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 Princess91
Joined: 4/5/2005
Msg: 1
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomyPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Hi there...I am 34 and my husband is 41...we were married in 7/04...I am pregnant and he had a vasectomy 6 years ago...I HAVE NOT cheated on him....how am I going to tell him????? Please help me
 meowmix
Joined: 1/16/2005
Msg: 2
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 8:57:17 AM
take him to your doctors with you, and let the doctor do it. that can happen, have heard of before, but i know how upsetting that must be to you and your husband, of course there will be doubts there now.
good luck
MM
 Elwood Blues
Joined: 12/10/2004
Msg: 3
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 8:58:59 AM
Tell him you saw an angel before it happened?

Hey wait............ did you KNOW this guy when he had his "vasectomy"?

... and another possibility is that the operation wasn't incredibly successful... or maybe it needs to be redone... Lots of possibilities...
 Spoiled Princess
Joined: 11/17/2004
Msg: 4
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 8:59:36 AM
LMAO^^^^too funny Elwood
ewe...sounds like only time will tell.....Good Luck!

Thank goodness for DNA test....
 Spoiled Princess
Joined: 11/17/2004
Msg: 5
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 9:01:48 AM
Again....I say Thank goodness for DNA test...(too prove her point of course)
 busty23
Joined: 11/16/2004
Msg: 6
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 9:08:34 AM
my mum fell pregnant with me & my brother after my dad had had a vasectomy

these things can happen ... & if your husbands questions it there is obviously trust issues in your marriage that need to be worked out
 Human Ills
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 7
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 9:11:04 AM
I think one might be able to forgive the guy for wanting a DNA test. If you are going to jump his case as having trust issues because he'd like proof, then I'll say she might have honesty issues if she's unwilling to provide the proof.

His entire financial future is at stake, and we already know he doesn't want more children.
For God'ssakes people.
 dudio
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 8
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 9:19:41 AM
Just reading around for what information I can find princess.
I think you are best to have both of you talk with his and/or
your doctor, and get some facts.
Big question: Did he ever get his sperm checked after the vascectomy?

info I found:
Recanalization is the development of a channel for sperm flow between the two cut ends of the vas. If this happens during the healing process (early), the semen never becomes sperm-free until the vasectomy is repeated. If recanalization happens late (months or years after a man's semen has been examined and declared sperm-free), an unplanned pregnancy could result; but the odds of this occurring is far less after vasectomy than the odds of pregnancy with any other form of birth control including birth control pills and tubal ligation (female sterilization).

Also .. check the posts going on here:
http://www.fertilitext.org/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000222.html

good luck
 ~Songbird~
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 9
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 9:26:21 AM
These medical 'miracles' do happen...either the whole procedure was done wrong or half assed and wore off. My aunt became pregnant after having her 'tubes tied'. In this case, the father couldn't question her since SHE had the surgery...haha When you two see the doctor forever, don't make a big deal out of it if he asks for paternity test. And if he's too shy to ask for it, maybe simply ask him if he feels the need for one? Most likely he'll be too shy to ask for one because he doesn't want to hurt you or make you mad.
 Goddard
Joined: 2/17/2005
Msg: 10
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 9:26:22 AM


if your husbands questions it there is obviously trust issues in your marriage that need to be worked out


"Darling, I know you had a vasectomy, but I'm pregnant. Trust me, it's yours". Obviously he's a real inconsiderate, crass guy by thinking that perhaps the vasectomy rendered him sterile. He should trust her unconditionally, after all it's her word.

How do you work out a trust issue? Obviously, by proving that such trust is deserved. Do the DNA, even if he doesn't insist about it.
 Human Ills
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 11
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 9:33:37 AM
I'm of the opinion that a DNA test should be performed at every birth for the purposes of establishing paternity. If it became commonplace, there sure would be a lot less strife that is derived from a man asking for one. At the very least, too much is at stake to expect men to make anything less than an informed decision. Remember, as soon as a guy is duped into thinking the child is his and begins to support it, he's on the hook for 18 years. And considering the divorce rate, and the percentage of divorces that are brought by women, DNA testing at birth is only fair.



Hmmmm now who might be against such a proposal?
 Eric46
Joined: 9/2/2004
Msg: 12
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 9:38:29 AM
princess,

If your learning of your pregnancy from a home test kit ... by all means consider that fact you may be showing a false positive.

Have your own doctor determine if you are "in fact pregnant" first before you make yourself nuts. You can then also discus the situation with your own doctor for advice on the matter.

He may be able to explain to both you and your husband what can sometimes happen ... your husband may well be aware of all the facts about vasectomies but hasn't passed this information on to you.

If it turns out to be the case and you are pregnant ... and you've been faithful to him ... he shouldn't have any problem excepting that. After all, he is your husband and is entitled to know.

I wont recommend setting up an appointment without his knowledge ... that decision is entirely yours.
..................

Just one other thing princess.
He might not be too keen about the idea of you being on a date site ... (I know that doesn't imply your looking for someone) ... but it may raze an eyebrow or two with him if he doesn't know already (I know it would me) ... and could open up a whole other can of worms for you to deal with.

He might begine to think you've become bored with him ... or worse.
 aliveinndg
Joined: 2/15/2005
Msg: 13
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 10:09:01 AM
I would agree with Eric on the statement about you being on a dating site even if your intentions are completly innocent.
As for the pregnancy test: there are false negatives... rarely are there false positives.
As for the pregnancy itself... well yeh he's gonna have issues with it (and i think you're both going to have to step in eachother's shoes in order to work it: i mean he is going to have to be understanding of your worries and you of his)... but if you are completely 100% sure that it's his you have nothing to worry about...as another poster said... DNA test will prove it.
 busty23
Joined: 11/16/2004
Msg: 14
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 10:15:48 AM
I think one might be able to forgive the guy for wanting a DNA test. If you are going to jump his case as having trust issues because he'd like proof, then I'll say she might have honesty issues if she's unwilling to provide the proof.

His entire financial future is at stake, and we already know he doesn't want more children.
For God'ssakes people.


where the hell did you see someone jumping on his case for wanting a dna because i havent seen anyone doing it???
ok so say he gets his dna test & it comes back he is the dad do you really believe their marriage will ever be the same again?????
 Human Ills
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 15
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 10:20:22 AM
Like I said. DNA testing should be standard at ALL childbirths. Just for this reason.


Like I also implied.... Just who in our society would be opposed to such policy?

Oh, and yes, I saw you do it. You were fixin to jump his case.
 busty23
Joined: 11/16/2004
Msg: 16
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 10:24:47 AM
^^^^ you obviously dont know me very well

i was giving my opinion which is what you do in a forum...i aint here to jump on anyone & you accussing me of it is utter non-sense

on topic...if he wants a dna test then so be it ... but all im sayingis be careful ive been there they can be life changing
 Human Ills
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 17
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 10:27:43 AM
It would be far less of a big deal if it was STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE at every childbirth.
It's only fair.

I can't think of any legitimate reason for anybody to be opposed to the policy. Would solve much.
She should bring up the test, just to ease his mind.
 nopepr
Joined: 2/5/2005
Msg: 18
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 10:32:41 AM
Before even having a DNA test he can get his seamen tested for sperm. If it shows up blank then well DNA is the next step but at that point I know I'd be suspicious.
 WastedTalents
Joined: 2/8/2005
Msg: 19
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History
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 10:35:42 AM
I feel your pain princess, have had this exact conversation with mine since I realised the possibilities a long time ago. It hasn't happened to us but even having the conversations about the possiblilities didn't help me feel any calmer about the fact that it very well could happen (and I pray for it to happen to boot). So great luck to you and and all my positve thoughts to ya'! It is a huge battle that if ment to be won will and either way the truth WILL come out in the end and hopefully he will handle it correctly then if not in the meantime.
 squeak365
Joined: 12/21/2004
Msg: 20
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 11:00:27 AM
Go to his doc and make sure he is sperm free b4 the birth. That would be a hell of a lot cheaper than DNA. If he is, then do the DNA test.

If DNA tests were done at every birth, who is gonna pay for it? The insurance companies won't. The cost is a bit out of hand for most couples. This could be a good idea...but then the whole trust issue is thrown out the window.

Humans are such a sad lot. I understand the bottom line for most men now days seems to be the money. Whatever happened to the kids? So many are abandoned by the fathers both emotionally and physically....and the men I talk to cry about the money. Then there are the good fathers....like Late and Sam.

If you are putting your little swimmin' wigglies out there on the fields of life, ya best be expecting some to take root. Even with a vas it can happen.

Squeak

Princess - hang in there....hopefully you are being honest with us. Need a friend?
 Human Ills
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 21
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 12:50:39 PM
Simple we force the insurance companies to pick up the tab of routine DNA testing as the cost of giving birth through legislative efforts. We mandate it. It's only fair. Men have a right to be secure in the knowledge that the grunion they are supporting, and will support after the woman is done with him, are indeed, his.

Fair is fair.

The only people that I could see being opposed to such policy are women that count on not having their faithfulness called into question.
My concern does not rest with those women.
 indigo rose
Joined: 11/25/2004
Msg: 22
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 12:57:08 PM
this happened to my neighbor's they had three kids
he got neutered<--ha...and she got pregnant....
they actually seperated over this.. guess what ..it was
HIS BABY ..but he didn't learn that for sure until his son was
7 months old...the kicker to this story is she got her tubes tied
and got pregnant again...true story !
 Human Ills
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 23
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 1:00:23 PM
I'm not saying it can't happen. I'm saying that the women should suck up and get tested in order to prove their fidelity. IMO.
Guys have too much more to lose by being suckered by a manipulative player slut woman. It's not right. And there are policies we can implement to make sure men aren't victimized in such a way.

Again... Just who exactly, would be opposed to my suggestion?
 Raven34
Joined: 3/8/2005
Msg: 24
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 1:25:00 PM
Hi Princess:

I had a friend that had a vasectomy a longgggggggggggggg time ago after his child was born. There were some major complications with her birth and his wife and him decided not to risk another pregnancy.

A few years later they divorced and he eventually moved onto another relationship. The second relationship they were together for about 10 years when she started having some problems health wise and being the ages they were they assumed she was going through the change of life. They were both older....her children from her first marriage were late teens early 20s so it didn't seem unreasonable for it to be a change of life situation. She went to the doctors and came to find out that she was pregnant.

She knew she hadn't messed about but was very distressed at having to tell this man she had been with for a decade that she was pregnant knowing he wasn't supposed to be able to have any more children.

His knee jerk response was that he didn't believe her after all it had many, many years since he had the surgery. Once he calmed down though he went to the doctors with her and they did a test on his sperm. The doc sat them down and told them in no uncertain terms that his "boys" were swimmers and there was no doubt the baby was his.

He DID NOT go have his sperm count checked after the initial operation and just had been VERY lucky that no one got pregnant prior to when it happened with her.

So it does happen and there really is no time limit as to when it can happen after a vasectomy....especially ones done back then....nothing is 100%. I would suggest taking your husband with you to the doctors and having a sperm count/activity test done asap. If you didn't mess about that will prove it and save you both headaches in the long run.

Good luck sweetie.

Raven
 Rencen
Joined: 1/14/2005
Msg: 25
Pregnant...and my husband has had a vasectomy
Posted: 4/13/2005 2:07:38 PM
Maybe it's me,

But if it were a loving, trusting relationship DNA testing would not be the first concern would it?

Finding out if it were biologically possible to impregnate your spouse would be my first concern; if it happened unexpectedly, I would want to make sure I don't do it again.

That would put everyone at ease and unoffended.
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