GSH
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Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 1 | |
| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/5/2007 4:37:27 AM | Hi there, I'm looking for some input here. Generally I don't like to put negative information in my profile however after my recent experiences the last couple of months I decided I better.
Would you date someone who is on ODSP which means Ontario Disability Support Program, if so why ? Also if not why? | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/5/2007 6:00:19 AM | I have. To be honest, it would have to depend, for me, on what you were on ODSP for.
With all the talk here at times about the value of a career...blah blah blah.... I know not having one can throw some doubt into your mind. I figure an incomer is an income is an income. We don't always get to chose how we get one... its just good to know you have one.
A Pity Post?? C'mon people. Just because the question is about ODSP?? You figure anyone on ODSP must be looking for pity? How rude and narrow-minded. | |
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GSH
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Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 3 | |
| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/5/2007 6:06:10 AM | | This sure as heck isn't any pity post... I think I have my answer from the request to delete this thread. Thanks | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/5/2007 6:08:50 AM | People don't live on ODSP, they barely exist! If you have any self esteem left, they must have missed something
Sorry, if you are on ODSP you can't afford to 'date', have a meal out and take someone or do anything beyond the point of survival unless you have been assigned a 'worker'. (due to mental challenges) If you can manage to work part-time, you might have a little breathing space, but beyond that...they pretty well own your soul!
It is sad the way ppl on ODSP are treated and the 'conditions' to which they are subjected. In a lot of cases, ppl are using their food money for rent. How can anyone who is on this system hope to find someone who is willing to accept them with a disability and no finances?
Some people can accept a disability and look past it to the person within, but not many would consider a future of struggle due to financial issues, unless they had sufficient funds to carry two people in the land of dating.
I'd be saying, be honest and up front, because the subject will eventually be revealed and it does restrict a lot of things that women are looking forward to doing when they date.
Friends will always be out there for you, but unless your financial situation changes it will be a difficult journey.
Wishing you the Best | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/5/2007 6:18:10 AM | Just don't give up. As much as there are people here that think that income and career and being in perfect health (a fantasy version of "normal"??) are everything, there are also those here that can and do look beyond those things at who you are as a person. Its not an easy road, but staying on it can work out well in the long run.  | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/5/2007 6:34:34 AM | | It is quite unfortunate in this situation, that people are not accepted upon thier merit, but upon thier income and how it is achieved. Another unfortunate issue is those that misuse and defraud the system, they make it hard on others who rely on the funds legitimately. There is a stigma that is difficult to overcome, with no real answers of how to achieve that. All you can do is to keep looking for the one understanding person that can see your situation as not being a problem. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 1/29/2008 2:58:30 PM | yeah, as I seem to be the only open odsp'er on POF I don't feel Stigmatized or
down cause of it, I still Have a great life and try to make the best and most of life
despite ODSP , I'm a very deep smart intelligent person, so if your on ODSP or
Ontario works, don't be afraid to pop in your profile!! you never know who you
may hook up with 
P.S. I know the thread is old , but i felt it needed a update, so never fear
here I am!!!  | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 1/30/2008 3:49:17 AM | | Unfortunately the "what is your career" question carries too much weight what ever happened to dating someone because they are fun funny and nice. I have a job not a career and it gets me by I can date and i can live and I can eat. and would rather struggle forever with the right person than Live in the lap of luxury with the wrong person. Thats all I have to say ....... people are so unhappy why? | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 1/30/2008 2:59:39 PM | Coming from someone who has been on both sides of the fence I would like to give my opinion on a few things here to the OP and to anyone else who cares to know more!
1. If a person cares too much about how much income you bring in by the first few dates they are probably looking for something more than just love! Besides your income level is none of their business!!!
2. Most single people (no kids) on ODSP get 1200/month, and OW get 500/month or more proven fact! Current rates are available at your local office! I will abide this is not much to live on for a month but it is possible! Keep in mind if you have children added into the mix the government subsidizes you further with extra housing and food money. Might I suggest if things are still rough to put yourself on a subsidized housing list and wait it out, it's worth the 5 year minimum wait!
3. While on ODSP/OW there are extra ways of acquiring more income eg. transporation, special diet, medical needs, etc... if you need more information ask your worker and if they do not help you then ask to speak to the supervisor. If they are not willing to provide these extras without a valid explaination APPEAL it! They have tightened down on the extras in the past few years as people have been heavily scamming the system.
Just because someone is on ODSP/OW is does not make them any different than YOU!!! Life throws curveballs and you should thank god that these resources are in Canada to fall back on when needed because who knows when you will need it!
Rant Done!
Snowflake: Be proud of yourself for your openness, you are no lesser of a person than anyone else on here because of your financial status!!! You deserved to be loved just the same! KUDOS to you! | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 1/30/2008 4:02:38 PM | Thanks for the very well written reply ~Mama~ so glad to see someone who
understands, and yes I am Proud of my openesss, and I'm for sure no less
of a person, because of what I have or do not have, I'm very content in my life
I have all I need ( accept a date or companion lol ) Im a big believer in honesty
I hold nothing back, it's not in my nature to mislead, I'm just making the best
of what I have... | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:26:18 PM | | Snowflakes as one that is on ODSP I totally understand what you are going through..unfortunatly there are some narrow minded people who can't get passed the not working issue..it's very sad we are labelled an passed over before someone actually takes the time to get to know us..I myself have been on ODSP for about a yr now due to a failed back surgery that I no longer can do the work before that I used to..but that doesn't make me less of a person actually makes me a better one as I am more understanding of others.Hang in there an keep your head held up high.. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 1/31/2008 9:14:49 AM | would rather struggle forever with the right person than Live in the lap of luxury with the wrong person.
^^^^ very well said. and i concur.
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 1/31/2008 12:02:45 PM | tried to post on this yesterday but i got an error lol.
Some very good posts here and its unfortunate that some people are more curious to know how much one has in their wallet...than whats in their heart 
For the majority of ODSP cases the persons disability/illness makes it impossible for them to work. For myself and others on ODSP we do make an effort to contribute to society by doing volunteer work. Which is a great expereince!
So as for myself and others on ODSP or recive other financial assistance we want someone that is looking for a person with a big heart and not one whos a human ATM machine | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 1/31/2008 12:49:11 PM | Spoken true by so many of you, it is definitely what is in one's heart that is most important.
I would never have a problem dating anyone on ODSP (even for the long haul), if he and I were "into each other". | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:56:50 AM | ok, now after using this site for awhile now, I'm starting to think my ODSP is
scaring off potential contacts as I have ODSP mentioned in my profile. I like
having it in there as I'm trying to be 100% truthful in my profile, I've
initiated contact to a dozen profiles, many got read, but no response.
am I doing it wrong lol? maybe I'm in the wrong venue for dating? should
I try something in the real world that's local,? I find it truly sad, as I'm really
a super terrific man, If only I can have a chance !!!  | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/1/2008 11:06:19 AM | well there would be two things I'd take into consideration here . . .
first off why are they on disability, and second what are they doing about it? if they're motivated to to do something productive and get off of disability (provided what they have can be worked around) and either get back to work OR they're working on starting in a new profession (going to school. . . etc etc) then that isn't going to affect my decision in dating someone like that(actually . . if they show that kind of determination the attitude will positively effect the rest of their lives, making them more dateable overall. confidence and determination really increase someone's value in the dating market)
now if this hypothetical person is not doing anything productive (provided they don't have something that interferes with daily life, some disabilities aren't that kind and people might suffer from chronic symptoms that DO interfere with living life) I wouldn't date them . . .again, this is assuming they could do something about the situation they're in but they choose not to (taking a week or two to do nothing is one thing . . .making a career out of it would be another. if I was on disability, would I be guilty of being lazy now and then? yes. just not all day everyday) | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/1/2008 12:05:02 PM | My ex is on ODSP and it was a hard struggle. He spent more than he brought in and contributed very little. I discovered that it wasn't the fact he was disabled or the fact that he was on ODSP it was that he did nothing to contribute to society or our life together. He would not seek treatments or therapy. In the end sad to say but I could not handle his disability any more. I think being on ODSP is going to make it harder to find the right someone. It's not an easy thing for either partner but as long as your up front you should find the right person. I applaude you for being so honest about it.  | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/1/2008 12:26:36 PM | I would be the opposite of your Ex, I contribute a lot to society, I volunteer, stay as busy
as I can, I'm currently taking a course , and I do my artisan thing lol, I'm always
striving to improve myself, and stay active,
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:14:25 PM | I really hate the judgmentalness that some people have toward those who are on disability. Saying that those on it shouldn't date is hateful and cruel. Not everyone needs to go out for fancy dinners or wear expensive clothing to be happy - there are lots and lots and lots of things you can do that don't cost a lot of money.
Unfortunately, though, the rules of ODSP make it difficult for people to date with any hope of it becoming long term or permanent, since the person is cut off if they marry or move in with someone earning more than a certain amount of money. Even if the spouse makes less than the income threshold, 50% of it is "clawed back". A lot of people don't want a partner who can't contribute financially to the household (they seem to forget there are other ways to contribute to a household) and some can't afford to support two people on their income.
Snowflakes, you seem like a very nice guy. I hope you find someone who can see past your disability and financial status. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/2/2008 11:35:48 AM | I'm another ODSP user.
$1200 a month on ODSP? I wish that were true but I'm not makin' that much.
I agree with the poster who said about contributing to society, everyone should needs to do something. I volunteer with Big Brothers and a therapeutic riding program at a local farm. I'm also taking a nightschool course that is great for brain exercise and will hopefully help me better myself.
Just my 2 cents. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 2/2/2008 2:00:08 PM | I'm so glad there are people on this post that totally understand, that yes, we are
people, we have hopes, dreams, ambitions , goals, we don't always get to chose the path
thats always given in life, we make the best of what we have! Some of the nicest people
I have met in real life , don't have a 100 bucks to their name.  | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/12/2008 9:15:36 AM | I retired a couple years ago (after being a major workaholic for 30 years, at 60+hrs/wk), for a combination of health reasons and in the process, to enjoy spending a few years as a stay-at-home mom to my adopted daughter, something I never had the opportunity to do with my now adult biological children.
My buy-out package from work is nearing it's end, and (as background information only) I previously lost 1/2 of everything I ever had - including my CPP , as well as having to make alimony payments - in a divorce. Such is life, and as I always somehow land on my feet anyway, so I never gave it much thought, figuring I would just return to work when the time comes.
I was completely caught off-guard when I just recently found out that I can not return to work - ever - due to medical reasons. Now I find myself in the position of having to apply for ODSP soon. I have to admit, it's a difficult pill to swallow, as I have been self sufficient my entire life. My friends (bless their hearts), say I shouldn't look at it the way I do, that 30yrs of working at 60-70hrs/week, is actually comparable to 45 years at 40hrs/wk, that I shouldn't feel bad, as I've paid into it, that this (my situation) is the reason what it's there for, and so forth... I understand what they are saying, but I feel so...for lack of a better word at the moment...helpless. Perhaps that is because I feel I have lost control of my options in life.
I've checked into it somewhat, and am grateful I have always been good with money, because -wow - I'm going to sorely need full use of that talent to get by on what my daughter and I would be receiving. I've been holding off applying just yet, but will have to overcome my pride (?) soon, and get the ball rolling *sigh*
I suppose the point of my rambling is that I am grateful to have been in this thread in the past, because it now allows me to fully see and truly understand how people felt about being recipients of ODSP, and how others view people in that situation. This is something I now worry about, and is what made me go back and re-read this thread in it's entirety.
I truly hope that I am fortunate enough to encounter people of the same generous and kind-hearted outlook that you all seem to possess, now that the shoe will be on the other foot for me.
hnh
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/12/2008 9:36:04 AM | | well it all depends on what else the people do with there lives | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/12/2008 10:49:58 AM | | Hey love is love, money dont matter....... | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 4/12/2008 2:48:28 PM | I too am on ODSP, and have been for years after becoming very I'll at age 17 during
highschool, ( came close to actually dying and ended up in a 2 week coma) so I was
pretty severe, I've come a long long long way since then and I'm about 80 to 90 % normal
but basically what I'm saying is people do not choose a disability pension for the hell of it
oh I'm not and don't wanna work syndrome , I totally enjoy what life I Have now,
and keep very busy, as I'm trying to get in to college next fall, ( never too late)
I volunteer and help people everyday,. including many seniors, I have many hobbies,
and lead a full filling life, and never ever spend or overspend into debt, Im happy
with what I have, and I have a hell of a lot more going for my personality, compared to say my brothers. Has ODSP pension, affected my performance on POF? , absolutely as it
seems lack of a higher income is a total deal breaker, but for what I have ( personally thinking of myself) is a personality that is caring , kind, compassionate, and everything
else that money can not buy, in regards to being a human being, a super nice guy
Tony !!!! | |
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