How do you squeeze blood from a stone? That’s why the interest rates are high on credit cards. Even if you received a judgment in small claims court it may not be collectable and nonbinding to the creditors. The judge could award you the money owed which you can’t collect. You both still owe the card holders. Good luck. | |
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