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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the per      Home login  
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 spauls49
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 1
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
A question for everyone based upon your experience:

How many people (on this site or others), have talked with someone online, seen their photos and found them very attractive/to their liking, then met them in person and the person looks nothing like their photo(s), or the pic was of them 50 pounds and 10 years ago (not to be rude, but I went through this...)?

It happened to me not too long ago - and now I always feel compelled to ask anyone I am going to talk to if their pic is real or recent, looks are not the most important draw for me, but I do feel I have the right to know if I am being jerked around or not. I was really freaked out by that and I really do not like the thought of it happening again...any similar stories or opinions??

I'd love those who are doing it to admit to it as well...because I'd love to know why you'd do that...and please don't say that the photo from 1998 is the most recent photo online you have lol...
 luv_summer2000
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 2
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When pictures in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 4:14:54 PM
Oh yeah...been there, done that! And, yes, I also feel compelled to ask whether the picture is recent or not. Typically, if they get "overly offended" that I would ask such a question, it's a sure sign that the picture is NOT a recent one.

I don't have a picture posted for very personal reasons -- not because I'm unattractive. And I will communicate with others who don't have a picture posted. If/when I think the time might be right (after we've gotten to know each other a little better) I'll provide a recent photo if they will. And sometimes even THAT doesn't work.

When it doesn't, I'm also no longer "afraid" to mention that they look totally different than their picture AND that I see that as a form of lying and deception and we are therefore probably not a match at all.

I would ALSO love to hear from people who have 10-year-old pictures posted or pictures of them when they were 50-100 pounds lighter. There must be some logical explanation of it -- although I really can't think of one!
 nursetbone
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 3
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When pictures in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 4:18:17 PM
happened to me once the guys picture must of been 15 yrs old he was thin in it --when i met him he was fat and bald to boot i nearly died as i like tall or at least thin men, why not be truthful?? there is someone out there for everyone some like em tall ,short ,fat,or skinny so why lie??? just be yourself your date is gonna find out sooner or later , but let me say most people won't do it so keep looking you'll find the right one
 Nurse Bubbles
Joined: 1/24/2007
Msg: 4
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First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 4:33:44 PM
i let everyone who asks know that my picture is not me. unfourtunatly my computer hates me and won't allow me to put recent photos on my profile. once i get to know somone well enough to exchange nubers i can send a photo from my phone. i don't set out to decive people. i have blonde hair, fair skin, i am a woman, and a nurse. so the picture on my profile does resemble me, in a roundabout kind of way. i would never meet someone with out them seeing me first.
 Wolfmate
Joined: 1/24/2007
Msg: 5
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 5:01:28 PM
Ok so I'm really to all this but I've been reading through all the different forums and I'm not sure if I'm one of the people you're talking about.
My pic is brand new..it's from my passport picture but the other two are from about 8 years ago.
This is due mainly to me not having any other pics of myself. I will say that although the others are older I'm 60lbs lighter now, if that makes a difference.
I just thought that at least it would show the preverbial 1000 words.
 LiL Bohemian
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 6
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 5:50:18 PM
If there is any doubt about the authenticity of the posted pic (or no pic at all, as in my own case) I've found that using a webcam and chatting with that person in real time 'Live' is a wonderful solution. A webcam rarely lies... at least not visually haha.

Not everyone has a webcam of course (though in this day and age I wonder why not, they aren't expensive anymore and if people are really keen to date 'online' I strongly urge people to purchase one).

Using the cam for that first 'face to face' introduction online, not only tells the visual facts of a person but also gives insight into their personality and humour and how they will likely present before (and if) you meet in the real world. Its a non-threatening and usually very illuminating intro.

Much easier than just messaging, texting or phoning. It also breaks the ice initially and allows you to get to know (and ok, suss them out) a little before agreeing to meet for real at a cafe or wherever. Its not fail-safe of course, but you still have the safety of the net, at that point.

I find it a very worth-while screening tool. At least for that first introductory step.
 spauls49
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 7
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 5:55:08 PM
Very good lilbohem....I think you're right...efficient fast, and one does not actually have to go through all the trouble of meeting the person to get all the things that a picture can not say.
 *tinydancer*
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 8
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 5:55:57 PM
I'll tell you honestly that out of the 15 or so guys I've met over the past year, only one of them looked similar to his picture and one actually looked better. Nothing worse than thinking you're going to meet tall, dark and handsome and find short, white and creepy......
 dawn1114
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 9
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First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 6:19:41 PM
All the men I've met looked pretty much like their photos, taking into account pics are two-dimensional. A few have been a little shorter than I thought they'd be, but not significantly (I think men forget that they shrink a bit as they age, and list the height they BELIEVE they are.)

Everyone I've met has recognized me. My photos range from one-year-old to three-months-old. One poor man exclaimed, "You look just like your pictures!" I think he might have had a bad experience or two.

Fake/old pictures make no sense to me if you're actually going to meet. Wouldn't it be mortifying to have someone look at you and be shocked or disappointed?
 Love_on_fire
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 10
When pictures in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 6:19:48 PM

When it doesn't, I'm also no longer "afraid" to mention that they look totally different than their picture AND that I see that as a form of lying and deception and we are therefore probably not a match at all.


This may sound alittle wierd and against the tide here, but first off, how and why would you consider it "lying" if a person posted a pic of themselves that happens to be alittle old.

People that are so worried about this and puit such high emphasis on this show a big red flag, becausae if someone is too caught up in another persons looks and gets angry and feels they were lied to or deceived and they complain about not getting what they wanted, that person is showing that they themselves are not worth it either, and that they are narrow minded if thats all they worry about.

As long as the person posts a picture of themselves and as long as they HAVE a pic, thats enough to me. I mean if they posted a pic of someone else, or if they had no pic up and they told you they looked a certain way and then they ended up totally different, I would understand getting upset, but otherwise, if it is them in their pics and even if the pic is a few years old, thats ok with me, and it is nothing to complain about.

There is MUCH more to a person then their looks.


Just be happy that they have a pic of themselves.
 missmyablue
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 11
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 6:42:19 PM
Every single date I have met here on-line has said that I look better than my posted pictures and they were thrilled...so...I can only conclude that it must not be 'the norm' to look like your photos on here...the only problem with it all is that the guys I have met (for the most part) did not look like THEIR photo(s)! I'm throwin' in the towel....just gonna terrorize the forums I guess...and eventually take a cruise or trip as soon as possible....maybe Tuscany! Maybe even PA...there's a doc there who intrigues me..ahhhh...nope...Brashute's got too many youngsters...enough's enough! I've raised mine!
 webwanderer
Joined: 7/9/2004
Msg: 12
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:11:18 PM
My pics are anywhere from a few months to two years old but all look like i do now. If anyone wanted to know how recent they were or wanted to see me on cam then I woudl be fine with that. The one or two women I have met in person from this or any other site have looked like their pics. Apparently my voice doesn't match what women were expecting, apparently its deeper I am taller than my pics make me out to be. I don't think anyone has been disappointed on meeting me.
 callmejen
Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 13
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:23:39 PM
Yep. I've had that. 3 people I have met off these sites, and none of them looked like the pictures. One pic was from far away, and 'didn't have a camera, so couldn't take a better pic'. That just turned out horribly. One pic was a few years old, and he looked completely different. The other was easily 40 pounds lighter in the pic. I've always stated I'm not shallow in the least, but physical attraction is a huge part in a relationship. If you aren't attracted to them, no amount of 'personality' is going to make up for that. You shouldnt have to say 'if you look like that picture again, then I will like you more'. I want to like someone right now. How they look, how they act, etc. Yes, thing's will change, and who knows how they will look in 5, 10, 20 years, but please please, use a try representation of yourself. It could save you from an unpleasant reaction, and get attention from people who are truely attracted to you.
 Love_on_fire
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 14
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:28:44 PM
The pic I have right now was taken about 4 hours ago, TODAY 28th of January 2007 6:04 Eastern Standard Time. All the pics I have have been taken this year. The two darkerst ones have been taken today.

It worries me, because I was actually going to post a thread this morning and I was almost done it and I was just about to press the "press" button on the bottom right of the creen, and the topic would have been on the phrase "no pic=no reply" especially as it relates to the beginning of a profile and how it effects (IF it effects) other peoples decision to e-mail them. The reason I didn't post was because I thought a) maybe the moderators may delete it lol and b) that people would react harshly for me asking such a question. But I guesse I am doing it here rather indirectly, but it's just that I came across a profile this morning , and a lady had that written on her profile , the first words on her profile, were "no pic=no reply" . I don't know but that just tends to discoruage me sometimes from messaging the person No offense here, but I just wish people would be more concerned about what truly matters more, then getting upset about a persons appearance.

 TonyStarks
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 15
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:30:24 PM
smack fire out ya asses, Yall been hit witha genitic ugly stick, now, then, and forever
 mostlykitten
Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 16
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:40:46 PM
I don't get together with very many people from here but the last one I met's pics did not do him justice. Like I knew he'd be gorgeous from his pics, his pics were really good, couldn't help but be but in person he is just OMG, way beyond expectations, one of the hottest, sexiest, most attractive people I've ever met, not kidding. I had a hard time taking my eyes off of him, told him so many times, I'm pretty open like that when I'm impressed and I'm not easily impressed, this one did it though, stunned me, and his personality matches his looks, very cool, the whole package.

So it can work the other way, some people have up pics that aren't as attractive as they are in real life. I had up some not so good ones when I first joined, they were a few years old, when I was sort of at a lower point but then I got more interested in POF and updated.

I met 4 more before that, one lied about his height, like I wouldn't notice that he was 5.6 not 5.11, even though he had on thick sole shoes LOL, the other 3 were about what I expected, all good looking, you just have to be careful and know how to read between the lines, a lot of people will lie which is dumb, cause the other person isn't going to be happy and they will notice.

I used to use telepersonals when I was in my early 20's, met about 10, was disappointed the first 3 or 4 times but each time they got closer to what I liked. I got pretty good and figuring out who is real and who isn't. I met some liars then, one in particular stands out, very memorable in a bad way, was really bad, but each time I met somebody I learned a little more on how to sort it out. Takes practice LOL
 sherness
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 17
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:06:06 PM
I always make sure that my pics are recent. (New year's eve is the most recent on my profile and the oldest is from Sept 06)

I never hide who I am or what I look like and I expect nothing less from anyone else.

The only person you truly end up hurting by using pics that aren't a true reflection of who you are currently is yourself, since the person you meet will ultimately get cheesed off with the lack of accuracy and walk away. (sometimes, not always)

You are who you are, you cannot change it, so smile, stand up and be proud. There is far more respect in that, than to be something you aren't

My humble opinion as always

Sher
 Vitiate
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 18
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:17:40 PM
You're not in the minority here...

I've met a few women off of here and most have looked nothing like their profile pics. I find it pretty dishonest actually. There was even one girl whose profile was of a little known actress that one of my friends recognized.

Hell, I've even seen an Eva Longoria pic from a chick in Calgary...WTF?

I think it's to get people to message them in the first place...they're embarassed to show their own pic.
 browneyedstallion
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 19
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:20:29 PM
How many people (on this site or others), have talked with someone online, seen their photos and found them very attractive/to their liking, then met them in person and the person looks nothing like their photo(s), or the pic was of them 50 pounds and 10 years ago (not to be rude, but I went through this...)?


I'm new to online dating and have yet to meet anyone in person, but I think it's always a mistake to get expectations from someones photo. Some people photograph better than they look in person and some people aren't very photogenic. There's obviously a lot of deception with some of the pics that people post. A pic isn't going to show every flaw. Some post pics that were taken years ago when they had more hair and were in better shape. Some post stock photo's of other people. Some post pics of well known Internet models that most of us have seen before on other websites. Who are they trying to kid??? LMAO! Why people do this is beyond me! They must not have any intentions of meeting anyone, because the moment of truth will come if they ever do.

Some post one pic of themselves and one of another person who obviously looks nothing like them, but for some reason they seem to think they do. The pics that really throw things for a loop other than the fake pics are the glamour shots. I mean let's face it, no one is going to look as good in person as they do in those. I think it's better just to post some ordinary no frills pics that way you'll look better in person.
 Blossom65
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 20
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:25:30 PM
Well, when I was meeting up with dates from this site, the FIRST thing I would ask them is "exactly how OLD is that pic you have posted?" There were several guys I met that while they vaguely resembled the pic posted, IRL were not even close to the pic!

However, this works on both sides of the coin, Ive talked to several guys that met up with a woman who while claiming she was in her 30's was actually in her 50's!

I cant understand why people lie?????? If your going to meet the person any way, all your doing is setting yourself and the person your dating up for a HUGE disappointment if they pictured you a certain way and you deceived them right off the bat. Hardly worth a 2nd date thats for sure....
 squirterforyou
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 21
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:27:08 PM
Well I try to update my photo once every few weeks, I am pretty open about my size and age and I STILL don't think anyone looks exactly like their picture.

Why lie about the size of my as* when I can't exactly hide it???

I had one recently send me a photo and disclose its 15 years old. What good is that to me today????? I was married 15 years ago, and it seems I have lived two lifetimes since that. It has little bearing on today, nor do I look remotely like the woman I was then.

I have a cam, will go on so I can "prove" myself.... then it quickly degrades to requests for services over the cam. But still better to be honest than have someone feel they wasted time on something sight unseen.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 22
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First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:31:15 PM
~OP~ Welcome to the world of online dating. I hate to be the bad news fairy, but it happens ALL the time.

I'd say that I've been lucky for the most part. Most have looked like their pictures or they have been more physically attractive in person. One man I met was very handsome in his pics, but stunning in person. Several others were much better in person. BUT, those experiences were 5-7 years ago.

In the past 3-5 years, it's been an entirely different scenerio. The demographics have changed. I too have met some people who have posted OLD pictures, altered pictures and pictures that simply aren't them. Weight is a raging issue, as is age.

The only way I've been able to overcome the obstacles is to avoid net meeting or make certain that I have a photo album full of pics. It's sad. I don't know what people are thinking ~ you're meeting face to face. We won't notice the difference???? I don't know what the answer is, so I just gave up meeting via online. It's just too iffy.
 after_midnight
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 23
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:35:06 PM
This has happened to me a few times so what do I do? I call them on it when I am face to face with them. It has not happened often but enough to be frustrating!

Profile says 6 feet 1 - but he really is 5 feet 9 - when I stand next to him and look at the top of his head (is that a bald spot?);
Profile says ATHLETIC - but he really has a pot belly that I'm sure he enjoys rubbing - also I have more muscle than he does? WTF?!

I will not keep going and I know men have trouble with some women not being truthful either!

I have no idea why people do this!
 webwanderer
Joined: 7/9/2004
Msg: 24
First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:55:58 PM
Well lets face it most fo the people that lie are very insecure about themselves and are hoping their wonderful personalities will win you over despite the fact that you began the entire relationship with deception. They obviously don't realize that lying about who they are is an even bigger issue/turn off for the vast majority of potential daters than not being as attractive as they want to be is.
 WomanofFaith50
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 25
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First date: when the picture in the profile look nothing like the person in person.
Posted: 1/28/2007 9:16:46 PM
FOUND THIS TO BE TRUE MOST OF THE TIME!...everyone should be careful online and before u invest time on getting to know someone have them go get a cam. That way you know WHO u are talking to................JUST GET A CAM!, that's the best addvice I can give to you. Cams cost 20 bucks if they won't show you on cam what they look like then they probably are hiding something..................and women should ALWAYS see who they are meeting it much safer. Women use galmour shots all the time online in their profiles and men are SOOO dissapointed when they meet them ( men have told me this online). I have taken all my own pics and what u see is what you get..of course I have a cam also. Hey good luck to all of you on finding what and who you are looking for on the website............Julie
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