| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/28/2007 5:31:32 PM | After last night i have come to one of the 2 conclutions that either men are shallow or they just like hurting women...i witnessed these 2 people who did not look like a couple at first then did and then by the end he left with someone else...leaving the girl there pissed off and that just ruined the rest of her night.
Also there was this other couple i saw that were there together and everything and then he started hitting on another girl and she got upset and pissed off and left cuz who wouldn't if your man was doing that to you?...
I am just confuzed what men think in this situation and what whomen have to say as well...wether this has happened toy ou and what you did in that situation | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/28/2007 5:38:17 PM | | based on your age, and possibly the type of places this may have happened...not unusual for guys to act this way, or for girls either. Many your age are simply too young to settle down, and too immature to show respect for others.....It will pass in time....so just hang in there! | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/28/2007 5:39:27 PM | | yeah i know that but yeah i must admit there are SOME nice ones out there that i have seen...but it just befudles me how slow men mature...lol | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:18:50 PM | women do it too......... just keep watching people, and you'll see. Or look for the guy in the corner who is also watching........... | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:21:42 PM | | yeah i know we do but i see it more in men... ...not alot of chicks i know do that cuz they don't want it done to them... | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:26:02 PM | you are bloody telling me...i am just hoping you know there are men out there who are not like that...i am like 6 months prego and no one wants me or to even get to know me because of that and it is sad... ...oh well i will live... | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:26:57 PM | There is cheaters,and players,and people who are always looking for,or at.
Then there is people who have no concerne for other peoples feelings.It's sad but that's the way it is. | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:47:03 PM | | I would have to suggest taking a look at nature,yes the animal kingdom.I was down at our local harbor not to long ago,watching a school of some kind of small harbor fish.What caught my attention and held it was this one very aggressive little fish that was chasing all the other little fish.After several minutes of this ,the aggressive little fish found what clearly was to be his mate.He separated her from the group and cornered her in a little indentation in a cliff type area and there the chase ended.They just floated very still and very close to one another.Moral of the story?the aggressive fish gets to mate with whom ever and however many he choses.Us non-aggressive fish are stuck with great German porn and some darn fine sex toys. | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:53:00 PM |
Us non-aggressive fish are stuck
watching fish get it on..?
yup this is mostly an age related issue, and a sign of our times.
*swimming deep, in warm water. | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/28/2007 9:38:17 PM | Us non-aggressive fish are stuck
Not always necessarily true. A less aggressive fish has captivated this fishette very recently. I became very interested, and saw him outside of the "group".
The ones that are simply being themselves, not everyone sees them. You know they are there. You are capivated by their energy, mind, that look in their eyes.
My point being more often than not it is the less aggressive that I notice over the aggressive. I guess he has in a sense cornered me in that little indentation in that cliff type area.
Not all men are a**es. I have proof. Keep your eyes open for the less obvious.
They just floated very still and very close to one another
the way I say goodbye after a very long fabulous second "date" | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/28/2007 10:19:08 PM | welcome to the wonderful world of 'smorgasbord' dating !
I'd rather be single than on a long list of other 'dishes' a persons gotta try first before they make a decision.
Good point, Country.
Being single, is also by choice, not by chance, and it is not all that bad, either, in fact it is a lot of fun.
Good part about it tho, your not someone else's second choice.
Yet ya get to watch from the sidelines, who would possibly be YOUR best choice, if there is still one to approach after the malee is all done.
If not, move on.
As they say, NEXT. | |
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swirly
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Joined: 12/3/2006
Msg: 13 | |
| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/28/2007 10:38:31 PM | Well, I would say that it may be that they are not actually together, but just friends. I have often gone out (to the bar, or whatever) with female friends I have known for many years, and we are close.
They are usually the ones encouraging me to go after women. And getting irate if I choose someone who does not meet their own high standards.
I'm not saying it doesn't happen, because I know it does, and have seen it happen (And know personally some of these fickle men). I would just like to believe that not all of them are ignorant louts. Just most of them. | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/29/2007 12:41:55 AM | Hi MizzUnderstood!
At times what we see is not really what is happening....unless you know these people...and yes, what you say, happens to both men and women....sad..
I have seen some real strange things happen at parties etc......at times it is a group of family members, wedding parties etc...different couples going every where.....
Personally, it has never happened to me. It would be crushing for a person to experience that.....but I say, 'The sooner the better'...it hurts... Some people lack respect!
Hope you are okay....(((hugs)))
0:)
(edit) -good news is not all men are like | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/29/2007 12:43:50 AM | | Ok...first question...how the heck did we go from men to fish?...lol like seriously people...lol and yeah i know the difference between different sexes going as friends and going as a couple...it jsut makes me so mad that men allwayz do that to poor women...lead them on and then leave them high and dry...like seriously do you men not have any brains or soemthing...lol | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/29/2007 1:01:23 AM | *mizzunderstood*!
It unfortunately happens to both men and woman, of leading each other on.
It is not right, but, it does happen.
The only thing to do about it, is learn form it, move on, and learn to beable to idetify it again, before it happens again.
The worse thing that ya can do, is to carry it around with ya, cuz it is like carrying around unwanted, dead weight that ya don't need.
Why!
Because, it just drags ya down, and prevents ya from moving onward, and forward.
Therefore, by leaving the unfortunates far, far behind, frees ya.
And ya will feel much better for doing so.
I hope that helps ya. | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:57:31 AM | First off.. you hang in there sweety, and Enjoy that little bundle when he/ she gets here in a couple months.. I had my first baby at exaclty your age, and the father was ummmmm as you say.. an arrogant, selfish, nasty,cheater, wrapped up in himself man. I toughed it out for years, and two beautiful sons later, till he thankfully got a job in another province and having him gone for 6 months, made me realize.. hmmmmm i'm better off without him.. It gave me my sence of self back and the backbone to demand more of myself in a relationship. ANYHOOOO to get back on the topic.. He was also 20 when we had our first, i don't think he will ever mature in the way I had too when my child was born. It's just apples and oranges for some men. I've witnessed the amazing men, that are hands on, co=parents, and also the ones who like to come home from work, play on the floor with them for an hour, ignore their parnter because they feel their needs are more important. I think it just boils down to respect for others and self. Some men (AND WOMEN) are shallow, selfish, and plain nasty when it comes to others feelings. But damn.. theres just as many beautiful loving caring men, and you just have to hold in there for one to find you lurking on the sidelines. I am a firm believer in what you send out into the universe is exactly what you will recieve.
I have a friend from POF , and we were having a conversation the other day. He is the above typical NICE GUY, and is constantly feeling like he's getting (#&$ on by women. Bascially can't cut a break in the love department. We started talking aboutt he people where life just seems to come so easily for them, and in some cases, (our ex's) are not that nice of people, who just seem to have life handed on a silver platter? It feels sometimes that the nastier you treat people, the more rewards you reap in life. We of course made a joke about our new years reslolutions to be more EVIL (GRIN) this year, and by next year baby, living in the lap of luxioury. lol | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/29/2007 5:50:06 AM | | Some men can complete @ssholes, but some are real sweethearts . . . When you find a good one hold onto him for dear life | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/29/2007 6:35:09 AM | Just a reminder girls,,,YOU picked your child's father,,,not any of US. And in saying that,,,,I picked my ex as my child's mother.
What's my point???? Well, if you don't like someone's(men or women) actions, than don't hang around or be part of their life. Sounds simple cause,,,,,well,,,,,,it is. Men can be shallow because some let them be. Men can be cold hearted because there always seems to be another around the corner waiting for the same crap to be dealt to them.
There are good men and women out there,,,just the weeding out is taking more and more time nowadays. | |
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chinua
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Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 20 | |
| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/29/2007 8:43:03 AM | when you're 6 months pregnant; why are you even looking for men? if it was me, i'd be concentrating on that baby!!! If you were a guy, would you be interested? especially the young ones..........
and some the posters are right; there are men who have been screwed around; there are some very bitter ones on this site.
BTW; they are talking about fish- because this site is called...........Plenty Of Fish | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/29/2007 8:48:21 AM | | I don't believe it's only men, women do behave the same way too they tend to be more subtle about it, but still do it. Age, maturity, place he/she is in his/her life I believe all play factors into it. And for the ones that never grow out of it - men or women - will come to realize one day (maybe even too late) that they are missing out by not being in a loving committed and devoted relationship. | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/29/2007 8:57:54 AM | I am assuming you were at a bar or pub... somewhere with alchohol. First off.. the first woman has no self respect, and shouldn't have been throwing herself at a man like that.. unless they were together..TOGETHER. I fail to see how that ruined her night.. She should be jumping for joy that she didn't go home with that @SS, and I would have felt really bad for the girl who did... I wonder where else he's been... SHEESH (ikk) The second woman... GOOD ON YA GIRL..paper plates BABY!!! (wink wink) any self respecting woman would do the same thing. I DO disaggree with you in the men being shallow and or cold hearted... some may be like that, but most are not and do actually value the company of a "GOOD" woman. I have found that if you respect yourself.. give respect and expect to be treated with it.. That's pretty much what you get  | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/29/2007 10:32:23 AM | | Would you all SHHHHHUT UPPP! yah every guy is shallow and cold hearted based on the losers and idiots YOUUUU chose to be around. Either up your standards or quit whining and generalizing every male on the planet. But of course writing this makes me cold hearted and shallow.. So i'm gonna say ALL women YES ALL like being with low lifes that treat them bad | |
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| Are men shallow or just cold hearted?
Posted: 1/29/2007 10:39:53 AM | Never attribute to malice what is best put to ignorance. Some advice given to me long ago and is very important to remember. Very few people are truly malicious, most are just really stupid and simply are following desires and instincts and not considering the rammifications of their actions. I ahve been on both sides of the coin, done things that upset a partner cause i was ignorant to their feelings and vice versa. We only know what we tell eachother.
Especially since you dont know the background, dont let it get to you. However, things like that do happen and some people are jerks...Plain and simple. The numbers are equal between men and women. Typically, people feel justified in being that way because of some past indiscretion against them. I have seen many women screw guys around and vice versa, it tends to be worse at your age group as they are just learning relationships and not ready to settle.
Dont let them get to you tho, cause really, they dont care. The only person who feels bad about it is you. Instead, realise the behaviors of those who act like that and dont deal with them. As we learn who we are and who we are becoming we all make mistakes that sometimes hurt our partners. Whether it be wanting a night out with friends and inadvertantly making the other feel ditched or a snippy comment. Instead of focusing on problems, focus on solutions. It sounds very floofy, but it really is a huge difference in perception. Instead of worrying about people that are like that, figure out how to avoid them.
As for non aggressive fish not making it anywhere.... There is a fine line between non aggression and apathy. Being brutish is never good, but neither is being passive. People want to be loved, people want to be desired and you need to let them know this existentially-that is to say thru your actions. Whether a smirk and eye contact, an occasional innuendo or any matter of things. Passion needs to be invoked and stirred up in eachother. If someone does not feel like you desire them, they wont be interested; who wants to feel like they just accepted you rather than they want to be with you more than anything. Just my $0.02 | |
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