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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ECG_1974
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 1
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
A friend of mine is sleeping with an engaged man, and I find the whole scenario fascinating....

So why would a man do this to someone he supposedly 'loves'?

Anyone?

I cant' give good advice on this, but he does seem like a nice guy, not a scum bag.

He told her he was engaged and she still slept with him.....
 good_kind
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 2
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 6:57:04 PM
They're both idiots not worth talking about.






Guy
 ECG_1974
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 3
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 6:59:48 PM
Well, idiots or no, I plan on getting engaged once I meet a nice guy.

But this guy really seems to love his fiancee and I just wonder how he can love someone and still sleep with another woman. I mean, he could have lied about it, right?

So many men do...

I find the concept fascinating, and I would like to investigate how men can do this because I really would dread being buddy's fiancee and having my man who I thought was being faithful doing that to me....
 Blondeamazon
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 4
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:00:16 PM
EGG
But this guy really seems to love his fiancee and I just wonder how he can love someone and still sleep with another woman.

Well its seems obvious he does not love her otherwise he would not be in someone elses bed.

Unless of course they had an open relationship and it was agreed between the two to do so. But from your post i am guessing that is not the case.
 singleguy64
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 5
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:19:08 PM

But this guy really seems to love his fiancee and I just wonder how he can love someone and still sleep with another woman.


"He *seems* to love his fiancee" (he doesn't, if he's cheating on her).
"how can he love someone and still sleep with another woman?" (see my prior comment).


I really would dread being buddy's fiancee and having my man who I thought was being faithful doing that to me.


And if he did, would *you* think that he actually loved you?
 Jameseroo
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 6
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:25:15 PM
Oh he probably really does love his fiancee .. but clearly lacks self control or respect for his relationship.

People are very needy and greedy, so having a fiancee fulfills many aspects of what is desired from this individual but not all. This is where the cheating comes in to play - it is desire driven behavior which seeks selfish gratification.

Maybe I am a bit harsh in my appraisal of the situation though I think my argument has some merit.
 singleguy64
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 7
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:26:25 PM
Oh, add to that:

"I find the concept fascinating"

I don't. I find it very disturbing, this is kind of guy that gives us honest *real* men a bad reputation. I find nothing "facinating" about someone lying, cheating, and obviously being incapable of being honest and faithful to another human being. It isn't about love, its all about selfishness. And I pity her if they do get married, because he'll be cheating on her in the marriage too.

edit: ^^ Jameseroo:

"Oh he probably really does love his fiancee"
"having a finacee fulfills many aspects of what is desired"

No, he doesn't love her, he loves having those "many aspects fulfilled" (his needs).
Thats not love.
 AAARRG!
Joined: 8/21/2006
Msg: 8
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:39:59 PM
I find the concept of having a friend that has so little self respect of herself that she has to screw a guy who is engaged fasinating.

So many women do too...


But this guy really seems to love his fiancee and I just wonder how he can love someone and still sleep with another woman. I mean, he could have lied about it, right?


He can love his fiance and sleep with your "friend" just as easy that a woman can do the same thing without feelings.

He could have lied about it, right? Sure he could have. But why? She obviously has no problems with giving it up to him. So why would he lie? She sounds like a ho, and there's no reason to lie to a ho.

We all dread being with the "one" only to find out she/he is cheating. AaaahhhDUH! This is what some "People" do.

Thinking it's only limited to guys cheating on their fiance or "friends" screwing someone who is otherwise taken, shows some people are not in touch with reality.

While your investigating, men who cheat. You might as well investigate, why women cheat.
 rejectingall
Joined: 1/24/2007
Msg: 9
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Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:47:17 PM
He's a man-slut.

Hopefully you told his fiance' about it. She deserves to know so she can dump his useless butt.

I have heard too many stories about guys that fool around before thier weddings. It seems to be considered normal now.

I've even heard of the maid of honor giving the groom a quickie 5 min before the wedding service. Real class act there...

(and we need more of these smiley/emoticon thingies to show disgust...)
 Nos800id
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 10
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History
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:50:34 PM
This is horrible and both of them should be flogged in a bad way. Her for going through with it and not having enough self-respect to find a guy thats not going to use her and him for being so dishonest/untrustworthy/wrong just think how his fiance is going to feel once she finds out if she ever does or how your friend is going to feel when she gets pregrant with a engaged mans baby.
 Subotai
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 11
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:51:32 PM
^^^^^^

yup that was my first thought!

Is it not somewhat ironic (or some other word) that your concern about male morality doesnt seem to connect with your "female" friends sensibilities..

as for Why do "people" cheat?

Simple...they are kinda selfish and think first of themselves and then about whatever "promises" of marriage and/or monogamy..

Ya you can insert all the other excuses about its his wife or her husband that drove someone to cheat but thats so lame as its not even worth saying.."dude thats a lame excuse"..

...cause no one can make you do anything...you choose to.

No wait, if penolope cruz reads this and wants to come by tonight...

"you can make me do anything you want"...


Penolope Cruz: "anything?"

Subotai: "ya babe..just name it..."

Penolope Cruz:"get me a sandwich"


"Huh? Wha?...hmmm..."



women?....go figure..
 Doouglass
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 12
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:55:12 PM

So why would a man do this to someone he supposedly 'loves'?

I think it's possible to love yet still have sexual attraction for another woman and ACT on that sexual attraction.
I'm sure you've caught yourself eyeballing another man, even whilst you're dating. Perhaps you'd do the same under the watchful eye of god while engaged?

Seems this guy took it one step further... essentially if he'll do it to her, he'll do it to your friend, at least he's letting one lady know the deal as far as you know.
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 13
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 7:59:55 PM

but he does seem like a nice guy, not a scum bag.
you're confused, he's a scum bag

I plan on getting engaged once I meet a nice guy.
ok you want to be engaged to a "nice guy" like this one?

But this guy really seems to love his fiancee
incorrect.
OP, you're confused. A man who "cheats" on his fiancee is a scumbag, and I doubt he loves his fiancee if he is cheating on her.

Why do guys cheat on their fiancees? Because they are cheaters of little character. Or maybe they are man candy and women stick like how sweet they taste. I'll stick with "little character".
 bigbluec
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 14
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:01:56 PM
Thats just messed up, if he can cheat on his fiance then he will for sure cheat on her when they are married, that realtionship WILL end in a divorce.
 Nos800id
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 15
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History
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:02:37 PM
^^^^

I forgot to mention that anyone who Cheats, has no respect or Love for there S.O. and is also a coward for not breaking it off with them.
 gotphish?
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 16
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:10:24 PM
Probably the girl he's sleeping with looks better than his fiancee. Or his fiancee is butt ugly and needs a real woman to satisfy his needs. Other than that there isn't any other reasons.
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 17
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 8:12:18 PM
he isnt doing anything to someone he loves......

He just isnt being faithful to her.
 ECG_1974
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 18
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 9:09:08 PM
Well, this has been an interesting topic to open up. Thanks for the replies!

My friend (and there is a friend, I'm not that pathetic - but I've known her for years and she never acts like this) anyhow she IS a nice person, a huge heart, and maybe she's just been single too long and I guess she got carried away by him being hot or whatnot.

She had a crush on him a long time before she made her interest known, and he did tell her from the get-go that he was engaged, I guess her hormones must have gotten to her.
He's been trying to break her for a while now, even though she said her values said no. I guess hormones sometimes take over.

Anyhow, after reading all of this, you are all right. He's a scumbag, he just seems nice. I guess he's a good actor. I think he will marry his fiancee and just leave her when the wedding date gets closer. I hope she does not get pregnant, hopefully! She says they are using condoms.

I too believe that he does not love his fiancee. I just wonder what his actual real relationship must be like for him to have such blatant disregard for the feelings of his soon to be wife. It's not my job to tell her, I don't know him OR her, and I'm staying out of it.
 ascuteasabug
Joined: 8/8/2003
Msg: 19
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 9:41:14 PM
"Probably the girl he's sleeping with looks better than his fiancee. Or his fiancee is butt ugly and needs a real woman to satisfy his needs. Other than that there isn't any other reasons."

That kind of comment is TOTALLY uncalled for. Cheating has nothing to do with looks, it has everything to do with being selfish. If you saw some of the people other end up cheating with, you would just shake your head and walk away.

Now OP, this man is not "nice". He is using your friend - pure and simple. She needs to seperate herself from him and get one of those sincerely "nice" men that are out there.
 AAARRG!
Joined: 8/21/2006
Msg: 20
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 10:01:24 PM

Anyhow, after reading all of this, you are all right. He's a scumbag, he just seems nice. I guess he's a good actor. I think he will marry his fiancee and just leave her when the wedding date gets closer. I hope she does not get pregnant, hopefully! She says they are using condoms.


She's a HO!!! And he's a scumbag.

Who cares who he marries or how good of an actor he is. She must have been quite the idiot to fall for that line of shit.

This is just pathetic! On on so many levels.
 MDNinja
Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 21
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 10:05:42 PM

But this guy really seems to love his fiancee and I just wonder how he can love someone and still sleep with another woman. I mean, he could have lied about it, right?

So many men do...

I find the concept fascinating, and I would like to investigate how men can do this because I really would dread being buddy's fiancee and having my man who I thought was being faithful doing that to me....


He doesn't love is fiancee, he loves his relationhip with her. I read a book that had a few chapters on why guys cheat. Basically it's because they are impulsive and they value the relationship more than the people in it.
 singleguy64
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 22
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 10:08:10 PM

She had a crush on him a long time before she made her interest known, and he did tell her from the get-go that he was engaged, I guess her hormones must have gotten to her.
He's been trying to break her for a while now, even though she said her values said no. I guess hormones sometimes take over.


Ah, excellent excuse.

So, I guess when you finally meet that guy you want to marry, and he cheats and says "the hormones just took over and got the better of me", that'd be a good excuse, and you'd forgive him for it? And the 2nd time, and the 3rd time... and, oh hell, why not just have an "open marriage" at that point, and you can both excuse yourselves from screwing anyone you want by saying "I guess the hormones just took over".

Obviously the hormones run your life, the "little brain" in his d**k and her p***y. Heck, the real brain obviously has no control over our actions then!

The little brain may feel the desire, its still the *big brain* that makes the decisions.
"Her values said no", gee.. guess her values don't mean that much to her then.
 all urz
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 23
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 10:54:48 PM
After reading this whole topic with y'all saying he's a this and that or that he doesn't love his fiancee...

First, i think cheating has nothing to do with love. We are raised in the patern of getting in couple with total fidelity and maybe someday get married, just like some european and african countries are raised accepting that one man can have many wifes... So we act in consequenses of what the society we live in is teaching us, so our minds are programmed to do so. I'm not saying it's right to cheat, but not saying it's wrong either. Just questioning our perceptions.. Don't get me wrong, when i find someone i love i'm very passionate and more loyal than a dog to it's master. But i think that's why independent people are more into making "convenience" couple than finding " love", just less dramas and more freedom. It's sad to think that some people will never get to feel the power of love, but it's definitly less trouble. Is it a form of selfishness ? Could be... but i'll stop there 'cause i'm getting off topic lol
 ascuteasabug
Joined: 8/8/2003
Msg: 24
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 10:56:26 PM
This isn't about hormones at all, it is about denial and wishful thinking. Your friend probably has not admitted to you that she is harboring the hope that this guy will realize that it is really your friend that he is in love with and will leave his fiancée. Usually when someone realizes this what really happened is that they got caught and dumped. If this guy left his fiancee for your friend, would either of them be able to trust the other? No - they BOTH were involved in deceit.
 couldusecompany
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 25
Why do guys cheat on their fiancees?
Posted: 1/28/2007 11:06:57 PM
Firstly, please don't generalize "guys". Not all of us do this. I would venture to guess most of us do not.

It's bad enough to cheat on your S.O., but to do it when you are engaged is that much worse. This guy might be nice overall, but really - it's a thin facade. He has little respect for others (and her) if he is going to do this to her. The two of them getting married at this point is a huge mistake, and I guarantee you that he won't think twice about doing it after they are married either. This marriage will not last, and is going to cause her a ton of heartache.

This shit makes me sick. I shake my head at what people will willingly do to others.
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