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 dsfasdasdg
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 1
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I'm curious. What would be the best way to introduce yourself to someone. When you contact a person throught POF, how much should you say to the other person. Are you ok by just say "Hi, how are you?" or do you have to add more details like "I think you and I are a good match..." something like that. What type of contacts do you respond back to?
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 2
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A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 12:01:14 PM
Introduce yourself properly.
Give her more than a boring one liner.
Don't use "copy and paste" messages, that could be sent to anyone. Write something that shows you read her profile, and paid attention.
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 12:13:52 PM
Some will respond to your picture, only. Others will read your profile, apply the proper weight to the way you represent yourself, then decide based on the combination. If you have nothing in common with the people you are contacting? You are wasting your time.

Most people, male or female, accept the reality that they shouldn't 'lead on' a person for whom they possess no physical attraction. Some people will forego the physical attraction and allow the beauty of a persons soul to override any physical shortcomings.

I'm just a guy, though, what do I know?
 a3hourtour
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 4
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:03:48 PM
As a girl, I thought I'd jump in here.
Besides, it means I get to postpone grading some papers, so.....

When a guy drops me one line, especially if it is filled with silly misspellings, and it says essentially NOTHING about him; I am not likely to respond.

To qualify that: I intend to respond; I want to be polite, after all; but somehow, the response just keeps getting put off and eventually, the email falls off the bottom of the list.

So what would I respond to? And I have to believe this applies to most women, which is why I am posting this-

Intelligent and witty banter. Something that gives me a feel for who you are.
Be clever.
Be smart.
Be funny and most importantly: be genuine.
 TheDancingQueen
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 5
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:23:54 PM
My opinion is to have a very well written profile, take a good photo and try to write something interesting and different.

If you don't take any time to make a good profile, then there's a good chance you won't make the time or effort on anything else either.

The nice things about photos is you can take as many as you want and pick the best out of them. Lots of people just use a camera phone and take a grainy fuzzy shot of themselves in sweatpants and a dirty T shirt. I don't think there is an excuse to not take the most flattering photo you can.

If you are writing a person who gets alot of emails, it probably helps to write something that stands out of the crowd. Too many guys think a good email must = a long email. That's not always true.

I really think it's about effort and making a good first impression and a good presentation.
 dsfasdasdg
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 6
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:39:37 PM
thats great input, lets have some more
 duff2006
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 7
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:39:53 PM
Good topic. So do you (women) actually read the email or do you make the decision off the subject line??? I ask this because i've heard both answer and always wondered if i should put more thaugth into my subject line
 SareeG
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 8
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:42:57 PM
I always read the emails that are sent to me, regardless of the subject line. Mind you, I'm not going to be impressed if there's something rude in subject line....
 dsfasdasdg
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 9
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:45:47 PM
oh but not in the subject like
i'm talking about the message box
say i send you this

"Hi, how are you today?"

What do you think about this, does this say i'm really not interested in communicating with you. How do you interpret this? I would that if this was sent to a guy, a guy would take as "oh she's trying to meet me."
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 10
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A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:48:41 PM
I'd figure she'd see it as you not bothering to read her profile... because you otherwise would have commented on it.
And possibly that you're doing the old "shotgun" technique. Basically firing off the same simple message quickly to as many women as you can, and seeing who bothers to respond.
 dsfasdasdg
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 11
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:51:02 PM
i guess but even after you read the whole profile, do you focus on her interest. Similar to that on monster where you try to match your resume with the job description.
 duff2006
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 12
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:53:05 PM
i know when i write a first email i always comment on whatever it was int he profile that caught my eye. On the other side i've never received an email form a women saying anything more than just hi.
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 13
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A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:54:09 PM
Well, best things to focus on are those you actually know about.
So if there's shared interests, those a good start.
Also, comment on a thing or two you might have read in the profile (like backround, friends, etc)... something that shows you actually read it. And didn't just look at her list of interests.
 rederer1
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 14
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:57:26 PM
name, date, serial number.
 SareeG
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 15
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 3:57:41 PM
I get annoyed when someone sends me the "hey, how are you" message. If you want to talk to a girl, at least have something to talk to her about. That's my biggest pet peeve...it's in my profile and I've mentioned in the forums at least once.
 TheDancingQueen
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 16
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 4:01:41 PM
I do think it's a two-way street.

You have to give the person some kind of "in" to talk about.

I see people with barren profiles who seem to get upset that they aren't getting a 10 page email. Well what are you giving them to work with honestly?

So I think it's a balance. It's important to try to write something that leaves a good impression, but it's also important to figure out who is not giving you half a chance to talk about something interesting.
 dsfasdasdg
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 17
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 4:15:40 PM
ok, but I know you women are initially responding to the guy in the pic. If you don't find the guy attractive but he writes something wonderful. Would you still respond?
 Wish4
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 18
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A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 4:20:27 PM
Definitely. Pictures can be deceiving. I reserve the looks judgement for when I actually meet them in person.

But if he doesn't catch my attention with his profile, I doubt we will ever get to that point.

Oh, yeah, and make sure you spell her name correctly. I can deal with some typos and spelling mistakes, but if you can't be bothered to get my name right, forget it.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 19
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A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 4:21:28 PM
^^^OP ~ sadly no, most don't respond if they aren't attracted to the picture(s.) It's a visual world apparently. As for responding just because something in the email promotes interest, yes, I think that happens. I just don't know how often. I guess it depends on the woman. JMO
 dsfasdasdg
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 20
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 4:32:34 PM
Hi,

I was reading you profile and I can see that we share many interests. Well, let me tell you a little bit about myself. I'm a young engineer trying to make it in this big competative world. I like to laught and have fun with my friends. I'm looking for new people I can get to know and possible become friends with.


How's that!
Can that work?
Is it too short? too long? Am i missing something?
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 21
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A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 5:20:20 PM
^^^It's a little cut-and-pasty, but very nice. I think maybe just reading HER profile and writing something like the above, combined with reference to something in her profile that you actually have in common would work a little better. OH, and humor usually works well.

I am not good at this whole dating stuff, there are a LOT of posters in the Profile Review threads that would probably give you some great advice. Maybe look in there for someone that you like their profile advice and write to them for ideas. Good luck.
 oursong
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 22
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 5:24:02 PM
If you find a profile that you want to respond to... read what they have to say and pick a question. It doesn't have to be anything long or deep, just something that shows the other person that you've seen their profile and were interested.

Instead of commenting on something physical, or saying the usual "hi, how are you" pick something like a unique user name, an interesting date idea or anything in the WRITTEN profile that caught your attention. Once you pick the idea, ask you about it.

Leaving a question is more likely to lead to a response and I always assume that a response means that I haven't scared the other person away. If messages continue, think of it as a good thing and take it from there.
 ant1ers
Joined: 5/12/2004
Msg: 23
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 8:29:33 PM
What works for me is having a standard greeting, and then modifying it based on the profile in question. Using your example:

Hi,

I was reading you profile and I can see that we share many interests. Well, let me tell you a little bit about myself. I'm a young engineer trying to make it in this big competative world. I like to laught and have fun with my friends. I'm looking for new people I can get to know and possible become friends with.


would become:

Hi,

I was reading you profile and noticed that you're also a huge Sugarland fan. I'd love talking about country music with someone in the area - there's not many of us here in LA! Just to give you an idea of who this guy writing you is, I'm a young engineer trying to make it in this big competative world. I like to laugh and have fun with my friends. Looking forward to chatting with you.


Of course, I may be totally wrong. Ladies, feel free to comment away if it isn't what you're looking for.
 dsfasdasdg
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 24
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 8:42:58 PM
man that was perfect
 aaron-613
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 25
A proper way of introducing yourself to a girl on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2007 9:06:54 PM
Interesting topic... I find it somewhat odd when I write a couple nice sentences, only to have the message deleted (fair enough), then I'll send a quick "Hi, my name is Aaron, give me a shout if you want to chat" to somebody else, and I get a reply.

I've only been on POF for a few weeks, but I try to gauge my msgs based on how long their profile is. In the end who knows what's going to work... both sides have to see something in the profile/pictures that interests them. I dunno maybe I'm wrong here???
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