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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:50:31 PM | okay, you probably all, or atlest most of you, read my forums, and the troubles with the bf, and anyways, i was talking to one of my boyfriends friends the other day and mentioned to him what my boyfriend was being like, anyways this is what i "learned" about guys...
he said, it was normal for guys to:
1. ignore you when another hot girl is in the room
2. totally size up another girl walking past regardless if their gf is next to them
3. being discreet about being with there woman
4. being all nice and romantic when alone, but acting like a jerk when there not.
5. letting other girls flirt with them without telling them about the gf, because it makes them feel, what was he said?... hotter or something, like more manly..
6. not kiss them goodbye or give them a hug in public.. only if there alone
overall, he plainly said, that when a guy treats the girl like crap it was normal for the guy... and everthing my boyfriend was doing to me was something every guy would do. and anyways, i didnt know who to ask, that is a dude, and then i thought about here..
how many guys actually believe this to be true? and who dont?
would you do this to your girlfriend? | |
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:55:28 PM | This behavior may be the NORM, but it is certainly not NORMAL. Yeah, men - a bunch of freaks.
And you haven't dumped this guy because...? I seriously wouldn't put up with this sh*t. Come on. Seriously. Dump him. | |
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:59:29 PM | Ok, first of all, it is NOT normal for your boyfriend to ignore you when there is a "hot" girl in the room. Gyrating on his lap, maybe. Just in the room? Hell NO!
Will he size up other women, whether he's walking with you or not. Yes. But then you can always comment on them to let him know you've noticed. If you say something like "Wow... she was hot!!!", He will think you're toally cool. (but only use this when you think she is hot. if you don't then ignore it, unless it's truly awful).
If they are with other women, of course they will be discreet about it. They get to have their cake and eat it too... If you were in their shoes, wouldn't you be discreet?
Normally it's not cool for a guy to be all romantic in front of his friends, but I thought that was only for guys who were like 17.
Most guys will let women flirt, to a point, before mentioning their Significant Other. But not all.
Most guys will hug/kiss their girlfriends good bye. Even if they are in front of their friends (unless you're dating a teenager). When kissing their Girlfriend in public, in front of friends, he's showing that he's getting action. Nothing to be embarassed about. But some people just don't like Public displays of affection.
All in all, if you don't like these things, there are men who don't do it. You just have to be more selective about who you date. You're likely an amazing gal. You should only date amazing guys.
Just my 2 cents. | |
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 6:03:08 PM | your all going to think im retarted, but i just got this thing, i give anyone a fair chance, and if they get that one fair chance, they get 3 chances to make stupid mistakes, and then make up, once they hit the 3d its over...
anyways, i havent left him because hes only on his second one, but the third is coming quick. and his friend told me this, so obviously its not just my boyfriend that acts this way. but i think alot of the reason that i stay with him is for the saturdays when he comes over. its fun, even when we dont go out.. (went out once or twice now, and it was fun, must say, lol) but just to lay around and cuddle, and watch movies, and listen to music... i love it... i think thats the only thing keeping me going, and stupid like i've began to fall for him>:( although i didnt WANT to go that far with it... it just happened... grrr...  not because i dont want to love anyone though, but when i first went out with him, i felt it more like a little fling more then any really serious, but now he wants it serious, and i do too, although after my last brake up that made me go into anxiety, i didnt want to fall again and lose another one... im mainly afraid of a couple things:
1. being alone, never finding anyone to actually WANT me..
2. getting depressed and anxiety again...(mine is serious chest pains, ouch)
3. having to go through the pain of seeing him everyday and school, and then probably seeing him with, liking, kissing, etc. someone else:( that would kill me inside...
*look deep into my sky blue eyes, and you'll see that im dead inside* | |
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ya472
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 8 | |
| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 6:05:39 PM |
how many guys actually believe this to be true? and who dont?
What is the prize for guessing the correct the right answer ?
What is important here, and it is REAL important, HOW DO YOU FEEL when he does this ?
If it doesn't feel good, then it is NOT something that you want in your life.
I wouldn't, hence I have been single a long time. Better to be single and happy, than in an unhappy 'relationship'.
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 6:08:52 PM | This is not normal guy behaviour... Ofcourse when a very nice looking woman walks by we look, like you would look to a very good looking guy walking by.. Seems to me that he isn't into you at all and would grab anything he can as long as he thinks the woman is attractive..
Just think about this: This is what he does when you are around... What is he doing when you are not around?????? | |
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 6:09:52 PM | It really does sound that he is keeping his options open and keeping an eye on the field - sorry to be blunt, but it sounds that way!
Anxiety chest pains - great, aren't they, nothing like feeling you're about to have a coronary - I especially enjoy it when I get them in a meeting at work! | |
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 6:12:27 PM | Pinksalmon,
to be honest, the girls, arent hot, one is pregnant, one is about 25-30, though hes 21, and another one he was with before, he said he dont like because shes a druggy.. and anyways, i feel pretty next to them somewhat... but the girl that he was talking to today... dammmm, she was hot, even i could see that. talk about making me feel like i have competition..
i dont mind the sizing up other woman thing, okay, lets put this in his friends words, "it IS normal for him, or any guy to be listening to you one minute, and then when a hot girl walks past just totally forget you were talking, watch them (following the girl with his head walking past) as there going past and when they are out of sight say.. oh what were you saying?" THAT dont seem right, as for just 'sizing them up' that dont bother me, i do the same with guys and girls myself...
i dont be discreet, thats one thing my parents taught me... if you are going steady with someone, and you think you care for them alot, make sure you do nothing to jeopardize the realtionship, if another guy is flirting with you, or taking things a little to far say, "back off, i have a boyfriend.." and if they dont listen then, leave! so thats what i do... i thought he was the same way, but turns out i was dead wrong.
as for being romantic... me and him and his friend, went to kitchener one weekend, it was the first time i was out there, the whole time we were out there, he was kissing me, holding my hand, hugging me, pulling me close if i wandered to far away, and was being oh so sweet, his friend was real nice too, and anyways, when i left to go home he give me a big kiss, and hug and left... then when we used to skip school he would give me a kiss downtown or whereever we would depart, and a hug.. same with at school... he would kiss me and hug me and hold me for like 5 minutes before saying see ya later, and see ya later, before he left for work. now he does nothing.
in the beginning he was exactly what i wanted... now hes exactly what i had before and broke up with... my ex of 3 years acted just like he do, i feel like i have him back in my life.. something i hadnt intended on... | |
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ya472
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 12 | |
| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 6:14:34 PM |
1. being alone, never finding anyone to actually WANT me..
2. getting depressed and anxiety again...(mine is serious chest pains, ouch)
3. having to go through the pain of seeing him everyday
Those things are really tough to deal with.
However, you are in luck. As you mature, you will realize, those are all the SIGNS that you ARE NOT ready for a relationship.
If you feel those things, then it is time to 'DISCOVER YOURSELF'. Focus on your schoolwork, make a new friend EVERY DAY, and visit your family more often. Talk to someone you admire.
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 6:16:37 PM | Yes, these are all jerk qualities.
#2 is the only one I can see doing personally. I don't feel too bad about it, because I know who I'm with. And the thought probably isn't lingering anyway. Attractive woman noticed, and that's it. Can't turn that off. PinkSalmon, where do you get your information? You seem quite informed. That would be cool! It would show she's comfortable and trusts me.
Maybe #5, depending on the situation. It wouldn't be reciprocated, but hey, women seem to only flirt with you when you have a woman around.  If you're alone, NOTHING! Enjoy it while you can. If someone was flirting with me, I wouldn't exactly say "No! Stop! You'll make my gf jealous!" I'd let it happen, enjoy the attention, and then I would simply introduce my gf. "This is my gf _____ " It really depends how he acts about it.
1. Jerk quality.
2. Just answered.
3. Jerk quality.
4. Jerk quality.
5. Hmm, allowing it to happen to a degree.
6. PDA situation. Depends on the person. But if they aren't shy about it, jerk quality.
I know guys personally who do these all of these things, and I'm sitting here single wondering why the women they're with stick by them. | |
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 6:35:23 PM | | grr... im guessing there are more idiots around then enough... lol, that being the bf and his friend, if one thinks its right, the other is going to, because more then one of them is doing it, and if more then one does it, the male mind auntomatically thinks its right. or so it seems... | |
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 6:35:51 PM | | your being played!!! and your being disrespected you deserve to be in a better relationship! there are real guy's out there who will treat you the way you deserve dump the losser and his losser friend's!!!!!!!!! | |
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dvnjn
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Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 17 | |
| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 6:38:34 PM | | I do not think this is normal at all. Granted guys will always look at other girls because guys are very visual. Sounds like " he's not that into you". Move on honey your a goddess!! No man is worth your tears the one who is won't make you cry! | |
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 6:40:03 PM | Given your age, I am going to assume that your boyfriend is simply too F***ing
immature to even have a girl friend. And he's an inconsiderate a$$hole, as well.
He is treating you like a rug, walking all over you & you are allowing it! Cut it out!
You seriously need to develop more self-esteem, because nobody deserves to be treated
like crap. But he apparently doesn't know how to treat a woman properly, so you need to
teach him a lesson. Treat a woman like dirt & she's going to dump you!! | |
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 6:44:05 PM | | sound's like you have some issues going on that dosen't even involve the BF you need to seek out a professional that you can talk to and stop talking to your BF friend's because he's running right back to your BF and telling him everything your saying to him!!!!!!!! if you like sharing you man then by all mean's keep him hope your using a condom considering he like to play around. And when he get another girl prego you can help pay his bills to give your head a shake girl your young and will be able to find a better man! | |
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:02:59 PM | | my issues, i'm only 19 years old, i've had a boyfriend that was a drunk, deep into the dope, blamed me for everything, called me everything from simply an ***hole, and if theres a curse word to call me that starts with Z he called me that too.. and when he got really mad he would hit me, with a book, or his hand, etc... i got out of that one... i have been cheated on and let it slide because i was too blind to see it. and i've been used.. melested... etc. i have talked to people about that, but i still have my times where i get suspicious... how can i not? someone my age shouldnt have went through that stuff already... there are people in there 60's that hasnt been through this... i just seen the good side of him, in the beginning, now i see a different side... he told me before, "my mom told me that i show people i love them by gettng mad at them, so when i start getting mad at you, it means i love you!" but this dont seem just bieng mad, this seems like soo much more!! | |
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/8/2007 8:36:26 PM | | Sounds like behavior I've seen. Sadly, it kind of works. Its that whole being a jerk and still getting tons of girls thing that all the dudes on here seem to complain about. Help break the cycle, stop rewarding this kind of behavior and lay down the law to this guy. | |
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/9/2007 3:53:13 AM | Uh, no, not normal.
All but #2 & #5 sound like like he's embarrased to be with you (ie, no affections, interest in public). #2 & #5 sound like he's, sorry, "just not that into you" (flirting w/ other women, "sizing them up"). Treating a woman like dirt in public is *not* normal.
Sorry, I dunno as I'd bother staying in a relationship like that. I *like* "PDAs", I'm the same w/ a GF in public as I am in private (ok, ok, I'm not an exhibitionist, *some* things stay in private!  ). Acting like that isn't something I would do, or consider appropriate for anyone else. Some people may not be into "public" affection (reserved), but treating you "like crap" in public... very different things. Thats a total lack of respect.
"Its that whole being a jerk and still getting tons of girls thing that all the dudes on here seem to complain about. Help break the cycle, stop rewarding this kind of behavior and lay down the law to this guy."
Heh, yup Mike, I have to agree with that one. It works because they *let* them get away with it. If they couldn't get away with it and still have the girl, they'd learn that its not an effective way to have a relationship. Sadly, of course, they'll just find another sucker, I mean woman, who *will* put up with it (lack of self-esteem). | |
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| i need to know if its normal for a guy to do this...
Posted: 2/9/2007 4:23:19 AM | I have to agree with most of the posts here. Not really normal but maybe more so for your age bracket I wouldn't be able to tell its been a while since I was in school. I also agree this does not sound like a healthy relationship and you should consider moving on. Your not going to find someone that treats you the way you want to be treated while still dating him. Get rid of him so you can both move on with your lives and find what you are looking for.
Laen
Stampeder #3 | |
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