| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/6/2007 12:56:19 PM | ok, scenario:
the girl is 18, the guy is 27. they've been dating for 6 months, things go good for awhile, then things get bad. he has cheated 6 times,lied to her,broken up with her twice, pulled her hair, yells at her, and they fight like every other week. she spent the night at this guys house after her mom told her no, and now her mom kicks her out and she moves in with this guy...what do you think of this? can moving in together so early make things better or worse? is moving in together a good idea? | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/6/2007 12:58:54 PM | I think she's an idiot for remaining with a guy who cheated even once and is abusive. Her mom is a ****ING IDIOT for kicking her out and basically throwing her into the lion's den.
She obviously needs someone to be there for her, if it can't be her mom then it needs to be a female friend she can roommate with. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:00:32 PM | well we all have NO idea why the mother kicked her out in the first place
I would think there could be a better option for her other than moving in with a a$$ | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:10:00 PM | This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sounds like the tornado has already ripped through this relationship. Moving in will just bring on the hurricane, earthquake, and tsunamis. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:13:13 PM | | I agree with all above this is a ticking time bomb. The guy already has issues being 27 and picking up a 18 year old. Plus there are tons of warning signs here for abuse with pulling hair (not in a sexual way) and pushing and yelling. She will be lucky if she doesn't end up in the hospital sooner or later... Unfortunaly you can't a anyone from the ages of 15-22 or 23 what would be best for them because they already Know whats best for them thats why they are where they are. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:14:31 PM | He already cheated 6 times? She is an idiot if she thinks things will get better.
Pulls her hair, beats her, yell at her. EARTH TO STUPID GIRL!!!
The guy is a total loser, and she is a moron if she can't see that. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:16:18 PM | | OP, she needs things to get *worse&? I'd say they're pretty bad already...and she's only 18...Hopefully she get out of the situation fast, before she gets hurt worse or, god forbid, gets pregnant. And no, moving in, especially at 18, is *not* a good idea...and it's an especially *bad* idea to be moving in with this particular guy. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:33:58 PM | She has moved in with and made herself dependent on someone that felt free to engage in abusive behavior when she had some place to go. She has also created a situation that going home is tucking her tail between her legs so she has also eliminated a resource when he does start beating her.
She needs to recognize that they have not 'moved in together,' she fled her home and moved in with her boyfriend, there is a difference. She needs to leave him, whether she makes amends with her mother is optional. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:55:28 PM | Sounds EXACTLY like me and my ex about 4 years back. I was young and stupid and thought it would get better if I was living with him. My parents didn't kick me out, but they made it known that I wasn't very welcome in their house while I was staying with him.
My advice, get the hell outta that relationship as fast as you can. It's not going to get any better and you're going to wind up getting hurt worse than you already have. He's controlling you, and you should not stand for it. It might be difficult to leave, it was for me, but the sooner you do it, the easier it will be and the safer YOU will be.
Edit: Sorry, meant that your friend should get out of that relationship. Obviously you are smart enough to know that it's not good, so hopefully you can be there for her when she needs someone. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:15:39 PM | | i know, i don't know what to do with her...she actually thinks that he loves her...i just dont understand how she could think that affter all the horrible things hes done to her...and i believe she purposely tried to get kicked out so she could move in with him...she has no car and i dont see how shes going to have money to go to school and pay bills...she didnt even graduate from h.s...i dont get how this relationship has lasted as long as it has... | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:23:09 PM | Never move in....
Always find a gf or if a guy, find a buddy or two to share rent, etc.
Shacking up....bad news....for both eventually... if it is true love...get married and stay married. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/6/2007 4:09:48 PM | Have you told her you think moving in with him is a bad idea? Sometimes when you are in love, or you "think" you are in love, you don't care what your friends say...trust me I know lol. But if you haven't talked to her about this, you should, and make her realize that he is not a good guy.
I should have listened to my friends when they told me, maybe your friend will listen to you. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/6/2007 5:28:18 PM | | your friend is going to do what she is going to do. you can't stop that. just let her know your opinions about her boyfriend. say you don't like him and you don't like the way she treats her than tell her its her life and that you will be there for her when she needs you. eventually she will see what an abusive a$$h*le this guy is. and as long as she knows she has somewhere safe to go she might just wake up and leave him. hopefully before its too late. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/7/2007 11:02:31 AM | | i dont think hes going to start beating her, but isnt it not a good situation to move out to your boyfriends house when you are 18 and on bad terms with the parents? | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/7/2007 11:34:26 AM | The bad situation is not that she has moved in with her BF at 18 but that she has moved in with a lieing cheater that has beat her in the past. He will beat her again.
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/7/2007 12:00:00 PM | Do her a HUGE favor & make sure she is on BC and using it properly....what she's doing now is bad enough, but it would be WAY worse if there was a pregnancy/child involved.
If she's this confused, she may just have the mistaken notion that a child would make him love her more. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/7/2007 12:36:19 PM | Good lord, what does she see in a future with him?
Maybe she thinks he will change, NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/7/2007 12:44:56 PM | maybe this is temporary.
She obviously can't love this man. It's not human.
Maybe she is just going to stay with him untill she has things straightened out.
There are always reasons for being with someone. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/7/2007 12:57:14 PM | | I don't know about where you live but there are other places she could go to around here. She should look into a safe ouse like a womens shelter. But moving with this guy is a very bad and dangerous mistake. She is playing with fire and will get burnt. Try finding out about services in your area for battered women cause history will repeat itself with this individual, and she will need all the help she can. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/7/2007 1:04:02 PM | Is there anything positive to think about this scenerio? Obviously, someone is needing to figure out why they are willing to participate in such a ridiculous "relationship." He may be the azzhole, but she's a active player in the game.  | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/7/2007 4:41:43 PM | | They've been seeing each other for only 6 months and he's already cheated on her 6 times, I think she need to move out as soon as possible. She must be a big headed thats why her mum is upset with her. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/7/2007 4:57:07 PM | You guys arn't looking at the whole picture.....
Maybe she had no where else to go.
It was my understanding of the OP that the girl was kicked out of her parents house for staying the night at the boyfriends house without permission. So I'm sure if she told the parents that she was going to stop seeing this loser guy, that they would allow her back in the house. Maybe I misunderstood.
Anyway, there is ALWAYS somewhere else to go besides with your abusive cheating boyfriend. If she can't stay with any other family, maybe she has a good friend she can stay with. Trust me, I was in this situation long enough myself a few years ago, there is always somewhere to go besides the boyfriends house. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/7/2007 6:26:43 PM | in the OP scenario... the gal is a total moron for moving in with the abuser.
That relationship will NEVER improve.
The end result will be the guy going to jail for abuse or for murder. | |
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| moving in with the boyfriend...
Posted: 2/7/2007 6:33:20 PM | | my opinion is it is the worse thing for her, he has already shown he is a cheater and abuser. If they move in together it makes it easier for abusive behaviour to continue. Don't let it happen for her safety if no other reason | |
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