| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 2:47:13 AM | I can't be the only female that men generally don't ask to dance when out at a club or a plenty of fish forum event.
So guys, what stops you from asking women to dance? And what's with all the guys standing on the perimeter of the dance floor, all night, just watching?
I hope this isn't a redundant thread topic, I didn't find anything similar when I searched. | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 2:56:37 AM | ^ Your assuming I haven't and wouldn't. I was hoping to get a guy's perspective, not a question thrown back at me without anything attached.
edit:
Message #4 - Many of the guys I've asked, have told me they don't dance. If I somewhat know them, I generally get them out there by the end of the evening, but if I don't know them, I don't think anything of it, other then he is missing out on a whole lot of fun.
As far as rejection, I never turn down a dance with anyone unless the guy has been stalking me at the establishment, is physically inappropriate/familiar with me or other women I've seen him dance with (women he clearly doesn't know), or he has been leering at body parts....that's tasteless and gross.
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 2:56:53 AM | Afraid of rejection, or dislike of dancing.
If I've had enough to drink, I'll ask a girl to slow dance...but let me tell you, when maverick get's shot down it's rough...Guys don't like that rejection, so if we're not sure, we don't ask.
If you want to make your life easier, ask them - and deal with the possibility of rejection, but chance of dancing. :)
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Btw OP, it's just something about dances too. I mean, if you put me personally in front of a crowded room and asked me to give a speech, no problem what so ever. Put me on a dance floor, and I feel like the whole world is zoomed in. Same sort of thing when you get rejected, it's like everyone's aware of it, even if no one else is.
The last time I asked a girl to dance would be Halloween 2003. I danced with Monique (some random girl, she was wearing a maid outfit). Go figure. :p | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:44:51 AM | What stops me from asking a woman to dance? Well for starters I take after the rock and roll group genesis... "...I can't dance, I can't sing...." As a result of this however I don't go places and hang around dance floors either though. Guess I'll just have to try to make up for it in interesting conversation. :)
Laen
Stampeder #3 | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:46:03 AM | Real men don't dance...
All kidding aside, I can't dance. I've got no rhythm. I generally don't enjoy dancing. I will dance with a woman I know and like, but probably only a slow dance, and at that I won't be all over her. Close enough to be intimate, but not so close and grinding as to seem obscene. | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:51:42 AM | Ditto. I'd love to be able to dance. Most women love to dance, it looks a lot of fun. If I take to the dancefloor (rarely) someone genrally calls 911 (999 here in the UK)! If there are loads of guys not dancing, it's a 'brotherhood' on non-dancers supporting each other! Any guy that then ventures onto the dance floor has betrayed us! lol
Seriously, most guys would love to have the courage to ask you to dance, would love to be asked to dance, and would most probably want to be able to dance!
Don't see it as a rebuff - consider it the highest compliment... I like you enough not to totally humiliate you by taking to the dancefloor! | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 4:32:49 AM | Among the guys I know, it's not about being afraid of rejection. The women around here LOVE to dance. If you make the mistake of making eye contact with one, you are almost guranteed to get dragged out to the dance floor by the hand. So when you see a woman dancing and looking around, DONT LOOK HER IN THE EYE!! haha. ive made up all kinds of excuses not to dance. bad back, just had knee surgery, lol. once i had a women who wanted to dance SO bad, she literally would not take no for an answer. she tried to forcibly pull me out of the chair. i held onto the table but she was pretty strong, i finally had to basically sit on the ground. she just didnt get it. after all that _I_ was the jerk??
Seriously tho, I can't dance. I can only stand in one place and move a little bit, just like the movie hitch. Thats not really dancing, and it doesnt do anything for me. If there are a lot of people on the dance floor, and i can steer her away from the standing crowd, way way to the back corner, then ill dance with her. but no way will i EVER dance right at the edge, in front of the huge crowd that always gathers and watches the dancers. I guess thats pretty common judging by the OP, it happens here too. 60 women dancing, and 60 guys watching haha. Hey lets be honest women are nice to look at. Guys...not so much.
Besides not knowing how or having any rhythm, it just doesnt do anything for me. I know for women it helps them unwind, de-stress after a long day. its therapeutic for women. Its not for guys. We have different ways of relaxing. And its not dressing up and going to stand in a smoky bar thats filled to capacity and 130 degrees so we have sweat running down our backs, plus trying not to look stupid...nah, not very relaxing.
I forget which comedian it was, he had a joke about how you'll never hear a guy go up to his buddies and say 'you know what? i just have to dance tonight. i had such a bad day at work, i just HAVE to dance.' lol, so true.
Last night i was at a bar, and watched this cute girl go and drag a guy onto the dance floor. he went but reluctantly. shes having a ball, throwing her butt around, flailing her arms all over the place. he did what i do, step back and forth. he was only doing it so she didnt dance alone, he would not be out there under any other circumstances.
i think its something women will just have to get used to. dance alone, or with other women. on the off chance you get a guy up there with you chances are hes doing it to be nice, so dont question him why he doesnt look like hes having any fun.
obviously this rules out the 1 in 500 guys who does like to dance. but you werent asking about them. | |
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JWA
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Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 4:53:44 AM | Most white guys simply do NOT like dancing---it's as simple as that!! We know you women love it and that it's great for a million reasons but we still just do not like doing it!! If you get 10 men who post here they do enjoy dancing there are 90 more who won't post.
When I used to cruise the bars I knew the best way to become better acquainted with women was asking them to dance. I did it only for that reason and hated every minute of it. My buddies would stand around making fun of me BUT I was at least with a woman--not in a group of guys! LOL Booze can do wonderful things at times!! | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 5:09:50 AM | | If im at a club im always dancing. If you notice on the dance floor theres usually nothing but girls out there, Seems to be if your out there having fun not giving a rats ass girls will usually come up and make the first move. But if i do see someone who catches my eye then i make my way over to her, if she smiles then just say something stupid to make her laugh, then your in. | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 6:23:36 AM | I dont think men like dancing as much as women do, really.
But what you are describing is the flocking mentality. Happens all the time in the natural world. the beta animals flock together in a safe group to watch the females while two or three alphas proceed to exercize their alphaness and act like the male that they are. | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 6:42:09 AM | The type of dancing in the clubs now is this sort of spastic, dis-jointed, jerking rhythm that looks more like a grand mal epileptic seizure than any kind of real dancing.
Any self-respecting guy with any sense of dignity would never indulge in such an embarrassing activity.
However, swing and Latin dancing...now that's some real dancing and much more fun! Give me some hot merengue rhythms and I'll be out there on the dance floor in a skinny minute.
If you're not touching, you're not dancing. | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 6:49:17 AM | | It could be any various reasons.....some shallow reasons, some shy reasons, some fearful reasons, it might even be the fact that they can't really dance at all. Yet hang out at a dance club. Go fig. I'm sure many do ask women to dance still...but these are different times now...I've seen more women asking men to dance then the men ever do. Perhaps those men that don't ask are waiting for the woman to be the aggressor just to see if they are the one they want to dance with. | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 7:23:29 AM | Maybe they don't dance?
I guess i could probably be convinced to, but i would'nt really want to dance with a woman unless it's a romantic slow dance.Any other type of dancing, far as i'm concerned is for the women. | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 7:31:27 AM |
So guys, what stops you from asking women to dance? And what's with all the guys standing on the perimeter of the dance floor, all night, just watching?
If I am at a club, I tend not to ask a woman to dance... I guess b/c of a fear of rejection and also I hate barely being able to talk with the music blaring so loud.
However, I sometimes go to bars with swing dancing or salsa. When I go there, I ask women all the time. It's nice to know that many are there to dance with meeting someone secondary. Perhaps go to one of those places? (Nice wench dress by the way puppy love) | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 9:57:08 AM | In my case ?
Lack of talent....and a great respect for not wanting to inflict damage on innocent third parties....from either stepping on their feet, or causing them to keel over with laughter.
As I've mentioned before, turn on some good R&B/Motown....and I can out dance Micheal Jackson, James Brown.....ANYONE !
If only one other person sees me however, I instantly turn into a middle age white guy who is seemingly having a stroke.
The type of dancing in the clubs now is this sort of spastic, dis-jointed, jerking rhythm that looks more like a grand mal epileptic seizure than any kind of real dancing.
On the other hand, there may be hope on the horizon. I seem to fit right in. I just need to find one of THOSE clubs, and I shall be among my own kind at last. | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 10:20:27 AM | | I have no problem asking a woman to dance, I just don’t like certain dances is all. Now that said let me ask you something, of most all the women who post in these threads about how they don’t "need a man" to open doors, buy them dinner because they would rather pay their halves, why does the guy have to ask you or any other women to dance? Is this part of the courtship acceptable, or does a woman not want the rejection of being told no? I will make an observation, since I have friends that are girls,,, if these girls ask a guy out it is very rare, and I’ve never seen them once ask a guy to dance? I find it a double bladed sword and hard to keep up with what a woman’s true beliefs are. Maybe you can shed some light on this for me. | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 10:24:15 AM | why is it women do not understand this
women go out to dance, because they enjoy it
men go out because there are women there dancing
my priority of being out, is just that...being out.....
not to dance.
but feel free to ask, I don't have an issue with it.
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 23 | |
| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 11:43:34 AM | Dancing...usually is the major cause of not wanting to dance.
Women (some) look sexy when they dance and it's fun to watch
their body's move....it's purely sexual.
Dance, to me anyway, is a series of moves of a body
going into neurological shock...kinda like having a seizure....I prefer
a good work out at the gym instead.
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 11:54:29 AM | | my question is what stops women from asking men to dance? affraid to get rejected? men need to deal with it all the time. stop whinning and try to be a men for once and ask a guy to dance. | |
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| What stops men from asking women to dance?
Posted: 2/4/2007 12:02:50 PM | | I can't imagine why a guy wouldn't want to dance with you. Maybe they're intimidated, or maybe you're going to the wrong clubs. I can't stand the ones where the guys all just stand around or everyone forms a circle with their own clique, not wanting anything to do with anyone outside of that circle. | |
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