| | Is he just not interested?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | | ok well I met this really nice guy on here and we've been talking, met each other....hooked up. I really like this guy but I'm not 100% sure it's mutual. I'm definately interested in seeing him on a more intimate level..We've talked about it a little bit, but not much seems like the topic gets switched up anytime "serious" discussions arouse. I've taken it upon myself to message him ask to see him... seems like its me doing all the work to see each other. Do you think he's just not interested.. He says he is .. I've even questioned him about me just being a booty call and I was assured I'm not.. I'm just wondering what your opinon is about this? Would a guy lie about this to continue the sexual part of a relationship? | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 5:33:41 PM | Communication is a two way street. It sucks that he won't be straight with you. Stop taking the initiative. Wait and see how long it takes for him to call you. This could give an indication of how he feels.
Just a thought... | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 6:21:02 PM | | thanks, I'll do that and see what happens... I think the only reason I havn't yet is because im scared of the "answer"! | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 6:28:43 PM | Good ole insecurity, we all have it to some degree. Better to find out now than to just go on being used. Wouldn't you think?
Anyway, hope it works out for you, if not? There are plenty of fish... | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 6:46:02 PM | | well he's maybe not into you, he may just want you for sex, because he may be talking to other women on the side. | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 7:19:53 PM | Is he really single? Are you totally sure there isn't another girl behind his intentions? Maybe he is really interested in you, but your not the only one in his life. If that is the case, I wouldn't go for it.
If that's not the case then I'd say that he may not be interested in you but the problem is, you are a girl, and guys are simple, we need girls. If that is the case, don't go for it either, who needs to be used?
The silent treatment is definitely a good approch. | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 7:35:30 PM | Ya know girl! I have learned that most men don't like to be called upon. for some reason, it takes them for days to call you, and then there ya are, sitting by that phone waiting, wondering. so, you call them, what do they tell ya? that they were just going to call you. yea, right!!
My advice, is let him take that step to call, and if he doesn't then he really isn't worth it, really! I know how you feel, you really would like to be with him...
It took me a long time to realize this, and now, I refuse to do the chasing.. Girl, we are worth more then that! You are worth more then that! So, keep your head up high, and smile. I know there has to be some one out there just for you! Sherri Good Luck!! | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 7:51:18 PM | wait a sec...are you saying that you are having sex with him?
not to sound too negative or overly judgemental...but i would suggest that if you have already had sex and you are still doing all the work in the to see each other ...
well..i hate to say it but thats a big indicator right there.
As well you say if you talk about sometihng "serious" the topic is changed...
hmm...
hmmm...
sorry but i think the last part of your post kinda said it all...
Would a guy lie about this to continue the sexual part of a relationship?
yup...many a man would do exactly that.. | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 8:25:22 PM | its nice to see the male answer to this and I would agree with subotai~ you answered your own question~
and as a woman, I know its difficult to deal with the way men are wired, vs women...but at least we have men on this forum willing to help us figure it all out~
Make him call you sister...sit on your hands if you have to and delete his number out of your cell so it isn't so tempting...but let him wonder why you aren't doing the chasing...
good luck! | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 9:05:30 PM | | Go with your gut instinct do not over anylise the situation. Most of the time the obvious awnser is the awnser sitting right in front of you. Us men are right to the point there is no ifs or buts, it is what it is... If you feel as if you are wasting your time ask him he will tell you. like the previous statment says share the chasing let him do some work aswell. No man likes to get a completly free meal unless he is looking for one thing. Some of us do like to know we do have to work. If he wants it he will persue it. If he is not serious about you he would not even bother with you. Just my two cents!! | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 9:31:56 PM | | I agree, if theres no challenge in the relationship, he is probably keeping you as "back up". I hate to say it but if he's not doing any of the calling, then either he's not interested, or he figures you will sit and wait until he has nothing better to do. Just my opinion though, as always I could be wrong. | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 9:46:31 PM | Let him call you. If you are the one doing everything to keep it going then it is not worth it.
Sounds like you are his back up plan. | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 10:10:39 PM | | I apologize for what this guy is doing to you, but it sounds like the only thing he is interested in doing is having sex with you. He is in the "have my cake and eat it too" mentality. He doesn't want to be in a serious relationship right now because he is probably pursuing multiple girls and you just happen to be one of them. Don't question him on whether he is using you for a booty call(because he would never admit that), instead ask him if the two of you are in an exclusive relationship where its just the two of you. Don't let him change the topic, just keep repeating the question over and over until he answers you. Hope everything works out for you. | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 10:14:20 PM | Watch out. There's not enough facts to go on here. Just your feelings. I doubt we could accurately answer this, and from what you posted, people are going to reply doubtful because you seem doubtful. It would be a shame if he was for real and you ditched him because the internet told you to.
So, what do we know?
You're interested in him.
You have insecurities about how much he's into you. Careful, if you bring them up TOO much to him, this can drive him away because you're not trusting him. Especially if it's frequent. However, is your distrust justified or not? We don't know. But don't worry, insecurities are normal and healthy. It's what you do with them that's helpful or dangerous.
Men typically don't like serious discussions and will avoid them, especially if the ice is thin and they can fall in. Best avoided unless there's a "real" problem. It can feel like he's under attack.
He says he's interested. Is this truth or not? We don't know.
If you were just a booty call, why would he be honest about that? Odds are, it would end the booty call. Or, maybe he's being honest and sees you as more than that.
And YES YES YES YES YES, a guy is quite capable of lying to get sex. Simply because women don't want "free" sex nearly as often. They want something in return. Most of us want free sex, and we want it now with as little cost to us as possible. Women have to go and make that difficult by making prelims, hoops to jump though and adding mystery as to what that cost is. (It's REALLY not as fun as you make it sound. But we put up with it, because that's it's cost.)
Trust your heart, and trust the facts. Your emotions....those are nice, but aren't very trustworthy for most of us. Emotions often defy or distort logic.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to cool it for a bit. Give him the CHANCE to work for you at his own pace, and see what that pace is. If you're dissatisfied with his pace, or there is no pace, move on. | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/26/2007 10:44:22 PM |
Would a guy lie about this to continue the sexual part of a relationship?
It depends on how whether the fellow has a lack of moral fibre or not. | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/27/2007 2:54:47 AM | If you have to start a thread asking if the guy is interested.... he's not.
It really is that simple. | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/27/2007 5:07:36 AM | i agree not enough info..
but i would like to say as a man, having a woman isn't the be all and end all!
i personally have a busy life and to spend 24/7 with a woman aint gonna happen. so if he's an older guy like me he might feel the same.
i run when i find out that a lady wants to make me her whole life, sorry i already have one. | |
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Kiki77
| | Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 18 | |
| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 1/30/2007 9:59:13 PM | Easy one...he's just not that into you sweetie. It stings a little at first, but once you accept that reality, you'll feel free to move on. Subotai really said everything you need to know about this one. But I'll still throw in my long and drawn-out two cents.
Stop torturing yourself with all the wondering and worrying over whether he is serious or not. While you're wasting time and emotion doing that, he is so not concerned and probably busying himself with scouting out other pof talent. If he were serious, he would say or do something to let you know beyond a doubt so that you're not just out there in limbo. If you think about it, he's probably doing just enough--and i mean the absolute bare minimum--to keep you under the delusion that he gives a damn...and the only reason he's probably even doing that much is in case he needs you for emergency purposes (i.e. that thing that you've already given him).
The fact that you feel you're doing most/all of the chasing says a lot about what he really thinks of you. Leave with some self-respect and don't allow him to have you all emotionally strung out when he's clearly not putting forth that much effort. There's plenty more out there where he came from that are probably more worthy of your attention anyway.
Good luck  | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 2/1/2007 8:49:20 PM | I'm a woman reading this forum, but I'd say
"He's just not that into you"
Move on sister! NEXT! | |
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| Maybe
Posted: 2/20/2007 12:30:31 AM | Maybe he's believes only married people should have sex? Inless ya'll are already doing it.
Maybe he is trying to and doesn't know how to make that step because he fears loosing you over the question?
He might be too nice a guy and think he has to be invited too, because he is to polite to ask? Yes, I may have been there in my life,  laughing at self.. | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 2/20/2007 1:37:44 AM | hey baleitch..... I disagree with you about your remark..... you know the one about how everyone has some form of insecurity.
It's just the people who lack self-confidence that have insecurity.
For example: I know myself... if a lady does not show her interest....so what.... I won't stay up all night worrying about it. Why? because there are plenty more woman out there who can be/would be interested. It's just finding them.
As for the thread topic...
From a guy's perspective.... improve your self-confidence once you improve your self-confidence you will stop worrying about it. Please note..... your self-confidence will not be improved over night though.
As for this guy..... let it go if he's interested.. he'll let you know.
Remember people Dating is a numbers game. But, it is also like going for job interviews too.
If you are interviewed and did not get hired .... obviously you were not the right person for the job. But, while you are waiting for the decision to come down from the hiring manger.... just keep going on with your life and don't worry about it.
Mr. I | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 2/20/2007 11:04:18 AM | | its a shame to say but there are some guys out there for just sex...if he avoides the topic of a relationship then it might be either hes not interested or he just hates that conversation i know i avoid that conversation like the plague even if i really like her....i agree that you should step back and see what he does men like women that are assertive but you have to be careful that in ur pursuit you dont push him away | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 2/20/2007 11:16:53 AM | | what ? you came out and asked him if you was a booty call? thats retarded! what is he gonna think you think of him now? "oh she just thinks i use her, I'm not that type of person and she can't see that" thats what he might say to his friends or himself, I would, asking i believe was a major mistake but being reinsured is a good thing i guess. | |
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| Is he just not interested?
Posted: 2/20/2007 11:46:39 AM | I'm kind of in the reverse situation with a girl I've dated off and on for over a year (but with a long break in the middle - more of a relationship revisited). We get together once in a while but then other times we'll make plans and she'll say things (in email) like "I'll have to take a raincheck on Tuesday" but then not follow through with something like "but how about Thursday?" or any other option - just drops it. So I'm taking that as she's just not that into me.
Here's the bottom line...
If it's even a question in your mind, then, by default, the answer automatically is they just are not that into you.
Have you ever had a great relationship that just started out with a bang and you did everything together and were always on each other's minds and maybe your first date turned into a whole weekend? You didn't have to wonder then, did you? | |
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