| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 3:14:42 AM | I dare say we all know someone male of female that has been attacked by a partner ,and the excuse they have given has been " Oh he/she was drunk and wasn't in control of their feelings or temper "
Now I detest men that lay even a finger on a woman ,whether provoked or unprovoked .
Some thing ive had to deal with as a youngster in a bad marital parental home .
How do you all feel about this subject ?
If there are anyone who has hit a woman I'd like to hear the reason why and what put you over the edge .. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 3:24:01 AM | | Being drunk is never an excuse for anything. End of debate in my humble opinion. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 3:38:38 AM | | I have never hit a woman, but being drunk is an excuse. To me a man that hits a woman is bad, but sometimes you may have to shake one, you know the shoulders thing or hold her down if she is swiinging at you wildly, but I don't think hitting a woman is the best way. JUst walk away without saying anything. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 3:55:09 AM | | Drink peels away the veneer of civility that we all maintain and lays bare the true animal beneath. If somebody is a mean drunk, they are a mean person at heart. My ex asked me if I would ever hit her. I said "Only if you hit me". Neither ever hit the other. Which is the way it should be. Women shouldn't hit men, either. Barbaric behavior, no matter who does it. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 3:57:10 AM | To me being drunk is Never a excuse.
If you are not able to control yourself when drunk... Then don't get drunk you "f()cked up" when you took the first drink. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 3:59:42 AM | There is no excuse for anyone touching another person with angry intent. Under the law this is an assault. Male or female. Yes females can be just as aggressive.
Out of control Drinking and anger are two very different issues.
One is an addiction the other is a psycological disorder.
What's behind the drinking and what's behind the anger?
What gives anyone the right to take their issues out on someone else.
Using drinking to hide behind as an excuse for the angry outbursts is a coward with a smoke screen.
If you allow them to get away with this you become the victim because you have condoned it. Those unaware of co-dependant relationships and the effect it has on the people around the drinking angry abuser will become a part if the cycle.
Its usually followed by the honey moon period after. Where the angry drinker tries to uphold their calm, I'm a real good person routine. They make you feel real sorry and sad for them. If you love them they have you because the natural thing to do is to stay and want to help them get through this. You become their crutch and their target.
Anyone involved should remove themselves from the situation as soon as possible.
The angry drinker will never admit the problems or issues until they are really ready. Even then they often return to the drinking and angry emotions to avoid dealing with it.
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 4:12:19 AM | It is not an excuse. In fact attacking or hitting someone is a way if trying to get control through fear and overpowering them.
Whenever they say they lost control- they are simply not owning the responsability of their actions. That is a sign of more ( and worse) to come.
Q | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 4:13:42 AM | If booze (or dope) has that much power over a person, that person has a bigger problem than booze (or dope) It's an excuse alright - an extremely bad one.
Steve | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 4:32:53 AM | "There is a time for war, there is a time for peace."
I use to agree that another should not raise their hand to another to do harm, especially in anger. However, life has taught me that you have to sometimes. I am not talking about the times when you got angry at what someone said, but to strike someone to defend yourself. If a man or woman were to threaten my life, those of the ones I love, or in the defense of another, I would happily bring down my most savage nature to dispatch them. And sometimes, a man or woman who does push too hard, at the wrong time, are asking for it, even if they did not expect it. BUT I DO NOT SUPPORT JUST CUTTING LOOSE BECAUSE YOU ARE ANGRY AND SHE OR HE IS A NAG!!!! I am just saying I understand that each human has his and her limits and then the beast within is released. I should know, there have been times in a fight where I could see myself chocking someone with my barehands because, he would not let me live my life without him bulling me or constantly plucking my nerves.
Drugs, alcohol, mental defeats are all perfectly reasonable explaination for why a person hits. Sometimes even parenting or lack there of can contribute to this. While I agree that alcohol does reveal some aspects of a person, don't forget, that person is truly not the same rational animal that holds those feelings back.
In short, before we get all high and mighty about what is right or wrong, take each situation as a separate entity, like common behaviors if the offense is repeated, and find ways to help that person to learn how to channel that aggression elsewhere and in a more positive direction. If you know you are pushing someone to the edge, BACK THE HELL DOWN! You may get what you deserve. If you have to drink until your drunk (for fun or otherwise) and/or the person around you does, maybe you should really think about why must you do that to yourself/they do that to themselves, are you REALLY ready to deal with the consequences of self-induced loss of control? And finally, we ALL have that violent side, some are better at controlling than others, just don't be too quick to judge without getting wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 5:01:33 AM | I think most of the answers I expected wouldn't condone this behaviour .
I have over the years talked about this subject with various people .dark & romantic has brought up a valid point about the nagging man or women and the tolerance that sometimes has to be used to restrain a person from lashing out when your near to busting .
Ive had to restrain myself from fighting men that have provoked me .Thankfully Ive never been attacked by a woman or been so provoked Ive raised a hand .
I can see that there maybe some that once past a certain point there is no return and BANG its happened ..
How ever I put into practice once the defusing of anger ..asking why the other person wanted to hit me ,by the time they answered the question and thought about it there aggression had subsided .
I always have seen women as the fairer sex ,although there are some bruisers out there that could give me a kicking .
I can remember fighting with a girl at school bit bigger than me I have to say ..what the fk is all that hair pulling about ,it bloody well hurts  .
I'm in total agreement that if in a relationship where alchahol/drugs is a general problem then get the hell out ,men or women . | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 9:40:37 AM | Ive never hit a woman and i never will do i think men who do are cowards and the lowest form of life
but when a woman has really made me really angry i use the power of words and the truth to get my point across quietly and clearly
the saying sticks and stones...is bullsh-it and besides bruises heal words and the truth and just getting someone to think about their actions
can have a much longer lasting effect
i used to go out with a girl when i was 16 who used to enjoy trying to beat me up and when i left her she was really upset and couldnt work out why
when i told her she finally realised what she was doing to me and just how sensitive i am as a human being | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 9:45:30 AM | Being drunk is never a good excuse. Those who believe otherwise are merely deluding themselves.
Drunk or sober you are still responsible for your actions and words. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 9:55:29 AM | Everybody is different when it comes to alcohol. I have only one male that is actually a friend of mine and every other male I have any interaction with is either family, an ex, or someone I have a business relationship with.
My male friend can be at the bottom of his second gallon of homemade wine and still know exactly what's up. And I've yet to meet anyone who could actually pull one over on him whether he is drinking or not. All he has to say is one word and the whole situation is well under control. There are never any problems because he doesn't ever let a person make a problem.
But he can go without any booze for extended periods of time or drink three times a week and it makes no difference to him. His rent is always paid and he takes care of everything he needs to do.
My last boyfriend would throw his whole life off kilter and end up homeless, jobless etc. even if he was only drinking 2 beer per night. He needed the alcohol everyday. If he was down to only 2 it usually meant he'd gotten just enough credit to pace himself till he got more cash.
He was highly volitile when he was on a binge and would lash out at me regardless of why I was approaching him. I only came to realize this over time. And it didn't matter that I wasn't struck. If a person is coming at you and all their body language says they are going to hit you, it really doesn't matter if you outdance them and they miss or change their mind. It's as if they hit you anyhow. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 9:57:55 AM | being drunk is never an excuse. i have know my share of woman friends too who have become violent towards their mate when they were drunk. i agree when you are drunk you are much less inhibited and i think sometimes it brings out a true side of people. i lived with an alcohic for many years, he never laid a hand on me but the real "him" would come out when he was drunk. rage is a scary thing when it cannot be checked. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 10:20:59 AM | Sure people will use being drunk as an excuse, they will excuse themselves of violence, neglect, insults, bad behaviour, tardiness....there is not lack of what they will use drunkenness as an excuse for.
Is it an acceptable excuse? Hell no.....neither is being stoned or being in an altered state.
Sure there are drug addicts and alcoholics who would feign addiction as the reason for their escape from reality. Sadly, it is still their choice and they could have made different ones, they also can still choose different ones. Sure they might be more difficult choices, sure they might require commitment and accepting personal responsibility it is still an option that is there and a choice that they make every moment of every day.
Therefore, you are drunk and you beat up another, you are drunk and you rob a store, you are drunk and you murder your brother.......you pay the penalty for your actions......that simply is no EXCUSE. No free ride on your actions and choices that you make.....you are responsible!! | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 10:30:42 AM |
I dare say we all know someone male of female that has been attacked by a partner ,and the excuse they have given has been " Oh he/she was drunk and wasn't in control of their feelings or temper "
Now I detest men that lay even a finger on a woman ,whether provoked or unprovoked .
Some thing ive had to deal with as a youngster in a bad marital parental home .
It is not an excuse when it comes to driving.
Why should it be an excuse for anything else?
Michael | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 10:33:20 AM | | No, it's not an excuse, but here's a tip for the victims of this type of abuse: Drunk people are easier targets when you want to crack 'em in the side of the face or keep them from continuing, so overpower 'em and don't put up with it! | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 10:41:58 AM | Being drunk isn't an excuse for any type of "bad" behaviors...
However, "abusive behaviors" are about control...as long as the "abuser" feels they are in control-they don't "abuse"; but as soon as they feel they are loosing control over the other person-drunk or not they will be abusive.
I am a survivor of domestic violence which included emotional, mental and physical abuse and one of the "lucky" ones as I survived with most of my "face" the way it was before and have gone on with my life.
Unless you've lived or experienced being in an abusive relationship including parents, siblings or a significant other, it's very difficult for the average person to understand the dynamics of the why it happens....why do people abuse and/or why do people stay with the abuser. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 10:43:28 AM | | Being drunk is never an excuses no matter who you are and not matter what the situation is. I mean if you can't can't control yourself drunk than you probably can't control yourself when you aren't drunk. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 10:43:37 AM | | Being drunk is never an excuses no matter who you are and not matter what the situation is. I mean if you can't can't control yourself drunk than you probably can't control yourself when you aren't drunk. | |
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diit
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Joined: 12/26/2006
Msg: 21 | |
| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 10:48:40 AM | Being drunk is never an excuse. Drinking lowers inhibitions, and lets you do/say things that are inside you, but that you control when you're sober. Drinking does NOT create thoughts or actions that are not already inside the person.
Not an excuse. No way, no how, never. | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 11:39:24 AM | being drunk is just a lame excuse for abuse...........they know what they did but they don't wish to press on the issue anymore and wish to hide there actions instead of confussing on the situation............ | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 11:44:10 AM | I was severely abused by my first husband and every single time it was when he was drunk. He was always sorry the next day and couldn't remember even hitting me (so he said). There is never an excuse to hit anyone.........male or female and I know that they say women do it as well. Its just wrong..............100% of the time. Be the bigger person and walk away.............cool off! Losing your temper is just not cool at all!!! | |
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| Is being drunk an excuse?
Posted: 2/2/2007 11:47:12 AM |
How do you all feel about this subject ?
If a person can't control themselves when they drink then they need to control their drinking.
I'm sure that's easier said than done for some, but nothing says I have to put up with that person's stupid drunken @$$ either. | |
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